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Old 02-27-2017, 09:27 PM   #26
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One of the best stories I've read on here in a long time. Love the ending. Great job!
Thanks! Glad to know it hit the spot.
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Old 03-05-2017, 06:54 PM   #27
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Absolutely excellent story. Your writing is superb.

I had an outline for a story that I was planning to write, but I think you'd be a better writer for it.

I had in mind a story involving a women that looked like Marisa Miller who is on top of the supermodel world before slowly making mistakes that lead to her demise. Lemme know if you're interested.
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Old 03-18-2017, 01:14 PM   #28
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Absolutely excellent story. Your writing is superb.

I had an outline for a story that I was planning to write, but I think you'd be a better writer for it.

I had in mind a story involving a women that looked like Marisa Miller who is on top of the supermodel world before slowly making mistakes that lead to her demise. Lemme know if you're interested.
Hey, thanks, man! I'm glad you liked the story, and it's very flattering that you would consider entrusting your own pet project to me!

When it comes to writing this kind of stuff, I put a lot of value in verisimilitude. Even in fantasy fiction, staying true to in-universe rules is important to me because I think it's the key to keeping the stakes meaningful and the story engaging. For those reasons, I see a lot of wisdom in the old "write what you know" advice. If I'm not an expert on the subject at the outset, that means digging in with research.

I'm not a fast writer under any circumstances, but adding in that kind of attention to detail and supporting research tends to make writing a story like this quite a slow and laborious process for me. I had been tinkering with "The Slowest Champion -Revisited-" for over two years before I started posting it, for example.

Consequently, for me, seeing through to completion the creation of a story requires a great deal of passion and commitment. Unless I'm really into a concept, turning it into a story like this one probably either won't work out for me at all, or it will fall short of its potential.

With regard to the story you apparently have in mind, as much as I am a fan of slim, sexy, confident, on-top-of-it-all women experiencing humiliating, fattening defeat as a concept, I don't really know anything about supermodels in general or the particular individual you mentioned. It might just be a consequence of my ignorance, but I can't say I've ever felt a great deal of interest in the modeling world, either. That being the case, I think I'm probably not well equipped to write a story about those subjects at the moment.

You, on the other hand, probably are well equipped. If you're passionate enough about it to have spent time outlining a plot, even if it's just in your own head, then you're already well on the way to success. In terms of making the final product the best it can be, I highly recommend finding a trusted contact to serve as an editor. And by editor, I don't mean a proofreader--I mean somehow you trust to provide helpful advice about plot, pacing, descriptions, all that substantive, meaty stuff. Every writer, no matter how talented, can benefit from good editorial review.

I hope you do wind up bringing to life something from this idea that's churning in your mind. Hot chicks getting embarrassing fat is my jam, and I'm as eager a fan for more as anybody!
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Old 09-04-2017, 08:21 AM   #29
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What's her weight progression like from the beginning to the end of the story, to the end of the epilogue?
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Old 09-04-2017, 07:37 PM   #30
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What's her weight progression like from the beginning to the end of the story, to the end of the epilogue?
This might sound odd coming from the author of a weight gain story, but I'm actually a bit reluctant to answer this type of question.

I've deliberately tried to avoid assigning many concrete "stats" in the story. You'll notice that, all the way through, I've never said how much any character weighs. Partly this is because, to the extent such stats matter, I want the reader to make up his or her own mind based upon the narrative descriptions and a sort of self-determined imagery. Partly it's because I think I'm not especially good at guessing the "right" weight for a given size. For me, the "numbers" information alone doesn't communicate as much--or excite me as much--as the way a gal's body looks and feels, or how something is (or isn't) fitting, and why. Consequently, I tend to focus on these other descriptive details as the milestones of change. To lean on a sports analogy, the numbers might be one way to track the "score," but I'm usually more thrilled by seeing the actual plays themselves. And, of course, when referencing precise numbers there's always the risk that you might fail to connect with some part of your audience that draws a very different mental picture of what a given "size" looks like compared to your own mental image.... The whole thing is fraught with peril!

All that said, I do have my own, personal opinion about what Kara's "stats" might be at any given time. So, if you're really determined to get my own take on some hard stats, while reiterating for the record all the above caveats about doling out specific numbers... I guess Kara was maybe around 140 during her senior year swim season. Toned and athletic--not scrawny. By the time of the epilogue, I'd say that Kara is probably well north of 300 pounds. Probably substantially into the 400s. She's gotten fat.
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Old 10-05-2017, 02:26 PM   #31
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This might sound odd coming from the author of a weight gain story, but I'm actually a bit reluctant to answer this type of question.

I've deliberately tried to avoid assigning many concrete "stats" in the story. You'll notice that, all the way through, I've never said how much any character weighs. Partly this is because, to the extent such stats matter, I want the reader to make up his or her own mind based upon the narrative descriptions and a sort of self-determined imagery. Partly it's because I think I'm not especially good at guessing the "right" weight for a given size. For me, the "numbers" information alone doesn't communicate as much--or excite me as much--as the way a gal's body looks and feels, or how something is (or isn't) fitting, and why. Consequently, I tend to focus on these other descriptive details as the milestones of change. To lean on a sports analogy, the numbers might be one way to track the "score," but I'm usually more thrilled by seeing the actual plays themselves. And, of course, when referencing precise numbers there's always the risk that you might fail to connect with some part of your audience that draws a very different mental picture of what a given "size" looks like compared to your own mental image.... The whole thing is fraught with peril!

All that said, I do have my own, personal opinion about what Kara's "stats" might be at any given time. So, if you're really determined to get my own take on some hard stats, while reiterating for the record all the above caveats about doling out specific numbers... I guess Kara was maybe around 140 during her senior year swim season. Toned and athletic--not scrawny. By the time of the epilogue, I'd say that Kara is probably well north of 300 pounds. Probably substantially into the 400s. She's gotten fat.
Gotcha. So what has Kara’s love life been like since he tryst with Delilah? Did she find a party scene to fatten herself up since she left the swimming pool or has she become a homebody glutton?
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Old 10-05-2017, 10:18 PM   #32
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Gotcha. So what has Kara’s love life been like since he tryst with Delilah?
Nonexistent, probably. By the end her freshman year at Stanford, Kara outgrew her self-confidence as surely as she did her swimsuit At the time, she's never been able to fully accept what's happened (and is still happening) to her--never been able to sync her ego and self-image with her increasingly humbled and expanded reality. Indeed, over time, Kara has only regressed further into awkward shyness, self-pity, and a pathetic attachment to the ever more tattered trinkets and fading memories of her former glory--even though everyone else has long since moved on. None of those things bode well for her ability to spark up romantic relationships, or even just socialize. Additionally, there's the none-too-subtle fact that, in dramatic contrast to the enviably shapely physique she boasted when fit and trim, Kara has demonstrated a strong tendency to carry her extra poundage in an unflattering distribution that's only grown more pronounced as she's continued to get ever more fat and out of shape.

...Or at least that's the impression I'd tried to convey in Part 9 and the epilogue.

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Did she find a party scene to fatten herself up since she left the swimming pool or has she become a homebody glutton?
The latter, I'd say, for pretty much the same reasons as above.

In the final parts of the story, and in the epilogue, I'd tried to telegraph that Kara's partying lifestyle had become an increasingly unsteady, unsustainable crutch for her to obtain validation and avoid confronting the uncomfortable realities of her situation. Kara's unfulfilling hedonistic self-delusion ultimately collapsed under its own weight, pretty much concurrently with Delilah's arguably-rape-y little one-off roomie-cest tryst. It was all a blow from which Kara never really recovered, instead retreating into the self-defeating comfort and "safety" of social isolation and habitual overeating.
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Old 10-08-2017, 04:21 AM   #33
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Nonexistent, probably. By the end her freshman year at Stanford, Kara outgrew her self-confidence as surely as she did her swimsuit At the time, she's never been able to fully accept what's happened (and is still happening) to her--never been able to sync her ego and self-image with her increasingly humbled and expanded reality. Indeed, over time, Kara has only regressed further into awkward shyness, self-pity, and a pathetic attachment to the ever more tattered trinkets and fading memories of her former glory--even though everyone else has long since moved on. None of those things bode well for her ability to spark up romantic relationships, or even just socialize. Additionally, there's the none-too-subtle fact that, in dramatic contrast to the enviably shapely physique she boasted when fit and trim, Kara has demonstrated a strong tendency to carry her extra poundage in an unflattering distribution that's only grown more pronounced as she's continued to get ever more fat and out of shape.

...Or at least that's the impression I'd tried to convey in Part 9 and the epilogue.
I'm gonna have to say something about this. Riptoryx, you are on a fat acceptance site and from looking around/being a part here, you should know that there is no such thing as an 'unflattering distribution' of extra weight. Different people like different things, there is no 'right' or 'attractive' way to be fat. Look at the models on the paysites; you will see that there are ladies of all different sizes and body types there who are all lusted after and adored.
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Old 10-08-2017, 12:27 PM   #34
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I'm gonna have to say something about this. Riptoryx, you are on a fat acceptance site and from looking around/being a part here, you should know that there is no such thing as an 'unflattering distribution' of extra weight. Different people like different things, there is no 'right' or 'attractive' way to be fat. Look at the models on the paysites; you will see that there are ladies of all different sizes and body types there who are all lusted after and adored.
Hi, loopytheone. Thanks for apparently taking the time to read through all of this. I am aware of what website this is. Perhaps I came across as heavy-handed or intolerant with my description of the Kara character as a "none-too-subtle fact." If so, fair point. I did not intend to deny or denigrate any other perspective on what is attractive. My mistake. Please accept my apologies in that regard.

As you said yourself, different people like different things. What is "flattering" (or not) is, per se, a subjective concept. So, when you say "there is no such thing" as an unflattering distribution of weight, for the sake of consistency I read that not as a categorical prohibition of preference but rather an expression of a different personal preference. Indeed--perhaps paradoxically in the eyes of some others--some folks (myself included) are actually attracted to the stereotypically and subjectively "unflattering" itself in this context. My story caters to that preference--as do several other stories hosted on Dimensions, some of which seem to me much meaner and darker than this one. From the beginning I have tried to be very clear about what kind of story this is--feel free to re-read the "Forward."

When people are interested enough to ask me for my authorial interpretation about what the various characters in this story might think, feel, or do, I try to give my best, honest answer. The question I answered here dealt with the actions and mindset of the character Kara during the period between the conclusion of the main story and the epilogue. From that character's perspective, her weight gain has been an unwelcome and embarrassing change. Accordingly, my answer reflects that perspective. That's all--no broader or exclusive judgment intended.
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Old 10-08-2017, 02:15 PM   #35
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Hi, loopytheone. Thanks for apparently taking the time to read through all of this. I am aware of what website this is. Perhaps I came across as heavy-handed or intolerant with my description of the Kara character as a "none-too-subtle fact." If so, fair point. I did not intend to deny or denigrate any other perspective on what is attractive. My mistake. Please accept my apologies in that regard.

As you said yourself, different people like different things. What is "flattering" (or not) is, per se, a subjective concept. So, when you say "there is no such thing" as an unflattering distribution of weight, for the sake of consistency I read that not as a categorical prohibition of preference but rather an expression of a different personal preference. Indeed--perhaps paradoxically in the eyes of some others--some folks (myself included) are actually attracted to the stereotypically and subjectively "unflattering" itself in this context. My story caters to that preference--as do several other stories hosted on Dimensions, some of which seem to me much meaner and darker than this one. From the beginning I have tried to be very clear about what kind of story this is--feel free to re-read the "Forward."

When people are interested enough to ask me for my authorial interpretation about what the various characters in this story might think, feel, or do, I try to give my best, honest answer. The question I answered here dealt with the actions and mindset of the character Kara during the period between the conclusion of the main story and the epilogue. From that character's perspective, her weight gain has been an unwelcome and embarrassing change. Accordingly, my answer reflects that perspective. That's all--no broader or exclusive judgment intended.
It's not a problem, just me pointing out that you should watch how you phrase things; it wasn't made clear that it was the character's opinion that her weight gain was unflattering and not your opinion on it.

My point is mostly that there is no such thing as a body type/shape/size that is found universally unattractive. There is always somebody out there who finds you 10/10 hot stuff no matter what shape your body is.

For what it is worth, I've read through you whole story - the forward included - around half a dozen times now. I actually prefer stories that have a darker edge to them; I'm also a fan of Maverick's work as well and was very excited to hear you were writing a story that had been edited by him, especially as a lot of people in this genre don't take the time and effort to really invest in a project the way you have.

I was actually going to ask if you wanted feedback and constructive criticism about your story to keep in mind when you write your next one.
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Old 10-08-2017, 03:03 PM   #36
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For what it is worth, I've read through you whole story - the forward included - around half a dozen times now. I actually prefer stories that have a darker edge to them; I'm also a fan of Maverick's work as well and was very excited to hear you were writing a story that had been edited by him, especially as a lot of people in this genre don't take the time and effort to really invest in a project the way you have.
Thanks.

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I was actually going to ask if you wanted feedback and constructive criticism about your story to keep in mind when you write your next one.
Sure. I've received a bunch of good feedback and interesting discussion at at various sites where I've posted this story. It might be worth noting that the version of the story here at Dimensions isn't the most current. The version on my DeviantArt page includes a bunch of edits not present here (since I can't go back and edit old posts). Among those edits are an entirely new scene repackaging the reaction of Kara's parents and brother to the swim meet at Stanford.
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Old 10-09-2017, 09:26 AM   #37
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Sure. I've received a bunch of good feedback and interesting discussion at at various sites where I've posted this story. It might be worth noting that the version of the story here at Dimensions isn't the most current. The version on my DeviantArt page includes a bunch of edits not present here (since I can't go back and edit old posts). Among those edits are an entirely new scene repackaging the reaction of Kara's parents and brother to the swim meet at Stanford.
Ah, most of the things I was going to mention have been edited in the dA version.

One question though: If Sean was 7 when Kara started college and the epilogue happened 3 years after she left, how is he 12 at that point? I get that most of a year passed during the story before the epilogue but wouldn't that only make Sean eleven 3 years after that?
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Old 10-10-2017, 08:31 PM   #38
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One question though: If Sean was 7 when Kara started college and the epilogue happened 3 years after she left, how is he 12 at that point? I get that most of a year passed during the story before the epilogue but wouldn't that only make Sean eleven 3 years after that?
Well, this is getting into the weeds for sure, but I think the chronology holds together.

The story only pegs Sean as seven years old at the time he visits Kara, which is in March during her senior year of high school. The exact time period of the epilogue is a bit vague ("three years since Kara withdrew from Stanford"), but just for the sake of argument let's assume it's exactly three years from the date Kara physically left the university in a car with her dad. That'd probably place the epilogue on some day in early June--which is when the Stanford undergrad spring quarter usually seems to end.

So, where does that leave us? if Sean is seven years old during March of Kara's senior year of high school and he is 12 years old at the time of the epilogue (June, four years later), then it would seem that Sean's birthday must land somewhere between those March and June dates--i.e., that Sean turns 8 sometime before Kara starts college.

I actually did think about this kind of stuff when writing the story.
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Old 10-11-2017, 03:08 AM   #39
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Well, this is getting into the weeds for sure, but I think the chronology holds together.

The story only pegs Sean as seven years old at the time he visits Kara, which is in March during her senior year of high school. The exact time period of the epilogue is a bit vague ("three years since Kara withdrew from Stanford"), but just for the sake of argument let's assume it's exactly three years from the date Kara physically left the university in a car with her dad. That'd probably place the epilogue on some day in early June--which is when the Stanford undergrad spring quarter usually seems to end.

So, where does that leave us? if Sean is seven years old during March of Kara's senior year of high school and he is 12 years old at the time of the epilogue (June, four years later), then it would seem that Sean's birthday must land somewhere between those March and June dates--i.e., that Sean turns 8 sometime before Kara starts college.

I actually did think about this kind of stuff when writing the story.
Ah, okay, thanks for explaining. It had been bugging me for a while, hah.
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