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Old 07-01-2007, 08:28 PM   #1
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Default New Fda Approved 'weight Loss Pill"

http://www.myalli.com

Apparently it's an FDA approved weight loss pill. So lame. It's pronounced "ally" as in. France didn't want to be an ally with USA lol
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Old 07-01-2007, 08:53 PM   #2
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Default

FandP, this is just a generic of Xenical. Yes, that nasty drug with all the nasty side effects. If you search "alli," you'll find a couple other threads about it in the last couple weeks. Hope that helps!
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Old 07-01-2007, 09:19 PM   #3
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Cool

I can only hope this fiasco somehow makes money for someone I like.
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Old 07-02-2007, 09:18 AM   #4
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i can only hope this fiasco makes embarrasing "treatment effect*" situations for someone i don't like.











*for those who don't know and didn't click on the link above, the "treatment effects" of this drug include regularly pooping your pants. they recommend carrying along an extra set of pants wherever you go while you're on the drug.
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Old 07-02-2007, 05:06 PM   #5
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Default

Alli blocks "bad fats." (Not carbs- which isn't going to help if you eat a lot of carbs).

However, blocking the bad fats isn't the end of the story. The new miracle drug actually blocks absorption of "good" fats like Omega 3 fatty acids. It also blocks absorption of vitamins like C and D. Low levels of Vitamin D are correlated with increases in depression, breast cancer, osteoporosis, gum disease, and other health problems.

Then, if you "use it improperly," (eating something with too much fat, for example), you'll end up pooping your pants.

Fat loss averages out to about a pound a month. You could get that if you increased your exercise a bit, or ate 1000 less calories a week. I'd rather exercise a little more than wear diapers.
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Old 07-02-2007, 06:03 PM   #6
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Sooner or later, it will turn out that it makes your kidneys fail, or your heart, or your lungs, or kills you in some other interesting way.

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Old 07-02-2007, 07:04 PM   #7
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Zulu predicts:

It'll be pulled by the end of the year.

All that green dung...well you know
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Old 07-02-2007, 07:36 PM   #8
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It blocks 25% of fats. A gram of fat is worth nine calories.

Let's indulge the diet industry a moment, and give them a great scenario.

A lb. is 3500 calories.

Let's say I'm eating 100 grams of fat a day. Anytime you see me, my neck is deep in a potato chip bag. Munch, munch, munch.

Alli is cutting 225 calories a day from my diet. That's 1575 calories a week. Less than half a lb.

That's 23 lbs. in a year, assuming you grossly overeat. For someone eating the recommended diet of 65 grams of fat a day, they'll lose about 16.

There's nothing remarkable about Alli. Nothing.
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Old 07-06-2007, 12:09 AM   #9
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It blocks 25% of fats. A gram of fat is worth nine calories.

Let's indulge the diet industry a moment, and give them a great scenario.

A lb. is 3500 calories.

Let's say I'm eating 100 grams of fat a day. Anytime you see me, my neck is deep in a potato chip bag. Munch, munch, munch.

Alli is cutting 225 calories a day from my diet. That's 1575 calories a week. Less than half a lb.

That's 23 lbs. in a year, assuming you grossly overeat. For someone eating the recommended diet of 65 grams of fat a day, they'll lose about 16.

There's nothing remarkable about Alli. Nothing.
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Old 07-06-2007, 01:11 AM   #10
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"You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens."

"You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work."

lollollollol

I have read these two sentences on the website a million and one times and I still laugh out loud every time.
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Old 07-06-2007, 02:00 AM   #11
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Default

Yea, another one of those "gas with an oily discharge" side effects. Last time I checked, that was just fancy talk for sh-ting yourself.
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Old 07-07-2007, 03:14 AM   #12
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Default "side effects"

I'll bet the dry cleaners lobby pressed the FDA hard for release of this product! When enough people sh*t their pants over minimal weight loss, maybe they will realize that being pudgy ain't so bad after all.

This is so typical of the american psyche- take a magic bill to obtain instant results while investing no effort.
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Old 07-07-2007, 03:23 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
"You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens."

"You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work."

lollollollol

I have read these two sentences on the website a million and one times and I still laugh out loud every time.
Looking good is all that matters! Wow, you're slim! You just shit your pant's AGAIN, but you look fantastic!

No, I don't need to lose weight that badly.
I don't think ANYONE does. I think people who take this drug have an obligation to tell the rest of us.... so we don't have to share a seating arrangement with them. So we know not to play "the fart game" with them.
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Old 07-07-2007, 04:37 AM   #14
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Wow, you're slim! You just shit your pant's AGAIN, but you look fantastic!

Why, thank you! Now, pardon me while I go change into yet another pair of dark pants
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Old 07-07-2007, 11:18 AM   #15
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Gives new meaning to the term "wet fart".
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Old 07-07-2007, 12:43 PM   #16
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I can't help but think that this pill actually does NOTHING for you but make you shit your pants. So you're never going to eat due to the fear. That's really great.

A friend of mine said that she's going to get this, and I think that I was so shocked and horrified that I wasn't very nice about it.

Really, though. AWFUL.

Let's shame people who aren't the "ideal" weight by having them shit themselves in public! h
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Old 07-07-2007, 01:21 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
"You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens."

"You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work."

lollollollol

I have read these two sentences on the website a million and one times and I still laugh out loud every time.
Ivy, Jon Stewart read those parts on air a couple of weeks ago or so, and made some hilarious commentary. First time I'd heard of the stupid drug. Why anyone would want to take this drug escapes me. It's not only for the desperate, but the stupid.
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Old 07-07-2007, 01:24 PM   #18
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Ivy, Jon Stewart read those parts on air a couple of weeks ago or so, and made some hilarious commentary. First time I'd heard of the stupid drug. Why anyone would want to take this drug escapes me. It's not only for the desperate, but the stupid.
Here's what doesn't make sense: If you're so uncomfortable with your body that you're willing to ingest a possibly dangerous drug to change it, then your problems are very much shame-related.

What could cause more shame than explosive public shitting? It boggles the mind.

In totally unrelated news, I could not be more in love with Jon Stewart if I tried.
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Old 07-07-2007, 01:51 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
"You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens."

"You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work."

lollollollol

I have read these two sentences on the website a million and one times and I still laugh out loud every time.
This reminds me of the olestra in fat-free pringles-- holy smoke.....yeah, I want THAT in pill form....
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Old 07-07-2007, 01:56 PM   #20
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Here's what doesn't make sense: If you're so uncomfortable with your body that you're willing to ingest a possibly dangerous drug to change it, then your problems are very much shame-related.

What could cause more shame than explosive public shitting? It boggles the mind.

In totally unrelated news, I could not be more in love with Jon Stewart if I tried.
I tell ya, Jon is a total chick magnet. Not sure I've ever met a woman who wasn't hot for him in some way.

I hear you on the other stuff, though. And the possibly worst part about it socially? You've then become the hideous Fat Bastard stereotype of the flatulent, shitty fat person. Yay.
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Old 07-07-2007, 02:01 PM   #21
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I hear you on the other stuff, though. And the possibly worst part about it socially? You've then become the hideous Fat Bastard stereotype of the flatulent, shitty fat person. Yay.
YES! If you want to talk anti-fat conspiracy, look no further. Man. Let's see how badly we can make people feel about themselves?

The warning on the side of the bottle should just say: EXPLOSIVE PUBLIC SHITTING. MAY MAKE YOU HATE YOURSELF.

Jon Stewart is all I want in a man. Funny, hotter than all get out, Jewish. Hi, please let's get married. And you're right, it seems to be a common emotion.
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Old 07-08-2007, 11:20 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
"You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens."

"You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work."

lollollollol

I have read these two sentences on the website a million and one times and I still laugh out loud every time.
That is so gross and hilarious!!
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Old 07-09-2007, 12:29 AM   #23
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How ya doin? I'm fairly new to the forums but I saw your name and knew it had to be you! I'm doing good, I just became a Toil Girl!

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Old 07-09-2007, 12:47 PM   #24
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Howdy Angel! Things are going well here. Pretty much the same old stuff. Well Max is in school now Congrats on becoming a toil girl I dream that some day i will scrape the dough together to do it
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Old 07-09-2007, 03:58 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by T_Devil View Post
Gives new meaning to the term "wet fart".
Keep up with the times, man.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shart



Oopsie!

Last edited by saucywench; 07-09-2007 at 04:04 PM.
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