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Old 07-05-2008, 03:15 PM   #76
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Again....that a few people might do that...how is this cause for such anger. Are there REALLY that many fat women out here who prefer fat men, who get pissed off over some fat men not preferrrrrring fat women.?.....really??? And, make sure you know the difference between being perhaps disappointed..and...labeling.
Not fat women who perfer fat men. I'm talking about both sides in general, but the bbw who get mad at people for not liking fat girls are alot more vocal than the BHMs, who can't even say it without repercussions.
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Old 07-05-2008, 03:22 PM   #77
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Not fat women who perfer fat men. I'm talking about both sides in general, but the bbw who get mad at people for not liking fat girls are alot more vocal than the BHMs, who can't even say it without repercussions.
Smite, that's not true. I've been on other sites where bbws get flamed for the very thing you say doesn't happen.
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Old 07-05-2008, 03:24 PM   #78
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It happens on here too to BBW's, but there's a sort of "hush-hush" going around the BHM community to not speak out on it. It's like they feel that they can't have an opinion because they're second rate citizens compared to BBW's.
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Old 07-05-2008, 03:27 PM   #79
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It happens on here too to BBW's, but there's a sort of "hush-hush" going around the BHM community to not speak out on it. It's like they feel that they can't have an opinion because they're second rate citizens compared to BBW's.
OK. We have heard about that lately.

So how's your summer been going?
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Old 07-05-2008, 03:55 PM   #80
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It happens on here too to BBW's, but there's a sort of "hush-hush" going around the BHM community to not speak out on it. It's like they feel that they can't have an opinion because they're second rate citizens compared to BBW's.
Not to start this up again on another thread about how bbws like skinny men - go figure - but if there's a hush hush within the BHM community (whatever that means) then that's something for you guys to tackle. If it's within your community then it follows that you're all silencing yourselves and you should just talk about your experiences more and not confine yourselves to one area all the time.

...All this us and them stuff is just gonna start giving me headaches. Time for my first hoiliday weekend drink. White russians for everybody.
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Old 07-05-2008, 06:18 PM   #81
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It's not within our community, it's within anyweres else. And i'm not just even talking about fat men. Even skinny men. You can't say there isnt posts here and at other sites about how people (both men and women) who are fat wish people would "see the light" and like fat people instead of skinny people, essentially crying bitter tears over nothing. When someone points this out, the "offended" party starts up a argument and uses their numbers to overcome anything.

This has been seen time and time again when someone says "I don't like fat women." and a brigade of people remove any real discussion from the topic by gangbanging and driving the topic down to nonsense, and complainging about how wrong the person is, yet theres millions of threads about why BBW's can freely hate BHM's, yet any brigade who points out the double standard is shunned. If a man came on here and said he did not think fat women were attractive, there would be a dozen follow up posts of "Well then why are you here?" but when a woman says she does not find fat MEN attractive, it's just taken as a typical "Of of course, hey...most of the Western world doesn't." Why don't we ask the women who don't like fat guys why they are here since we'd ask anyone critical of fat women why they're here?"

Thats my point. Oh, and before some of you start calling me a BBW hater, just stop it. It's not true. I perfer BBW's anyways.
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Old 07-05-2008, 06:55 PM   #82
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It's not within our community, it's within anyweres else. And i'm not just even talking about fat men. Even skinny men. You can't say there isnt posts here and at other sites about how people (both men and women) who are fat wish people would "see the light" and like fat people instead of skinny people, essentially crying bitter tears over nothing. When someone points this out, the "offended" party starts up a argument and uses their numbers to overcome anything.

This has been seen time and time again when someone says "I don't like fat women." and a brigade of people remove any real discussion from the topic by gangbanging and driving the topic down to nonsense, and complainging about how wrong the person is, yet theres millions of threads about why BBW's can freely hate BHM's, yet any brigade who points out the double standard is shunned. If a man came on here and said he did not think fat women were attractive, there would be a dozen follow up posts of "Well then why are you here?" but when a woman says she does not find fat MEN attractive, it's just taken as a typical "Of of course, hey...most of the Western world doesn't." Why don't we ask the women who don't like fat guys why they are here since we'd ask anyone critical of fat women why they're here?"

Thats my point. Oh, and before some of you start calling me a BBW hater, just stop it. It's not true. I perfer BBW's anyways.
Is there some sort of secret "anti-BHM" board on dimensions that I'm unaware of, because I'd like to see those "millions of threads about why BBWs can freely hate BHMs."

If you're referring to threads like the "hot boy thread" I don't remember any anti-BHM language, it was mostly just photos of famous guys the posters felt were hot. Don't they have a right to their opinion of what is beautiful? Especially if they're expressing that opinion without tearing down what someone else might find beautiful?

Since you keep referring to "why they're here" it's evident you're still upset over the whole cankle issue, maybe that's where you're divining this double standard thing you're on. But keep in mind that it's a tremendous leap from the supposed offensiveness of the hot guy thread to the blatantly anti-fat language directed at individual members of this community of those PMs.
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Old 07-05-2008, 07:03 PM   #83
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OMG OMG OMG I'm kissing a fat man what's wrong with me????



Seriously who gives a crap? Fat or thin he loves me I love him. That is my preference I would rather have than anything else.
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Old 07-05-2008, 07:13 PM   #84
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Is there some sort of secret "anti-BHM" board on dimensions that I'm unaware of, because I'd like to see those "millions of threads about why BBWs can freely hate BHMs."

If you're referring to threads like the "hot boy thread" I don't remember any anti-BHM language, it was mostly just photos of famous guys the posters felt were hot. Don't they have a right to their opinion of what is beautiful? Especially if they're expressing that opinion without tearing down what someone else might find beautiful?

Since you keep referring to "why they're here" it's evident you're still upset over the whole cankle issue, maybe that's where you're divining this double standard thing you're on. But keep in mind that it's a tremendous leap from the supposed offensiveness of the hot guy thread to the blatantly anti-fat language directed at individual members of this community of those PMs.
I'm talking about Williams threads, and theres threads spread throughout everyweres (not just this board) with those motives.

And the cankle issue was a non issue for me. I wasn't even involved in that thread. It's just something that's sticked out lately that I noticed between the sites I frequent.
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Old 07-05-2008, 10:56 PM   #85
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It's not within our community, it's within anyweres else. And i'm not just even talking about fat men. Even skinny men. You can't say there isnt posts here and at other sites about how people (both men and women) who are fat wish people would "see the light" and like fat people instead of skinny people, essentially crying bitter tears over nothing. When someone points this out, the "offended" party starts up a argument and uses their numbers to overcome anything.

This has been seen time and time again when someone says "I don't like fat women." and a brigade of people remove any real discussion from the topic by gangbanging and driving the topic down to nonsense, and complainging about how wrong the person is, yet theres millions of threads about why BBW's can freely hate BHM's, yet any brigade who points out the double standard is shunned. If a man came on here and said he did not think fat women were attractive, there would be a dozen follow up posts of "Well then why are you here?" but when a woman says she does not find fat MEN attractive, it's just taken as a typical "Of of course, hey...most of the Western world doesn't." Why don't we ask the women who don't like fat guys why they are here since we'd ask anyone critical of fat women why they're here?"

Thats my point. Oh, and before some of you start calling me a BBW hater, just stop it. It's not true. I perfer BBW's anyways.
A. Where are these threads you're talking about - other than the thread that shall not be named. The major problem with that thread is that William is not good at articulating himself. That thread wasn't an attack on BHMs, that thread was a debate about the place that some of the BHMs feel that they have within the size acceptance movement. It was difficult to have a dialog about that because (at least for me) I felt like no real attempts were made on the part of some of the BHMs and William in particular to move past anger about the place he feels BHMs have and onto finding solutions. Make constructive suggestions, come up with a plan of action and this perceived problem will start to go away. Honestly, that was the first time I'd heard about it, since I don't know too many BHMs anymore and the one's I've known in the past were not interested in size acceptance at all.

B. What you're saying here seems like an oversimplification to me. If this is really a sexuality issue - which is what it seems like to me - then there is no easy answer. There is too much sexual variety to make this about who likes who and why.

C. If anything I'd say I've seen plenty of threads where the bbws and FAs male and female defend the right for anybody to like what and who they like whenever they like. There are threads where BHMs say they like skinny girls and we don't have hissy fits....I'm starting to feel like no matter what I say you'd say that the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence....which just makes my brain hurt...eh, can't we all just get along?
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Old 07-06-2008, 10:53 AM   #86
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As a start, I apologize for the contribution of the hijack in this thread.

Firstly, I would like to address some things Smite has brought up. Smite, I'm not sure what threads you're speaking of, either. I did a quick search on all the threads William has started and did not find a single one where he expressed his views and was "gangbanged by a brigade of people that removed any real discussion from the topic and drove the topic down to nonsense" other than the thread Carl1 started on the Main Dimensions Board. And even that is questionable. I would never use the same words to describe how that thread has gone down (nor am I suggesting that you're even referring to that thread... I'm using it as an example through my own eyes).
Can you please link me (us) to these threads you speak of? That is, link us to the threads within Dimensions here. Linking to threads on other message boards is not exactly permitted. Simple suggestion: "triple w dot ADDRESS dot com / ______________________"

Secondly, for what its worth, I never thought that Carl was expressing displeasure in the viewpoint that "Big women do not find me attractive." The way I saw it, I think, matched his views pretty well. That's an aside and has nothing to do with this thread.

Lastly, I am a fat guy (though not as fat as some guys here) and have, in my experience, not been the center of the higher end of a majority of womens' attention. That might be because I'm fat, or my looks overall, or because of my personality. I cannot say why, nor do I try to dwell on that. Luckily I had found someone, a fat woman, that loved me being a bigger guy, and that really made me feel wonderful. Where my experiences are my own personal experiences, they're not necessarily commonplace nor something anyone should make into a generalization.
I have thought about losing weight in order to be 'more attractive' in the womens' eyes that I find attractive, but that's neither here or there. I've only been gaining weight for years now, and have no reason to follow through with losing weight (especially for such a vain reason as being more attractive in other peoples' eyes) other than my own personal reasons.
I, like the lovely and beautiful Butch have seen a trend that fat couples are not very common here and have been disheartened by that, but that's not for me to hang over anyone's head as a means of judgment. I also view that as a universal truth that fat people in general are discriminated against for so many different reasons, and that includes men and women alike. I also believe that discrimination on a national (and worldly) level can actually shape a persons desires, fears, un-attractions and views. That may or may not have a contributing effect, but that's neither here nor there, either. That's a different case for a much broader cause.

In the end, I have not had much relationship experience at all, and have only begun to see my persona more as what I would like (meaning I've 'grown up'). I like fat women, fat women will not necessarily like me, I'm fine with that (although rejection can be lonely to me just as it can be to anyone else), and the clouds keep moving.

And to answer Greeny's question of "All you big guys that keep saying BBWs don't like ya...when is that last time YOU asked one out? Just curious....":
I do not keep saying "fat women don't like me," nor will I say that. But I wanted to just say that, as a fat man, I flirt quite often with fat women. Sometimes I have been met with a returned, flirtatious attitude (though I openly admit I'm horrible at flirting and detecting when others are flirting, so my judgment on that might be skewed), and sometimes I have not been. Case by case basis. I'll never know why those that did not flirt in return did not flirt, but it doesn't matter. Fat chicks are hawt and I'll continue to flirt.
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Old 07-06-2008, 11:21 AM   #87
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I don't think that was a highjack, it seemed pretty in keeping with the theme of gender issues within Dims.

(Smite I apologize in advance cause we've had this discussion in private so you're seeing it for the second time.)

When I took a Women's Studies class in college, one of the themes was that in western patriarchal culture, men are "the" and women are "the other." One example our professor used was with college sports teams, the women were referred to as the "Lady Vols" or "Lady Eagles" or "Lady Bruins" while the men were simply "The University of TN Volunteers" or BC Eagles or UCLA Bruins. The women were "the other."

As the FAQ's on here state, Dims was started for fat women and their admirers. The majority of active posters here are fat women. In other words, Dims is largely the reverse of regular world because here, fat women are "the" and fat men (and to a large degree, thin male FAs) are "the others."

Oftentimes male FAs will openly express a preference about the sort of BBW they like. They may say "only 350 and over" or "I prefer pear shapes" or "I like fat girls but they have to be really active." That very often gets negative responses from some women who feel insulted. And that "insult" is often explained by the fact that they come here for total acceptance. But when Carl pretty much said the same thing about the "Hot Boy" thread, the general response was "Well, we just like what we like."

Now that's obviously true. Everyone likes what they like. But how well would it be received for a bunch of fat men to start a "Hot Girl" thread on the Main Board and say "Hey, we're fatties, we belong here, and we're just talking about what we like." I'm sure they'd be asked to take the conversation to the BHM board. If fat men are equal here, they should be able to freely express what they like AND be able to do so on the Main Board and not just the BHM board.
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Old 07-06-2008, 11:25 AM   #88
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I actually would like it a lot of the BHM board branched out a little.
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Old 07-06-2008, 11:33 AM   #89
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I actually would like it a lot of the BHM board branched out a little.
Start by tracking down that cute waiter from IHOP and dragging him over here. We need an eye candy infusion.
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Old 07-06-2008, 11:37 AM   #90
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I actually would like it a lot of the BHM board branched out a little.
Me too Tooz. Me too.
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Old 07-06-2008, 11:38 AM   #91
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I don't think that was a highjack, it seemed pretty in keeping with the theme of gender issues within Dims.

(Smite I apologize in advance cause we've had this discussion in private so you're seeing it for the second time.)

When I took a Women's Studies class in college, one of the themes was that in western patriarchal culture, men are "the" and women are "the other." One example our professor used was with college sports teams, the women were referred to as the "Lady Vols" or "Lady Eagles" or "Lady Bruins" while the men were simply "The University of TN Volunteers" or BC Eagles or UCLA Bruins. The women were "the other."

As the FAQ's on here state, Dims was started for fat women and their admirers. The majority of active posters here are fat women. In other words, Dims is largely the reverse of regular world because here, fat women are "the" and fat men (and to a large degree, thin male FAs) are "the others."

Oftentimes male FAs will openly express a preference about the sort of BBW they like. They may say "only 350 and over" or "I prefer pear shapes" or "I like fat girls but they have to be really active." That very often gets negative responses from some women who feel insulted. And that "insult" is often explained by the fact that they come here for total acceptance. But when Carl pretty much said the same thing about the "Hot Boy" thread, the general response was "Well, we just like what we like."

Now that's obviously true. Everyone likes what they like. But how well would it be received for a bunch of fat men to start a "Hot Girl" thread on the Main Board and say "Hey, we're fatties, we belong here, and we're just talking about what we like." I'm sure they'd be asked to take the conversation to the BHM board. If fat men are equal here, they should be able to freely express what they like AND be able to do so on the Main Board and not just the BHM board.

You know, I'd say this is the same at dances and such. There are just always more women than men. Which is the reverse of other social outings where het men and women meet.

Oh, and there is a hot girl thread - I can't remember if it's on the main board or not, but for a good part of it, it was mostly bbws posting to it!
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Old 07-06-2008, 12:00 PM   #92
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Me too Tooz. Me too.
Me three.

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Oftentimes male FAs will openly express a preference about the sort of BBW they like. They may say "only 350 and over" or "I prefer pear shapes" or "I like fat girls but they have to be really active." That very often gets negative responses from some women who feel insulted. And that "insult" is often explained by the fact that they come here for total acceptance. But when Carl pretty much said the same thing about the "Hot Boy" thread, the general response was "Well, we just like what we like."
I see it differently. I am having a hard time correlating the examples you gave ("only 350 and over" or "I prefer pear shapes" or "I like fat girls but they have to be really active") with the thread Carl began. The way I see it, Carl found some sort of dissatisfaction out of the "Hot Boy Thread" because it seemed to be commonplace that fat men are not found attractive in the world as a whole. I did not get the impression that he is/was having a hard time understanding or dealing with the fact that fat women have not/do not find him attractive. I got the impression that he brought it up because he did not think the thread fit on a Fat Acceptance Board. Now, before anyone gets on my case about that, let me clarify that I do not necessarily agree with his motives or understanding behind his thread. I believe I can see why he found issue with it, but I also find no issue with any person (of any size, shape, race, gender, nationality, etc...) finding any attraction they have.
The way I see it, the three examples you gave ("only 350 and over" or "I prefer pear shapes" or "I like fat girls but they have to be really active") include fat women in the attraction and have direct purpose to be stated on a Fat Acceptance board. That's just the way I see it. Also please note that I do not agree with any three of those (defined by my own personal attraction).

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Now that's obviously true. Everyone likes what they like. But how well would it be received for a bunch of fat men to start a "Hot Girl" thread on the Main Board and say "Hey, we're fatties, we belong here, and we're just talking about what we like." I'm sure they'd be asked to take the conversation to the BHM board. If fat men are equal here, they should be able to freely express what they like AND be able to do so on the Main Board and not just the BHM board.
I'm not sure if they would be asked to move the conversation elsewhere or not. (Arguably they wouldn't be "asked", they would be moved directly by a Moderator) I wouldn't assume that it would be moved, but I have witnessed threads started by a "BHM" moved to the BHM/FFA Forum that I felt belonged in the specific Forum they were first started on. Much of those occurrences have ceased to happen due to the split and direction of the entire Weight Board. I think they ("BHM", "FFA's") are able to freely express themselves on the entire Community Board. Whether others believe that is not my place to say, but that's what I think. Hence I would like to see "BHM" and "FFA's" come out more from that Forum and into the rest of the entire Community Board.
As an extended aside on that point, I saw many "BHM" and "FFA's" post in the "Hot Boy Thread" and were not told to take it elsewhere; myself included.
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Old 07-06-2008, 12:08 PM   #93
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I see it differently. I am having a hard time correlating the examples you gave ("only 350 and over" or "I prefer pear shapes" or "I like fat girls but they have to be really active") with the thread Carl began. The way I see it, Carl found some sort of dissatisfaction out of the "Hot Boy Thread" because it seemed to be commonplace that fat men are not found attractive in the world as a whole. I did not get the impression that he is/was having a hard time understanding or dealing with the fact that fat women have not/do not find him attractive. I got the impression that he brought it up because he did not think the thread fit on a Fat Acceptance Board. Now, before anyone gets on my case about that, let me clarify that I do not necessarily agree with his motives or understanding behind his thread. I believe I can see why he found issue with it, but I also find no issue with any person (of any size, shape, race, gender, nationality, etc...) finding any attraction they have.
The way I see it, the three examples you gave ("only 350 and over" or "I prefer pear shapes" or "I like fat girls but they have to be really active") include fat women in the attraction and have direct purpose to be stated on a Fat Acceptance board. That's just the way I see it. Also please note that I do not agree with any three of those (defined by my own personal attraction).
My reference was more to the reaction that Carl got for being hurt at seeing that thread. It seemed as if his being upset was not taken seriously. Part of that may simply be a function of there being fewer BHMs around who might sympathize with him.
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Old 07-06-2008, 12:49 PM   #94
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I meant Carl's thread, not williams.
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Old 07-06-2008, 05:35 PM   #95
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Oh, and there is a hot girl thread - I can't remember if it's on the main board or not, but for a good part of it, it was mostly bbws posting to it!
It's in the lounge...where the hot boy thread is. Neither were really meant to be "serious" threads........and I suspect that was part of the annoyance from some people.....it was simply people posting pics of celebrities people found attractive, including fat celebrities, and someone seemed to get bent about that.
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Old 07-06-2008, 05:41 PM   #96
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Start by tracking down that cute waiter from IHOP and dragging him over here. We need an eye candy infusion.
Maybe I will! This seems like a good idea. I'll totally write the forum name on the receipt.
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Old 07-06-2008, 07:38 PM   #97
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It's in the lounge...where the hot boy thread is. Neither were really meant to be "serious" threads........and I suspect that was part of the annoyance from some people.....it was simply people posting pics of celebrities people found attractive, including fat celebrities, and someone seemed to get bent about that.
What irked me was it was one thread one damn thread where the women here were expressing what they liked in a forum that often seems like an oasis of what gets men hard. That a guy would try to shame the women here for posting pics of variety of different types of men and call them out for it pissed me off to no end.

It pissed me off then and still pisses me off now.
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Old 07-06-2008, 08:19 PM   #98
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What irked me was it was one thread one damn thread where the women here were expressing what they liked in a forum that often seems like an oasis of what gets men hard. That a guy would try to shame the women here for posting pics of variety of different types of men and call them out for it pissed me off to no end.

It pissed me off then and still pisses me off now.
Some men still think women shouldn't express their opinions or have preferences. Especially fat women. You know. We're just supposed to accept what ever attention comes our way and be glad for it. We aren't supposed to get a choice in what we find to be sexually stimulating or attractive.


*rolls eyes*
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Old 07-06-2008, 08:36 PM   #99
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Some men still think women shouldn't express their opinions or have preferences. Especially fat women. You know. We're just supposed to accept what ever attention comes our way and be glad for it. We aren't supposed to get a choice in what we find to be sexually stimulating or attractive.


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Old 07-06-2008, 08:50 PM   #100
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Why is it that it's perfectly fine for male fat admirers to say or feel that they have felt an attraction towards fat women for as long as they can remember? Why is it fine for them to feel that they were born that way, born to love fat women? There are female fat admirers who have felt the same attraction towards fat males; and since they were young, too. Skinny men who are not fat admirers sometimes have specific preferences (ie breast men, leg men, etc.). That is also acceptable.

Why is it not acceptable for fat women to have a preference? Did you ever stop to think that some of us fat women were born to love skinny men; that perhaps it's not just a conscious choice or decision?

If it's true that we as humans don't get to consciously choose what arouses us or choose what turns us on, then isn't that* a contradiction?

I've been fat since age one month. A very fat child; then teen; then adult. My first preschool age crush was on a tall skinny male television actor. My first crush in school, second grade, was on a skinny guy. My first puppy love crush was on a tall very skinny guy. The first guy I seriously fell in love with was 5'11 and weighed around 140. There is a certain body type that always gets my attention and makes my heart flutter. Sure, sometimes I see other types that are attractive or physically appealing; but it's the very tall and/or very skinny man that make my heart leap. And if he just happens to have brown eyes, or brown or gray hair, or long hair.... I melt. I don't know why. It is just is a part of my make up. Part of who I am. I don't question it. I accept it. It's just me.


* that being the thought that fat women shouldn't have a preference, whether conscious or not, as to what body type they are attracted to; or the thought that because fat women are fat that they should automatically be attracted to - or choose- fat men.
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