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Old 07-23-2017, 01:50 PM   #2576
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Something on my mind today that's really pissing me off.... is the fact that I have to go get new business casual clothes to wear to an interview, the old ones don't fit anymore, and now I'm going to have to drive 45 min to a big man store that's way out of the way just to get something that looks decent. It's crazy that there aren't more big man clothing stores in the area given how fat people are in general are around here.... *end rant*
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Old 07-24-2017, 09:37 AM   #2577
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Hommecreux - when you drive those 45 minutes to the big man store - why for once not invest a little more time? Not only grab the first thing that fits and zoom back out?

Instead - have yourself fully measured, at all angles and also in sitting position. Then try different brands, various styles, sizes - and see what fits and looks best.

Write all findings down meticulously - also what didn't work at all. Then use that as your online-shopping guide - because it's easier to order something that you already know will fit and look good.

Happy and successful shopping!
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Old 07-24-2017, 09:50 AM   #2578
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Hommecreux - when you drive those 45 minutes to the big man store - why for once not invest a little more time? Not only grab the first thing that fits and zoom back out?

Instead - have yourself fully measured, at all angles and also in sitting position. Then try different brands, various styles, sizes - and see what fits and looks best.

Write all findings down meticulously - also what didn't work at all. Then use that as your online-shopping guide - because it's easier to order something that you already know will fit and look good.

Happy and successful shopping!
Thing is, weight keeps on being put on, and my dimensions keep on changing. So for anything other than casual clothes ie: jeans, tshirts, and shorts, unless I want to look like a knuckle head wearing ill fitting clothes, I have to go buy new clothes or have them refit by a tailor!
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Old 07-24-2017, 10:35 AM   #2579
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That size thing is a pain, especially for expensive clothes. For my wedding, instead of renting a tux I bought quite a nice suit, with the plan that I'd have it for weddings/funerals/interviews for years to come. I managed to squeeze into it for one friend's wedding, several months later, then had to give up on it entirely. These days with the financial advantages of being older I get some of my shirts and my suit from a place that visits town twice a year then makes things back in Hong Kong -- but I always insist they take new measurements. Even if my weight doesn't change as much these days, I find how it distributes shifts over time.

Being a constant size is a nice idea, though ... maybe some day!
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Old 08-01-2017, 12:56 AM   #2580
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Dog show people.

90% of you are over the age of 60. In 30 years time, you're going to be dead or incapable of owning/showing dogs.

Right now, that leaves, um, four people left in the Skye Club at that point. That's right, 4.

You are so rude and dismissive towards younger people. You want to keep your echo chamber no matter what the cost and it is destroying the breed you love so much. It's pathetic and it's genuinely sad but it is also the reason why me and my family have given up with you despite how much love I have for the breed.

Me and my sister are old enough to be grandparents. I've been in the club since I was 10, and we've owned the breed for 15 years. I'm a zoologist, and my sister a doctor, a show judge and a qualifed dog trainer/behaviourist. Together we have bred champions and our grand-pups are the top two winning dogs in the breed by miles and have been for years.

Yet you still dismiss everything we say. And call us names when we try and tell you our feelings about things.

Well, congratulations, you've doomed the breed that I loved, that saved my life. It's been happening for so many years but yeah, I give up.

I'm sorry that I couldn't save you, Skye's. I'm sorry that people's ignorance and nastiness has doomed your future.

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Old 08-01-2017, 04:25 AM   #2581
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I feel that way about old people at work - just remember - soon they will be retired or in this case dead. They literally MUST give way, eventually.

I feel this way about my Aussies - everywhere we go in performance sports people are captivated and are constantly asking who my breeder is. But in the show ring the standard for aussies is becoming gross - a big lab head and a stocky body. A dog who literally couldn't fulfill its purpose. And despite legistlation coming in abot docking tails AND the fact aussies are born with them in many cases, the show ring still calls for docked tails, and i get sideeye for showing them. Oh - and also aussies are NOT supposed to be overgroomed like shelties, but that is a new thing too.

Even in performance sports people get nasty. One of my dogs is reactive - we spent 4 yrs getting him to focus on me. On sunday this woman was literally tugging her dog overtop him, and i politely asked if she could shift over a few feet because he is reactive. She was all exasperated like "how far is far enough???" And i was like "well...as long as your dogs ass isn't almost touching my dog it should be fine". Idgit.

At least you had support to get into that world - no one is supporting me in it, and its full of old school, dumbass people who couldn't train a dog out of a wet paper bag, stringing their dogs up on leashes and yelling and jerking around...it's hard for me to even physically be near them or their untrained dogs!!!
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Old 08-01-2017, 05:08 AM   #2582
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Originally Posted by Xyantha Reborn View Post
I feel that way about old people at work - just remember - soon they will be retired or in this case dead. They literally MUST give way, eventually.

I feel this way about my Aussies - everywhere we go in performance sports people are captivated and are constantly asking who my breeder is. But in the show ring the standard for aussies is becoming gross - a big lab head and a stocky body. A dog who literally couldn't fulfill its purpose. And despite legistlation coming in abot docking tails AND the fact aussies are born with them in many cases, the show ring still calls for docked tails, and i get sideeye for showing them. Oh - and also aussies are NOT supposed to be overgroomed like shelties, but that is a new thing too.

Even in performance sports people get nasty. One of my dogs is reactive - we spent 4 yrs getting him to focus on me. On sunday this woman was literally tugging her dog overtop him, and i politely asked if she could shift over a few feet because he is reactive. She was all exasperated like "how far is far enough???" And i was like "well...as long as your dogs ass isn't almost touching my dog it should be fine". Idgit.

At least you had support to get into that world - no one is supporting me in it, and its full of old school, dumbass people who couldn't train a dog out of a wet paper bag, stringing their dogs up on leashes and yelling and jerking around...it's hard for me to even physically be near them or their untrained dogs!!!
I thought you might empathise, Xy!

Over here it is illegal to dock dogs tails (or cut ears, for that matter) and I don't understand why it isn't illegal everywhere else.

Hah, no, I didn't have support to get into that world. It was me that dragged my family headlong into it. People still don't speak to me, they speak to my mum or my sister and act like I don't exist.

The thing that set me off was about training, actually. We were talking about ramps in shows and my sister commented that it is very bad practise to physically lean/loom over a dog. Cue the 'but x does it and he's shown dogs for 4,000 years!!1!' comments. My sister pointed out that most judges in a show ring don't know the first thing about dog behaviour/body language (and gave the example of our first bitch, who stopped showing for 7 years because of a dumb ass judge). And the show people got really offended, saying my sister has some gall and these people have owned dogs for 14 million years so obviously they know dog behaviour.... because of course, all dog owners know dog behaviour, which is why you never, ever have problem dogs. And why show dogs are always so calm and well behaved!

But yeah, something that really annoyed me was them saying that if your dog shies away when a person looms over them, then they have no place in the show ring. Which is ridiculous. Or that if your dog is reactive or doesn't like other dogs they have no place in the show ring. Which is funny because my Champion bitch and the her two Multi-Champion offspring are all reactive, dislike other dogs and dislike being loomed over.
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Old 08-01-2017, 05:55 PM   #2583
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I feel that way about old people at work - just remember - soon they will be retired or in this case dead. They literally MUST give way, eventually.
The problem is that they will be giving way to other people who, by that time, will have themselves become old.

When you get old, you are vulnerable: your body and mind don't work the way they always have, and you feel insecure. So you defend yourself by being stubborn, crabby, and closed to new ideas that confuse and frighten you. You loudly assert that your opinion is the right one because of your age. I believe my character is like my body and my mind: it needs to be kept flexible by exercising it daily, the more so as I age. I struggle daily with my inner curmudgeon and, as anyone who has followed my posts can attest, I frequently lose. But it keeps me busy in my retirement.
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Old 08-02-2017, 06:55 AM   #2584
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Men who claim to "love women", but when they talk about how they think of us it's clear that they hate everything about us except our bodies (assuming those bodies are stereotypically attractive, of course). At least the MGTOW set are honest about it.
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Old 08-02-2017, 07:56 AM   #2585
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Men who claim to "love women", but when they talk about how they think of us it's clear that they hate everything about us except our bodies (assuming those bodies are stereotypically attractive, of course). At least the MGTOW set are honest about it.
You got me.... help. MGTOW can I get a definition of that acronym pretty please?
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Old 08-02-2017, 08:31 AM   #2586
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MGTOW=Men Going Their Own Way. Basically it's when a guy decides he's had it with women and commits himself to being single indefinitely.
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Old 08-02-2017, 08:42 AM   #2587
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MGTOW=Men Going Their Own Way. Basically it's when a guy decides he's had it with women and commits himself to being single indefinitely.
Thanks!!!!
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Old 08-02-2017, 09:38 AM   #2588
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Originally Posted by Dr. Feelgood View Post
The problem is that they will be giving way to other people who, by that time, will have themselves become old.

When you get old, you are vulnerable: your body and mind don't work the way they always have, and you feel insecure. So you defend yourself by being stubborn, crabby, and closed to new ideas that confuse and frighten you. You loudly assert that your opinion is the right one because of your age. I believe my character is like my body and my mind: it needs to be kept flexible by exercising it daily, the more so as I age. I struggle daily with my inner curmudgeon and, as anyone who has followed my posts can attest, I frequently lose. But it keeps me busy in my retirement.
Very true, sir! I meant it more from the perspective of 'hang on, it WILL get better if you stay', but you are right.

The world loopy is describing is a world where people lift their dogs up by their necks, snap them in the throat with the leash, knee them violently to get them to stand, and do other horrible things. Even those who are not actively abusive still do things that are likely to cause dog fear and aggression (staring, looming over them, allowing their dogs to be crowded by other hormone fuelled dogs). These people control the sport with an iron fist, and actively seek to kick people who do not cower straight out of the sport. They collude with judges and other breeders to make an impenetrable wall of anger, hate, and intolerance. In my opinion this behaviour isn't because of their age; it is because of the way they were raised.

For example, these people honestly believe you CANNOT teach a dog to sit or it will NEVER be able to do show handling. Ironically, the aussie is a working breed; my breeder still sighs in love about this show in the USA where an aussie trotted up, straight from herding cattle, shook of the dust, got in the conformation ring, and scored well - then left the ring to go straight into the obedience ring where it did sits and downs. The fact that my dogs know hundreds of commands, compete in dock diving, scent work, agility, obedience, etc etc etc - AND are able to show stack on command does feel them with fear. I think this fear exists regardless of their age, because they have proof they are dead wrong. Though being older certainly does not help.

But for people who want to stay in the sport, you can either join them, get the hell out, or stand for your morals. Younger folk like loops and I need to stand our ground and be unremittingly cheerful, positive, patient, and supportive of each other so that WE can influence future generations, being the support network for others too fearful to stand alone. When I got into showing I was ripped apart and ripped down by a dozen people, I was told my dogs were terrible. When I started performance sports, I was told my reactive dog was terrible. I held my ground, and now, when the new generation of people want to compete, I make sure I am there to support them. I've had students literally break down in tears because after years of being told their dog was crap because it hated other dogs, they trained with me, took their dogs to a trial, and WON.

As for work - I know I intimidate the hell out of people, regardless of age. Mostly because I am really good at my job and not afraid to do what is right I've had older people basically tell me straight out that I would NEVER make it. I never fought back, because the truth was that they would be gone soon. They had reached the pinnacle of their career years ago, whereas this job was just a stepping stone for me. Trying to change their minds would be useless; it was about navigating around and bypassing them with tact. Part of what enabled me to keep that calm was understanding that their career would be sun setting in half a decade, and their clouds couldn't dampen me forever. It's like having an abusive parent, and looking forward to your emancipation with determined resolve/the mindset of' this can't happen forever'.
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Old 08-02-2017, 06:10 PM   #2589
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The world loopy is describing is a world where people lift their dogs up by their necks, snap them in the throat with the leash, knee them violently to get them to stand, and do other horrible things. Even those who are not actively abusive still do things that are likely to cause dog fear and aggression (staring, looming over them, allowing their dogs to be crowded by other hormone fuelled dogs). These people control the sport with an iron fist, and actively seek to kick people who do not cower straight out of the sport. They collude with judges and other breeders to make an impenetrable wall of anger, hate, and intolerance. In my opinion this behaviour isn't because of their age; it is because of the way they were raised.

For example, these people honestly believe you CANNOT teach a dog to sit or it will NEVER be able to do show handling. Ironically, the aussie is a working breed; my breeder still sighs in love about this show in the USA where an aussie trotted up, straight from herding cattle, shook of the dust, got in the conformation ring, and scored well - then left the ring to go straight into the obedience ring where it did sits and downs. The fact that my dogs know hundreds of commands, compete in dock diving, scent work, agility, obedience, etc etc etc - AND are able to show stack on command does feel them with fear. I think this fear exists regardless of their age, because they have proof they are dead wrong. Though being older certainly does not help.

But for people who want to stay in the sport, you can either join them, get the hell out, or stand for your morals. Younger folk like loops and I need to stand our ground and be unremittingly cheerful, positive, patient, and supportive of each other so that WE can influence future generations, being the support network for others too fearful to stand alone. When I got into showing I was ripped apart and ripped down by a dozen people, I was told my dogs were terrible. When I started performance sports, I was told my reactive dog was terrible. I held my ground, and now, when the new generation of people want to compete, I make sure I am there to support them. I've had students literally break down in tears because after years of being told their dog was crap because it hated other dogs, they trained with me, took their dogs to a trial, and WON.

As for work - I know I intimidate the hell out of people, regardless of age. Mostly because I am really good at my job and not afraid to do what is right I've had older people basically tell me straight out that I would NEVER make it. I never fought back, because the truth was that they would be gone soon. They had reached the pinnacle of their career years ago, whereas this job was just a stepping stone for me. Trying to change their minds would be useless; it was about navigating around and bypassing them with tact. Part of what enabled me to keep that calm was understanding that their career would be sun setting in half a decade, and their clouds couldn't dampen me forever. It's like having an abusive parent, and looking forward to your emancipation with determined resolve/the mindset of' this can't happen forever'.
This is a wise person. Would someone please rep her for me?
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Old 08-02-2017, 07:29 PM   #2590
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This is a wise person. Would someone please rep her for me?
Repped her.
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Old 08-03-2017, 04:37 AM   #2591
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This is a wise person. Would someone please rep her for me?
I got her too.
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Old 08-03-2017, 07:56 PM   #2592
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Aww thanks guys

Ps i love the advice i get fron older folk...they have so much wisdom (my favourite was my 64 yr old director smiling and leaning back in his chair and reminding me "it's just a job...don't kill yourself over it.")
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Old 08-07-2017, 05:52 AM   #2593
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My boss suspending a kid basically because of hearsay and gossip, which had opened my eyes up to many other things at work.

I don't think I want to be a part of sunday's at the farm anymore. I love it, but I can't sit back and allow ableism, sexism and bullying to be encouraged and supported by the management and say nothing. Especially as we market ourselves on being a place especially for disabled and autistic people to work.

Going to have a really good talk with my boss later. I consider him a friend but yeah, no, I don't want any of this.
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Old 08-11-2017, 12:49 PM   #2594
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Abiding to your ethics keeps you sane! Are you doing it this weekend?
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Old 08-11-2017, 11:34 PM   #2595
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xyantha Reborn View Post
Abiding to your ethics keeps you sane! Are you doing it this weekend?
Yep, tomorrow morning we have a meeting. I've been so anxious I've been ill all week but man, I'm gonna stand up for what is right.
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Old 08-14-2017, 09:20 AM   #2596
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Meeting went well, guys. Turns out I'd been given some false information and when my boss explained everything to me fully I understood the situation better. I'm really glad I had that meeting though and that I chose to tackle the situation head on.

Thankfully for me, my boss is very gentle and understanding. He's absolutely restored my faith in him too, which is wonderful as I consider him a friend.
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Old 08-14-2017, 09:33 AM   #2597
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Yay, Loopy ^^^^^^ (great that you made the meeting happen, and great that things worked out well.)
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Old 08-14-2017, 10:51 AM   #2598
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Originally Posted by loopytheone View Post
Meeting went well, guys. Turns out I'd been given some false information and when my boss explained everything to me fully I understood the situation better. I'm really glad I had that meeting though and that I chose to tackle the situation head on.

Thankfully for me, my boss is very gentle and understanding. He's absolutely restored my faith in him too, which is wonderful as I consider him a friend.

I'm so glad it turned out well. Confronting a superior at work is not at all any easy thing to do. I'm sure that your boss also appreciates that you chose to speak with him directly about it instead of just leaving or not giving him a chance to explain.
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Old 08-14-2017, 11:49 AM   #2599
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Yay loops!!!!
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