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Old 10-11-2009, 10:34 PM   #1
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Default FA Myths and Misconceptions

What myths and misconceptions did you have as an FA? What myths and misconceptions do you often hear?

The intent of this thread is to create a short and readable thread, showing common FA myths and dissecting the perceptions or thinking that lead to their existence.

The companion threads will serve as venues for the discussion of the various FA myths. In addition there is a further companion thread for the suggestion of FA myths and misconceptions for future discussion. Each new myth that is chosen for discussion shall have its own thread, with the key elements of each of these thread discussions distilled into a single post here by the editorial group.

That should give all sorts of space for everyone to contribute, without making this thread (or any other specific thread) ridiculously long.

In more detail the intended flow is as follows:

1) A small editorial group will choose the next myth or misconception to be discussed. This should happen about once a week.

2) One of the mods will post the myth in question to this thread, and then create the companion thread to discuss it.

3) The companion thread will invite everyone to throw in whatever thoughts they have around the subject.


4) Once the myth has been discussed, with all contrasting points considered (ideally a process that would take no longer than 2 weeks from the beginning of discussion), the contributions will be distilled down into a focused and comprehensible post by the editorial group - any posters with a strong interest in editing a response to any particular myth can contact the forum mods (Observer and James) to make this known.

5. Unless discussion is considered to be of a continuing productive nature, the myth discussion thread will be closed after 2 weeks and the editing process will begin. This could take another week.

6) When the editorial group is in agreement, one of the mods will post that response back to this thread.


At any one time, there should end up being more than one myth discussion thread on the forum (with one usually being in ‘brainstorming’ stage and one in ‘focusing’ stage). Additionally, there will always be a 'myth suggestion' thread that will remain solely for the purpose of suggesting topics for future discussion.

Last edited by James; 11-20-2009 at 01:01 PM.
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Old 10-11-2009, 11:01 PM   #2
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Default FA Myths and Misconceptions # 1

"all other FA are attracted and turned on by fat in the same way that I am"

This is truly a myth. Physical appearance can range from being the sole determining factor in sexual attraction to being of minor importance. However, for many FAs, a partner’s size is an important determining factor in their sexual attraction to them.

Some FAs consider themselves to be bisizual (a term that indicates that a partner’s degree of fatness is not an especially critical factor in sexual attraction for them). Such FAs may or may not have a preference for partners at either end of the weight spectrum.

It also seems generally true that all FAs, indeed all people (FA or not), have a weight/body type range to which they are attracted. The clearest general difference between FAs and non FAs is that this range tends towards starting at a larger size for FAs than is common for the general population.

Furthermore, many FAs are attracted and turned on by the process of change that occurs as a partner’s body grows larger. Others find no specific appeal in this and are primarily aroused by the fat physique of a partner as it is at present.

In addition, FAs may also show particular preferences for a multitude of fat body types, with distinctions being made between pears, apples, hourglass and other specific types of figure.

Some FAs come to appreciate things which are, for them, associated with fatness, even things that might on their own be seen as negatives (such as difficulty in fitting into a chair or eating large amounts of junk food). However for many other FA these difficulties don’t hold any particular attraction, and may even be considered downsides to dating a larger partner.

FA attraction for fat partners is a common experience that all FAs share as a group, but it also one that we experience individually and in different ways.


[Thanks go to - Tad, Jon Blaze, Webmaster, Jonah-uk, The Orange Mage, Olwen, Rollhander, Musicman, Mergirl, Silver Fox and bbwsrule for their contributions to this topic]
[Editorial group: James, Tad & Observer]

Last edited by James; 11-20-2009 at 01:03 PM.
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Old 10-28-2009, 11:40 AM   #3
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Default FA Myths and Misconceptions # 2

"FAs want their partners to be fat as a way of controlling them and preventing others from being interested in them"

Such a dynamic does exist amongst certain individuals who, for reasons unrelated to an attraction to fat people, feel compelled to exert control over a partner. Whatever the psychological basis of such a behavior, it is probably no more frequent among the FA – BBW/BHM community than any other. Furthermore, for this idea to be true, it assumes that all BBWs are perennial victims who can’t speak up for themselves and who don’t know what they want from their relationships. That is certainly untrue. Indeed, it would also seem logical that such a practice would make no sense in a community where the characteristic of being fat has elevated aesthetic appeal.

While it is far from being universally held, this particular myth is perhaps more prevalent outside of the FA – BBW/BHM community than within it. The origins of this myth may, in part, be sourced to Susie Orbach’s book, “Fat is a Feminist Issue”. In this book, Orbach stated that some men preferred that their wives were fat, so that other men wouldn’t be interested in them and the husband could thus have more control over the wife.

Alternately, the prevalence of this myth may simply reflect the notion that it represents an easier concept for the mainstream to digest than the countercultural idea that fatness can be desirable? Whatever the origins of this myth, it is clear that it is not only a myth for the vast majority of FAs, it is also a myth that makes no practical sense in the context of FAs.


[Thanks go to Jay West Coast, bdog, Rollhander, Tad, Weirdo890, Kioewen, TraciJo,Robovski, Elfcat, bbwsrule and Swamptoad for their contributions to this topic]
[Editorial group: James, Tad & Olwen]

Last edited by James; 11-20-2009 at 01:19 PM.
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Old 10-28-2009, 11:41 AM   #4
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Default FA Myths and Misconceptions # 3

"Gaining weight is not a big deal, if you don't like it you can always lose it again"

Weight gain is a body change that often comes much more easily than weight loss. While losing weight easily is possible for a few, for many it presents a much harder (and sometimes seemingly impossible) challenge. It is thought that people who gain weight easiest are often physiologically predetermined to be the least able to lose it. Gaining weight and losing weight are thus, not equal propositions and to consider them as such is a misrepresentation of the dynamics involved.

The negatives that people face as a result of gaining weight generally range with the degree to which their weight changes. Often, the greater the weight gained, the greater the impact the changes have on a partner’s life. In addition, it is impossible to predict how weight changes will affect a person mentally, despite one’s expectations. Gaining weight is, therefore, unquestionably a big deal and it is disingenuous to trivialize it as a proposition.

In some FA/BHM or FA/BBW relationships, where one or both parties find stimulation in the idea of weight increase, such choices to gain can be taken consensually. However, for an FA to represent weight gain as something that is easily reversed demonstrates a flawed understanding of physiology at best and a manipulative intention towards another human being at worst.


Thanks go to [Webmaster, Jon Blaze, Rollhander, Swamptoad and Tad for their contributions on this topic]
[Editorial Group: James, Tad & Olwen]

Last edited by James; 11-20-2009 at 01:21 PM.
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Old 10-28-2009, 03:04 PM   #5
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Default FA Myths thread # 4

"FAs are more interested in a fat person's body than their personality, character or inner qualities"

This idea is proposed most often of male FAs, and is really a sub-set of the idea that all guys care about in women is how they look, or how they serve to get the guy off. There are some men of whom this is probably true, and more who would make it sound like it is true of them if you listened to their words alone. However over history, across cultures, most men do prefer partners who they like, whose company they enjoy, and who they can get along with in some degree of harmony.

This myth may come up particularly commonly in the BBW/BHM community for a couple of reasons. Some people think that FAs are people who look beyond the ‘flaw’ of their partner’s fat, and so expect them to be less focused on the body—but FA are probably no different from the general population in how much their partner’s look matter to them. In addition many FA who do not feel comfortable talking about their admiration in many settings make up for it when they are in a size accepting setting by being extra effusive about their love of fat (by way of contrast they probably feel comfortable in any setting talking about how nice someone is or how much they enjoy doing things with them, so they have no particular need to talk about those factors in size acceptance settings).

Last edited by James; 01-21-2010 at 07:27 PM.
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Old 11-06-2009, 05:26 PM   #6
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Default FA Myth thread # 5

"Fat Admirers are fetishists and thus tarnish the credibility of the size acceptance movement through their association with it"
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Old 11-20-2009, 01:21 PM   #7
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Default FA Myth thread # 6

"Most FAs choose to indefinitely stay in the closet rather than attempt to forge real life relationships with fat people"

The term ‘closet’ is used, in this case, as a means to describe an FA/FFA who, all else being equal, would not be willing to forge a normal, real life, relationship with a fat person.

Considering the contemporary anti-fat social norms prevalent in much of the world, some FAs (probably a majority) repress their sexuality until they reach a point of personal maturity and self esteem that enables them to overcome the fear of transgressing these norms. A sizeable proportion of FA/FFAs identify as never having been in the closet. It would seem likely that the proportion of such FA/FFAs varies in a manner that positively correlates with the degree of antipathy towards fatness in the area that they grow up.

Anecdotal evidence from many BBWs/BHMs and FAs of both genders would suggest that a significant proportion of FA/FFAs are ‘in the closet’. Indeed, one often hears that a majority of FA/FFAs are in the closet. Whether this is true or not certainly doesn’t mean that those that are in the closet won’t come out in the future.

Webmaster: “This is actually one of the missions of Dimensions, to show young people that it is okay to prefer a fat partner, that there are a lot of people who came out of the closet and lead happy lives, and that the consequences of coming out of the closet may not nearly be as dire as they might think.”

A quick poll on the subject (held here) suggests that approximately 73% of FA/FFA board users consider themselves to be comfortable with their preference/orientation for fat people. Of the remaining 27%, who identify as being in the closet, 10% have no desire to change the situation and 17% would like to ‘come out’.

[Thanks go to - Kioewen,Webmaster, Olwen, Superodalisque, Wrench 13, Tau, Mr Rabbit and Blockerier for their contributions to this topic]

Last edited by James; 01-21-2010 at 11:16 PM.
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Old 12-07-2009, 07:45 PM   #8
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Default

"Being an FA is mutable ('not set in stone'). Correspondingly a non-FA can change to become an FA and vice versa"
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Old 01-21-2010, 11:32 PM   #9
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Default FA Myths thread #8

"The only reason people want to be thin is to attract a partner (and the corollary: once a person is dating an FA/FFA, they have no reason to worry about their weight)"
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