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Old 01-11-2017, 12:45 PM   #1276
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Had a fabulous session with my therapist and did a lot of process around my thoughts the other day. I've got direction on how to improve communication with my fiancé about the thoughts. Now we start tackling the sex stuff :/
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Old 01-11-2017, 01:41 PM   #1277
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Because of an insurance SNAFU, I've gone two weeks without seeing my counselor. This is not good.
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Old 01-11-2017, 05:59 PM   #1278
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Because of an insurance SNAFU, I've gone two weeks without seeing my counselor. This is not good.

That's no good! I hope they sort it out ASAP.
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Old 02-19-2017, 10:42 PM   #1279
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Tonight was a rough night, I got very little sleep the night before, my fiancé's parents made a lot of irritating comments, particularly about the wedding, and when I got home I was just feeling like shit. I feel a little bit better but my anxiety is still super high and I'm keeping intrusive thoughts about cutting at bay. My fiancé goes on a business trip tomorrow and will be gone overnight and I'm a little worried I'm going to spiral. Not worried I'm going to hurt myself, more worried I'll be a sobbing pile.
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Old 02-20-2017, 04:18 PM   #1280
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Tonight was a rough night, I got very little sleep the night before, my fiancé's parents made a lot of irritating comments, particularly about the wedding, and when I got home I was just feeling like shit. I feel a little bit better but my anxiety is still super high and I'm keeping intrusive thoughts about cutting at bay. My fiancé goes on a business trip tomorrow and will be gone overnight and I'm a little worried I'm going to spiral. Not worried I'm going to hurt myself, more worried I'll be a sobbing pile.
Probably a little late but can you make plans to be around people, either going out or over the phone? When I know I'm going to feel bad that is really helpful for me even though my instinct is to withdraw.
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Old 02-20-2017, 10:23 PM   #1281
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Probably a little late but can you make plans to be around people, either going out or over the phone? When I know I'm going to feel bad that is really helpful for me even though my instinct is to withdraw.

I work weird hours so I isn't get home till 9pm. I texted a friend and distracted myself with a movie. I have to sleep soon and the empty bed is the worst part. I don't k ow whether I want to have the dog in the bed or the stuffed animal my fiancé gave me. I can't have both because Archer will eat my stuffed animal.
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Old 02-21-2017, 02:52 PM   #1282
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I hope you are doing better Lille. Hopefully your pup kept you company.
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Old 02-21-2017, 05:21 PM   #1283
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Quote:
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Because of an insurance SNAFU, I've gone two weeks without seeing my counselor. This is not good.
I belatedly hope you got this sorted out. I'm seeing my psychopharmacologist for the first time in months (I'm starting to think my decision-making process is questionable) on Friday and the wait is interminable. I had Xmases as a kid that were easier to make it to...
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Old 02-21-2017, 11:16 PM   #1284
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Archer was a good little cuddle bug and I found a sleep meditation to listen to and got ok sleep. Thank you for your concern everyone.
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Old 09-18-2017, 01:45 PM   #1285
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Sunday was the closest I'd come to feeling suicidal in months. (I realise I'm exceptionally fortunate in saying this: ) When I say suicidal, all I really mean is that I was wishing for it to end, not making any actual plans. There are several reasons why I'm still a far cry from ever actually doing anything...

I'm better for the time being. Quite a bit better. And, although I'm not in love with the idea of taking an Uber by myself at night, I am going back to Al-Anon even if it comes to that.
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Old 09-19-2017, 02:17 AM   #1286
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Sunday was the closest I'd come to feeling suicidal in months. (I realise I'm exceptionally fortunate in saying this: ) When I say suicidal, all I really mean is that I was wishing for it to end, not making any actual plans. There are several reasons why I'm still a far cry from ever actually doing anything...

I'm better for the time being. Quite a bit better. And, although I'm not in love with the idea of taking an Uber by myself at night, I am going back to Al-Anon even if it comes to that.
I'm glad you got through those thoughts and are feeling calmer and stronger now. I'm sure you can achieve anything you put your mind to.
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Old 09-21-2017, 08:07 PM   #1287
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Sunday was the closest I'd come to feeling suicidal in months. (I realise I'm exceptionally fortunate in saying this: ) When I say suicidal, all I really mean is that I was wishing for it to end, not making any actual plans. There are several reasons why I'm still a far cry from ever actually doing anything...

I'm better for the time being. Quite a bit better. And, although I'm not in love with the idea of taking an Uber by myself at night, I am going back to Al-Anon even if it comes to that.
That's awful. I'm glad things are better for the moment. I suppose I'm lucky that I haven't had to deal with family substance issues since I was in my early-teens. Not that it didn't leave a mark, but I can't imagine dealing with it as an adult along with my other issues. You're strong for being able to bear it for so long.
I hope things remain better.
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Old 10-23-2017, 09:08 PM   #1288
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I hope you get pass through it. A friend of mine has been diagnosed with depression as well and I really hope that she gets better too. She's looking for doctors online that can help her. Do you guys have any suggestion about where should my friend be going?

Anyway, you have our support and we'll surely pray for you! Keep fighting!
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Old 10-26-2017, 09:01 PM   #1289
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If they have a primary care doctor I think that would be helpful for getting a referral since doctors often see people dealing with mental difficulties and have worked together with psychologists in treating patients.
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Old 10-26-2017, 09:09 PM   #1290
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Possibly unwelcome levity but like tonight, whenever this is the latest thread in this forum it just reads "I Am Struggling With..." on the main board and this article always makes my mind finish that sentence with "A Gorilla":

https://local.theonion.com/man-dies-...lla-1819571099


As far as metaphors for depression go, "After all, that gorilla is still in their basement” is pretty apt in my experience.
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Old 10-27-2017, 08:02 AM   #1291
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I hope you get pass through it. A friend of mine has been diagnosed with depression as well and I really hope that she gets better too. She's looking for doctors online that can help her. Do you guys have any suggestion about where should my friend be going?

Anyway, you have our support and we'll surely pray for you! Keep fighting!

www.psychologytoday.com has a "find a therapist" page where you can sort by what insurance they take, specialty, etc.
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Old 10-30-2017, 02:33 PM   #1292
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Feeling intensely suicidal. There are still several reasons why I wouldn't act on anything. But Jesus, I wish I could. I've never wanted so badly to stop existing.

Bad day at work, horrendous evening at home. And so the cycle goes. I would give almost anything for some respite, in whatever form.
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Old 11-03-2017, 12:37 AM   #1293
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Feeling intensely suicidal. There are still several reasons why I wouldn't act on anything. But Jesus, I wish I could. I've never wanted so badly to stop existing.

Bad day at work, horrendous evening at home. And so the cycle goes. I would give almost anything for some respite, in whatever form.
Stay with us, Odette.

I know things have been terrible for you recently and I can't blame you for seeing an escape, but stay with us. The joy and grace you can to the world is irreplaceable and it will bring you the same happiness soon.

I've felt what a truly unique and wonderful person you are and the world would be a poorer place without you in it.

If you ever feel like you need an understanding ear, you know I am still here to talk to.
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Old 11-03-2017, 06:42 AM   #1294
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Feeling intensely suicidal. There are still several reasons why I wouldn't act on anything. But Jesus, I wish I could. I've never wanted so badly to stop existing.

Bad day at work, horrendous evening at home. And so the cycle goes. I would give almost anything for some respite, in whatever form.
I'm glad there are reasons why you wouldn't act on it because the world would be a darker place without you. I'm so sorry that you are feeling like this though, nobody deserves to go through that sort of suffering, especially not you.

I'm also here if you need to talk to somebody.
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Old 11-10-2017, 12:28 AM   #1295
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certainly worth skimming over:

http://www.eatthis.com/instant-happiness-foods/


I've struggled with depression too. But I have found that what I eat or avoid eating makes quite a difference.
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Old 11-16-2017, 03:50 PM   #1296
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I've been having a lot of thought recently that I'm on verge (if not already tipped over the edge) of sliding into another depression.

Work stress has been really hard on me for a while now and I'm in a place where mistakes and errors are just brought up constantly and bashed over your head until you're out cold. A couple of big issues are just weighing heavily on me and draining me on a daily basis.

I'm reminded a lot that I'm doing a good job, getting great feedback... But the actual evidence says otherwise. For reasons I can't go into, I feel set up for failure and was dealt a losing hand since I joined the company.

On top of that I'm worried about an upcoming consultation at hospital. I might (I suspect probably do) have sleep apnea. If it's confirmed I'll be able to wrap up alot of symptoms in a neat little parcel but it also means it's just another thing to worry about. Honestly I just feel like I'm broken at the moment.

Add various other personal foibles and my mind isn't coping well. I know it's nothing compared to some people but I'm struggling to keep all my ducks in a row right now.
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Old 11-16-2017, 09:44 PM   #1297
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certainly worth skimming over:

http://www.eatthis.com/instant-happiness-foods/


I've struggled with depression too. But I have found that what I eat or avoid eating makes quite a difference.
This is quite true.
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Old Yesterday, 03:19 AM   #1298
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Just came across this thread. I've struggled with depression too (more so after my dad passed away).. Going through a divorce in 1996 didn't help at all because I turned to drinking as a solution, which only created a bigger problem. Sometimes we try anything that we think will help us with those problems, eventually we find out they make the problem worse (which I found out faster than some do). I ended up in counseling for the problem and today it's a whole lot better than ever before. I struggle mostly now from what they call seasonal depression, the counselor told me this happens when you seem to have no place to go home to for the holidays and most family members are gone. I was told to get around positive people, listen to music that would encourage and not discourage me, when feeling empty to turn to someone who would listen and be there.. today I have a wonderful friend who stepped into my life who I call, sometimes I go over and pick her up and we hang out and talk and it sure does help, now in return I am there for her since she just lost her husband in August of this year. Talking to someone who has gone through things and knows where you are coming from sure helps, it's not only the counselors. Try hard to stay away from things that are depressing, find ways to help others is what I do and it's certainly helped me a lot..most of all find you a support team even if it is only one person who can help you through the really rough days.. Cry if you must to empty the bad feelings and be open and honest about how you truly feel with the person or team you have, chances are they have been there and can help you.
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Old Yesterday, 08:49 PM   #1299
Cobra Verde
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Originally Posted by rellis10 View Post
On top of that I'm worried about an upcoming consultation at hospital. I might (I suspect probably do) have sleep apnea. If it's confirmed I'll be able to wrap up alot of symptoms in a neat little parcel but it also means it's just another thing to worry about. Honestly I just feel like I'm broken at the moment.
I went through the same thing a couple years ago with sleep apnea. Everything from the consultation to the test to dealing with my insurance to physically going and acquiring a CPAP machine to the first month of using it was overwhelmingly stressful. It ended up being one of the best things I ever did, though. It began to change me within mere weeks. If you do have apnea then knowing and getting it treated will be a great thing for you, physically and mentally, and will help you feel less depressed. It turns out sleeping properly is kind of important for the brain to function normally. Go fig.
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