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View Poll Results: what do you consider your FAism?
fetish 13 17.33%
preference 51 68.00%
'alt.' lifestyle 0 0%
other 11 14.67%
Voters: 75. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 05-07-2009, 06:57 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by undrcovrbrothr View Post
EXACTLY. I just can't live without BBWs, plain and simple.. I just cannot
I think though 'fetish' is more about objectification. You Never hear about people who have a boobs fetish or an average sized women fetish. I think because liking boobs is deemed as the normal and if you fancy average sized women it is deemed as nothing unusual. I guess its just about semantics though and if you want to identify with having a fetish i dont think anyone will argue with you about your feelings just maby about definition, which in itself can change depending on who is doing the defining.
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Old 05-07-2009, 07:40 AM   #27
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I guess its just about semantics though and if you want to identify with having a fetish i dont think anyone will argue with you about your feelings just maby about definition, which in itself can change depending on who is doing the defining.
Bingo! Reading this thread reminds me of the parable of the blind men and the elephant -- everyone describes a part of "it" but no one description captures the reality. The map is not the terrain, the definition is not the thing being defined, and I don't care whether you call FA-ism a preference, a fetish, or, for that matter, a religion (Mergirl for Archbishopess of Canterbury! ): it is whatever you experience it as, because your own experience is truer than any verbal definition.
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Old 05-07-2009, 08:40 AM   #28
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I shall accept the post of archbishopess of Canterbury if asked and make an 11th comandment 'Thou shalt worship fatties'. It would just make going to church a wee bit more appealing!
Actually, i'm not sure archbishops are allowed to change the bible..i would need to look into the job description!
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Old 05-07-2009, 08:55 AM   #29
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I shall accept the post of archbishopess of Canterbury if asked and make an 11th comandment 'Thou shalt worship fatties'. It would just make going to church a wee bit more appealing!
Actually, i'm not sure archbishops are allowed to change the bible..i would need to look into the job description!
If you canít do that, perhaps you could replace the communion wafers with nice big chocolate chip cookies? Cookies are sort of like bread, arenít they?
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Old 05-07-2009, 08:57 AM   #30
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hmm..due to catholic guilt and all, i'm not sure if the body of christ is allowed to be so tasty!
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Old 05-07-2009, 09:56 AM   #31
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Honestly, I'm not sure how this is up for debate. By definition it's a fetish, that's just how it is. It isn't my opinion, it's just fact.

I will concede, however, that it could apply in different variance depending on your situation as an FA. If you can only sexually function with a fat girl, and your attraction is primarily to such (which, for the most part, it is; that's why alot of FA's are here) then yes, it's a fetish.
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Old 05-07-2009, 10:03 AM   #32
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By whose definition?
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Old 05-07-2009, 10:17 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
I think though 'fetish' is more about objectification. You Never hear about people who have a boobs fetish or an average sized women fetish. I think because liking boobs is deemed as the normal and if you fancy average sized women it is deemed as nothing unusual. I guess its just about semantics though and if you want to identify with having a fetish i dont think anyone will argue with you about your feelings just maby about definition, which in itself can change depending on who is doing the defining.

That's always a good point. Partialisms tend to get thrown under the rug as "Sexual Preferences," even though they can exist on many levels too. I don't know. It just irks me that some would consider me fetishist when again I don't need it, and I don't always pick it over its alternative when foot fetishism is a "Sexual Preference." Whatever.

And I think most FAs as said many times can't get off on a bag of fat, which represents the Non human aspect associated with fetishism.
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Old 05-07-2009, 10:24 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by Freestyle Fez View Post
Honestly, I'm not sure how this is up for debate. By definition it's a fetish, that's just how it is. It isn't my opinion, it's just fact.
The definition is NOT, as it is worded, clear when it comes to the choice to be an FA. Your interpretation differs than mine, and I can respect that. However, I am not going to accept that one interpretation is the end all, be all, for that would be disingenuous.


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Originally Posted by Freestyle Fez View Post
If you can only sexually function with a fat girl, and your attraction is primarily to such (which, for the most part, it is; that's why alot of FA's are here) then yes, it's a fetish.
You used the word PRIMARILY and the words MOST PART, and not the word ONLY, making it not 100%. That being the case, you have suddenly changed the definition of fetish through the argument.

It all goes back to before- if you are part time, you have a fetish. If you are full time, it is a preference. That's why I LOVED that explanation, and I still do!
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Old 05-07-2009, 10:59 AM   #35
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edit: nevermind

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Old 05-07-2009, 11:33 AM   #36
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there appears to be shame associated with the word 'fetish', to the extent that people are generating elaborate theories to avoid being labeled as such.

Frankly, I wouldn't be offended to be labeled a 'fetishist'. However, I think that if the simple fact that I'd only date a fat woman makes me a 'fat fetishist' then non-FAs are 'thin fetishists' by comparison. Perhaps the only true non-fetishists are bisexual bisizuals?

For what its worth though, Fat Admiration is indeed on the fetish map... and (IMO) seems rather tame in relation to many others!
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Old 05-07-2009, 11:42 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by James View Post
there appears to be shame associated with the word 'fetish', to the extent that people are generating elaborate theories to avoid being labeled as such.

Frankly, I wouldn't be offended to be labeled a 'fetishist'. However, I think that if the simple fact that I'd only date a fat woman makes me a 'fat fetishist' then non-FAs are 'thin fetishists' by comparison. Perhaps the only true non-fetishists are bisexual bisizuals?

For what its worth though, Fat Admiration is indeed on the fetish map... and (IMO) seems rather tame in relation to many others!
Robot doll fetishists are my favorite on that map. I must admit, as one of the admitted fetishists around here, I am jealous of "furverts." Why don't weight gain fetishists have anything cool like that to call ourselves?

Seriously, I answered other. I am a fetishist, but I consider that a sub category of my fat admiration. I tend to agree with those who see it as a sexuality, so I put other.
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Old 05-07-2009, 12:28 PM   #38
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High school was rather confusing for a bit. I thought I was a lesbian since I couldn't see the appeal of the slender male form.
I had this same confusion for a while.
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Old 05-07-2009, 01:21 PM   #39
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fetish, cause I cannot f... skinnies?
preference, cause I adore larger women?
alternative lifestyle, cause it's a great turn on for me holding hands with the fattest woman on the beach?
other, cause there are thousands of reasons to have a fat gf or wife or simply to desire a fattie?

I think it's a little bit of all of these. What we FAs should do is to show that we are as mad or normal as all the other lovers in the world.
We love fatties unlimited that's all.
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Old 05-07-2009, 01:50 PM   #40
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Originally Posted by James View Post
there appears to be shame associated with the word 'fetish', to the extent that people are generating elaborate theories to avoid being labeled as such.

Frankly, I wouldn't be offended to be labeled a 'fetishist'. However, I think that if the simple fact that I'd only date a fat woman makes me a 'fat fetishist' then non-FAs are 'thin fetishists' by comparison. Perhaps the only true non-fetishists are bisexual bisizuals?

For what its worth though, Fat Admiration is indeed on the fetish map... and (IMO) seems rather tame in relation to many others!

Bold is for the win. Another good point.
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Old 05-07-2009, 01:57 PM   #41
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i am sorta shocked by the attention it got

i never thought this would become a rather in depth discussion about this

i do think that is a sorta broad spectrum of interest and desire that is tied to being a FA or part of said community, i was just wondering how people might describe their own view on it

i guess my only real regret for this was not giving more options for the poll, or defining things better
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Old 05-08-2009, 02:44 AM   #42
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Robot doll fetishists are my favorite on that map. I must admit, as one of the admitted fetishists around here, I am jealous of "furverts." Why don't weight gain fetishists have anything cool like that to call ourselves?
.
I used to have the 'fetish map' as my screen saver because i love it so much! (Also i was co-writing a fetish story book at the time.) I am always jealous of furverts because i think i am a furhag and i love them but it doesnt turn me on.. i so WISH it did though. My favorite is 'hand in quicksand' fetish because it is so specific!! haha Though i think if my partner was into that there would be a lot of roleplay involved, in sand pits of the non-quick kind.. its kinna like an X-treme fantasy.
hmm..what about growverts? hmm nah..the w and v make it look clumsy. Expandoverts? Hmm i kinna like that one because it reminds me of the word spandex which amuses me.
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Old 05-08-2009, 02:53 AM   #43
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there appears to be shame associated with the word 'fetish', to the extent that people are generating elaborate theories to avoid being labeled as such.

Frankly, I wouldn't be offended to be labeled a 'fetishist'. However, I think that if the simple fact that I'd only date a fat woman makes me a 'fat fetishist' then non-FAs are 'thin fetishists' by comparison. Perhaps the only true non-fetishists are bisexual bisizuals?

For what its worth though, Fat Admiration is indeed on the fetish map... and (IMO) seems rather tame in relation to many others!
I dont have a problem if people want to define me as a fetishist either, as you say 'fat fetish' is a far cry from 'shagging dead puppy fetish' so on the whole its seems a pretty tame 'fetish' if that is what you want to call it. I think maby you can describe something as a 'fetish' if it is only sexual and i dont think fat admiration is. For me Fa really is on a level with being gay, which is, that is inexorably connected to my psychy and really is a part of who i am as much as my personality, emotions are. I think it is only on the 'fetish map' because people find it unusual. You will notice there are no 'blowjob fetish' sections or no 'average weight fetishists' or 'same sex fetish'. I'm sure had that map been in existence 50 years ago the first and last would be on the map. Anyway, my point is, i really dont care how people define me, it is how i define myself that is the important thing.
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Old 05-08-2009, 03:51 AM   #44
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Definitely prefference for me....I preffer my guys to be at least stocky...But I must say when it comes to the fetish spectrum.....I am a sucker for big bellies...and moobs. I LOVE MOOBS.

I say its prefference bc my more serious relation ships have been with thinner individuals (and the one bodybuiler *shudder* never again....)

But plump boyfriends treat a girl better. Plain and simple...Just from my own expirience of course....
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Old 05-08-2009, 07:10 AM   #45
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I used to have the 'fetish map' as my screen saver because i love it so much! (Also i was co-writing a fetish story book at the time.) I am always jealous of furverts because i think i am a furhag and i love them but it doesnt turn me on.. i so WISH it did though. My favorite is 'hand in quicksand' fetish because it is so specific!! haha Though i think if my partner was into that there would be a lot of roleplay involved, in sand pits of the non-quick kind.. its kinna like an X-treme fantasy.
hmm..what about growverts? hmm nah..the w and v make it look clumsy. Expandoverts? Hmm i kinna like that one because it reminds me of the word spandex which amuses me.
I think it's clear that the furverts have it all. I should not be pointing fingers, I know, but.....hand stuck in quick sand fetish? Wow, that IS specific and no doubt tough to have. OK, done derailing thread now. Carry on.
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Old 05-09-2009, 06:12 AM   #46
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I like my men like i like my coffee.
I don't.

I am with you on this though. I would say 'preference' doesnt describe something you want all the time, where as 'sexuality' does. I think this is why i describe My Fa side as a sexuality because fat is not something i prefer over thin it is something i have no control over loving exclusively.
I agree with that it is something that you have no control over loving exclusively.

That said, I think that most of the theory here goes out the window when any of these relationships become emotional. I know this board is best suited to explore the sexual side of what we like, but we are human, and we date, and fall in love, and the emotional part of us often takes over in a loving relationship.

One of the questions I think make us all squirm is, what if the person you loved suddenly lost a significant amount of weight?

We've seen many come to the boards to lament their partner's weight loss. Some want to shove food in front of them, others want to secretly feed them, others argue with them, and others fantasize about some of those in our community who post.

While the sexuality of what we want is specific, I think in some cases it gets shoved to the back of the bus when emotion is involved.

Anyone else agree with this?
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Old 05-09-2009, 12:34 PM   #47
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I agree with that it is something that you have no control over loving exclusively.

That said, I think that most of the theory here goes out the window when any of these relationships become emotional. I know this board is best suited to explore the sexual side of what we like, but we are human, and we date, and fall in love, and the emotional part of us often takes over in a loving relationship.

One of the questions I think make us all squirm is, what if the person you loved suddenly lost a significant amount of weight?

We've seen many come to the boards to lament their partner's weight loss. Some want to shove food in front of them, others want to secretly feed them, others argue with them, and others fantasize about some of those in our community who post.

While the sexuality of what we want is specific, I think in some cases it gets shoved to the back of the bus when emotion is involved.

Anyone else agree with this?
Absolutely. Get ye all to the Fa guilt thread and dont pass go! I think no matter what our 'sexuality' is, humans are beautifully emotional beings and can love, sometimes it seems limitlessly. Some people stick together being friends and soulmates and can spend their lives together without it ever getting sexual. Love is more powerful than lust in the long run. I think we forget this sometimes on here when we can scrutinize those with thin partners who enjoy looking at the models or the people who post here. Physically, we are attracted to fat, though 'fat' by itself would not enrich and move us if it were attached to someone we had nothing in common with. We fall in love with the person, who happens to be fat. Even if their bodies were the initial thing that made us attracted to them in the first place, this is usually the way of things. It is bodies we desire and people we desire and love.
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Old 05-10-2009, 10:12 AM   #48
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Originally Posted by mergirl View Post
It is bodies we desire and people we desire and love.
This is so much more eloquent than what I've told my wife in the past. I told her that her ass got her here, but who she is keeps her here.

Can I borrow yours?.............
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Old 05-10-2009, 10:27 AM   #49
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This is so much more eloquent than what I've told my wife in the past. I told her that her ass got her here, but who she is keeps her here.

Can I borrow yours?.............
Well, i think your way of putting it is just as good. Maby we can swap!?
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Old 05-10-2009, 10:57 AM   #50
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I would label my FA-ism as an orientation. Its not particularly fetishistic because I'm not super-precise regarding the fatness range. That said, my aesthetic doesn't include thin...
Id say that being a f.a is a preference..then if you are a feeder,or into squashing or anything similar to that then that makes the fetish part..
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