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Old 09-18-2008, 08:50 AM   #51
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Default You push my feedee button...

...and I'll push yours.
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Old 09-18-2008, 06:08 PM   #52
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Thanks Lilly.

turnabout being fair play and all:
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Old 09-19-2008, 05:34 AM   #53
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Default You might be a feedee if...

...you chose your apartment because it was close to your favorite bakery.

...you eat all the ice cream anytime there's a hurricane in Cuba, in case the power goes out in your neighborhood too.

...in high school, you made a game out of trying to make your weight equal the square of your age.

...you really have taken candy from a baby.
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Old 10-03-2008, 12:14 PM   #54
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I wonder if anybody would go for a travelling freelance feeder working on a pro bono basis?
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Old 10-07-2008, 06:53 AM   #55
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There seems to be a bit of a termonology ambiguity in Feeders and Feedees.

There seems to be an indication the feeder is usually male, dominant, and out to make the woman fat.

I am an FFA - and I love to see my man get chubbier off my cooking. I also love feeding him - that doesn't mean it has to be to the point where he gains. It doesn't matter if he guides the fork to his mouth or if I do it, if he is still eating an average sized meal. Or we eat dinner and i feed him desert - which he would have had anyway. Once in a blue moon overfeeding him is involved - but it is sensual, mutual, and not dominant.

Some hard core feeders tell me then I am an encourager - and encouragers tell me I am not one of them.

So what does that make us ladies and gents who love the bigger boys and gals, who care about their health and welfare, love cooking and feeding but are not in extremes?

More outcasts than the people that are really into it, I have noticed - or at least felt that way. I know just as many feedees as feeders - and many people proclaim to be both - for the right person.
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Old 10-07-2008, 03:37 PM   #56
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"There seems to be an indication the feeder is usually male, dominant, and out to make the woman fat"

Indication, or implication?
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Old 10-08-2008, 04:55 AM   #57
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"There seems to be an indication the feeder is usually male, dominant, and out to make the woman fat"

Indication, or implication?
I would say indication. 90-95% of the time when the terminology is used, specifically in this forum, the poster is clearly referring to male feeder/female feedee. I would not go so far as to call it a faux pas simply because this is the predominant dynamic here. FFA's who are feeders of any degree aren't heard from that much if at all here. I don't see much feeder talk in the BHM forum either. Don't know why that is.

I personally don't feel inclined to paste a sign on someone's forehead that proclaims them 'feeder/feedee' because they go all the way or to rudely rip it off if they do not like C and E on the list. It seems very silly to me. Those terms should not be a tell all description that defines a human being anyway. There are aspects and degrees of feederism that some people embrace and some don't but it's still the same, at least it is to me. Do we really need to have levels and complex terminologies? I kinda prefer the blanket term of feeder than an entire scope of terms. The particulars are important only on a curious level or to see if someone shares the same degree of interest. But if you're a man or a woman and you only like A, B, D and F under the feeder label I don't think it means anything.
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Old 10-08-2008, 05:57 AM   #58
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I don't think women are into the 'sex as hobby' thing as much as men. When women do have kinks, it doesn't become an obsession for most and have a much healthier relationship with their sexuality. Anyway, hence the overabundance of men on these boards. I also think most people who claim to want to gain weight have eating disorders and since compulsive overeating/gaining weight is so stigmatized, they welcome any positive attention to ease their pain. It also gives them a leg up on gaining attention when male fa's have this "thing" and are considered a commodity.
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Old 10-08-2008, 06:53 AM   #59
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...When women do have kinks, it doesn't become an obsession for most and have a much healthier relationship with their sexuality. [...] I also think most people who claim to want to gain weight have eating disorders and since compulsive overeating/gaining weight is so stigmatized, they welcome any positive attention to ease their pain.
Wow.
I have to disagree here. For women, it can be an obsession just as much as for men, but perhaps the way in which it is expressed is different. Also, it may not be as much of an obsession for the men that we think it is. The way a person expresses their ideas, feelings and attractions can make a huge difference (CAPTAIN OBVIOUS IN THE HIZZY), so I think saying this could be dangerous.

Second, tying eating disorders to wanting to gain weight offends me. You are essentially blanketing a group of people under something loosely related without having any way of truly knowing. If weight gain is a fetish, why can't a feedee have it? Are only feeders capable of appreciating weight gain? As soon as a feedee wants to, suddenly, it's an eating disorder? :\
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Old 10-08-2008, 06:54 AM   #60
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Originally Posted by MissToodles View Post
I don't think women are into the 'sex as hobby' thing as much as men. When women do have kinks, it doesn't become an obsession for most and have a much healthier relationship with their sexuality. Anyway, hence the overabundance of men on these boards. I also think most people who claim to want to gain weight have eating disorders and since compulsive overeating/gaining weight is so stigmatized, they welcome any positive attention to ease their pain. It also gives them a leg up on gaining attention when male fa's have this "thing" and are considered a commodity.
Okay, taking out feederism from the equation altogether. I think most on the outside world looking in would say this whole size acceptance movement is justification for an eating disorder and therefore unhealthy and should be discouraged as much as possible.

Some people do actually enjoy their size and the idea of gaining weight. Many of the women I've spoken to about it are also very conflicted in their desires. It's just not as simple as blame all them crazy men with their insatiable fatty lust issues.
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Old 10-08-2008, 08:13 AM   #61
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Originally Posted by MissToodles View Post
I don't think women are into the 'sex as hobby' thing as much as men. When women do have kinks, it doesn't become an obsession for most and have a much healthier relationship with their sexuality. Anyway, hence the overabundance of men on these boards. I also think most people who claim to want to gain weight have eating disorders and since compulsive overeating/gaining weight is so stigmatized, they welcome any positive attention to ease their pain. It also gives them a leg up on gaining attention when male fa's have this "thing" and are considered a commodity.
I wouldn't say that. An awful lot of women like to hang around and participate on this board too, present company included. Sex as a hobby comes in many forms. Female feeders specifically seem to be in short supply here but there is no shortage of interest here on the part of women in general. Also bear in mind that the majority of feedees aren't fat at all. That part of the broader issue can get lost on a fat acceptance board. Being fat may be merely incidental or a lucky break depending on how you look at it.
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Old 10-08-2008, 08:37 AM   #62
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Default A famous feeder?

Do you know who supposedly wrote this? (Answer below.)

"I will kiss you quite red and feed you till you are plump. And if you are forward you shall see who is the stronger, a little girl who doesn't eat enough or a big strong man with cocaine in his body. In my last serious depression I took cocaine again and a small dose lifted me to the heights in a wonderful fashion. I am just now collecting the literature for a song of praise to this magical substance."
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Sigmund Freud, in a note to his fiancee, Martha Bernays.
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Old 10-08-2008, 08:51 AM   #63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ho Ho Tai View Post
Do you know who supposedly wrote this? (Answer below.)

"I will kiss you quite red and feed you till you are plump. And if you are forward you shall see who is the stronger, a little girl who doesn't eat enough or a big strong man with cocaine in his body. In my last serious depression I took cocaine again and a small dose lifted me to the heights in a wonderful fashion. I am just now collecting the literature for a song of praise to this magical substance."
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Sigmund Freud, in a note to his fiancee, Martha Bernays.
Heh, I was going to guess Hector Berlioz.
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Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

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Old 10-08-2008, 09:53 AM   #64
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I realize I probably shouldn't post in a forum which I really don't agree with and makes me apoplectic. I have had this discussion with other women and of course, it's based on conjecture seeing the same patterns repeated over and over. Mostly (very) young women who claim they are purposely gaining weight with their equally young boyfriend. Once the relationship is over, the girl proclaims she wants her life back and goes on a diet.

Again, I had periods where I binged, especially in my late teens/early twenties. So, I suppose these things make me cringe a lot. I'm not saying women aren't capable of an autonomous sexuality--in fact, I don't think twice about women who are into the bdsm scene. I guess this one hits home much more.
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Old 10-08-2008, 12:01 PM   #65
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Well, there are those who have the desire, single or not. I am not sure I like the implications about age, either...
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Old 10-08-2008, 03:42 PM   #66
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Well, there are those who have the desire, single or not.
I have the desire. I'm nearly 35, so youth plays no role in it. My eating is not in the least bit disordered - I'm diabetic and on insulin, so I have to think about everything I put in my mouth.

Do I still long for the experience? Yes. Do I have someone to share it with? I wish. I'm single, so these desires have nothing to do with pleasing a partner. It's just part of who I am, and doesn't go away despite health considerations and lack of a relationship.

That's my context...I'm sure there are many others.
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Old 10-08-2008, 04:36 PM   #67
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I agree. After I gave up smoking, my desire to smoke never disappeared. I still knew what was best for my body and continued to stay away from cigarettes. I'm just thinking that women who imbide in feederism are now weighing the pros and cons of what it's doing to their bodies. And I'm still convinced it's the attention and the praises the feedees get from feeders that are the addictive factors. The erotic desires are mainly what the feeders are experiencing.

I've ALWAYS wanted to see the tables turn and see the feeder suddenly become the feedee. That strikes me as a VERY fair and loving relationship.
On a feederism site that I visit, you might be interested to know that most of the feedees are slim or just slightly plump. Over a wide age range. Do you know that one can be a feedee yet stay within a certain weight range? Or actually never gain weight? A person can indulge in a sensual feeding session with a partner once a week, and never gain weight, they're still a feedee though, if they have the desires. Do you know that a feedee is not necessarily a gainer and a gainer is most often not a feedee?

I disagree even more with your comment about the feedee doing it for the attention and praise of a feeder.

On both your main points there, people of all shapes and sizes and mindsets are involved in this, but yet again the media hyped "evil dominant male feeder with immobile imprisoned female feedee" scenario would appear to be the way you view it too. Im surprised, no, shocked actually.

Your last comment, one question - why?

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Old 10-08-2008, 04:51 PM   #68
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Right on, Ruby.

MissToodles, I'd never say some of those dynamics aren't present in the community. I believe that this is one of the few places on the planet someone with these desires (both receiving and giving) could be challenged to think about personal and social ramifications of the act and the desire. However, we can never get to that place with all the folks throwing out blanket generalizations about it based on their own personal worldviews or very personal experiences.

So, what we've learned here is that feedees are doing it for the attention of feeders or because of disordered eating? Again, I'll never say this isn't true for some, and let's be a SPACE WHERE WE CAN CHALLENGE AND DISCUSS THIS.

Personally, I'm so exhausted proving the ole "feedee" credentials. I grew up without hte computer. My very first sexual fantasy was of gaining, with feeding involved. Point blank. I hadn't seen a SINGLE image making me think this was even...possible. No TV image, no radio ad, hadn't even been online yet.

I feel like I need a goddamn card proving this shit. We exist. And we're not all figments of some gross feeders' mind, nor of the media, nor a bastard step-child of the sa movement, nor all binge eaters looking for an excuse.
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Old 10-08-2008, 04:59 PM   #69
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yet again the media hyped "evil dominant male feeder with immobile imprisoned female feedee" scenario would appear to be the way you view it too.
An adroit summary. You seem to have gotten at the heart of the matter, and why discussions of this topic have such cyclical tendencies.

ActivistFatGirl, I'm glad to hear that. =o

*takes blurry picture of you and makes cast of your footprint, puts up "Evidence that Feedees Exist" sign next to said items*
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all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
Where there's smoke, there's a smoke-making machine.

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Old 10-08-2008, 05:27 PM   #70
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I had to grow into my feedee tendencies, no pun intended. I didn't understand the feelings I got when I watched my fat girlfriend climb the stairs naked that first time way back in high school and I FOUGHT them years later when I watched lovely fat women come through my line at the grocery where I worked. I couldn't believe I really felt those things, because...fat is wrong in this society. So I didn't get it and I denied it. But it's always been there, when I think about it. Always always always. Because I love the fat form. And I realllllllllllllllllllllllllllly really love the idea of being bigger than I am--even if it isn't something I can safely do and it has to stay fantasy, EVEN IF IT'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO ENJOY WITHOUT THE ATTENTION OF MEN (shock and swoon), it's something I like. It's something that gets me off. Period.
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Old 10-08-2008, 05:31 PM   #71
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^ The above poster is a real feedee and, contrary to popular wisdom and much evidence, not merely a sexual fantasy of mine given a personality by schizophrenia.

You should listen to what she says.
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all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
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Old 10-08-2008, 06:41 PM   #72
Ample Pie
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*can't safely do
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Old 10-08-2008, 07:05 PM   #73
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Originally Posted by Rebecca View Post
I had to grow into my feedee tendencies, no pun intended. I didn't understand the feelings I got when I watched my fat girlfriend climb the stairs naked that first time way back in high school and I FOUGHT them years later when I watched lovely fat women come through my line at the grocery where I worked. I couldn't believe I really felt those things, because...fat is wrong in this society. So I didn't get it and I denied it. But it's always been there, when I think about it. Always always always. Because I love the fat form. And I realllllllllllllllllllllllllllly really love the idea of being bigger than I am--even if it isn't something I can safely do and it has to stay fantasy, EVEN IF IT'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO ENJOY WITHOUT THE ATTENTION OF MEN (shock and swoon), it's something I like. It's something that gets me off. Period.
My experience as an Fa and Feeder almost echo yours exactly. I remember being fascinated by very large woman and not understanding why. one in particular was so large that she used to almost kick her tummy from side to side as she walked cause it Hung so low.

I was also always very interested in the scene in National Lampoons European Vacation when the daughter Audrey dreams about eating vast amounts while in paris and she starts to grow before your eyes the effect was campy and cheesy but the idea brought up all kinds of feelings i couldn't explain !!

And to be honest i'm discovering i'm more of a passive feeder I have fantasies of force feeding my feedee, but i usually end up just getting her What ever she wants and encouraging her to enjoy herself and to not hold back. She is definitely a feedee i don't have to force anything on her i just help her fill her desires and in exchange i get to help FEED HER desires lol.

So yes Not all feedees are forced and not all feeders are overbearing control freaks!
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Old 10-09-2008, 04:59 AM   #74
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Originally Posted by Rebecca View Post
I had to grow into my feedee tendencies, no pun intended. I didn't understand the feelings I got when I watched my fat girlfriend climb the stairs naked that first time way back in high school and I FOUGHT them years later when I watched lovely fat women come through my line at the grocery where I worked. I couldn't believe I really felt those things, because...fat is wrong in this society. So I didn't get it and I denied it. But it's always been there, when I think about it. Always always always. Because I love the fat form. And I realllllllllllllllllllllllllllly really love the idea of being bigger than I am--even if it isn't something I can safely do and it has to stay fantasy, EVEN IF IT'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO ENJOY WITHOUT THE ATTENTION OF MEN (shock and swoon), it's something I like. It's something that gets me off. Period.
I've been to other websites out of curiosity. I couldn't find these abundance of women at other sites. Just makes me a lil' suspicious that a feeder oriented website can't attract women and it's still an overwhelming majority of men, you know? Listen, I'll support you in whatever you want to do. Just be safe. I just feel if women were really into it, they would flock to other sites. Just saying. People can believe in what they want. Obviously you exist, right?
As for the age thing, brought it up just because I engaged in unhealthy/unsafe behaviors when I was much younger. They didn't have anything to do with weight gain, just younger folk tend to be impulsive and don't think things through. I've worked with teenagers, I know what I speak of in that regard. Also, don't see how people cannot bring up this conversation without the personal, as it deals with their feelings on the topic.

Do you also know people can binge eat without gaining weight? Possible as well!

Okay, I've wasted my life and I know I'm going to get some type of warning. I need to leave this discussion, as I'm way too invested in something that really doesn't have any bearing on my personal life. "Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet."
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Last edited by MissToodles; 10-09-2008 at 05:07 AM.
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Old 10-09-2008, 05:29 AM   #75
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Originally Posted by MissToodles View Post
I've been to other websites out of curiosity. I couldn't find these abundance of women at other sites. Just makes me a lil' suspicious that a feeder oriented website can't attract women and it's still an overwhelming majority of men, you know? Listen, I'll support you in whatever you want to do. Just be safe. I just feel if women were really into it, they would flock to other sites. Just saying. People can believe in what they want. Obviously you exist, right?
As for the age thing, brought it up just because I engaged in unhealthy/unsafe behaviors when I was much younger. They didn't have anything to do with weight gain, just younger folk tend to be impulsive and don't think things through. I've worked with teenagers, I know what I speak of in that regard. Also, don't see how people cannot bring up this conversation without the personal, as it deals with their feelings on the topic.

Do you also know people can binge eat without gaining weight? Possible as well!

Okay, I've wasted my life and I know I'm going to get some type of warning. I need to leave this discussion, as I'm way too invested in something that really doesn't have any bearing on my personal life. "Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet."
Possibly the reason women don't post is due to the unshakable sensation that nosey neighbors are cloaked and sniffing our underwear as a learning exercise.
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