Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion
Old 02-28-2009, 10:06 AM   #626
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Btw. Do you really feel you are being judged or criticised silently?? Thats awful. Do you mean thats what you would feel if you didnt have a ssbbw space only? Was there a mixed room before that didnt work or do you base this on the experiences posting on other places in Dims? hmm..this place..its like an onion wrapped in an inigma wrapped in a conundrum wrapped in a mumu!!
__________________
We must learn that to passively accept an unjust system is to cooperate with that system, thereby to become a participant in its evil. -Martin Luther King, Jr.
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2009, 10:15 AM   #627
olwen
Disco Bear
 
olwen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: nyc
Posts: 6,966
olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
Sure. Actually though, i hadnt even considered the things you n Olwen were saying. I guess i was looking at it from the view that if people hadnt experienced things they wouldnt make suggestions to people looking for help. I think because there have been quite a lot of smaller bbws asking for a forum i was wondering why there wasnt some sort of all encompassing BBW room. I guess though, where do you draw the line because everyones perceptions of bbw is different so it would just end up a womans room which then wouldnt be helpful to ssbbws at all.. hmm What about ssbhm's..they need to learn about the telescopic bumboil sticks too i feel!
Not to speak for bhms, but it seems to me like their issues would be slightly different from ours. How they communicate is a factor as well. They have to deal with "it's not manly if you do X" so how willing they are to share very personal things is maybe why there isn't a ssbhm board. I think maybe if they were willing to share they would be more willing to do that with as little fuss as possible. I don't know if this is how they really feel, but that's the impression I get from some of the bhms. Seems to me like it just comes down to the different communication styles between men and women. So to summarize, it's not that ssbhms wouldn't need a private forum to discuss very personal issues, it's how willing they'd be to participate in the first place.
olwen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2009, 10:31 AM   #628
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by olwen View Post
Not to speak for bhms, but it seems to me like their issues would be slightly different from ours. How they communicate is a factor as well. They have to deal with "it's not manly if you do X" so how willing they are to share very personal things is maybe why there isn't a ssbhm board. I think maybe if they were willing to share they would be more willing to do that with as little fuss as possible. I don't know if this is how they really feel, but that's the impression I get from some of the bhms. Seems to me like it just comes down to the different communication styles between men and women. So to summarize, it's not that ssbhms wouldn't need a private forum to discuss very personal issues, it's how willing they'd be to participate in the first place.
I actually wondered to begin with if there was a ssbbw private forum because ssbbw's wanted to talk about personal things without guys being able to know what they were saying. I actually wondered if it would also be difficult to discuss these kind of things with women in general who were not or had never experienced being a ssbbw. I have had ssbbw friends for years who are pretty open about things with me but i could totally see how people that were a bit more shy might want a private place to discuss them.
Where does bbw end and ssbbw begin btw? I'm sure my gf is sssbbw (on the smaller end) and she doesnt have many of the problems she has heard from people who actually weighed less because they were less supple or something.. Its a pity that some of the people on the cusp who needed help or a safe space might not be able to get it because of numbers..
__________________
We must learn that to passively accept an unjust system is to cooperate with that system, thereby to become a participant in its evil. -Martin Luther King, Jr.
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2009, 10:45 AM   #629
LillyBBBW
Wig Snatcher
 
LillyBBBW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,794
LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

There's only so much I can say. I've been sternly warned not to talk about what goes on in the forum, even this inocuous stuff so I'm reluctant to go much farther. Yes there are people who feel that they are being judged and there is good reason. I'm of no mind to revive old threads and spark new life to them. Neither do I want to embarass people who may or may not have changed their way of thinking on the matter now or who have left the board altogether and aren't here to defend themselves. Since "Canklegate" is so readily available I will use that as an example. It as well as many other incidents on this board has been extremely hurtful to people in an epic form that some people still can't understand why it's been taken to such levels. Sadly it's something that no one has the capability to justify I the minds of people who are far removed from the issues. In this thread it's perfectly reasonable to ask these questions and talk these things out to gain more understanding if possible. This should not happen in the SSBBW forum though, that's not what it's for. As far as SSBHMs go, my bum scratcher metaphore was a deliberate red herring. BHMs aren't in there for the same reason I won't let my dad or my brother look up my hooha with a flashlight.
__________________
Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

@~;~~
LillyBBBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2009, 10:56 AM   #630
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Totally. I understand why the ssbbw board needs to exist and why it needs to be private too. 'Canklegate' kinna shocked me because i never thought bbws would speak about other bbws like that but at the same time i remember thinking..yeah but some women bitch and gossip all the time, if not about that then about something else. I'm sure there is 'in' bitching between even the ssbbws here. ..anywaaays..
I'm actually a bit disapointed that you cant get telescopic bum scratchers cause i wanted one. Also, you DONT allow your dad n brother to look up your hooha with a flashlight??? How prudish!
Anyway, i forget what the hell is happening here? Where are we?
Fa's want a board.
BBws want a board.
SSbbws want to keep their board for ssbbws and private..
is that the score?
i cant actually even remember my point any more, which is usually a good indicator of it being time to shut up!
__________________
We must learn that to passively accept an unjust system is to cooperate with that system, thereby to become a participant in its evil. -Martin Luther King, Jr.
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2009, 11:09 AM   #631
LillyBBBW
Wig Snatcher
 
LillyBBBW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,794
LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

This started out with the idea of keeping the SS forum private to keep the old dirty bastards out. The men want to keep the old shrewish harpies out of their forum and nobody likes being thought of in any of those terms. Then there's the FFA who wonders what peg they're supposed to slip into. It's a great big soupy mess but you and I can strainghten them all out mer. I'm still working on that root beer so we'll be able to do this over matching mugs.
__________________
Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

@~;~~
LillyBBBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2009, 11:13 AM   #632
olwen
Disco Bear
 
olwen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: nyc
Posts: 6,966
olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
I actually wondered to begin with if there was a ssbbw private forum because ssbbw's wanted to talk about personal things without guys being able to know what they were saying. I actually wondered if it would also be difficult to discuss these kind of things with women in general who were not or had never experienced being a ssbbw. I have had ssbbw friends for years who are pretty open about things with me but i could totally see how people that were a bit more shy might want a private place to discuss them.
Where does bbw end and ssbbw begin btw? I'm sure my gf is sssbbw (on the smaller end) and she doesnt have many of the problems she has heard from people who actually weighed less because they were less supple or something.. Its a pity that some of the people on the cusp who needed help or a safe space might not be able to get it because of numbers..
They wanted to be able to talk without being on display. They want to be able to discuss very personal private embarrassing matters without being gawked at by people who've never been thru what they've been thru. It wasn't just about getting away from some boys club mentality. That's a bit oversimplistic. There is a thread about the forming of the board that contains reasons for why it was needed from ssbbws themselves. You could search for it if you really want a better understanding. But...yeah....I'd hate for it to be resurrected...

As for where does ssbbw begin - I think it's over 350lbs or or over 400lbs. I'm 324lbs so I'm just below that now, and maybe on the cusp. I'm not in the ssbbw forum either. I don't feel like I can't get help for any issues I'd have from smaller bbws or bbws my size, so I feel no need for a private space and I don't think it's a pity not to have one. All of Dims is a space. I think if a bbw has issues that aren't being addressed they need to adopt a more effective communication style and say exactly what it is they feel and exactly what they want to hear and discussions can go from there. But this is true for anybody I guess. Also having a protected space doesn't mean there wouldn't be disagreements between community members....I guess it's just a testament to the reality of those differences if you have to ask why ssbbws needed a private space but not smaller bbws...I don't know what else to say about that.

Last edited by olwen; 02-28-2009 at 11:16 AM.
olwen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2009, 11:22 AM   #633
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by olwen View Post
I guess it's just a testament to the reality of those differences if you have to ask why ssbbws needed a private space but not smaller bbws...I don't know what else to say about that.
I am really just playing devils advocate here and trying to understand both sides. I am neither ssbbw or bbw (well maby i am but i dont think so) so it doesnt really matter either way except for the fact of fairness and the fact that some bbws had expressed and interest in a private forum too. It was actually someone else that asked about smaller bbws needing a private space too..maby some people need stuff that others dont irrelivent of size.
also, i am crap at looking up stuff here..i really would be all day. I always try to look for a better understanding of people, hence all the questions. Though i can understand people will get board, pissed off, anoyed by questions and tell me to fuck off and that is totally fair enough..
cheers for your patience Olwen x
__________________
We must learn that to passively accept an unjust system is to cooperate with that system, thereby to become a participant in its evil. -Martin Luther King, Jr.
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2009, 01:30 PM   #634
olwen
Disco Bear
 
olwen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: nyc
Posts: 6,966
olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!olwen keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
I am really just playing devils advocate here and trying to understand both sides. I am neither ssbbw or bbw (well maby i am but i dont think so) so it doesnt really matter either way except for the fact of fairness and the fact that some bbws had expressed and interest in a private forum too. It was actually someone else that asked about smaller bbws needing a private space too..maby some people need stuff that others dont irrelivent of size.
also, i am crap at looking up stuff here..i really would be all day. I always try to look for a better understanding of people, hence all the questions. Though i can understand people will get board, pissed off, anoyed by questions and tell me to fuck off and that is totally fair enough..
cheers for your patience Olwen x
I know you are trying to understand both sides, which is a good thing, but I guess what I'm saying is sometimes some things just can't be understood, then it's best to just let it be.
olwen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2009, 04:46 PM   #635
goodthings
On Timeout
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: mostly in my mind
Posts: 388
goodthings carries a lot of weight on this boardgoodthings carries a lot of weight on this boardgoodthings carries a lot of weight on this boardgoodthings carries a lot of weight on this boardgoodthings carries a lot of weight on this board
Default

what was cankle gate?
goodthings is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-01-2009, 12:04 PM   #636
FlyingThePhobia
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by olwen View Post
Oh if only that was the case. Unfortunately social change is very slow in coming. Letting go of old ideas is hard even if there are valid reasons why the old ideas no longer work.

Plus Americans love their pop culture: tv, movies, magazines, pop music, video games, internet....that stuff only reinforces the old ideas and is very slow to incorporate new ones. Advertisers prefer tv as an advertising medium because of this btw. Brand building, rapt and predictable audiences, and all that...
I agree that with how the media is structured social change is certainly going to be slow especially for females. Males usually have it easier being larger then females and certainly being larger in Hollywood as a male is less of a negative then if you are a female. So I can understand somebody who is just realizing their preference for somebody who is larger be it male or female but given the population around us larger is not that uncommon. Though society as you pointed out still has a huge influence on what people view as being acceptable and not acceptable and also sexism still plays a major role.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-01-2009, 08:28 PM   #637
Eynimeb
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 14
Eynimeb has said some nice things
Default

Wow, the thread is 32 pages long, but I might as well toss in my two cents, in case anybody needs those. Apologies if what I'm saying has been said before, the thread is too big for me to read through.

I think that until the point in time where an FA/FFA is in a relationship with a BBW/BHM, or pursues such a relationship, their taste is really their own business. Sure, in some cases it may mean they miss out on opportunities, but at the end of the day, it is at that point, purely *their* business and no one else's, unless they *want* to share it.

However, should they actually end up in a relationship with a fat person, they should be open about their preference to said person. While there's no need to shout their preference from the rooftops to the rest of the world, they should not hide their significant other in any way. It is really purely a matter of where one's priorities lie. If you really want to be with a certain person, you will have to accept the social backlash. If you're not willing to do that, you're not enough in love/lust with that person.

When I was a kid, I had a "friend" with whom I sometimes played on the computer, played with LEGO, etcetera. But we had this sort of agreement that because I was extremely unpopular at school, he would play along with the bullies and tease me, "pretending" he wasn't my friend. It took me a while to realise what was really going on, but he taught me a valuable lesson.

I have to add though, that people discriminate that way about many other factors, regardless of actual sexual attraction. People are often unwilling to date outside their race or religion because they fear social backlash. The vast majority of women doesn't want to be seen with a guy shorter than herself. People avoid dating certain "types" because they fear their friends will not like them (maybe they know inside that these people aren't really their friends, but they're desperate for some companionship). The list goes on and on.
Eynimeb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2009, 12:06 AM   #638
pineapple cake
 
pineapple cake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: dingy studio
Posts: 21
pineapple cake has said some nice things
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BothGunsBlazing View Post


so, it's ok to compliment women on the paysite board and be all like OMG you are so hot! but not so much to be seen with them? they sure must be gorgeous! nothing makes a woman feel more beautiful than knowing some one would be "uncool" if seen with them. Fuckin' awesome.
i totally concur. i find that the guys i end up dating have one stance against me, is that if i were thinner they'd be more out about liking me.


...i say, next please.
pineapple cake is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-12-2009, 03:45 AM   #639
mergirl
 
mergirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Scotland
Posts: 6,927
mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eynimeb View Post
When I was a kid, I had a "friend" with whom I sometimes played on the computer, played with LEGO, etcetera. But we had this sort of agreement that because I was extremely unpopular at school, he would play along with the bullies and tease me, "pretending" he wasn't my friend. It took me a while to realise what was really going on, but he taught me a valuable lesson.

.
I hope the valuble lesson was that you ARE better than that. you DESERVE better than that and that people like your wee 'friend' behaving the same way as an adult should be avoided like the plague!!
__________________
We must learn that to passively accept an unjust system is to cooperate with that system, thereby to become a participant in its evil. -Martin Luther King, Jr.
mergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2009, 09:06 AM   #640
GoldenDelicious
It's the naughty step 4U!
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: scotland by the sea side
Posts: 403
GoldenDelicious makes people happy simply by logging inGoldenDelicious makes people happy simply by logging inGoldenDelicious makes people happy simply by logging inGoldenDelicious makes people happy simply by logging inGoldenDelicious makes people happy simply by logging inGoldenDelicious makes people happy simply by logging inGoldenDelicious makes people happy simply by logging inGoldenDelicious makes people happy simply by logging inGoldenDelicious makes people happy simply by logging inGoldenDelicious makes people happy simply by logging in
Default

I'd like to chip my two pence worth in with regards to the OP. I am not an FA but if I was I would not be closeted, at least not for long. It's ok for some to feel shy or uneasy about not being 'cool', especially the younger FA's who are still finding themselves. I am not angry at anyone for being a closet FA and I think the reason I have empathy is because I was closeted about my own sexuality and only came out to my family last year despite having (a little) experience with a woman before and finding women attractive. When Mer and I got together she knew I wasn't out and said she did not mind being known as my friend for the short term until we seen where things were going with us, she was very patient and understanding. Because she was like this and put no pressure on me to out myself I felt more comfortable about introducing her to my friends and family.

I was lucky as my coming out experience was made really easy for me and most of my family and friends were very understanding and didn't care, many of them were delighted for me because they had known me single for a long time and given up hope for me,lol

This bares resemblence to me as having empathy with anyone who is closeted about anything, you are closeted because you are worried or scared about the reaction or judgement you will get from others. I don't think true FA's would ever intentionally want to hurt big people and make them feel ashamed or like a dirty secret. I would have felt so sad if mer had thought that's why I didn't tell people about her straight away because it's simply not true.

All this said, if I was to date an FA who wasn't willing to introduce me to friends and family or was embarrassed to be seen in public with me then the relationship would not last and certainly go nowhere.

I think some of the BBW's are right in what they say about society being judgemental enough and we don't need reasons to feel ashamed or bad about ourselves but I think it starts with us not 'acting', being or allowing ourselves to be embarrassed or ashamed of ourselves first. No-one should make anyone else feel inferior regardless of what it's about, race, size, religion, class. I have grown in confidence about my size but that hasn't been easy and it's been a slow process. I'd actually like to remain a BBW but be a couple of dress sizes smaller than I am now. With this feeling that I'd like to be a little smaller I get a lack of confidence in certain situations. Mostly if it involves wearing a swimsuit in a public place, beach or pool. That is my issue and no-one else's fault. Mer loves my body and is not embarrassed to be seen with me any where. If I was with someone who did feel this way I just couldn't date them, simple as that. In my life in general I make a point of not spending time with anyone who makes me feel bad about myself in any way (other than at work where I have no choice,lol).

Wasn't in Elenor Roosevelt who said, 'No man can make another feel inferior without his consent' Wise woman. I don't let anyone else make me feel inferior because I'm not, fat,thin, black, white, whatever and I try never to do anything to make anyone else feel this way either. One of my life philosophies.

All I would say to closeted FA's is, what is cool anyway? who decides? Have a little courage. That being said I don't shout from the rooftops that I'm a lesbian but I tell people when they ask if I have a partner. If I hid that about myself it would be like I thought it was wrong and I don't so why should I hide? It's not wrong to find fat people attractive because some of them are stunningly beautiful just the same as some thin people are stunningly beautiful, besides which it's in the eye of the beholder. One mans trash is another mans treasure. O'h I'm feeling philosophical today.
GoldenDelicious is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2009, 07:28 PM   #641
VVET
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 496
VVET can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesVVET can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesVVET can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default

I remember the 1st date I had with a BBW. She asked if I'd like to go out to a restaurant with her. I remember being thrilled; like normal guys would feel like going out with a model.
That said, I don't go out and make myself known as an FA. If someone at work asks about or wonders about my wife, I'll show them her picture. But otherwise people don't know I've been a member of Naafa, for over 20 years.
VVET is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-16-2009, 10:06 AM   #642
Scorsese86
Likeable conservative
 
Scorsese86's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Sogndal, Norway
Posts: 3,179
Scorsese86 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Scorsese86 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Scorsese86 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Scorsese86 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Scorsese86 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Scorsese86 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Scorsese86 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Scorsese86 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Scorsese86 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Scorsese86 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Scorsese86 has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Random shoot in...

I don't understand why some FA's won't be open about their preferance. Some guys like blondes, some like brunettes. Are there closeted brunette fans? I don't understand it.

I like big girls. When someone asks me what kind of chicks I like, I say I like big, cute girls. End of the story. What's so difficult with that?
__________________
Twenty-twenty-twenty four hours to go I wanna be sedated
Scorsese86 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2009, 02:17 PM   #643
Jesuslme2
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1
Jesuslme2 has said some nice things
Default

I am still at college and a closet FA. i am worried the big girl, who is a couple years younger that i have a crush on will not want to go out with me if i like "fat" for she is always trying to lose weight. i've tried implying i like big curvy women but she looks in disgust. Any tips other than telling her bluntly?
Jesuslme2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2009, 03:15 PM   #644
Rahero2k3
 
Rahero2k3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Connecticut and New Jersey
Posts: 49
Rahero2k3 has said some nice things
Default

I'm not really a closeted FA but I am still new to the FA/BBW experience. By this I mean I haven't really been to the parties (only one) and don't have a circle of friends who are BBWs, SSBBWs and FAs.

I have gone out and tried to have fun but it was weird and akward being there alone. Its hard, I refuse to go to another party without at least one male friend who is an FA as well or a date or girlfriend who is a BBW. As I said going to parties, clubs and bashes alone is weird and akward.

In terms of being judged I don't care about what people think. I've dated BBWs in the past taken them out (IN PUBLIC), show public displays of affection etc. I just want to meet and make more friends who are BBWs, SSBBWs and FAs to share my interests. My current friends wouldn't be caught dead there.

This situation is frustrating and annoying.
Rahero2k3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2009, 04:52 PM   #645
Jon Blaze
Dusk
 
Jon Blaze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Oklahoma City, OK ya dig? ;)
Posts: 6,746
Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!Jon Blaze keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesuslme2 View Post
I am still at college and a closet FA. i am worried the big girl, who is a couple years younger that i have a crush on will not want to go out with me if i like "fat" for she is always trying to lose weight. i've tried implying i like big curvy women but she looks in disgust. Any tips other than telling her bluntly?
Don't tell her bluntly (A), or only bring it up after you've established a framework. That's of course if you want to even aspire to date her, because that situation may or may not be something you can actually counter simply by your preferences, or at all for that matter.

None of the bbws I've ever dated knew about the concept of FAs/BBWs, and I never spoke of it. I mentioned boards and the internet, but not the concept. I don't expect others to understand, and I don't plan on it unless they know (Minus the girl that called me a week ago ). I did eventually tell them that I find larger women attractive, but it was never blunt, and I didn't jump the gun.

*Shrugs* I've never tried to make this any different conceptually than if I were to date any size woman to be honest. With my last ex, it was just clockwork: Became her friend, became a good friend, got her number, asked her out. After that: Dating. BUT that was over three years ago when I had just started college, so... lol

I have to ask though: Is this situation one of the reasons why you're in the closet?
__________________
Love people of all sizes!!! History is sometimes more logical than society.- Me :D

"Happiness is not stopping to think if you are."- Palmer Sondreal
Jon Blaze is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-18-2009, 06:53 PM   #646
kayrae
doot doot doot
 
kayrae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,205
kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!kayrae keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Participating in more threads on DIMs is a start. I met a couple of really cool BBWs, BHMs, and FAs that way. But I also started a thread on the West forum to have meet-ups where I live. And I pretty much love the little DIMs community that we have in the bay. I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to go to any bashes alone. I'd imagine that there are already cliques formed.

So get to posting, Mister!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rahero2k3 View Post
I'm not really a closeted FA but I am still new to the FA/BBW experience. By this I mean I haven't really been to the parties (only one) and don't have a circle of friends who are BBWs, SSBBWs and FAs.

I have gone out and tried to have fun but it was weird and akward being there alone. Its hard, I refuse to go to another party without at least one male friend who is an FA as well or a date or girlfriend who is a BBW. As I said going to parties, clubs and bashes alone is weird and akward.

In terms of being judged I don't care about what people think. I've dated BBWs in the past taken them out (IN PUBLIC), show public displays of affection etc. I just want to meet and make more friends who are BBWs, SSBBWs and FAs to share my interests. My current friends wouldn't be caught dead there.

This situation is frustrating and annoying.
kayrae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-19-2009, 11:52 AM   #647
blackghost75
Smiley is my nickname :)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 68
blackghost75 can now change their title
Default

As an Fa,I've never been in the closet about my preference for plus-size women.
I started dating BBW'S when I was in high school I'm very much out in the open about my preference and love for BBW's and SSBBW'S and I have no problem with tell people what my preference in women is. I'm so much out in the open,that I have no problem going out in public wearing my t-shirt that says "I love fat chicks" I also wear one of my favorite cap that says"BBW Admire" with my nickname stitched on the back "smiley" I do find people who stare and give looks,but I just look back at them!!
blackghost75 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2009, 03:49 AM   #648
Blockierer
FAntastic
 
Blockierer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Germany
Posts: 1,169
Blockierer keeps pushing the rep limit!Blockierer keeps pushing the rep limit!Blockierer keeps pushing the rep limit!Blockierer keeps pushing the rep limit!Blockierer keeps pushing the rep limit!Blockierer keeps pushing the rep limit!Blockierer keeps pushing the rep limit!Blockierer keeps pushing the rep limit!Blockierer keeps pushing the rep limit!Blockierer keeps pushing the rep limit!Blockierer keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by blackghost75 View Post
I'm so much out in the open,that I have no problem going out in public wearing my t-shirt that says "I love fat chicks" I also wear one of my favorite cap that says"BBW Admire" with my nickname stitched on the back "smiley" I do find people who stare and give looks,but I just look back at them!!

If you would like to show it on a website, go to http://www.fat-admirers.com
The SA-community needs guys like you.
__________________
*Blockie*
Blockierer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-2009, 08:50 PM   #649
blackghost75
Smiley is my nickname :)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 68
blackghost75 can now change their title
Default

What burns me up is a closeted fa's that is married to a thin woman and will go to a plus-size event to hook up with a bbw or ssbbw to have on the side! This is the closeted fa I would really love to shoot!!! This is the guy that gives real and true fa's like myself a very bad name. Then there is the closeted fa thats ok ,at being a plus-size event with a bbw or ssbbw,but he doesn't want to be seen in public with her or take her out on a date!
__________________
100% BBW Admirer

Last edited by blackghost75; 03-22-2009 at 08:51 PM. Reason: missed some words
blackghost75 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-2009, 08:54 PM   #650
AnnMarie
✰cuddly and terrifying✰
 
AnnMarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Twirly Girl
Posts: 16,296
AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.AnnMarie has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

There are many more of those "types" of guys online than there are at events. I'm not saying they don't exist, but equating it with event attendance as a unique experience is far from accurate.
__________________
So ... yeah.
AnnMarie is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:54 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.