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Old 12-11-2016, 07:42 PM   #1
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Default Do thick girls make skinny guys uncomfortable because they're thicker than they are?

Do they feel emasculated or like the girl's thickness accentuates their thinness?
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Old 12-12-2016, 07:03 AM   #2
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Not at all. Not for me, anyway. I'm lean (not really "skinny") and my wife outweighs me by a significant number of pounds and even though she is shorter is visibly "larger" than me. I don't feel emasculated at all by this. It actually makes me feel really good and excited to be married to such and awesome woman.
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Old 12-12-2016, 07:35 AM   #3
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Do any guys feel this way? Almost for sure. Is it common? I don't think so. At least, you don't hear about such feelings around here much.

When you think about it, you'd have to have a conjunction of multiple viewpoints, I think, to make this a thing.
- that largeness is somehow a masculine trait
- that your masculinity is heavily tied in to this specific aspect of what you view as masculine.
- that your masculinity can be threatened or reduced by external factors like that
- that you pay much attention to your perceived masculinity

Or maybe I'm missing something?
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Old 12-12-2016, 08:04 AM   #4
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When you think about it, you'd have to have a conjunction of multiple viewpoints, I think, to make this a thing.
- that largeness is somehow a masculine trait
- that your masculinity is heavily tied in to this specific aspect of what you view as masculine.
- that your masculinity can be threatened or reduced by external factors like that
- that you pay much attention to your perceived masculinity
This pretty well describes the majority of men where I live. I think one reason they rag on men with larger girlfriends is because the woman is perceived as having the masculine quality (large size) of the pair. They are teasing the guy for being -- in their view, at least -- effeminate.
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Old 12-12-2016, 08:14 AM   #5
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This pretty well describes the majority of men where I live. I think one reason they rag on men with larger girlfriends is because the woman is perceived as having the masculine quality (large size) of the pair. They are teasing the guy for being -- in their view, at least -- effeminate.
I am boggled. Not that a guy with a fat girlfriend would get ragged on -- that is still an unfortunate reality in our society -- but from that particular approach being common.
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Old 12-13-2016, 12:53 PM   #6
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My boyfriend feels happy that I'm thicker than him and always touch and play with my curves and I'm quite happy I have very big breasts/hips, it makes me feel more feminine and he also thinks that it's more feminine! (also he doesn't like girls smaller than him!)
I think is personal.
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Old 12-13-2016, 02:43 PM   #7
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The mere notion of this boggles the mind. I could see a guy not wanting to date a stronger or more mechanically adept* woman over emasculation issues, but sheer mass?

*Chicks with mechanical skills are hot. Muscle-y ones not so much, but not because of feelings of emasculation.
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Old 12-13-2016, 02:56 PM   #8
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To me it would be a sign that he isn't secure in his manliness.Not good.
Worries too much about what other guys think of him.Not good again.
He needs to man up and love his big beautiful woman !!!
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Old 12-13-2016, 03:02 PM   #9
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The mere notion of this boggles the mind. I could see a guy not wanting to date a stronger or more mechanically adept* woman over emasculation issues, but sheer mass?

*Chicks with mechanical skills are hot. Muscle-y ones not so much, but not because of feelings of emasculation.
I would hasten to add that the part in white is your opinion -- plenty of guys like strong women! And plenty of FA like the combination of fat and muscles.
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Old 12-13-2016, 10:30 PM   #10
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I would hasten to add that the part in white is your opinion -- plenty of guys like strong women! And plenty of FA like the combination of fat and muscles.
I guess that would depend on the level of muscularity ... as for strength do you consider an athletic BBW along the lines of Weightlifting and Track and Field-but, that is another issue
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Old 12-14-2016, 12:02 AM   #11
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I would hasten to add that the part in white is your opinion -- plenty of guys like strong women! And plenty of FA like the combination of fat and muscles.
But of course!

And there's nothing wrong with a strong woman, I just have an aesthetic turn-off for highly visible musculature in women. Particularly abs.

ETA: Obvious corollary: Strong/fit women with fat covering their muscle = yum.
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Old 12-14-2016, 02:35 AM   #12
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I find it more a turn on if he is the muscular/strong one and I'm the fatty, like I'm super plump, but he can lift me. He too. Maybe I'm just lucky I'm short in size!
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Old 12-14-2016, 06:50 AM   #13
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I find it more a turn on if he is the muscular/strong one and I'm the fatty, like I'm super plump, but he can lift me. He too. Maybe I'm just lucky I'm short in size!
I'm so with you on this! I love being fit and partnered with a woman of my wife's shape and size. It's an insanely beautiful combination. My wife, while not happy with her own body, does really seem to love mine.

To Tad'a point about people being ragged on, I have indeed experienced it. I've seen a lot of people make assumptions about me due to my preferences but it doesn't really bother me. I've also experienced people show a lot of support and open mindedness; an ability to acknowledge that everyone is different and likes different things. There's no need to be insecure about it. Like what you like, pursue it, and be happy!
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Old 12-14-2016, 06:53 AM   #14
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I'm so with you on this! I love being fit and partnered with a woman of my wife's shape and size. It's an insanely beautiful combination. My wife, while not happy with her own body, does really seem to love mine.

To Tad'a point about people being ragged on, I have indeed experienced it. I've seen a lot of people make assumptions about me due to my preferences but it doesn't really bother me. I've also experienced people show a lot of support and open mindedness; an ability to acknowledge that everyone is different and likes different things. There's no need to be insecure about it. Like what you like, pursue it, and be happy!
I'm happy you agree and I also agree with what you said "like what you like, pursue it, and be happy!" another version of Live and Let Live in Italian is "vivi e lascia vivere" I hope I have translated it right!
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Old 12-14-2016, 10:32 AM   #15
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I guess that would depend on the level of muscularity ... as for strength do you consider an athletic BBW along the lines of Weightlifting and Track and Field-but, that is another issue
I consider that my personal kryponite. I instantly go ga-ga for the big, tall muscular BBW's like weight lifters, power lifters, and throwers.
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Old 12-16-2016, 07:33 PM   #16
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Do they feel emasculated or like the girl's thickness accentuates their thinness?
Man, I had never felt anything close to that before. I'm skinny… I mean, almost freakishly so! Being with a large woman made me feel no more or less masculine.
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Old 12-16-2016, 10:17 PM   #17
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I consider that my personal kryponite. I instantly go ga-ga for the big, tall muscular BBW's like weight lifters, power lifters, and throwers.
Absolutely...A pst Ex years ago was a High School Shot Putter.

Now, in terms of my current situation and dynamics... As for me I am a BHM and my Significant Sweetie is a SSBBW. I like the fact that she enjoys going to the gym. We each do our own specific workout which is tailored to our own specific needs and goals.

It's good for both the physical and mental health.
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Old 12-17-2016, 07:47 AM   #18
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Are you asking about thin guys who are or are not FAs? I suspect there is a back story to where this question is coming from. I am curious if the above answers are giving you the answer you wanted. Because this is on the main board rather than the FA board, I was wondering.

I read a research article about 6 years ago about why FA’s might prefer a fat partner. Most of the theories were funny or borderline offensive, one of the possible reasons was as a political statement. My penis makes few political statements. The one I thought I would agree with the most was viewing a fat female as a sign of hyper-femininity, for example wider hips/larger breasts.

As a muscular/lean FA, there is nothing about a fat woman that I see as masculine. I would say that when it comes to flirting I get far more excited to flirt with a fat woman than a thin woman. It almost borders intimidated, though that is really the wrong word. It’s a lot easier to flirt with someone when you are not interested, no pressure.
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Old 12-17-2016, 11:47 AM   #19
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I think for men who equate their sexuality with me larg(er/est) in the relationship, a larger woman could make feel a lack of maculinity.

As an FFA i find the size of a BHM more masculine than thin men. Not that thin men are emasculated by their size, but something in a BHM makes me feel more femanine in comparison, if that makes sense.

OP is this in regards to a specific situation? I ask because if th BBW is outspoken for example, it could be the way she acts vs her size. Or maybe he is embarassed in a given situation but not at home? Way too many undefined variables, and the question is quite general.
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Old 12-17-2016, 02:27 PM   #20
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Are you asking about thin guys who are or are not FAs? I suspect there is a back story to where this question is coming from. I am curious if the above answers are giving you the answer you wanted. Because this is on the main board rather than the FA board, I was wondering.
This is a good question for OP and I hope he'll revisit this thread and elaborate. And you raise a good point about the answers for FAs and non-FAs likely being highly different. Still, it would be hard to convince me that non-FAs don't like fat women because they're intimidated. You and I are both into fitness for ourselves but personally prefer fat woman. But a lot of the men I work out alongside (and I'm sure many in your gym as well) have no interest in fat women. Some of them are nasty about it, true enough, but many just want a partner who's interests are similar to his and who is willing to put the work into her body he does his. While that's not for me personally I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.

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I read a research article about 6 years ago about why FA’s might prefer a fat partner. Most of the theories were funny or borderline offensive, one of the possible reasons was as a political statement. My penis makes few political statements. The one I thought I would agree with the most was viewing a fat female as a sign of hyper-femininity, for example wider hips/larger breasts.
I've seen so much go into answering the question of why some men like fat women and I agree it's reached a point where it's become offensive. As if you need to commission a high-dollar study to figure out something that amounts to basic preference! I guess it's just too difficult for some people to understand: some of us actually WANT a fat partner! There isn't some deep psychological explanation for it; it's as simple as preferences vary person to person. I personally appreciate women of all shapes, sizes and ethnicities. But I noticed something at a very young age: while I liked what I saw out of a lot of different body types, my penis was telling me what I really liked. And for a good part of my life I tried to change that. I was attracted to fat women but wished like hell I wasn't. While I believe we are all free to make choices and can change a lot about ourselves over time, I also think there's a lot about our preferences that are hard wired in. While that doesn't mean we don't own our own decisions, I believe it predisposes us to like certain things and dislike others. And for whatever reason I just like fat women.

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As a muscular/lean FA, there is nothing about a fat woman that I see as masculine. I would say that when it comes to flirting I get far more excited to flirt with a fat woman than a thin woman. It almost borders intimidated, though that is really the wrong word. It’s a lot easier to flirt with someone when you are not interested, no pressure.
I believe a woman of any shape and size can be masculine. I don't think it's necessarily size related. And I get what you're saying about the flirting thing. I have a coworker who is extremely popular with a lot of men in and around us. A while back I mentioned to her that I like bigger women and that my wife was a plus size woman. She admitted a couple things: that it explained why I never flirted with her (she admitted that she knew it made her sound egotistical, so don't be too hard on her!) and she also realized it was a professional compliment to her because it underscored I valued her for her professionalism and had no underlying motivations.

On an aside, when my wife met this same woman she told me, "You can flirt with her all day. She's a cutie, but I know she's not a threat!" I've not started flirting with this person and don't intend to, but my wife is fun like that!
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Old 12-17-2016, 02:31 PM   #21
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I think for men who equate their sexuality with me larg(er/est) in the relationship, a larger woman could make feel a lack of maculinity.

As an FFA i find the size of a BHM more masculine than thin men. Not that thin men are emasculated by their size, but something in a BHM makes me feel more femanine in comparison, if that makes sense.

OP is this in regards to a specific situation? I ask because if th BBW is outspoken for example, it could be the way she acts vs her size. Or maybe he is embarassed in a given situation but not at home? Way too many undefined variables, and the question is quite general.
I can appreciate this. Many years ago I was dating a woman whose step sister was a physical therapist employed by the Carolina Panthers. This woman was over 6 feet tall, thick, muscular, strong, fit, etc... When I met her I asked her if she liked working for an NFL team and she said, "I LOVE IT! I love being around all those players because they make me feel petite!" I'm 5'7" and at the time was probably around 150 pounds. I wouldn't have been much more than an appetizer for her!
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Old 12-18-2016, 08:01 AM   #22
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This is a good question for OP and I hope he'll revisit this thread and elaborate. And you raise a good point about the answers for FAs and non-FAs likely being highly different. Still, it would be hard to convince me that non-FAs don't like fat women because they're intimidated. You and I are both into fitness for ourselves but personally prefer fat woman. But a lot of the men I work out alongside (and I'm sure many in your gym as well) have no interest in fat women. Some of them are nasty about it, true enough, but many just want a partner who's interests are similar to his and who is willing to put the work into her body he does his. While that's not for me personally I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.



I've seen so much go into answering the question of why some men like fat women and I agree it's reached a point where it's become offensive. As if you need to commission a high-dollar study to figure out something that amounts to basic preference! I guess it's just too difficult for some people to understand: some of us actually WANT a fat partner! There isn't some deep psychological explanation for it; it's as simple as preferences vary person to person. I personally appreciate women of all shapes, sizes and ethnicities. But I noticed something at a very young age: while I liked what I saw out of a lot of different body types, my penis was telling me what I really liked. And for a good part of my life I tried to change that. I was attracted to fat women but wished like hell I wasn't. While I believe we are all free to make choices and can change a lot about ourselves over time, I also think there's a lot about our preferences that are hard wired in. While that doesn't mean we don't own our own decisions, I believe it predisposes us to like certain things and dislike others. And for whatever reason I just like fat women.



I believe a woman of any shape and size can be masculine. I don't think it's necessarily size related. And I get what you're saying about the flirting thing. I have a coworker who is extremely popular with a lot of men in and around us. A while back I mentioned to her that I like bigger women and that my wife was a plus size woman. She admitted a couple things: that it explained why I never flirted with her (she admitted that she knew it made her sound egotistical, so don't be too hard on her!) and she also realized it was a professional compliment to her because it underscored I valued her for her professionalism and had no underlying motivations.

On an aside, when my wife met this same woman she told me, "You can flirt with her all day. She's a cutie, but I know she's not a threat!" I've not started flirting with this person and don't intend to, but my wife is fun like that!
I can easily recognize which women are conventionally attractive, but have no interest in the ones who are not at least a bit chubby (in a relationship manner). I realized I was attracted to fat women around the age of 5. I don’t remember most of the interactions that thought me that I am not supposed to like fat women, but they really just taught me to hide that I did like fat women. I spent a great deal of time, trying to convince or train myself to like thin women. Around the time I was in junior high I gave up on the hope that I would want to miss use Victoria Secret catalogs, as many jokes on tv implied that is what teenagers do. Though I was still in the closet and dating athletic girls for about the next 5 years.

I view a fat woman as being a sign of hyper-femininity based solely upon looks. Though their personality and attitude maybe masculine. I would say I get more of a rush from flirting with a larger woman, due to being more nervous. I could say that I see a ssbbw’s size as being intimidating, but that still comes down to looks and rarity. Are you saying just based just on looks you see them as more masculine? As we have a lot of similar view and experience, I often wonder where we differ.

I have had my share of attractive thin women confused about why I am not flirting or return flirting with them. As I implied in the thin women jealous of fat women thread, I just think that is normal. My response varies from showing a picture of my girlfriend, just saying I like fat women, or flirting for about a minute and then returning to treating them just like a regular person.
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Old 12-18-2016, 08:09 AM   #23
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I think for men who equate their sexuality with me larg(er/est) in the relationship, a larger woman could make feel a lack of maculinity.

As an FFA i find the size of a BHM more masculine than thin men. Not that thin men are emasculated by their size, but something in a BHM makes me feel more femanine in comparison, if that makes sense.

OP is this in regards to a specific situation? I ask because if th BBW is outspoken for example, it could be the way she acts vs her size. Or maybe he is embarassed in a given situation but not at home? Way too many undefined variables, and the question is quite general.
I think that view is at least somewhat common outside of FFAs. A lot of sitcoms have had fat male leads (probably stand up comedians, whose appearance doesn’t seem to matter as much as normal actors), with a thin wife that looks like a model.
When I did play American football in junior high and high school, I hated doing drills with the big guys. Even if they were not muscular, they hit hard and were very hard to stop.
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Old 12-18-2016, 11:21 AM   #24
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I view a fat woman as being a sign of hyper-femininity based solely upon looks. Though their personality and attitude maybe masculine. I would say I get more of a rush from flirting with a larger woman, due to being more nervous. I could say that I see a ssbbw’s size as being intimidating, but that still comes down to looks and rarity. Are you saying just based just on looks you see them as more masculine? As we have a lot of similar view and experience, I often wonder where we differ.
No, not at all. I'm saying I don't associate masculinity or femininity directly with size. I've met masculine females of all shapes in sizes: both in their appearance and their demeanor. The same can be said for super feminine women: they come in all shapes and sizes. I don't necessarily think bigger women are more feminine just because they're bigger.
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Old 12-22-2016, 12:09 PM   #25
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I'm so with you on this! I love being fit and partnered with a woman of my wife's shape and size. It's an insanely beautiful combination. My wife, while not happy with her own body, does really seem to love mine.

To Tad'a point about people being ragged on, I have indeed experienced it. I've seen a lot of people make assumptions about me due to my preferences but it doesn't really bother me. I've also experienced people show a lot of support and open mindedness; an ability to acknowledge that everyone is different and likes different things. There's no need to be insecure about it. Like what you like, pursue it, and be happy!

I've noticed that a lot of folks believe it to be "hypocritical" of a fat woman to have a preference for a fit man. They seem to, in my view, confuse preference with entitlement. Just because a fat woman prefers fit partners, that does not mean she believes she is owed one and fat men are, therefore, ugly.


You can have a preference for a certain body type but that does not mean that others are yucky. Sheesh.

There is a super large woman by the name of Dankii Doll who supposedly has a fit boyfriend named Andrew. I say "supposedly" because I cannot verify if he really is her man, since I don't know her. She has been accused of paying this dude to pretend to be her mate but that does not surprise me due to the fatphobic society in which we live. Many people cannot wrap their minds around even the possibility that a fit person would find a fat person to be appealing physically, hence the accusations. They think there is something "wrong" with a guy like Andrew or he is such a kind person that he has looked past her appearance and loves her for who she is.

I can kinda understand the skepticism because such a body combination is not commonly seen in real life. There could be a lot more fit dudebros who are attracted to fat bodies than we realize but they cannot or will not admit it due to social stigma and the high status they hold in the eyes of the world. I can't say for certain. Sometimes I think maybe a fit body and fat body combo are possible but another part of me wonders if guys like you are rare and an exception to the rule, since most things in life aren't absolute.


Dankii once made a video about how she prefers fit men. She didn't say she is entitled to date a fit man and that, therefore, fat men are ugly. She simply has a preference like everyone else. She claimed that she tried dating fat men but it just wasn't for her. So what?

Boy, did she get raked through the coals in the comments section!

I can all but 100% guarantee you that, if Dankii were thin and made the exact same video, she'd get little to no backlash.
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