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Old 09-28-2016, 07:29 AM   #51
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On an unusually warm Sunday afternoon in late March, Logan sat alone in his apartment. The worst hockey season of his life was finally over, yet he was feeling more depressed than he’d felt in months. His roommates were outside enjoying the nice weather, but he didn’t want to be around anyone.

The only thing he really wanted to do was consume a massively satisfying meal; anything that he could get his hands on, fill up, and then hibernate. That new burger place a few blocks over had been tempting him for weeks. Those delicious grilled and deep fried smells tortured him every time he walked past since it opened back in January. A big bacon cheeseburger with a pile of salty fries… perfect. I can reward myself, right? All the healthy food and extra training that I’ve put up with for months? I deserve to eat something good for once. And some ice cold beer… that would taste amazing today.

Having decided on his self-indulgent splurge, he pulled a box of summer clothes down from the top of his closet to find a pair of shorts, but everything he’d been wearing over the last couple of years was too big on him now. He dug deep to the bottom, finding a halfway decent pair he hadn’t felt comfortable buttoning around his waist since the summer before he started college. He was shocked by how well they fit, and realized how much his body had changed since then.

It made him think back to his very first UMN camp weigh-in when he was at his lightest; the same week that Abbey left him for Texas. He had vowed to himself back then that he was going to keep his body in perfect shape for the team, and never have an uncomfortable discussion about his weight again. Everyone was depending on him to do well… while Logan had been still depending on Abbey to come back to him, and he knew what she always expected of him as well.

Yet somehow his best laid plans got derailed. The weight gain was so gradual at first that he’d had plenty of time to get used to each fraction of a pound, making his thickening physique so easy to rationalize as just some body maturity or weight room enhancements. He also had slipped past some criticism for a while because he’d been a heavy player for enough years that he knew how to compete at a high level even with a few extra pounds. His mental game and skating skills had long compensated for the marginally lost speed that a little extra heft might cause. But it finally got way too out of hand and caught up with him when the red shirt slapped him across the face with a fat dose of reality.

Still shirtless, he looked into the mirror and ran his hand down his abs like he did every morning to remind himself of why he needed to maintain his regimen. I don’t want to let the team down again, damn it. One burger always turns into more burgers…

Though instead of thinking of Abbey and what she would say about his lack of discipline, like he always used to do, he thought of Meadow and how she’d been there for him during the hardest months of his life. Sure, she had been aloof for a while and tough for a bit longer, but she had also become pretty understanding lately too. He figured that if anyone could keep him off the gluttonous ledge, she was the one.

He threw on a t-shirt and dug deep into his confidence reserves, reaching out to her with a text:
Bored?
Meadow’s heart jumped. Things had been pleasant enough between them most days, but there was also some awkwardness. With her feelings for him ever closer to the surface, she felt like she was always tripping over herself trying to act casual, and making a forced effort to be ‘business as usual’ at their regular morning workouts. She really hadn’t expected to hear from him randomly on a weekend, though.

Trying to stay cool, she texted back casually:
Maybe
It was surprising how one little positive emoticon back from her could make him feel a little better already.
Wanna walk?
Sure
Where when?
Goldy at 3?
Sounds good
“Hey,” Meadow walked up to Logan, who was already sitting on the steps at Coffman Hall, and sat down next to him.

“Hey,” he eked out a small smile for her, even though he was still feeling gloomy.

“Shorts, huh?” Meadow furtively admired his big, marvelously sculpted legs.

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “It’s nice enough out today.”

“Indeed,” she took a deep breath and felt the mild, southern breeze over her face. Warming temperatures always meant she’d be saying goodbye to outdoor ice training for a while, which usually made her feel disappointed. But instead, she found herself thinking that it would be nice to get her inline racers back on, especially if Logan were by her side to keep her challenged. It was funny how he had improved her usual attitude towards life’s little frustrations.

His eyes glanced over at her, observing her pretty profile. She always managed to be so naturally sexy. Bad idea to get lost in those kinds of thoughts right now. He quickly moved his attention away from her face and body to study the statue of their beloved rodent mascot.

Meadow could see that Logan was not feeling talkative, so she tried to fill the uneasy quiet with some conversation. “I was here the day they unveiled him,” she pointed to Goldy, who was as always, cheerfully smiling with his hugely cartoonish buck teeth.

“He’s still happy at least,” he smirked at the bronze Gopher’s silly face and looked down.

She clearly saw how sour his mood was and stood up, “Come on, let’s walk.”

As they strolled along the campus walkways, Meadow made more small talk about her time there as a student while Logan stayed mostly quiet. At one point, she observed a small group of college girls gawking at him and whispering among themselves. Logan was entirely unaware of their starry-eyed attentions, though. She couldn’t tell if they were aspiring puck bunnies who knew exactly who he was, or just co-ed randoms crushing on a hot guy. Either way Meadow felt a weird protectiveness come over her. It was yet another odd feeling she wasn’t used to experiencing.

Wandering north through the campus, past University and up to 4th Street, they ended up standing right across the street from the Mariucci Arena. Logan stopped abruptly, crossed his arms and glared back at that damn barn. It used to make him feel so hopeful about his future, but now all he felt was empty. Maybe he should have just gone and gotten that big burger and some cold beers; that would have filled his emptiness for a little while.

“You saw the season ended last night?” Logan muttered sullenly, turning away to pace. He was unable to cross the street and walk any closer to it.

Meadow nodded, “Aren’t you relieved it’s all over now?” She assumed he’d want the season done with already so he could move on from the whole red shirt setback.

“I don’t know, I guess I should be,” he irritably shoved his hands in his pockets. He definitely wasn’t feeling relief right now though.

“Maybe it worked out for the best. Now you don’t have to end your college career on a mediocre season,” she suggested to cheer him up.

“That’s just the thing... not being part of the team let them all down. Maybe we would have had a better season if I hadn’t been such a fuck up,” Logan seemed really miserable; more so than she had ever seen him before.

“You can’t think that way, Logan. You can’t get bogged down in regrets. There’s nothing you can do now to change what’s happened, so you have to just focus on what’s ahead of you,” she tried to keep him positive. That had become her role with him more and more, unlike in their early days of training together when she tried her hardest to be entirely negative towards him.

He just shook his head though. The season-ending loss to St. Cloud State that knocked them out of the tournament was a bitter blow for his teammates; but not being there to help them get a critical win had finally hit him really hard. The Huskies last minute goal that cost the Gophers the game felt like a knife in his stomach. The scoring winger threw a shoulder fake at his defending teammate while Logan just sat on the sidelines, watching it coming from a mile away. He had been in front of that move hundreds of times and could have easily defended that shot had he been on the ice.

Meadow was obviously trying to be nice, but she didn’t understand what it was to let your whole team down. Not even the encouraging words from Coach Mike about reaching his goal weight and solidifying his chance to get back with the team had helped him feel better. It was going to be a long spring and summer ahead, during which he could easily screw up again; and that depressed him even more.

She studied the regret in his face. Geez, he looks so lean now. She couldn’t keep herself from observing that too. He was even thinner looking than when she first saw his infuriatingly cute and snarky face at those day practices. His jawline and cheekbones were clearly sharper and more defined. As gorgeous as he was now, she secretly yearned for the softer, chubby-chinned face he had back when he was closer to 300 pounds; back when she wanted to hate him. Now he was down to probably somewhere around 220? Or maybe even less? Whatever the number was, it didn’t matter. It was too late… she was in love with him regardless.

The patient and stoic approach Renate had suggested for Meadow to deal with her lovesick mental state had only made her more emotionally drained. What the hell is wrong with me? I spend years coming to terms with my preference for soft and sweet tubby guys, not muscular jocks. How could I end up in love with a buff hockey player? And he’s thoroughly oblivious too.

Logan took a deep breath and looked away, still fully immersed in his own disappointments. Meadow walked over to a bench nearby and motioned for him to sit down next to her, trying to pull his attention away from the distress he was in. He shuffled over to sit next to her, but resumed his morose stare at the arena across the street, she watched the sun glimmer down on his face, highlighting the scar along his right cheek.

Patience and stoicism totally evaporated from her mind as she saw what she loved about him that had little to do with his handsome face or his powerful body. She had fallen in love with who he really was as a person. He had so much resilience, courage and determination; not to mention his clever yet unassuming sense of humor. And at the same time, she realized that even in this lean body he now inhabited, Logan was still, undeniably, the soft guy with the sweet personality that she had always idealized as definitive boyfriend material.

Without thinking, she reached out and traced her finger lightly down the curved path of his scar. “Logan,” she asked him, “tell me how you got this.”

Momentarily shocked by her gentle touch, he instinctively put his hand on hers to keep her from feeling the exact texture of it. “Junior league... I was 16. A scrum broke out in a rough game against Hopkins. I took a high stick to the face,” he motioned his hands to show Meadow the dangerous trajectory of the hostile stick. “I was lucky it missed my eye. They put in two layers of stitches.”

Meadow gazed at him, simultaneously admiring his toughness, but also worrying about his safety.

“Do you think it’s gross?” He asked, looking away, feeling another jolt of uncertainty course through his body from her gaze. He was now being pulled from his pit of self-pity into the realization that she was solely focused on his face with an unmistakable affection in her eyes.

“No, not at all,” Meadow kept her eyes intently on him.

Panic was building in his stomach. How would he keep himself cool around her now? He glanced back at her, but she was looking at him with such intensity and concern that he had to look away again.

“These are worse,” he focused on his hands, rubbing his fingers over old scars, trying to avoid feeling what he was feeling. “I should have bought stock in the company that makes Dermabond,” he lightly chuckled to alleviate the tension.

Meadow’s hands went to his, “They’re strong, like you are,” she murmured, not being able to stop herself from connecting to his vulnerable charm. He was clearly hurting and she wanted to help him heal; she needed him to see how much success was still ahead of him.

He smiled weakly, “It’s nice you’re trying to make me feel better,” her hands on his felt more than just comforting though. She’s just being a good friend, right? That’s all this can possibly be.

“I just think you should see what I see,” she was compelled to share her honesty.

“What do you see?” He asked with apprehension, feeling that heightened level of anxiety now rumbling from his stomach into his while body.

“You’ve never had it handed to you, Logan. You’ve always had to work harder to prove yourself; to be better than what the scale said you were supposed to be… or what coaches, or teammates… or those stupid, cruel hockey fans thought you could be. That’s why you’re here, playing at this level, with a great team willing to give you another shot. You’re that good, don’t you see?” The words poured out of her mouth.

Logan was struck by the way she had so accurately described the frustrations he’d felt for as long as he’d been on skates. It was a perfect summary of all the extra work, practice drudgery, self-doubts and even the successes too. He’d never put that into words to anyone before though; no coach, no teammate … not even his parents; and certainly not any former girlfriend. He swallowed hard and looked down at the ground again to hide his emotional response to her intuitive words.

“You’re even still sticking with our Friday yoga sessions and you hate those,” she made a small joke to ease his visible uneasiness. “And, you have gotten pretty damn good at that too,” she laughed.

“It’s not that bad,” he smiled through his white lie, pushing his emotions back under his well-trained thick skin. He still thought yoga was annoying but he could see how it might have been helping him loosen up the chronic tightness he’d always felt in his back and hips.

“See? You’re amazing,” she tried to laugh, but felt her throat clench up.

Logan looked back into her affectionate eyes, overwhelmed by his clear feelings for her. I can’t kiss her, she’ll push me away; it will ruin everything.
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Old 09-28-2016, 07:35 AM   #52
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She put her hand back on his scarred cheek. I have to kiss him, I can’t hold back any longer. She guided his face to hers and gave him a soft kiss.

Logan felt his muscles go from rigid to mush as her lips grazed his lips, and her fingers browsed along his chest to his arm and shoulder. He had thought many times about what it would be like to take ahold of her with aggression and lust… but now he was made powerless by the way her hands felt on his body, and her lips on his.

She’s kissing me… and touching me like she wants me… His senses went into overload, as her little hands brushed along his back. The sweet citrus scent in her hair and the faint hint of pleasure coming from her mouth made him feel hypnotized. He had tried so hard to stop himself from imagining this moment, that he was easily lost in it. All the negativity just flew out of his body with this physical connection.

But then, one of Meadow’s hands landed on his side, grabbing ahold of the exact spot where his love handles always settled in, jerking him back to reality. It was that same place she grabbed onto him at Lake of the Isles. As quickly as his pessimism had dissipated, it returned right back into his head.

Renate had planted the seeds in his head about facing his future in their honest conversations about his weight, suggesting what he knew deep down to be true. Having lived in his body for almost 23 years, and fighting it every single day, since as far back as he could remember, he knew he would get fat again. Maybe a year from now, or maybe even longer, if his body would even allow it. But without serious daily training, he would eventually grow back into that 300 pound chubster he was last fall, or possibly even bigger. If Meadow stuck around long enough, he would become completely unacceptable to her strict hard body criteria. He withdrew from her, reminded of the inevitable.

“What is it Logan?” Her throat clamped up again, but this time with dread, as he apprehensively pulled away. A wave if regret washed over her. Now he’s going to deliver on the rejection that I had always wanted to avoid in the first place.

“Meadow, I like you... a lot.” How could he explain his big, fat, pathetic fate to her without mortifying himself?

“But not that way...” she looked down, sick inside. I should have never kissed him. He’s doesn’t feel the same way. I’m such an idiot.

“No,” he put his hand gently on her shoulder, wanting to take away the hurt that was so clearly covering her face. “I mean, yes, I do like you… that way,” he revealed and smiled gently to reassure her. “I’m just not sure what’s going to happen to me...”

“None of us know what’s going to happen in the future,” she exhaled in frustration with a side of relief. He likes me? Really? That way?

“Maybe,” he started with a pause, but then began to confess his fears. “Maybe I look good to you now, but I may not stay this way. I can’t play forever... I love the game, the competition, and winning,” he half-smiled. “But I also know I want to keep all my teeth, my hips, my back, my brain... Without constant training though, I don’t know what will happen to my body either,” he covered his middle with crossed arms, “but you probably won’t like it.”

His cautionary words were the same as Renate’s had been to Meadow, as if they were both conspiring to keep her from appreciating him as a person, not to mention his wonderful, amazing and sexy tendency to be heavy.

“Logan, you don’t understand,” she stopped him with her own gentle smile. She was now actually a little relieved that his objection to her romantic overtures was based on his weight insecurities, and that he really did like her. But his words, ‘maybe I look good to you now,’ thoroughly sliced into her.

What more was there to understand? Logan pulled his crossed arms more tightly into his body with a grimace. He had plenty of experience with what girls didn’t want... like Abbey, who only showed interest in him once he had slimmed down. And Emily, who became antagonistic once more weight piled on. Even back to being a kid, the way his sister’s friends laughed along when she teased him, calling him fat names... he’d never been fully able to escape the taunting that sometimes still echoed in his head: Lardass… Porky… Cake eater.

Meadow could see his pain and was kicking herself for having been so unkind to him in the past. She knew she had to explain her earlier behavior. “I’ll admit, when we first met, I didn’t like you, and I didn’t want to like you,” she started.

He nodded with a smirk, relieved to hear her admit as much. He wasn’t crazy back then. She had definitely intended to be ice cold to him.

“But I was still attracted to you,” she felt her face getting hotter and took a deep breath. “And it made me crazy, because I didn’t want to like a smug hockey player.”

“Meadow,” Logan shook his head, wondering if she even still remembered how big he was back in September. “I was really overweight... the biggest I’d ever been, and red-shirted. My ego was decimated. I was so not smug. How on earth could you have seen anything but weakness in me?”

“I’m telling you that I was very attracted to you, Logan,” but she still saw doubt in his face. She paused and took another deep breath. “I like big... or well, you know, some meat, on a guy,” she nervously pulled her shoulders inward, groping for words that wouldn’t make him uncomfortable. She was feeling flushed admitting her feelings to him, and didn’t want him to think she was weird for liking what she liked. “But getting to know you… who you really are, as a person; that’s what made me feel this way about you.”

“What way about me?” He was still analyzing her words, trying to figure out if she was really saying what she was saying.

“The way that makes me want to kiss you,” she softly smiled. I can’t tell him I love him yet, he might fully freak out.

“And if I screw up again? You’ve seen me fat, Meadow, it wasn’t good,” he felt compelled to warn her again.

“It was good,” she blurted in defense of his chubbiness, but her blushing wouldn’t subside. She stroked her hand along his arm to try and reassure him, “it’s all good with you.”

“I just don’t get it, Meadow. You’ve been training hard with me for months to get me in shape.” He was really confused as her words certainly didn’t match up with her actions. When I was fat, she was indifferent, even hostile. Now I’m pretty much cut, and she’s kissing me. It doesn’t add up. “The other day, Coach told me not to get too thin; and now you tell me you liked me when I was fat? Can’t you see how I might feel like I’ve officially gone crazy?”

“Logan, I’m saying that I just want you to be you,” she tried to explain more. “I want you to be successful and achieve everything you want in hockey, or in whatever you do in life... but I also want you to be comfortable with yourself... and eat whatever or however much your body says it needs, and not have a gun to your head based on whatever number shows up on the scale... and just be healthy and happy.”

“That’s a lot of things to want, Meadow,” he smiled skeptically at her well-intended list, “and they don’t all work together for me.”

“Well maybe not all at the same time,” she tried to clarify her reassurances. “We’ve done well together in training, and I’d like to be there for you to keep it up as long as you need to, or change it up as your goals change. But if…or when you’re done with all of it, I’d also love your body if it went wherever it naturally wants to,” she smiled contritely and moved her hand to his leg, stopping short of putting it back on his torso.

“Like back up near 300? And what if it gets worse than that?” The cynicism in his face turned into more of a fearful look.

“I don’t consider more than 300 a worse thing,” a coy smile spread across her face, remembering the sexy belly roll, chubby love handles and soft but perky chest mounds that he sported around his body last year, making her even more aware of the vibrant feelings brewing inside her thighs.

“You seriously wouldn’t be appalled?” He looked unconvinced.

“No,” she shook her head and grinned more widely. “Not in the slightest.”

“How can you be a personal trainer who happens to be on the verge of making the Olympic team, and still be okay with…?”

“Because my work and my goals have nothing to do with what I think is sexy,” she cut him off growing impatient with his skepticism, groping for confidence in her position.

“Sexy?” He now smiled with a mischievous curiosity on his face.

“Yeah,” she grinned, finally owning it.

“So are you... like... less attracted to me now that I’m... not… fat?” He rubbed his firm middle and smirked, asking as if it were still all a big joke.

“No, it’s not binary with you, Logan. I think you’re amazing however you are. I just also happen to think a big, soft belly is also really darn cute on the right guy,” she blushed beet red again.

“Am I the right guy?” He asked without even thinking. This was the most bizarre conversation that he never, ever expected to have with her.

“Yes Logan,” she was exasperated, “of course you are... the right guy.”

His eyes grew wide, while his heart jumped in his chest. He moved into her space, cupped her chin in his hand and kissed her intensely, as he’d wanted to do for so long; longer than he’d even realized himself.

Meadow melted in his arms. Every last crystal of ice that she tried so hard to keep frozen in her heart was entirely dissolved by Logan’s accepting embrace and warm kiss.
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Old 09-28-2016, 08:05 AM   #53
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Daaaawwwww!
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Old 09-28-2016, 09:06 AM   #54
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So sweeet! Now please skip couple of years and let's all enjoy fat Logan again!
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Old 09-28-2016, 12:05 PM   #55
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Beautifully written Ashley!
Your portrayal of turning an over-time developped familiarity into intimacy is truly compelling.

Although I don't care much for abrupt '10 years later'-endings, Anjula's suggestion does have a certain appeal ...
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Old 09-28-2016, 12:53 PM   #56
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Quote:
Originally Posted by agouderia View Post
Beautifully written Ashley!
Your portrayal of turning an over-time developped familiarity into intimacy is truly compelling.

Although I don't care much for abrupt '10 years later'-endings, Anjula's suggestion does have a certain appeal ...
Agreed!!!!!!
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Old 10-12-2016, 11:37 AM   #57
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So wonderful, that last chapter!
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Old 10-14-2016, 03:25 PM   #58
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I LOVE this story!
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Old 10-28-2016, 03:15 PM   #59
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This is wonderful! Beautifully written and so much fun! I definitely vote for ten years later too
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Old 11-17-2016, 03:01 PM   #60
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Well, what started as an epilogue-ish ending has evolved into a lengthy chapter of its own, with Meadow and Logan’s relationship unfolding in little vignettes of intimacy over the early months/years. I just really love these two and wasn’t ready to let them go off together with just a few simple paragraphs - they’re just so damn made for each other despite the fact that they couldn’t stand each other at first (in all its pride-n-prej tropiness, lol).

But I really don’t think I can give a ‘10 years later’ treatment any justice... although that suggestion couldn’t help but make me think mushy thoughts of Logan as a very fat and super-hot dad teaching his little girl proper stick handling while Meadow firmly coaches her on starting and crossover drills... a little too cute though, even for me, so, spoiler alert: I don’t see this going that far into the future, but you just know how freakin’ gorgeous he’d look in his wedding tux ;-)

I can say I felt oddly fortunate to have had some of this little story left to distract myself over the last several days. If it helps anyone else escape a bit, if only for a few minutes, then totally worth the effort.

Anyhow, here’s the first bit of the last chapter. I’m still working on the rest for you wonderful, patient readers
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Old 11-17-2016, 03:03 PM   #61
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Part 7: Logan & Meadow

“I’ve been wondering about this... fat thing of yours,” Logan rolled over to face Meadow on his side, supporting his head in his hand. His plan to join her for training in Milwaukee had turned him into a regular overnight guest at the tiny apartment she sublet for the summer.

She blushed and looked down. Oh boy, his ‘fat thing’ questions again, she sighed to herself and brought her eyes back up to his. “What?” she questioned with teasing impatience. Ever since their friendship had morphed into a romantic relationship, when she made her inclinations a little more known to him, he’d been nudging her with his curiosity about it. Logan seemed to be on a mission to unpack her fat baggage, one needed reassurance at a time.

“Would you really still want me, if I were like... completely obese?” He was fixed on her eyes, not wanting to let her weasel around it again with a joke or some generic unconditional support. He had been so baffled by what Meadow shared with him, that he felt like he had to understand if it was even possible. Are there really women who like it when guys get chubby? Or even fatter? It was entirely foreign to him.

“Oh Logan,” she smiled and touched his innocently inquisitive face. “You’ve been Googling again,” she let out a sympathetic laugh and then kissed him on the cheek. “I meant it when I said that I don’t want you to be anything other than just be you.” Her murkier desires did yearn for the return of his tubbiness, and all this talk about it was making her feel wiggly inside, but she really did truly and honestly love him in whatever package he happened to be in at the moment.

While Logan had pushed her for more details about her preferences, she pushed back too, asking him about his own. Was he attracted to her mesomorphic body type or did he like something softer too? “A lot of guys like curves,” she had reasoned to him, knowing big boobs and hourglass hips were not qualities she could offer him if his desires were as particular as her own were.

But Logan had already reassured her that he loved her body, and had always admired the impressive amount of power she packed into her relatively small figure. She was built for speed and her whole form was so rare in definition, ability and purpose; he hadn’t stopped telling her how much that turned him on too. He may have found curves enticing and lovely on some girls, but he hadn’t ever really been about specific body types anyway. His real Achilles heel was a strong, beautiful woman with intense, piercing eyes. Meadow was just that kind of girl, mesmerizing him from the first time he saw her stunning face angrily glare right back into his own defensively smug facade.

“What if you change your mind; then you decide I’m... or, well, it’s too much... too gross...” He was still trying to figure out if she was just being nice; and maybe she really had no idea how vulnerable he was to someday becoming seriously and uncontrollably fat.

“No, Logan, I've always been open minded, about... bodies,” she tried to be diplomatic about his current shape versus his persistent fat angst. “At least since I started noticing boys,” she gave him a sneaky smile, alluding to her early feelings for plump bellies; feelings that had over time evolved into full on desire for total body corpulence.

“So your boyfriends were all fat guys? Seriously?” He gave her a disbelieving look.

“I never really had boyfriends,” she admitted. “I never had time, I was always training.”

“You've never had a single boyfriend before me? I find that hard to believe,” he smirked. Logan thought Meadow seemed experienced enough as they had become more physically intimate, anyway. Although, he did at one time question what guy in his right mind would put up with her difficult personality. A lot of guys would have definitely been scared off, he laughed to himself.

“Well, I did have one boyfriend in college and he was chubby, so there,” she giggled through her blushing.

“You are so totally the opposite of who I thought you were the first time I saw you,” he now laughed out loud with her.

“I can say the same thing about you, Mr. Conceited Hockey Jock,” she lightly patted his cheek, still grinning.

Undaunted by her teasing, he continued the line of questioning. “What if,” he blushed and thought for a moment. “I mean, I know I can’t really... be, like...chubby for you...right now...” he fumbled for the right words to express a sexy idea he thought might appease his girlfriend’s unique interests.

“Logan, you don’t have to agonize over this,” she still felt a little embarrassed by his uneasiness and ran her hand along his firm body in reassurance that she was fine with his current physique. His attentive charms and admiring whispers had already won her over the first time they made love at her little apartment back in Minneapolis. She had always presumed that overhyped, self-centered jocks would also naturally be entitled, selfish beasts in the sack. Not Logan though, he wasn’t like that... he was entirely focused on Meadow, making sure she was cared for and satisfied.

She was actually surprised over how nice he felt on top of her. A hard body enveloping hers hadn’t been anything she’d ever imagined for herself, but she found that she could enjoy his weight and strength bearing down on her, along with his loving eyes and adoring lips. Being with him was a pleasant revelation, discovering that his leaner, angular body contours were somehow softened by his smooth deference and nuanced touch.

Logan was amazed himself by how willing yet submissive Meadow was in bed. He had seen hints of it before in those confused moments when he wasn’t sure how to read her ever changing moods and vague body language. Her personality had been so cold and distant at first, sometimes being with her now almost felt surreal. Even over the months as he had gotten to know her more, he witnessed her confident, bossier side along with some playful bravado. Considering how much she didn’t like him at first, and how hard she was to get to know, he was astounded by how much safer he felt in her arms than with any other girl he’d ever been with. In bed she became all tenderness and accommodation, and always seemed glowing and contented afterwards. He loved being with her, but he also couldn’t help but wonder where that feisty tiger was hiding?

Meadow knew where... she hadn’t completely set aside her craving for a bigger, softer, and rounder experience. Fleeting thoughts of Logan’s fatter form were never too far from her mind. She profoundly missed those plump and luscious love handles, which were down to a nearly undetectable sliver, having given way to hardened and defined obliques.

A self-imposed guilt dowsed these repressed feelings, but she couldn’t change them. The idea that she might coax out some aggressive animal instincts someday, once he put back on all those lost pounds, was so delicious. Perhaps if, or when his body became softer, she might enjoy a hefty, dominant brute plunging himself into her with reckless abandon. It was too hot not to imagine.

Those thoughts were put neatly away for him, though. She was acutely aware that he faced the biggest athletic pressure of his life, and she certainly wasn’t going to worry him with too much honesty over how she fantasized about the sexy chub that blanketed his body the year before; or heaven forbid, how curious she was about whether he might someday gain well beyond that size. Those desires would just have to be kept locked down, with faith that his naturally thick body would eventually find him again, and expand into her patiently waiting arms.

“Meadow, let me ask... I checked out some of this fat stuff online,” he looked away for a moment, slightly embarrassed himself. He had seen it all, really. Women who were excited by hugely fat guys; women who wanted to make them fatter; feed them... cram food into their mouths until their bellies were overstuffed. It was kind of fascinating, yet also terrifying. How very easy would it be for Logan to be talked into relaxing his diet and indulging? Is Meadow into that kind of thing too?

“Okay,” she tried to be patient with him while hoping to avoid talking about the more athletically sacrilegious aspects of her flab fixation. It wasn’t so much shame that she felt, but she had conflicted feelings about the feeding and gaining aspects of her more deviant fantasies. She never wanted him to feel any more stressed than he already was about his body; he certainly had more than enough of that from every other corner of his life.

“What if we just pretended, or like... well, you could feed me, or whatever, if that turned you on,” he still struggled to find the right words for his proposal, turning even redder. He’d been thinking about this for a few weeks now. If she liked him chubby, maybe she liked the feeding stuff too? He really wanted her to be sexually satisfied, and this could be a way to make her even happier? Logan was in the best shape of his life, which helped his self-confidence in general, but he was also reminded how different Meadow seemed to be than other girls he’d known on the whole weight thing.

“You have been researching,” she laughed and playfully patted his butt.

“Seriously, Meadow,” Logan pulled her nude body close to his and rolled over to hover on top of her, emphasizing his resolve. “I could eat something fattening for you, you know, like, maybe in bed?” he brushed his hand up her waist, flirtatiously looked intently in her eyes and licked his lips, “Would you like something like that?”

She was already aroused by all the fat talk, but the combination of his dominant position along with his open willingness to please her was making her even more excited... Would I like something like that? Oh would I ever...

Logan was so cute and innocently sexy about it; and it was a tempting idea. She couldn’t deny that she would be open to trying a feeding experience, especially since she wasn’t going to have any tangible, fleshy, sensual chub to get lost in anytime soon. But she didn’t want him to jeopardize anything with his hockey career just so she could have a more intense orgasm.

“You have to be careful right now,” Meadow cautioned him sensibly, not yet consenting to the idea. “Camp starts in less than three weeks.”

“I’d run it off,” he already had it planned out. “It would be worth the extra time around the track to see you get more turned on,” he stroked her hair and kissed her forehead, convinced that this could be another pathway to an even deeper physical connection.

Logan felt comfortable that if he splurged in a planned and conscientious way it wouldn’t turn into a spiral of rampant, out of control heavy eating. He still found it strange that Meadow, of all people, might enjoy the sin of dietary indulgence, and yet also be the one to help him stay fit, but it was finally sinking into his brain that this was an actual ‘thing’ for her.

She sighed and smiled, already relenting to his enthusiasm. With his weight down and his hip healthy, he was now running regularly for extra caloric burn. On hot days, he’d work with Meadow doing speed intervals around the indoor running track at the rink. They also got away from the rink and the gym to cross-train outdoors, cycling hills and inline skating on local trails. Meadow normally didn’t love summer’s heat, but with Logan she was enjoying the time with him, rather than hiding alone inside the rink all summer like she used to. It seemed like everything was easier and more interesting with Logan there beside her.

Renate had been right; having him around during her summer training ended up being a perfect plan. Even though they were having some fun, the competitiveness between them hadn’t waned with the onset of their romantic relationship. Meadow saw how much Logan had brought out the best in her, as she seemed to do for him. But more than that, she was savoring the quality time that she could spend with him before she knew they would be apart for many weeks at a time in the fall.

She also loved watching how much athleticism Logan gave every activity; he was totally ready for anything physically. It was really sexy to see his body confidence grow over time, if not his body size. He had always been strong and completely capable, even at his chubbiest; but she was convinced that his head was more to blame than his body for the difference in his athletic enthusiasm and self-assurance. She desperately hoped that he wouldn’t lose that confidence should he put it all back on again. A lifetime of being told he wasn’t as talented or desirable with those extra pounds was a hard mindset to shake. That’s why he belongs with me, she smiled inside herself. I’m here to defend him against that kind of mental garbage.

“So, what do you think?” He pressed her seriously and intently, clearly eager for her approval of his sexy dessert idea.

“I think I love you,” she giggled and brushed his hair away from his eyes. She had to laugh at how romantic of a gesture it was that he was willing to spend extra time around the track just to appease her fetishy side.

“Maybe we do it on Wednesday afternoon,” he rolled over with his brawny arms behind his head, looking up at the ceiling, thinking very pragmatically about the whole plan. “That fits between the long track workouts with Renate, and before weekend hockey practice,” he adorably calculated it into their regular regimen. With Coach Mike’s connections, Logan had been working out on Fridays and Saturdays with the local AHL Admirals training camp sessions, prepping for the rhythm of returning to the NCAA schedule.

“Maybe you can just get yourself back up against me and kiss me,” Meadow loved his determination, even as it related to sexually satisfying her. How could she not look forward to feeding him his favorite summertime dessert: a hot fudge and butterscotch sundae, in her bed, while watching his eyes fill with pleasure and satisfaction?

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Old 11-17-2016, 10:11 PM   #62
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ashblonde View Post
Well, what started as an epilogue-ish ending has evolved into a lengthy chapter of its own, with Meadow and Logan’s relationship unfolding in little vignettes of intimacy over the early months/years. I just really love these two and wasn’t ready to let them go off together with just a few simple paragraphs - they’re just so damn made for each other despite the fact that they couldn’t stand each other at first (in all its pride-n-prej tropiness, lol).

But I really don’t think I can give a ‘10 years later’ treatment any justice... although that suggestion couldn’t help but make me think mushy thoughts of Logan as a very fat and super-hot dad teaching his little girl proper stick handling while Meadow firmly coaches her on starting and crossover drills... a little too cute though, even for me, so, spoiler alert: I don’t see this going that far into the future, but you just know how freakin’ gorgeous he’d look in his wedding tux ;-)

I can say I felt oddly fortunate to have had some of this little story left to distract myself over the last several days. If it helps anyone else escape a bit, if only for a few minutes, then totally worth the effort.

Anyhow, here’s the first bit of the last chapter. I’m still working on the rest for you wonderful, patient readers
I haven't read the chapter yet but I can assure you, it gives me much needed escape from reality. Those few minutes are what I'm looking for everyday(unfortunately can't get them everyday but it's good, only makes its better when I can finally read a new chapter) so your hard work is totally appreciated.

You're a wonderful writer, I have your website bookmarked and every time I need some distractions from reality I'm rereading old stories.

Thank you very much for everything
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Old 11-18-2016, 06:50 AM   #63
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Hot damn. Well, shoot, my brain is wandering for the rest of the day...
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Old 11-20-2016, 08:11 PM   #64
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So Logan is researching? And Meadow is furiously balancing, both love and sex and care and concern and competitiveness?

Your chapters just draw me in so well - I love them! And after each new one, I have to go back and read over the ones before as well.

I just love this story. Part of me thinks publishing it might even work.
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Old 11-20-2016, 10:24 PM   #65
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If you published this I would SO buy a copy!
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Old 11-21-2016, 02:34 PM   #66
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Aw, thanks again guys

I have an open source philosophy with my FFA-BHM writings though, so I don't see a book deal in my future, lol. I just enjoy writing and putting it out there. And maybe somewhere along the line it may help those still figuring out their feelings about liking fat, or being fat - and of course I do it for those of you who already get it and just enjoy the guilty pleasure of some sappy ol' romance.

I wanted to get this next bit posted sooner after the last, but the weekend got away from me. The good news, I did get some ice skating in and totally channeled my inner Meadow.
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Old 11-21-2016, 02:37 PM   #67
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Logan texted Meadow a link to a Star Tribune story covering a Roseville Oval fundraiser they had attended together on New Year’s Eve, right before she left for World Cup qualifications in Salt Lake City. She clicked and scrolled down, finding a picture of the two of them nested in the text. The photo was captioned, Returning after his red shirt season, Gopher Defenseman Logan Hansen poses with Olympic speed skating hopeful Meadow Rossi. She studied the photo... Logan looked happy, self-assured and gorgeous; she just looked annoyed.

Despite his media wariness and her generally solitary nature, they couldn’t altogether avoid some publicity and gossip with the way their prospects were evolving. Logan’s re-emergence as a key performer with a Division I hockey powerhouse, along with Meadow’s rising star on the US team, earned them both some public chatter about their status as a hot new item.

She immediately called him. “I look kind of bitchy,” she muttered, hoping Logan would reassure her she didn’t really look that bitchy. Meadow had always hated smiling for photos. Posing never felt natural to her. She liked what the camera could capture in her performances so much more.

“You agreed to be in the shot with me,” he reminded her with a small laugh. Her expression did look a little impatient, but that wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for her... Do I really need to tell her that she still looks like the prettiest girl on the planet?

“I did it for you,” she softened her tone, reminding him that he was definitely more of a local sports celebrity than she was. Plus, there was that other calculating reason she had joined Logan for the photo... douchebag Eric was also there. He was obviously watching them together, so she may have gone a little overboard with flaunting their relationship with some public affection too. She knew it was petty, but showing off that happy togetherness with Logan felt like karmic payback for the shitty way that Eric had treated him the year before.

“You look beautiful as always,” Logan let his honesty come out, but he was also a little scolding too. She certainly never needed any extra ego boost about her looks, but he couldn’t help but tell her anyway. As far as his own image was concerned, he was just relieved not to see a picture of himself with a double chin forming under his smile. He didn’t say that part out loud to Meadow though, as she had different views when the topic of his former chubbiness came up.

“It helps to be standing next to the hottest defenseman in the Big Ten,” she threw some flattering praise back at him.

“You’re going to have to get used to the attention, you know,” he reminded her of the public nature of what she was getting herself into.

“So I’m going to be a hockey WAG now, right?” She rolled her eyes at the thought of hanging around those dopey fake tanned and heavily made up puck bunnies who only lived through their boyfriends’ fame and glory. Still, she was willing to be part of the public aspects of his life when it seemed to help his confidence. They hadn’t really talked about major commitments, but she already recognized that he was the kind of guy who craved the security and structure of a relationship. Once again, Logan proved to be pretty much the opposite of her prior assumptions that all hockey guys were all arrogant players who only wanted one thing.

“You’re no WAG Meadow,” he burst out laughing at the ridiculous idea of her sitting for hours watching his practices, or getting all dolled up for his games. “You’re going to be the celebrity. Once the Olympic hype machine starts rolling next year, you’ll be featured in all those ‘hot athlete’ articles. They’ll probably make you flex your abs for the ‘ESPN Body’ issue too,” he teased her more.

“Shut up,” she laughed along but also cringed a little. Meadow never wanted her looks to eclipse her abilities, or to become more of a sex object than a respected athlete; that was downright infuriating given all the hard work she’d given her sport.

“You’ll be click bait, just wait and see,” he warned her playfully, but seriously. Logan was convinced that she was going to get more notice than average for a US team athlete and was trying to prepare her for the inevitability. She didn’t just have the looks; she had the Olympic family story angle, not to mention the cool composure that the sports media machine craves. She acted like that stuff didn’t matter, but Logan could see that she was destined for it.

Logan himself had still tried to keep a fairly low profile, despite the increasing buzz around the team’s winning record. Coach Mike, his dad and Meadow were all voices encouraging him to market himself more for pro scouting, but he had an innate aversion to any spotlight shining too brightly on his image, having been dragged through a very traumatic side of it. Most scouts were already familiar with his roller coaster weight history; and even though he had physically gotten past it many months ago, all of it was delved up again in stories related to his return to the team roster. His reputation as a player who couldn’t keep his weight under control was something he believed he’d never truly get past anyway, so better to just ignore it altogether.

He focused instead on what was happening for him right now. The Gophers had just pulled off two more big victories in the Mariucci Classic, which was an emotional and bittersweet tournament for him, being his last. Growing up, he had great memories of his Dad taking him to so many of those games. They were formative experiences that fueled his hockey dreams and kept him driven to get better, in spite of the deck that always felt was stacked against him. He never forgot his Dad’s arm around him, talking him through all the rules, the strategies and complexities of hockey so that he could learn the game better and ultimately fall in love with it. But he also remembered so vividly and fondly, his father reassuring him, You don’t have to be skinny to skate, son.

“You were fantastic last night,” Meadow changed the subject to the reason she had really wanted to talk to him. She had been streaming his games online from her crappy motel room outside of Salt Lake City. “Your tread was always great, but your rotational power keeps getting even better; the way you’ve been getting the puck across the ice lately, wow,” she gushed.

“Thanks,” he beamed while adjusting an ice pack perched on his badly-bruised arm. One of the many things he loved about his girlfriend was her skating smarts; she knew his technique these days almost better than he did himself. He was still feeling pretty amazing after the huge win against Harvard, making a crucial assist near the end of the third period that helped the Gophers secure their 3-2 final score.

“I think it’s the Pilates and medicine ball reps I made you keep doing all summer,” she reminded him.

“You’re my secret weapon,” he wistfully rubbed his hand along his muscular torso, missing her touch all the more.

Meadow loved when he called her that; it made her feel special in a way she had never quite felt before. She had accomplished a lot for herself, and on her own terms; but it was a new feeling to be part of something more with someone who could see beyond the hard façade she had usually projected out to the world. Those affectionate words told her that Logan found more value in her than her looks or what her body could do on the ice. He viewed her like, maybe a partner?

“I talked to my dad this morning and all he wanted to talk about was you,” she was relieved that her father managed to be okay with his daughter having a boyfriend; her personal life wasn’t something she was used to sharing with her parents and her dad was not easily won over by anyone. “He’s ridiculously excited about your season. My parents are thinking about driving down to Duluth to catch a game when you play there in February.”

“That’s awesome,” he grinned with pride. “My folks usually drive up for the Duluth games, maybe they can finally meet each other... I can introduce them.”

He had just met her parents for the first time over the holidays. Logan and Meadow traveled together up North right before Christmas to enjoy a few days of resort living before getting back to their respective practices and competitions. He was relieved that her parents were so nice to him, having been pretty nervous about it after Renate warned of their serious and protective nature when it came to their only child. Not to mention, he was also unsure how they’d view some common Minnesota kid dating their gifted and cultured daughter. But Paolo and Marien turned out to be very warm and altogether accepting of him as Meadow’s boyfriend. Of course it probably helped that he was also an athlete who could talk hockey for hours with her dad.

Unfortunately, his coaches had explicitly banned him from any risky activities that could aggravate his hip, so there was no snowboarding or downhill skiing allowed. Meadow did keep him busy anyway, dragging him out on her favorite cross-country trails. They also got some training time in together at a local rink; and she loved horsing around with him in the pool every afternoon before dinner. Their best getaway moments, though, were the romantic evenings they enjoyed each other in a tangled bliss, hiding out in her little guest room at the lodge.

To make things easier on Logan, Meadow had instructed her parents ahead of time to make sure there were no holiday treats laying around while they visited. She was on a brief break from her winter competition schedule, so she didn’t need the temptations herself. But more than that, she was trying to be sensitive to his ever nagging appetite and the intense scrutiny on him to maintain his weight. As soon as they arrived, Meadow took him to the grocery store to stock up on fresh fruits, vegetables, lean proteins and whole grains so they could make their own meals and stay away from the usual rich and decadent resort food.

Logan smiled to himself thinking about it, remembering her playful teasing while they perused the produce area. “It won’t always be like this,” she winked at him knowingly while poking his midsection with a bundle of kale and tossing it in the cart.

“What do you mean?” At first he was genuinely confused about what she was talking about.

“Someday I’ll also buy you desserts,” she caressed her hand along his firm chest, reminding him of the fantastic frozen custard-fueled sex they had shared the summer before. Logan had witnessed a glimpse into Meadow’s more sexually dominant side while the sweet, creamy, melting ice cream flowed down his throat.

“You’ll wait for me?” he smiled, alluding to their growing flirtation over Meadow’s postponed fetish fulfilment.

“I’m very patient,” her fingers trailed from his chest down his toned middle while she seductively looked into his eyes.

He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “You’ll really fatten me up?” knowing that those words and his playfully suspicious eyes would really turn her on.

She gave him a desirous smile that still sent shivers down his spine now, just remembering her eyes and her words... “If you’ll insist,” she deadpanned.

Now, with that relaxing yet short vacation behind them, they flirted with each other from a thousand miles away. Logan’s hand felt along his abs once again, as if to check and make sure he was still lean and hadn’t chubbed up a little just from the sound of her voice and thoughts of that decadent dessert foreplay she loved teasing him about so much. He was gearing up for the most important stretch of games he’d ever played in his life and felt like his team had a real shot at scorching the rest of the Big Ten.

“I can’t wait to see you next Friday,” he told Meadow wistfully. She was going to be back in the Twin Cities for a few days to see him play in a couple of critical conference games against Penn State before leaving with Renate to resume her World Cup schedule overseas.

“Neither can I,” she murmured. “Stay healthy.”

“I miss training with you,” he told her, truly missing her comforting smile along with her warm body.

“I miss other things with you,” Meadow dropped her voice to a lower octave. She couldn’t help but make him crazy while waiting for their next rendezvous. She hoped those words gave him the same delicious longing that she had been keeping nested further inside her own body. While they would wait a few weeks here and there in between sexually satisfying liaisons, Meadow knew she would wait a bit longer for a different kind of gratification; the kind where Logan’s physique would eventually give into its true nature. The mantra that had played in her head her whole life was there for her again, Good things come to those who wait...

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Old 11-22-2016, 08:59 AM   #68
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Lovely! 😌😌😌
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Old 11-22-2016, 09:14 AM   #69
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*melts with a happy sigh*
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Old 11-27-2016, 03:48 PM   #70
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Just when I think your writing could not get better, it does. Those last two paragraphs so perfectly encapsulate Logan and Meadow's relationship!
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Old 12-22-2016, 01:37 PM   #71
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“How does it feel?” Meadow sat down next to Logan on his bed. She lifted up his ice pack and gently touched the muscles and tendons along his lower torso; then she studied further down the front of his thigh to inspect the tender condition of his latest injury.

“My hip or my fat?” He smirked, referring to the 20 pounds he’d put on since the end of his college career. Like always, the initial progression of gain was barely noticeable. Only a little crept on in the weeks between his life as a Gopher and his first pro contract with the Quad City Mallards, an ECHL team that actively recruited him once his NCAA season ended. That first bit of weight hardly felt like anything at all, and a tough training camp kept his body in check from further gain for a while. But once he got into the drudgery of a minor league schedule, with the irregular games and erratic travel, some of his old eating habits were sneaking back into his diet. It was inevitable that more weight would steadily pack itself onto his frame over the course of time; it always had a way of snowballing like this...

“Your hip, you idiot,” Meadow half-laughed, and half-insisted. Of course she was interested in the slight but cute new morsels of chub that softened along the sides of his waistline, but his injury mattered the most right now. She had been streaming the game online the night before when she witnessed the rough body check that sent Logan out of the game, and sent her into panic mode.

At her texted insistence, he called her at midnight to reassure her that he was okay, but Meadow still sensed something wasn’t right with him. Tossing and turning all night, she was totally unable to sleep. At five in the morning she threw off her sheets in a huff, pulled herself together and left from Milwaukee to make the three hour trip down to the Quad Cities to see him for herself.

Anxiousness had consumed her thoughts throughout the tedious drive to his sparsely furnished month-to-month apartment in Davenport; it didn’t help that a spring thunderstorm downpour made the long stretch of flat Illinois farmland even more miserable. Her nerves were frazzled enough by lack of sleep and bad weather; but mostly it was her worry for Logan’s wonderful, gifted body.

Logan was anxious himself about sharing with her what had really happened to him out on the ice during that game. He was used to the typical bodily punishment of hockey, but he knew this latest hit took him both physically and emotionally into a much more uncomfortable place, and his heart was unwilling to go along for the ride.

Logan never pretended that hockey meant a big money future, and had always understood that reality very clearly. He may have been a talented player with a reputation for his smarts and natural skating skill; Coach Mike had seen that potential when he recruited him from the regional collection of suburban hockey jocks vying for an NCAA scholarship. He wasn’t NHL on paper though, with his ‘average tall’ height and always uncertain weight; and he wasn’t proven in the speed and physicality demanded by the highest level of the professional game either. It didn’t surprise anyone that he would remain an undrafted free agent. Coach Mike had long prepared Logan for a less than glamorous career cutting his teeth in the minors. From his early days as a Gopher the message was loud and clear: Get as far as you can with it, Logan. But was this as far as he could get himself to go?

Like always, Logan would have to work that much harder to prove himself if he wanted any kind of career beyond college. He had been trying to do just that in the Quad Cities, performing well and receiving growing notice from the local fan base. After a few months of getting used to the pro game and showing his worth, he earned a promotion to the team’s AHL affiliate in Des Moines. He briefly entertained the notion that he could push himself harder, and maybe even get sent up to their NHL partner, the Minnesota Wild, his dream team back home in Minneapolis.

That dream was quickly cut short in early February when he suffered a hamstring strain that benched him and ultimately sent him back down to the Mallards to rehab and re-prove his professional value. Added to that injury, the disruption of moving back and forth between Davenport and Des Moines was really messing with his routine. It didn’t take long for him to put on a few additional pounds, accompanied by concerned comments from his conditioning coach. He was growing more miserable, missing the stability he used to have with the Gophers; the camaraderie of his college teammates; and probably most of all... his loving and supportive girlfriend.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at your strategy clinic?” He questioned her with a smile, trying to deflect her concerns.

“We finished the important stuff yesterday,” she waved him off, undeterred by his attempt to distract her from her laser focus on his pained situation. “Let’s talk about your injury.”

“My hip is the least of my problems,” he sighed, not wanting to fully admit to the amount of pain his whole flexor region was really in, so she didn’t worry even more. But he knew he had to tell her the rest of the news, fully aware that she would freak out more if she found out by reading about his injury status online. “The hit was hard enough to get my bell rung...”

“What?” Meadow’s heart lurched into her throat. She knew he was talking about a concussion. No wonder he seemed kind of foggy when we talked last night, damn him!

He sighed, not wanting her to worry. I’m going to have to talk her down from this one. “They put me into the protocol... it wasn’t a big blackout or anything, I just saw a few stars. I was a little too slow getting up so they pulled me out of the game. I’ll be okay Meadow, really.”

“For now, you think you’re okay.” With this news, she was more worried for his incredible, brilliant brain than his hockey body.

“Meadow, I know,” he tried to explain.

“What are they saying?” She demanded he share his prognosis.

“That I should be back to practice in a few days. And that I need to get back on the bike too when my hip cooperates,” he patted his emerging hint of a belly, referring to that damn archaic method of penalizing the fat guy.

She looked terrified, though, clearly more concerned for his head than his weight. “I hate hockey and their lax concussion attitude.”

“Hey, you take a huge risk hurling yourself at damn near 30 miles an hour around the track, with no helmet or protection at all, so don’t be so quick to judge my game,” Logan sharply reminded her.

“But there aren’t huge men hurling themselves back into me the whole time either,” she angrily reasoned.

“I know, fine, just let me explain everything,” he smiled and caressed her arm to pull her off the edge. She could be so obstinate when she was upset. He couldn’t help but love that she was worried for his future though, because he knew it meant that she cared about having a future with him.

Meadow continued to fume at him, still clearly angry that he was making light of a head injury. Logan had already admitted to her a few times that he wasn’t entirely enamored with the permissiveness on rough checking and fighting in pro hockey, especially in the minors where guys are trying to make a name for themselves. He’d chosen a long time ago to avoid the worst of the poundings by going the college route. But now there was added pressure for him to evolve into an even more physically enforcing role, and he was uncomfortable with the kind of competitive punishment that could jeopardize his post-hockey brain and body.

“I don’t really like this job lately, Meadow; the constant talk of trades, getting sent back down, not knowing where I’m going to go next... the dirty hits, the boarding, and the damn weight stuff starting up all over again... even that stupid pretty boy marketing crap,” he vented his laundry list of complaints in frustration.

Meadow couldn’t help but smile at his ‘pretty boy marketing’ comment. When Logan first started with the Mallards, the team asked some of the players do beefcake photo shoots for a promotional campaign intended to draw more women to games. Meadow knew why Logan was chosen... his charming looks didn’t hurt any team looking to fill their roster with handsome guys who could sell more tickets as puck bunny bait.

She relished those cute pictures of him, shirtless in his hockey pants with his laces half-open at the waist, holding his stick, while his eyes smoldered back into the camera. Logan hated it; he expressed complete mortification to Meadow over the spray-on tan he had to endure, and further admitted to her that his abs and flanks were photoshopped to make him look a little more cut than he really was. Cheesy and doctored as the photos were, she liked looking at them anyway, especially during the many weeks they were apart while she was training and competing at World Cup events overseas.

But lately his team seemed more focused on using him as a heavy weapon than a poster boy. One assistant coach made the mistake of telling him when he arrived back from Des Moines that it was okay to keep on a few pounds if it helped him punish the competition. Without much more unintentional permission than that, Logan’s appetite had him edging back into the upper 230s. It seemed like he had only indulged a handful of times and was already feeling the pressure to bring his weight back down once again.

“As much as I would hate to have you that far away from me, have you considered Europe?” Meadow suggested, trying to figure out a way for him to do what he’s so good at and still stay in one piece. At least some of those leagues regulated the more ferocious aspects of the game that Logan was not enjoying in the minors. He certainly had the skating skills to do well there, although he’d have to quickly lose what he’d gained to raise any team’s interest. “We can train together again this summer, and Renate is probably connected to some agents over there...”

“I haven’t told you that I took the LSAT over the winter,” he abruptly cut her line of thinking off and looked at her with trepidation, unsure what her reaction to the news would be. Logan knew Meadow would be skeptical that he was done with the intensity and rush of adrenaline that he got from competing at an elite level. But as much as he loved the games, he had been thinking rationally about where he was at with his career. The positives and negatives of slogging it out from team to team in the minors were on a virtual balance sheet in his head, with the negatives increasingly weighing against the positives.

“What?” Meadow was shocked. He had sometimes talked about eventually getting back to educational pursuits, but also that he wanted to take advantage of his physical talents while he was still young, strong and healthy.

“And I got accepted to the law school back at UMN,” he couldn’t keep it from her anymore. Originally he was going to wait until the season was over to tell her, just to be sure of his decision, but these latest injuries were cutting that plan short anyway. He could feel the inevitability of it in his body, even more now than with his last major hip injury... the one that ended his junior season as a Gopher and accelerated his big fat slide into red shirt status.

Meadow’s was thrilled for his academic accomplishment; but deeply concerned for his happiness. He wasn’t smiling or frowning either... Is this what he really wants? He’s got to really want it.

“I decided to apply before they forgot my name,” he joked about his success the year before in the Frozen Four that made him a bit more of a local hero.

“Not easy to forget you after last year,” she grinned, reminded of the pride she felt for his senior season accomplishments. He was so impressive on the ice in those games that she may have fallen even more in love with him for his uncanny ability to make slow look fast and fast look slow. She adored his heart more than anything else, of course; but she also truly admired his talents... now that she had gotten over herself and could finally admit how damn great he really was.

He smiled, remembering how Meadow had come to every game she could when she was not traveling with the US speed skating team. She was able to make it back to the Twin Cities for Regionals and then flew to Boston for the Finals... and she was really there for him the night they lost the National Championship. It was the genuine way in which she totally understood his disappointment in defeat; and her loving arms that let him know in the midst of a crushing loss, everything was going to be alright. And all along, she had been there for him with training and moral support, even when they were both apart due to his road games and her competition schedule.

“What about your first love?” she needed to know he wasn’t doing something he’d regret.

“Hockey may be my first love, but there’s more than one way to play it... and I actually do miss school,” he shrugged. “Plus, there’s another love who makes me even happier now,” he rubbed his hand down along the outside her thigh flirtatiously. I do love this determined woman.

Meadow was bewildered by the way he could touch her in just the right way to help her calm down and relax. She sometimes wondered if it was yet another extrasensory talent of his, like his ability to use his body to subtlety knock an opposing player away from the puck; or how he could deliver his breakout pass with a perfect timing and velocity for his winger to skate into it. Logan wasn’t the fastest or most physical defenseman, not even on his own team; but he was so gifted with the finer aspects of the game that she was still a bit skeptical that he was really done with elite competition. “Are you completely sure? You have to be completely sure.”

“I don’t enjoy playing this way anymore,” he admitted. “I was at the top of my game this year and I’m still not even close to getting called up again.” Never drafted, Logan hadn’t even expected to get into the AHL after he was dragged so publicly through his well-known weight issues. If it weren’t for the brief but noteworthy attention he received for his solid performance in the Frozen Four, he questioned whether any of the minor leagues would have wanted him either.

Now he was getting a taste of the pro life, with the next level dangled daily in front of him in the form of constant chatter about other guys getting sent up to the NHL. But Logan only got sent right back down to a lesser league to just keep mucking along. The highest ranks were eternally out of his reach, making the reality of it all a little more agonizing to deal with each day.

“It’s only getting more painful and the rewards are diminishing... Free tuition was almost a better deal than my current contract,” he finally expressed all of the thoughts that had been circulating in his brain for several months. “And they sure as hell won’t cover my medical bills ten years from now. I want to love hockey, and be able to play as I get older, and maybe even coach...or teach my own kids how to play someday,” he smiled sheepishly at Meadow. “But I won’t be able to walk when I’m 40, much less skate if I keep doing this job.”

Meadow wasn’t entirely surprised over his grievances. She thought about his demeanor during and after recent Mallards games she'd attended and he was nothing like the guy he'd been back with the Gophers. He still played hard and executed well enough, but he didn't seem to have the passion or joy; or show any real bond to his current team. He wasn’t quite the same inspired Logan she knew the year before, when he was playing college hockey at his best.

She thought back to the days before she was ever introduced to him, when she assumed he was nothing more than some hockey douche... that was when she first witnessed how much he loved the game when he was on the ice, and the fun he had in playing to the crowd. A couple of years later, after they’d forged a friendship that turned into something more, he seemed even more connected to the game. He'd always find a way to grin and wink at her from the ice, obviously excited to share something that mattered deeply to him with her. And after the final buzzer sounded at all those Gopher games, he'd still be high on adrenaline; and all was right in his world. Even after a loss, he was still positive about the next game, looking forward, ready to study and prepare for his next opponent. These days though, he acted like wins and losses just all blended together, while the physical pain seemed to dig in deeper under his skin, dampening his spirits.

Though she was still a little nervous about the finality of his decision, Meadow was also proud of him for having the maturity to think carefully about his future and make a change he felt he needed to make. “You can play pick-up games at a different rink every night of the week in the Cities,” she grinned in agreement, seeing he had already made his mind up.

“The law school has a hockey team too,” he grinned back.

“Now I know why they accepted you,” Meadow teased him.

“And even if I put on a few more, they’re the kind of team that will still love me,” he laughed, rubbing his tiny bit of promising tummy fat that Meadow had been observing with thinly veiled interest. “You’d probably enjoy that too.”

Meadow’s hands gently followed his down to the soft bit of newly formed chub on his belly, “I’ll love your body whatever happens, but I do want you in one piece.”

“Yeah, one big piece if you get your way,” he shook his head with a chuckle.

“One big and sexy piece,” she corrected him with a lusty grin and gave him a deep kiss.
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Old 12-22-2016, 01:41 PM   #72
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New post above today, but its *still* not over, just another couple of sections left that I have somewhat sketched out. This month has just really been crazy - I do hope the holidays give me some breathing room to get it all settled for these two lovelies.
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Old 12-22-2016, 03:25 PM   #73
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Dayum girl. I am in awe of your delicate and sexy closing...!
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Old 12-26-2016, 09:18 PM   #74
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Please update soon! I love this story.
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Old 01-03-2017, 12:18 PM   #75
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Ashblonde, the story of Logan and Meadow just goes from strength to strength!

Whenever you have any more parts ready to share, we'll be ready. But, take your time. No pressure.
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