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Old 09-11-2012, 06:53 AM   #76
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I am just sexual.
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Old 11-23-2012, 01:22 PM   #77
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So, I have a question. I think I am bisexual, basically because I am really fickle and kinda go in shifts on who I am attracted to, men or women. My question is, is that normal? Sometimes your in a male mood, sometimes in a female mood? Am I just weird?

BTW I am not really out outside of the internet, I have only been in one relationship so, I am kinda new to everything....
i relate to this
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Old 11-24-2012, 12:44 PM   #78
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My question is, is that normal? Sometimes your in a male mood, sometimes in a female mood? Am I just weird?
I definitely go from male to female mode. Ironically I end up with more men than I do women, but I am way more attracted to women.
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Old 11-24-2012, 11:52 PM   #79
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Agreed. I tend to end up with more men that want me to facilitate kinky and/or group sex for them. Like all bisexual people are in an exclusive club and know each other like best FWB.

I identify more on the lesbian side of bi, but women are harder to get (for me at least) than men. I run into the anti-bi stigmas more than I don't encounter them.
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Old 11-27-2012, 03:16 PM   #80
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I'm not bi-sexual at all but I've always wanted to date a guy that was bi.
I was hoping to meet a guy from the Dims board that is bi but that fell through.

I hope for anyone that is struggling to figure out if they are truly bi or not is able to figure out that you don't have to label yourself one way or the other.

As many have already said.. just go with the flow and hopefully you will meet someone that is excited about the fact that you like both but at the very least understanding and accepting. I'm sure there are more women like me that would enjoy being in a long term relationship with a man that is bi.. but have an occassional twist and enjoy having another man in bed once in a while.. or at least let me be in the same room so I can enjoy from watching

yes, I'm a perv and I love it just hope to find my other half that's also a bit of a kink but of course it's not a deal breaker.
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Old 12-15-2012, 04:04 AM   #81
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I prefer women. But not scared to say that I am bi. Larger women but skinny guys.....
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Old 04-16-2014, 01:23 AM   #82
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lots of people have different preferences at different times! whats gender anyways! just have fun
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Old 05-11-2014, 02:27 PM   #83
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I definitely go through phases when I desire one sex more than the other. And I seem to have gotten more prone to desire BHMs sexually than my wife the older I get. For the record, she is not a SSBBW (though she is plump), which is my preference when it comes to women. I love her but my bisexuality and preference for SSBBWs (and BHMs) can definitely get in the way ...
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Old 05-14-2014, 03:55 PM   #84
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There isn't a set preference but generally speaking I prefer females for romantic relationships and every one else for "nonromantic" relationships. That being said I usually only have those interactions with other makes that have a similar opinion.

No broken hearts that way.
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Old 05-14-2014, 05:57 PM   #85
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Originally Posted by mediaboy View Post
There isn't a set preference but generally speaking I prefer females for romantic relationships and every one else for "nonromantic" relationships. That being said I usually only have those interactions with other makes that have a similar opinion.

No broken hearts that way.
You said this better than I could have. After thinking on it for awhile, I think I'm the same way. Aside from a few fleeting crushes on women, I've only felt serious romantic connections with men. I feel like I probably could have a romantic relationship with a woman, but encountering someone who evokes that sentiment is far rarer.

I think it's pretty interesting that romantic preferences and sexual preferences can deviate from each other so significantly. It makes me question the spectrum of sex/gender-related sexuality vs. FA sexuality. In terms of automatic sexual arousal, it only happens with fat men or women for me. I can recognize thin women as attractive, but only feel any sort of sexual inclination in an already-sexual/physical situation. And I only feel any sort of sexual inclination towards thin men in a demisexual way - I have to be utterly [romantcially] smitten with them. Which I don't think I can maintain, given that most physical contact with thin men is displeasurable to me. Genitalia's never really mattered to me - it depends a lot more on how someone chooses to portray themselves.

Given that it hasn't been touched on in this thread (though it may have been in other threads,) it'd be cool to hear about other people's experience with the romantic/sexual split.
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Old 05-15-2014, 06:08 AM   #86
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Mediaboy, Amaranthine, really interesting way of looking at it. I suspect I may be somewhat similar, but had never really thought of it in these terms. Something to think about about (thank you, btw, I love having something like this to think about! Such a nice change from "so how do you scrape off peeling paint from the upper part of the wall above a stairway, without building scaffolding?").
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Old 05-15-2014, 06:39 AM   #87
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I consider myself sapiosexual....I'm attracted to intelligence.....I like an inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind...someone with a quick wit and a evil sense of humor....

Boy, Girl, Gay, Straight, Bi or transgender....

As an artist I've always been equally attracted to both men and women....

So I've never limited myself to one particular race/gender/orientation.

That said, I've had more relationships with men...not by choice, that is just how it has worked out....

Ultimately I'm attracted to the person, the packaging is just bonus.
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Old 05-15-2014, 06:09 PM   #88
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I consider myself sapiosexual....I'm attracted to intelligence.....I like an inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind...someone with a quick wit and a evil sense of humor....

Boy, Girl, Gay, Straight, Bi or transgender....

As an artist I've always been equally attracted to both men and women....

So I've never limited myself to one particular race/gender/orientation.

That said, I've had more relationships with men...not by choice, that is just how it has worked out....

Ultimately I'm attracted to the person, the packaging is just bonus.
Are you also a-sexual?

I ask because while I am attracted to wit and reason I'm not about to Fuck Steven hawking
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Old 05-16-2014, 07:45 AM   #89
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Are you also a-sexual?

I ask because while I am attracted to wit and reason I'm not about to Fuck Steven hawking
Good point!

While I'm attracted to intelligence there has to be a physical attraction as well...in much the same way if your preference is women, well that doesn't mean you're attracted to every woman you meet....

There are physical traits I prefer in both men and women...but even those aren't set in stone...and I really don't have a preference for one gender over another...I find both equally beautiful.
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Old 05-16-2014, 02:13 PM   #90
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Originally Posted by Amaranthine View Post
You said this better than I could have. After thinking on it for awhile, I think I'm the same way. Aside from a few fleeting crushes on women, I've only felt serious romantic connections with men. I feel like I probably could have a romantic relationship with a woman, but encountering someone who evokes that sentiment is far rarer.

I think it's pretty interesting that romantic preferences and sexual preferences can deviate from each other so significantly. It makes me question the spectrum of sex/gender-related sexuality vs. FA sexuality. In terms of automatic sexual arousal, it only happens with fat men or women for me. I can recognize thin women as attractive, but only feel any sort of sexual inclination in an already-sexual/physical situation. And I only feel any sort of sexual inclination towards thin men in a demisexual way - I have to be utterly [romantcially] smitten with them. Which I don't think I can maintain, given that most physical contact with thin men is displeasurable to me. Genitalia's never really mattered to me - it depends a lot more on how someone chooses to portray themselves.

Given that it hasn't been touched on in this thread (though it may have been in other threads,) it'd be cool to hear about other people's experience with the romantic/sexual split.
mediaboy & amaranthine: i have very similar thoughts on the subject! i am a bisexual woman and i tend to have purely sexual relationships with men, while women evoke both sexual and romantic feelings for me. there are also many times when i've been attracted to a trans guy but this, again, has been purely sexual. i can't explain why i have these feelings, i just do.

also, i find a woman's body much more arousing and beautiful than i do a man's body. hence, i prefer gentleman's clubs to the chippendale's variety. there's something about a penis swinging in my face that grosses me out lol
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Old 05-17-2014, 02:32 AM   #91
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Good point!

While I'm attracted to intelligence there has to be a physical attraction as well...in much the same way if your preference is women, well that doesn't mean you're attracted to every woman you meet....

There are physical traits I prefer in both men and women...but even those aren't set in stone...and I really don't have a preference for one gender over another...I find both equally beautiful.

When you have desires, sexual longing, a craving for physical intimacy, which sex do you nominally prefer?

When I fantasize sexually it's usually quite a bachonal of lovers of both sexes. My desire is always rooted in physical fantasy and aesthetics or some kinky scene I want to work out to try in the flesh one day.

I'm wondering what are the underpinings of desire in a saposexual? Do you just experience desire in a completely different way than say us plain old garden variety bisexuals?

Would you mind enlightening us? I find this very interesting. I get the feeling you may experience desire and love for that matter on a unique and compelling way. One that I can't quite wrap my head around. If there's another way to love people and another way to be compelled by a beauty my eyes are blind too by all means please share it!
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Old 05-18-2014, 06:09 AM   #92
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I have noticed that whilst I can be and am attracted to mentally/emotionally attractive people regardless of their size I have a pretty strong preference for big guys and slender women. And somehow that makes me feel kinda guilty, that I prefer a different aesthetic on men than women. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are skinny men and SSBBW that I find attractive but I do have different preferences in men and women. I guess I am just rambling here.
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Old 05-18-2014, 09:21 PM   #93
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When you have desires, sexual longing, a craving for physical intimacy, which sex do you nominally prefer?

When I fantasize sexually it's usually quite a bachonal of lovers of both sexes. My desire is always rooted in physical fantasy and aesthetics or some kinky scene I want to work out to try in the flesh one day.

I'm wondering what are the underpinings of desire in a saposexual? Do you just experience desire in a completely different way than say us plain old garden variety bisexuals?

Would you mind enlightening us? I find this very interesting. I get the feeling you may experience desire and love for that matter on a unique and compelling way. One that I can't quite wrap my head around. If there's another way to love people and another way to be compelled by a beauty my eyes are blind too by all means please share it!
I'd say I consider myself sapiosexual as well, to an extent. Essentially, someone demonstrating themselves to be intelligent - especially with the characteristics Indig0 mentioned - is arousing to me? It helps if I find them aesthetically and physically attractive, but it's not really a requirement. I used to have the issue of becoming somewhat aroused during debate events, if someone did a stellar job. It also means that (if it seems justified) I can enjoy someone being a bit arrogant.

I find your own fantasy-description interesting. I generally only fantasize about typically sexual things with someone I'm already interested in. And then it's great. Otherwise, I have little interest in most straightforwardly sexual material unless it has a significantly kinky or taboo twist on it.

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I have noticed that whilst I can be and am attracted to mentally/emotionally attractive people regardless of their size I have a pretty strong preference for big guys and slender women. And somehow that makes me feel kinda guilty, that I prefer a different aesthetic on men than women. I mean, don't get me wrong, there are skinny men and SSBBW that I find attractive but I do have different preferences in men and women. I guess I am just rambling here.
I definitely don't think you should feel guilty for that! I don't feel like it's uncommon at all - physically and personality-wise - to differ between preferences for men and women. I have different aesthetic preferences as well - my sexual preferences just remain pretty consistent. Which perhaps makes it weirder that my aesthetic preferences differ.
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Old 05-27-2014, 10:14 PM   #94
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When you have desires, sexual longing, a craving for physical intimacy, which sex do you nominally prefer?

When I fantasize sexually it's usually quite a bachonal of lovers of both sexes. My desire is always rooted in physical fantasy and aesthetics or some kinky scene I want to work out to try in the flesh one day.

I'm wondering what are the underpinings of desire in a saposexual? Do you just experience desire in a completely different way than say us plain old garden variety bisexuals?

Would you mind enlightening us? I find this very interesting. I get the feeling you may experience desire and love for that matter on a unique and compelling way. One that I can't quite wrap my head around. If there's another way to love people and another way to be compelled by a beauty my eyes are blind too by all means please share it!
Desire, longings, cravings....I would have to say both men and women equally, although probably more female ATM since I'm in a monogamous relationship with a hetero male. (I'm twisted, he's straight, and not interested in adding any additional "flavor" to the mix.)

I dont think I experience desire in a different way. Ultimately I'm just bi with an "intelligence" trigger. (Some people like blonds, some people like feet....I hear some men even like curves I like an active mind.)

I figured it out years ago when I did some soul searching on what triggered attraction for me. I realized intelligence was the one trait present in everyone I was attracted to or been involved with. It could even make me overlook/disregard personality quirks that later caused issues.

In fact, I have even passed on relationships with attractive individuals who were a better "fit" with my personality if there was no "meeting of the minds".....

I can notice an attractive man or woman, and even take a second glance, but intelligence is what really gets me going. I love a good debate, and I'm not talking Mensa level IQ either. It could just be one particular subject (like microbiology or English literature) or your "run of the mill" basic intelligence, as long as it manifests with a quick mind and wit I'm there.

There does have to be a physical attraction, but just like an ugly personality can color your perception and attraction to someone, not having that mental spark can do the same for me.

You know that phrase, "I was in his head and he was in mine."

I find that sexy....

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Old 06-13-2014, 07:21 PM   #95
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while technically you would have to label me as bi-sexual, i have never gone out seeking a romantic female partner and have always been more attracted to men for relationships.

i am married to and have historically been more attracted to bhm. while i have dated plenty of skinny guys before i settled down, physically I did not find them appealing enough to consider long term. (i agree you have to be mentally connected to any partner, but sex is a big part of a relationship and the thin guys just didn't do it for me as much as the big boys). I am still friends with a couple of these men because we did connect at a social and beyond-physical way as well.

as for women, i have had several same sex encounters. most of these were an opportunistic sort of thing-as part of a couples swap or if i happen to meet someone at a bar and ended up going home with her for a one night stand. even today, i do find all types of women sexually attractive and when the opportunity arises i have no qualms about being with women for strictly sexual purposes. (which my hub is very happy about...lol).
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Old 06-29-2014, 03:25 PM   #96
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I think the more you get to know yourself, the less the so-called flip flopping- sometimes the bs has been pushed down our throat so long that we don't know the difference between what we are "supposed" to like and what we actually like- for myself, i can see a big difference between when I posted on this thread in 2009 and now- I classify as pansexual because I realize I am attracted to every type of person physically depending on chemistry, personality, etc
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Old 09-14-2015, 02:57 PM   #97
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It's okay. I'm the same way.
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Old 09-20-2015, 01:28 AM   #98
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A question, do you hang with mostly women or men in real life? do you prefer to have dinner or dancing with men or women? and do you bring them home for family dinners?
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Old 03-06-2016, 10:11 AM   #99
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Default Rainbows and spectrums and scales, oh MY

As I mature I realize that in all aspects of humanity almost every trait of the human condition can be placed on a spectrum.
We learn from the cradle to distinguish black from white and are taught the differences of the world in black and white terms. We struggle with the shades in between.

In human sexuality the first questions we learn answers to regarding the differences between men and women are black and white, being that women look different than men based on whether they have a penis or vulva. We. learn our sexuality past that in terms of heterosexual or homosexual. There may possibly be given the nod toward a shade of grey regarding Bisexuality being that the bisexual has sex with both. As humans we still struggle with the shades in between.

I see this as not an emotional attraction thing but a physically sexual thing as the name implies. It is my SEXUALITY not my dating preference or visual preference toward whom or what gender I find attractive or dating pool.
I find a number of people of various genders attractive. I do not have an urge to date or marry or enter a long term relationship with a male however I will have and very much enjoy sex with both genders.
I identify as a bisexual male. I identify on this scale as a 3.

The Kinsey Institute Scale of Human Sexuality

0- Exclusively heterosexual with no homosexual

1- Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual

2- Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual

3- Equally heterosexual and homosexual

4- Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual

5- Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual

6- Exclusively homosexual

What is "The Kinsey Scale?"

The Heterosexual-Homosexual Rating Scale, sometimes referred to as the “Kinsey Scale,” was developed by Alfred Kinsey and his colleagues Wardell Pomeroy and Clyde Martin in 1948, in order to account for research findings that showed people did not fit into neat and exclusive heterosexual or homosexual categories.

Interviewing people about their sexual histories, the Kinsey team found that, for many people, sexual behavior, thoughts and feelings towards the same or opposite sex was not always consistent across time. Though the majority of men and women reported exlusively opposite attraction, thoughts and behavior, and a percentage reported exclusively homosexual behavior and attractions, many individuals disclosed behaviors or thoughts somewhere in between.


Human sexuality is fluid. not only are there every stripe of sexuality on a spectrum from hetero to gay but this may vary from day to day in a month as to which aspect prevails. and that is strictly from a physical aspect of sexuality.

There are other factors involved in human interactions regarding what we perceive as our sexuality but as I mentioned earlier I am only tackling the physical strict definition of the word sexual.
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Old 04-13-2016, 07:10 PM   #100
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I've had these same thoughts myself as a bi/pansexual (I'm attracted to ppl all over the gender spectrum but am reluctant to apply the pan label to myself, because most ppl don't understand it, and to me "pan" meaning "all" kind of carries an implication of being open to sex with ANYONE i.e. no standards or preferences of any kind, gender or otherwise. Not saying I think pansexual ppl are like that, but that is just the mindfeeling that I get from the word. In my case it is complicated by the fact that I am also genderfluid. So I have this same since of day-to-day variability with my gender identity as I have with my orientation.

Sometimes I'm a straight girl. Sometimes I'm a lesbian. Sometimes I'm a straight dude. Sometimes I'm a gay dude. Often times I feel like my ideal self and/or ideal partner is, for lack of a less offensive term (if one exists can someone help me out with it?), a shemale (female presenting person with male genitalia). On the Kinsey Scale I'm about a 2 sexually/physically but a 4 romantically/emotionally. But a combo of bad experiences with men in my family and growing up in a homophobic family and culture most likely clouds the waters at least a bit, were it not for those things I would prolly be closer to a 3 both ways.

Physically it's interesting, that I prefer a more feminine appearance in both sexes (long, lush hair on the head, no hair anywhere else, rounder, softer shape, etc) but actually strongly prefer penis over vagina. I think (some) girls are beautiful, and I think I'd feel most comfortable and secure and loved in a same-sex relationship, and I get off to lesbian porn on the reg, BUT hard dicks really turn me on whereas I really can only get excited about a pussy if I imagine that I have a cock to penetrate it with. Like girl/girl arouses me but mainly just because of the touching going on, but it doesn't really feel particularly SEXUAL to me unless there's a penis involved somewhere, if that makes sense.
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