Why do guys choose to date thin(ner) women and then complain about it? - Page 11

fatgirl04 · 12-17-2010, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BBW_Curious1

What about the flip side of this coin? Men who date/marry BBW/SSBBW and then complain or try to "drop hints" about losing weight??

Also, isn't that the same as a women expecting a man to change for her once they are married or in a committed relationship.

Its the whole "once a cheater, always a cheater" argument - people don't change unless they want to, so if they are embarrassed about dating fat men or fat women, they will always cave to societies strictures, unless they themselves want to break on free to the other side [so to speak].

coyote wild · 12-18-2010, 03:27 AM

Admittedly, I just kind of skimmed this thread. But I'm throwing in my perspective.

I haven't been single for very long, but I've kinda promised myself that my next girlfriend would not weigh less than 200lbs. It's not a shallow thing (or hey, I guess it is, but whatever); women of all sizes are beautiful, but my damn libido only accepts a certain size. I can't help it. In fact, I fucking hate it right now, because otherwise I might still be with my last girlfriend, but that's another story.

But truth be told, I do love my love for fat women. I just never knew how important it was going to be to me in the future. And while I've never officially "come out" about my preference, I don't feel the need to hide it, either.

I feel like it's kind of important to embrace FA-ness, if for no other reason than to make it easier to account for how many of us are out there.

So this is me. Just a couple of months into my quest for the BBW I've always wanted. Where are you?

StickMan · 02-09-2011, 09:41 PM

There is another possibility. My case: I've only seriously dated thin girls (had a fling with a BBW which went nowhere when she turned out to be smotheringly annoying, if rather hot. But I digress) because they're pretty much the only one's who will go out with me. There have been precisely three girls with self-esteem low enough to go out with me, and one was the aforementioned fling. The other two are/were skinny as rails and hell-bent on staying that way. I've made up my mind to pretty much stop looking for a relationship, seeing as my ratio of success currently stands at around 4:1 against.

Crap, I'm one of those "Woe is me" guys, aren't I?

mossystate · 02-09-2011, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StickMan

There is another possibility. My case: I've only seriously dated thin girls (had a fling with a BBW which went nowhere when she turned out to be smotheringly annoying, if rather hot. But I digress) because they're pretty much the only one's who will go out with me. There have been precisely three girls with self-esteem low enough to go out with me, and one was the aforementioned fling. The other two are/were skinny as rails and hell-bent on staying that way. I've made up my mind to pretty much stop looking for a relationship, seeing as my ratio of success currently stands at around 4:1 against.

Crap, I'm one of those "Woe is me" guys, aren't I?

Maybe you should look into upping your own self-esteem and what you bring to the table, so you would be more attractive to more women. And I am not even getting the " hell-bent " comment.

Rowan · 02-09-2011, 10:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StickMan

There is another possibility. My case: I've only seriously dated thin girls (had a fling with a BBW which went nowhere when she turned out to be smotheringly annoying, if rather hot. But I digress) because they're pretty much the only one's who will go out with me. There have been precisely three girls with self-esteem low enough to go out with me, and one was the aforementioned fling. The other two are/were skinny as rails and hell-bent on staying that way. I've made up my mind to pretty much stop looking for a relationship, seeing as my ratio of success currently stands at around 4:1 against.

Crap, I'm one of those "Woe is me" guys, aren't I?

Quote:

Originally Posted by mossystate

Maybe you should look into upping your own self-esteem and what you bring to the table, so you would be more attractive to more women. And I am not even getting the " hell-bent " comment.

I second this Mossy! Rep for you

truebebeblue · 02-10-2011, 12:50 AM

I think its pretty easy..... young guy (under about 22ish) could be simple lack of self knowledge. After about that age it's probably just an annoying character flaw or a helpful giant red flag. Or he could genuuinely live in one of those places ravaged by famine that have NO fat women to date(but still has easy internet access).... apparently this happens a lot to our poor thin dating dims men. It's very sad,I might create a ribbon.

superodalisque · 02-10-2011, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by truebebeblue

I think its pretty easy..... young guy (under about 22ish) could be simple lack of self knowledge. After about that age it's probably just an annoying character flaw or a helpful giant red flag. Or he could genuuinely live in one of those places ravaged by famine that have NO fat women to date(but still has easy internet access).... apparently this happens a lot to our poor thin dating dims men. It's very sad,I might create a ribbon.

i know! the famine seems to be rampant doesn't it, even in countries with an epidemic of obesity.

superodalisque · 02-10-2011, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StickMan

There is another possibility. My case: I've only seriously dated thin girls (had a fling with a BBW which went nowhere when she turned out to be smotheringly annoying, if rather hot. But I digress) because they're pretty much the only one's who will go out with me. There have been precisely three girls with self-esteem low enough to go out with me, and one was the aforementioned fling. The other two are/were skinny as rails and hell-bent on staying that way. I've made up my mind to pretty much stop looking for a relationship, seeing as my ratio of success currently stands at around 4:1 against.

Crap, I'm one of those "Woe is me" guys, aren't I?

yeah. i think this is typical of that . a lot of guys keep dating women with low self esteem because thats whats really attracting them even when they complain about it. i notice that they often run when they happen on women who do have self esteem because that means they really have to live up to something. they have to bring something to the table. after all, if women have low self esteem they'll accept a lot of bs and make lots of excuse for a guys short comings. besides that a lot of guys have an excuse to deal with women without ever attempting a relationship since just maybe deep down they don't really actually want one anyway. i don't trust any man who says he can't find a decent woman to date. there are just too many great women around for that to be true, especially when they start acting as though every fat woman has low self esteem or a crazily flawed character of some sort. i have a few guy friends who are like that. usually after i know them for a while i discover the problem was him the whole time.

butch · 02-11-2011, 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by truebebeblue

Or he could genuuinely live in one of those places ravaged by famine that have NO fat women to date(but still has easy internet access).... apparently this happens a lot to our poor thin dating dims men. It's very sad,I might create a ribbon.

This continues to make me chuckle-i will proudly wear your ribbon!

KittyKitten · 02-16-2011, 11:55 PM

Alot of males (not men) are weak. They may have sex with someone that turns them on, but in public, they go with the status quo. It is disgusting, in my opinion to do that to a woman, and it leads to unhappiness with the man. Most males grow out of this immature stage when they become older in their late 30s and 40s; some never grow out of it.

I wouldn't be suprised if many of the men on the paysite boards jack off to the 500 lbs vixens on there but are married to 200 pounders or less.

A man that truly respects and admires you will show you off in public and not be ashamed. No man better not be ashamed of me!

Tracyarts · 02-17-2011, 12:54 AM

" I wouldn't be suprised if many of the men on the paysite boards jack off to the 500 lbs vixens on there but are married to 200 pounders or less. "

I overheard a man at one of the size acceptance events I went to in the '90's telling another man how he would come to the conventions and bashes to fuck supersized women, but in his real life he only dated midsized women. They were still fat enough to be attractive to him, but not too fat to be socially acceptable date material. He said that he felt no need to wear his fetish on his sleeve for the whole world to see. That if he were into BDSM, he would not feel obligated to walk around in his leathers, so why should he walk around in public with a SSBBW?

I thought it was pretty offensive, but he did have a point with his BDSM analogy. And fetishes, porn preferences, and fantasy fuckables don't necessarily have anything to do with relationships.

Tracy

JulieD · 02-17-2011, 03:10 AM

First let me start off by saying that what I am about to say does not pertain to all males or all females, but I know for a fact that it does pertain to some on this board.

Men are self centered and women are needy.

I know for a fact that I am not a fetish, I am a woman. A confident, happy, intelligent, sexy woman who does not need a man to take care of me. This ladies, this is where we fuck up. We allow men to stick their wieners inside of us because he has money, or looks good, or is charming and tells us what we want to hear. We allow men with a "fatty" fetish to abuse us and use us for exactly that. Then men tend to think that it is ok to fuck us and leave us...then go out and wine and dine an average sized female. Fuck that. If we would not allow them to use us in this way, then they would not do so. If we did not allow them to subjectify us as women, then they wouldn't. But, its not that easy, simply because loneliness sucks. Women are weak and insecure, end up giving in, if for even an hour of being made to feel like they are loved... although its fake love. I have done it, I will admit, but I will also admit that I am a lot stronger then I was and have learned a lot in my life. So, now I refuse to be with a man, if for even only one night, that does not first respect me, and second truly care for me. People are attracted to all different shapes, sizes, and colors...peoples desires and wants change all the time. There are men out their who truly desire to be with us, who are confident enough as a man, that they don't care what all the other, non-confident people think. There are men who would be proud to have a bbw/ssbbw on their arm, showing her off to the world, proving to the world that this sexy lady is his and she makes him happy. But ladies, that man is going to have to come to the realization that we are the only kind of female that makes him happy. If we keep giving it to him, with out him ever having to face this fact...then we will always be his fetish. This is why men date thinner girls and come creeping back to our beds talking about how they missed our bodies, our warmth, our softness... all of the big girl hugs and big girl lovin'. I guess this is true in life as it is anywhere...people will treat you the way you allow them to. If you are one of those people who is sick of being taken advantage of, don't allow anyone to take advantage of you. If you are being abused, don't allow it to happen. We as females are the strongest creatures in the world... we are amazing, and if we do not extrude that amazement, then who is ever going to notice?

And now a big girl thank you to all of the FAs who realize that we are amazing women and that you cant live without us... Thanks

To all the creepers and lurkers who have been members for 3 years but never post and only hang out to get your jollies off...grow some. Get over yourself and what you think everyone else is thinking, and accept who you are attracted to. You will be much happier in the end..trust me

Jes · 02-17-2011, 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JulieD

To all the creepers and lurkers who have been members for 3 years but never post and only hang out to get your jollies off...grow some. Get over yourself and what you think everyone else is thinking, and accept who you are attracted to. You will be much happier in the end..trust me

Yes and no.

Someone much smarter than am I espoused the idea that there are fat wankers who will never be fat fuckers and fat fuckers who will never be fat daters. The second case, I understand (though it disappoints me horribly) but I never knew the first kind existed. But she's right and they do.

The truth that many of us (esp. women) don't seem to get, or want to get, is that for many, many people, THIS (i.e., sitting at home, looking at words or typing words, but nothing else) is the EXACT level of social interaction they want. They're not closeted FAs, or men who need encouragement or berating. This is it. THIS IS IT. They don't WANT a deeper connection. In fact, they're here, online, because this is all they want.

If we want someone we know goes out and socializes and is (hopefully!) available, then maybe OUT not IN is where we need to be looking.

bigsexy920 · 02-17-2011, 01:39 PM

Ive heard things like this from men as well. But they actually said it to ME not sure if they thought I was a "passer" or they didn't care that they were offending me

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tracyarts

I overheard a man at one of the size acceptance events I went to in the '90's telling another man how he would come to the conventions and bashes to fuck supersized women, but in his real life he only dated midsized women. They were still fat enough to be attractive to him, but not too fat to be socially acceptable date material. He said that he felt no need to wear his fetish on his sleeve for the whole world to see. That if he were into BDSM, he would not feel obligated to walk around in his leathers, so why should he walk around in public with a SSBBW?

I thought it was pretty offensive, but he did have a point with his BDSM analogy. And fetishes, porn preferences, and fantasy fuckables don't necessarily have anything to do with relationships.

Tracy

Never2fat4me · 02-25-2011, 04:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JulieD

First let me start off by saying that what I am about to say does not pertain to all males or all females, but I know for a fact that it does pertain to some on this board.

Men are self centered and women are needy.

I know for a fact that I am not a fetish, I am a woman. A confident, happy, intelligent, sexy woman who does not need a man to take care of me. This ladies, this is where we fuck up. We allow men to stick their wieners inside of us because he has money, or looks good, or is charming and tells us what we want to hear. We allow men with a "fatty" fetish to abuse us and use us for exactly that. Then men tend to think that it is ok to fuck us and leave us...then go out and wine and dine an average sized female. Fuck that. If we would not allow them to use us in this way, then they would not do so. If we did not allow them to subjectify us as women, then they wouldn't. But, its not that easy, simply because loneliness sucks. Women are weak and insecure, end up giving in, if for even an hour of being made to feel like they are loved... although its fake love. I have done it, I will admit, but I will also admit that I am a lot stronger then I was and have learned a lot in my life. So, now I refuse to be with a man, if for even only one night, that does not first respect me, and second truly care for me. People are attracted to all different shapes, sizes, and colors...peoples desires and wants change all the time. There are men out their who truly desire to be with us, who are confident enough as a man, that they don't care what all the other, non-confident people think. There are men who would be proud to have a bbw/ssbbw on their arm, showing her off to the world, proving to the world that this sexy lady is his and she makes him happy. But ladies, that man is going to have to come to the realization that we are the only kind of female that makes him happy. If we keep giving it to him, with out him ever having to face this fact...then we will always be his fetish. This is why men date thinner girls and come creeping back to our beds talking about how they missed our bodies, our warmth, our softness... all of the big girl hugs and big girl lovin'. I guess this is true in life as it is anywhere...people will treat you the way you allow them to. If you are one of those people who is sick of being taken advantage of, don't allow anyone to take advantage of you. If you are being abused, don't allow it to happen. We as females are the strongest creatures in the world... we are amazing, and if we do not extrude that amazement, then who is ever going to notice?

And now a big girl thank you to all of the FAs who realize that we are amazing women and that you cant live without us... Thanks

To all the creepers and lurkers who have been members for 3 years but never post and only hang out to get your jollies off...grow some. Get over yourself and what you think everyone else is thinking, and accept who you are attracted to. You will be much happier in the end..trust me

This has got to be one of the best posts ever!

(Tried to rep but need to spread some around before I give it again to you, Julie.)

You are totally right about men and women (in general, of course!). I think it comes down to both sexes are weak and have needs they want met. In men it is the physical (i.e., sex) and in women it is the emotional (i.e., love), and we each give to the other - or at least pretend to give - what it is they want in return for what we want. That is to say, a lot of men give "love" to a woman they want to get in bed and a lot of women consent to having sex because they want to be in a relationship with a guy. I am very much ashamed to say it - and I hope others don't hold my past against me - but I can be honest enough to admit to having played that game in my younger days. Now that I am older - and hopefully wiser - I know that I need more than just a good lay and I enjoy the companionship of a loving, funny woman.

But back to the topic, I have never felt the need to date a thin woman - and never have (I have dated only a couple of "average" size women, and that was because I thought they were really nice people despite not being really attracted to them physically) - so I am not talking from experience. But I agree with the issue of pressure to conform to society's norms probably being the biggest factor. There is a good thread here on "coming out" as an FA, and it isn't easy. Wouldn't want to suggest it is anywhere near as hard as dealing with prejudices felt by SSBBWs - that is something you cannot hide, unlike being an FA - but there is a lot of pressure to conform and dating SSBBW is definitely not part of that.

Personally, I feel great pride in having an SSBBW on my arm. I imagine it must be just like a guy dating a supermodel would feel, knowing how envious everyone is of me getting to be with the woman whose hand I am holding. Logically, I know they aren't jealous - and some are probably revolted - but that is how I feel in my heart. And I think it is too bad that there are a lot of weak guys out there who hide how they feel and don't get to experience the freedom that I do or the joy of dating a beautiful SSBBW.

Chris

12-18-2010, 03:27 AM	#252
coyote wild You'll love me, I swear. Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Space Posts: 561	Admittedly, I just kind of skimmed this thread. But I'm throwing in my perspective. I haven't been single for very long, but I've kinda promised myself that my next girlfriend would not weigh less than 200lbs. It's not a shallow thing (or hey, I guess it is, but whatever); women of all sizes are beautiful, but my damn libido only accepts a certain size. I can't help it. In fact, I fucking hate it right now, because otherwise I might still be with my last girlfriend, but that's another story. But truth be told, I do love my love for fat women. I just never knew how important it was going to be to me in the future. And while I've never officially "come out" about my preference, I don't feel the need to hide it, either. I feel like it's kind of important to embrace FA-ness, if for no other reason than to make it easier to account for how many of us are out there. So this is me. Just a couple of months into my quest for the BBW I've always wanted. Where are you? __________________ "Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding. "

02-16-2011, 11:55 PM	#260
KittyKitten Nerdysillysweetspicysaucy Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: USA Posts: 4,017	Alot of males (not men) are weak. They may have sex with someone that turns them on, but in public, they go with the status quo. It is disgusting, in my opinion to do that to a woman, and it leads to unhappiness with the man. Most males grow out of this immature stage when they become older in their late 30s and 40s; some never grow out of it. I wouldn't be suprised if many of the men on the paysite boards jack off to the 500 lbs vixens on there but are married to 200 pounders or less. A man that truly respects and admires you will show you off in public and not be ashamed. No man better not be ashamed of me! __________________ "I'm making a political statement every time I make my ass clap" - Ru Paul

02-17-2011, 12:54 AM	#261
Tracyarts Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Just southeast of Houston, TX Posts: 1,987	" I wouldn't be suprised if many of the men on the paysite boards jack off to the 500 lbs vixens on there but are married to 200 pounders or less. " I overheard a man at one of the size acceptance events I went to in the '90's telling another man how he would come to the conventions and bashes to fuck supersized women, but in his real life he only dated midsized women. They were still fat enough to be attractive to him, but not too fat to be socially acceptable date material. He said that he felt no need to wear his fetish on his sleeve for the whole world to see. That if he were into BDSM, he would not feel obligated to walk around in his leathers, so why should he walk around in public with a SSBBW? I thought it was pretty offensive, but he did have a point with his BDSM analogy. And fetishes, porn preferences, and fantasy fuckables don't necessarily have anything to do with relationships. Tracy __________________ My random topics YouTube Vlog:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmA...27t-qZg/videos

02-17-2011, 03:10 AM	#262
JulieD Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 731	First let me start off by saying that what I am about to say does not pertain to all males or all females, but I know for a fact that it does pertain to some on this board. Men are self centered and women are needy. I know for a fact that I am not a fetish, I am a woman. A confident, happy, intelligent, sexy woman who does not need a man to take care of me. This ladies, this is where we fuck up. We allow men to stick their wieners inside of us because he has money, or looks good, or is charming and tells us what we want to hear. We allow men with a "fatty" fetish to abuse us and use us for exactly that. Then men tend to think that it is ok to fuck us and leave us...then go out and wine and dine an average sized female. Fuck that. If we would not allow them to use us in this way, then they would not do so. If we did not allow them to subjectify us as women, then they wouldn't. But, its not that easy, simply because loneliness sucks. Women are weak and insecure, end up giving in, if for even an hour of being made to feel like they are loved... although its fake love. I have done it, I will admit, but I will also admit that I am a lot stronger then I was and have learned a lot in my life. So, now I refuse to be with a man, if for even only one night, that does not first respect me, and second truly care for me. People are attracted to all different shapes, sizes, and colors...peoples desires and wants change all the time. There are men out their who truly desire to be with us, who are confident enough as a man, that they don't care what all the other, non-confident people think. There are men who would be proud to have a bbw/ssbbw on their arm, showing her off to the world, proving to the world that this sexy lady is his and she makes him happy. But ladies, that man is going to have to come to the realization that we are the only kind of female that makes him happy. If we keep giving it to him, with out him ever having to face this fact...then we will always be his fetish. This is why men date thinner girls and come creeping back to our beds talking about how they missed our bodies, our warmth, our softness... all of the big girl hugs and big girl lovin'. I guess this is true in life as it is anywhere...people will treat you the way you allow them to. If you are one of those people who is sick of being taken advantage of, don't allow anyone to take advantage of you. If you are being abused, don't allow it to happen. We as females are the strongest creatures in the world... we are amazing, and if we do not extrude that amazement, then who is ever going to notice? And now a big girl thank you to all of the FAs who realize that we are amazing women and that you cant live without us... Thanks To all the creepers and lurkers who have been members for 3 years but never post and only hang out to get your jollies off...grow some. Get over yourself and what you think everyone else is thinking, and accept who you are attracted to. You will be much happier in the end..trust me __________________ FAKE PEOPLE SUCK

02-09-2011, 09:41 PM	#253
StickMan Two-Dimentional Character Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: College! Try and figure out which one. Posts: 131	There is another possibility. My case: I've only seriously dated thin girls (had a fling with a BBW which went nowhere when she turned out to be smotheringly annoying, if rather hot. But I digress) because they're pretty much the only one's who will go out with me. There have been precisely three girls with self-esteem low enough to go out with me, and one was the aforementioned fling. The other two are/were skinny as rails and hell-bent on staying that way. I've made up my mind to pretty much stop looking for a relationship, seeing as my ratio of success currently stands at around 4:1 against. Crap, I'm one of those "Woe is me" guys, aren't I?

02-10-2011, 12:50 AM	#256
truebebeblue Balls,I kicks em. Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Pittsburgh,PA Posts: 436	I think its pretty easy..... young guy (under about 22ish) could be simple lack of self knowledge. After about that age it's probably just an annoying character flaw or a helpful giant red flag. Or he could genuuinely live in one of those places ravaged by famine that have NO fat women to date(but still has easy internet access).... apparently this happens a lot to our poor thin dating dims men. It's very sad,I might create a ribbon.