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Old 02-01-2017, 09:04 AM   #76
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I feel as if one of my fetishes may have influenced my interest in larger women.
......
I know there are quite a few fetishes that are attached to fat admirations that include but are not limited to: Feederism, giantess, smothering, belly fetish, and vore. Also fat admiration can and often does exist independent of any of these fetishes. But in my case I feel as if the fetish maybe the cause of my admiration.
Alright, you "feel" your fetishes included "your" interests in larger woman. I believe you ( but that is not me).
.....
You don't "know" quite a few fetishes are attached to fat admiration. I like to feel weight touching me on top but I doubt people would say its 'smothering'. Its just a fringe benefit that developed but it doesn't guide or control me. Again, that is what you feel.

"I have always known that I like larger women...." <------- you said.
I believe you. Me: no. But today definately. I
When I look up BBW on Wikipedia (online encyclopedia), I argue with it saying "fetish'. Its in my attraction image, but being larger does not wipe out other qualities. It does not give a potential women a 'free pass'. or me either. The big in 'BBW' is subordinate to woman. I have dated and attracted thinner women. Those thinner woman have had attractive qualities, yet my pattern remains. I can't deny it and people identify me to some extent by it.
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Old 02-04-2017, 01:51 PM   #77
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I feel that my fetishes doesn't surround my FAness, it's more of the other way around. Since learning of my desire for SS/BBW women, I've learned about what I truly enjoy fetish wise: tight clothes, button popping, feeding and stuffing, funneling, rapid weight gain, domination, and even blueberry inflation. I feel that I shaped my sex drive around my love of big women and learned more about me as time went on.
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Old 02-10-2017, 06:35 PM   #78
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I've felt strongly drawn to very big, soft people since before I was old enough to understand, much less have sexual feelings. For this reason, I think if anything, my more romantic feelings and overall aesthetic have probably been shaped by that feeling, rather than the other way around.
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Old 09-10-2017, 02:40 PM   #79
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Like others in this thread, I believe attraction to fatness is an orientation rather than a preference. I don't think we FAs have any choice regarding the body types that attract us. I "prefer" bottom-heavy fat women, but that doesn't mean I can't be attracted to one who is top-heavy. But my FA orientation would make it nearly impossible for me to maintain an attraction to a thin woman.

There's nothing right or wrong, good or bad, normal or abnormal, about being an FA or a non-FA; either one just is. If you choose to call FA-ism a fetish, then knock yourself out - it's just a word. But to be fair, you should then regard attraction to thin women with big boobs, or thin women with small boobs, or an orientation toward any specific physical type, as just another fetish.
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Old 09-11-2017, 02:26 AM   #80
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I love this reply. Let me look at it in detail.

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Originally Posted by fatgrllvr View Post
Like others in this thread, I believe attraction to fatness is an orientation rather than a preference. I don't think we FAs have any choice regarding the body types that attract us.
I know for a fact that it's not just a preference for me, though I have heard from people who did have some choice in the matter, so it's not impossible. It's just that I'm not one of them, and I suspect you aren't either.

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Originally Posted by fatgrllvr View Post
But my FA orientation would make it nearly impossible for me to maintain an attraction to a thin women.
We are very similar in this area. I think attraction is one of those things that just happens when it happens. It's like a tornado.

Now here's my favorite part...

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There's nothing right or wrong, good or bad,
Right and wrong; good and bad have to do with what a person should do, but to suggest that a person should do something, they need to be able to do that thing. As we say in philosophy, "should" implies "can." As long as it's impossible for people to make themselves feel attracted to a certain stimuli, saying they should feel attracted to it would be like saying they should have prevented the first World War. There is no "right or wrong" about things that are impossible for us to do.

So yes. Total agreement here.

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normal or abnormal,
"Normal" is just a concept based on information gathered from statistics. We determine what 50+% of the population agrees with, and whatever that is, we call it "normal." However, lots of strange, bizarre and evil things have ended up getting those few extra percentage points, and it's always been that way. I suspect it's because the rich and powerful have a lot of sway over what other people think; especially now, with the media being everywhere, but regardless, the important point is this; "normal" is not a quality that individual people possess. If you took them out of society and examined them intently and earnestly, you would never find that they had a quality of "normality." It only exists in relation to other human beings, and therefore isn't really a thing that belongs to the person.

So yes. Total agreement again.

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Originally Posted by fatgrllvr View Post
If you choose to call FA-ism a fetish, then knock yourself out - it's just a word. But to be fair, you should then regard attraction to thin women with big boobs, or thin women with small boobs, or an orientation toward any specific physical type, as just another fetish.
I'm of the camp that says that words have real meanings, and that straying from those meanings is a crime against those words. This is the tack I must take with regard to the word "fetish." As a word, it refers to only two things. Inanimate objects, and sexual attractions to things that are not specifically sex. Yes, a person who is sexually attracted to fatness has a fetish, in that sense, and as you point out, so do people attracted to large/small breasts (which are also not specifically sex,) but the term "fat admirer," or my preferred "fat appreciator," doesn't even imply an overt sexual attraction as such. I was an FA when I was 4, because I associated softness with comfort, and for no other reason. I didn't have a fetish back then, because I didn't have sexual feelings.

I keep getting the impression that lots of people just call FAs fetishists because it's easier than trying to defend their real problems with FAs, which are not rational in the slightest, but in any case, my point is that it's totally possible for whole groups of FAs to exist who just love, love, love fatness, but not really in a sexual way, and those kinds of FAs would totally not even have fetishes.
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Old 09-11-2017, 12:29 PM   #81
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Default Fetishes and the FA

TwoSwords, we seem to be in complete agreement here, including on your observation about "normality." (I also liked your Jan. 2017 post in the Asperger's thread.)

Your statement about your not-necessarily-sexual attraction to fat people in general got me thinking. My own attraction to fat is highly sexual and restricted to women - a man's fatness has no effect on me, positive or negative. Now I'm trying to figure out why that is. (I doubt I'll succeed, however; I'm trying to think logically about something that almost certainly isn't logical.)
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Old 09-11-2017, 03:48 PM   #82
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Originally Posted by fatgrllvr View Post
TwoSwords, we seem to be in complete agreement here, including on your observation about "normality." (I also liked your Jan. 2017 post in the Asperger's thread.)

Your statement about your not-necessarily-sexual attraction to fat people in general got me thinking. My own attraction to fat is highly sexual and restricted to women - a man's fatness has no effect on me, positive or negative. Now I'm trying to figure out why that is. (I doubt I'll succeed, however; I'm trying to think logically about something that almost certainly isn't logical.)
my guess is it has to do with being straight? You can't force sexual attraction if it's not there. I have a profound appreciation for "classical" male beauty. Michelangelo's David for example. In fact that's sort of the standard I hold myself to. But that appreciation doesn't translate to sexual attraction. Not. At. All. I like women. My guess is you do too. No need to overthink that!
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Old 09-11-2017, 04:55 PM   #83
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Default Overthinking my FA orientation

Okay, Happily_Married, you're right. (When I'm not overthinking, I'm underthinking.)
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Old 09-13-2017, 02:23 AM   #84
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Originally Posted by fatgrllvr View Post
TwoSwords, we seem to be in complete agreement here, including on your observation about "normality." (I also liked your Jan. 2017 post in the Asperger's thread.)

Your statement about your not-necessarily-sexual attraction to fat people in general got me thinking. My own attraction to fat is highly sexual and restricted to women - a man's fatness has no effect on me, positive or negative. Now I'm trying to figure out why that is. (I doubt I'll succeed, however; I'm trying to think logically about something that almost certainly isn't logical.)
I'm able to recognize the beauty of many things I'm not attracted to. A waterfall or a sunset, for example. Frankly, I think recognition of beauty and attraction are separate things (though they frequently correlate,) so you won't always find them in the same place.

In my case, I do find fat men to be more pleasant to look at than thin ones, but I don't find them attractive in a sexual way, because I'm straight. So beauty doesn't always imply sexual attraction. That's part of my point.
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Old 09-13-2017, 12:56 PM   #85
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Default Beauty v. attraction

Duly noted, TwoSwords. I just find it curious that fat on a woman attracts me, whereas fat anywhere else doesn't affect me one way or the other.

Both sexual attraction and concepts of beauty are highly relative to the individual (contrary to society's idiot memes) and, of course, only overlap in the sexual arena. (If I were sexually attracted to everything I find beautiful, I'd have died of exhaustion shortly after hitting puberty.)

My father once told me I'm a master at stating the obvious. I apparently find it necessary to prove him right at every opportunity.
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Old 09-13-2017, 01:30 PM   #86
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Duly noted, TwoSwords. I just find it curious that fat on a woman attracts me, whereas fat anywhere else doesn't affect me one way or the other.
Yes. I suppose that like most of the data of our experiences as human beings, it is curious and interesting how these strange (meaning, all) emotions work.
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Old 09-14-2017, 06:00 AM   #87
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With regard to weight -- I've enjoyed having sex with very large women -- however, when it came to longer term relationships my primal brain and conscious brain reached a compromise -- mostly mid-sized BBWs.
This line made me crack up at my desk this morning! "midsized BBWs" had me envision browsing around an auto dealership but instead of cars it was women of all shapes, sizes, and colors. *I'm NOT dogging you on this. It struck me in a funny way but I assure you that I'm NOT making fun*

But seriously, this brings up a good point. Even within the FA community, there are preferences. Some like their partner to be a certain size, shape, weight, and even level of mobility. I find it extremely interesting.
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Old 09-14-2017, 12:58 PM   #88
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Default fetishes and the FA

I think the variations in body size and configuration preferences within the FA community are just another illustration of the fact that there are no absolute standards of beauty. (Sorry, Plato.) Each individual has his or her own orientations and preferences; that's how it is in nature, and that's how it should be. Unfortunately, our "culture" is obsessed with forcing all of us to accept one limited and rigid prototype.

Those who equate FA orientation to fetishism must acknowledge that men who worship beauty contestants are the ultimate fetishists. Their feminine ideal is a thin, barely post-adolescent woman with a highly specific facial structure. Compare this to the variety of women that virtually any FA would find attractive, and then tell me who has the "fetish."

Anyway, isn't it past time to get rid of (so-called) beauty pageants? They're insulting to the vast majority of women who don't fit the pageant profile even though they may be superior in any or all respects. They also insult the intelligence and taste of every person who doesn't regard the pageant stereotype as any sort of feminine ideal.
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Old 09-16-2017, 03:31 AM   #89
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Anyway, isn't it past time to get rid of (so-called) beauty pageants? They're insulting to the vast majority of women who don't fit the pageant profile even though they may be superior in any or all respects. They also insult the intelligence and taste of every person who doesn't regard the pageant stereotype as any sort of feminine ideal.
The problem with beauty pageants is that it's basically impossible to judge them objectively. If pageants were run on firm criteria, pertaining to the amount of care and effort a woman put into her appearance, I'd have no problem with them at all. Instead, they're just a loudspeaker for the pushy majority.

I played a game once that had a sort of human beauty pageant in it, and entrants were judged on hairstyle, smile and laugh, all of which can be done just as well by any kind of person. I feel something similar could be done in reality, to give people a chance to show off their ability to be charming, without necessarily treating one group of people as though their type of beauty is less legitimate than another.
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Old 09-16-2017, 02:40 PM   #90
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(From TwoSwords): "The problem with beauty pageants is that it's basically impossible to judge them objectively. If pageants were run on firm criteria, pertaining to the amount of care and effort a woman put into her appearance, I'd have no problem with them at all. Instead, they're just a loudspeaker for the pushy majority.

"I played a game once that had a sort of human beauty pageant in it, and entrants were judged on hairstyle, smile and laugh, all of which can be done just as well by any kind of person. I feel something similar could be done in reality, to give people a chance to show off their ability to be charming, without necessarily treating one group of people as though their type of beauty is less legitimate than another.[End Quote]"

It's hard for me to see how any sort of beauty pageant wouldn't end up creating specific standards that would denigrate everyone who didn't fit them. I do like your idea about a "charm pageant." To make it non-sexist, it would have to include men, which could be pretty funny. (I'd probably be disqualified, since the hairstyle criterion implies that the contestant would need actual hair.)
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Old 09-16-2017, 03:38 PM   #91
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It's hard for me to see how any sort of beauty pageant wouldn't end up creating specific standards that would denigrate everyone who didn't fit them. I do like your idea about a "charm pageant." To make it non-sexist, it would have to include men, which could be pretty funny. (I'd probably be disqualified, since the hairstyle criterion implies that the contestant would need actual hair.)
Not necessarily. The sleek, hairless look can be a very fetching hairstyle. Just check out how it looks on Mister Clean, Lex Luthor or Saitama.

And even if the contest in some way implies a need for actual hairs, there's always wigs, I suppose.

"Beauty" is quite a pretty little philosophical problem in its own right. As much as the majority would love to convince us all that their understanding of beauty is just "correct," there's no good evidence to support that. Beauty is that which, when seen, pleases, and if some people are pleased by different things, that means that different things are beautiful for different people.

But is beauty a real thing? If it is, how many forms of beauty, if any, really exist? As I see it, the topic of real beauty has two possible outcomes; all or nothing. By this I mean that either all things have a real beauty of their own, or nothing is actually beautiful. I'm inclined more towards the former than the latter; that there are many kinds of beauty that I just can't appreciate, but they are still forms of beauty.

Man, do I love philosophy!
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Old 09-16-2017, 04:31 PM   #92
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As I see it, the topic of real beauty has two possible outcomes; all or nothing. By this I mean that either all things have a real beauty of their own, or nothing is actually beautiful.

Man, do I love philosophy!
I'm inclined to think that both outcomes are true. Anything can be beautiful to someone, so all things have a beauty of their own within the total pool of humanity. If there's no absolute standard of beauty, than nothing can be said to be absolutely beautiful.

Cool - a fellow philosophy nerd!
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Old 09-18-2017, 05:42 AM   #93
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I always thought you imprint your sexual identity around your first orgasm although I now suspect it might be two stages as you can masturbate as an infant until your parents (usually) teach you to be ashamed of touching yourself so maybe you imprint some of it then and then again when you have a wet dream or discover masturbation again at a time when you're able to ejaculate.

My first "intentional" ejaculation I can remember finding a wet t-shirt video to watch as the bouncing breasts were the closest thing to jiggly fat girls, I then decided to channel my love of fat women into a love of large breasts as this seemed a socially acceptable form of preference, when I was young I would draw pictures of impossibly large women to snuggle with, I had no real concept of sex, when the pictures were found I was made to feel ashamed but when my drawings of large breasted women were found my Dad was happy, but I still wanted to look at any ssbbw porn I could find I just had to make sure I wasn't caught.

When I spoke to my Dad about this years later he didn't even remember, the whole time I had been carrying what I thought was my fathers shame in his son for being attracted to who he was attracted to, its only recently with my financÚ that I've been able to get passed the shame about being attracted to her sexy fat form, I'm slowly starting to be able to accept my own bhm status soon I might have the courage to post a few pics
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Old 09-18-2017, 11:48 AM   #94
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I always thought you imprint your sexual identity around your first orgasm although I now suspect it might be two stages as you can masturbate as an infant until your parents (usually) teach you to be ashamed of touching yourself so maybe you imprint some of it then and then again when you have a wet dream or discover masturbation again at a time when you're able to ejaculate.

My first "intentional" ejaculation I can remember finding a wet t-shirt video to watch as the bouncing breasts were the closest thing to jiggly fat girls, I then decided to channel my love of fat women into a love of large breasts as this seemed a socially acceptable form of preference, when I was young I would draw pictures of impossibly large women to snuggle with, I had no real concept of sex, when the pictures were found I was made to feel ashamed but when my drawings of large breasted women were found my Dad was happy, but I still wanted to look at any ssbbw porn I could find I just had to make sure I wasn't caught.

When I spoke to my Dad about this years later he didn't even remember, the whole time I had been carrying what I thought was my fathers shame in his son for being attracted to who he was attracted to, its only recently with my financÚ that I've been able to get passed the shame about being attracted to her sexy fat form, I'm slowly starting to be able to accept my own bhm status soon I might have the courage to post a few pics
First off, that's a really interesting take on things, thanks for sharing. A lot of FA seem to start with just saying they like big boobs. Makes me wonder how many people that claim to like big boobs are closet FA.

I would disagree with the part I've highlighted though. Due to medical reasons, I have always been unable to orgasm yet my love of fat people has always been there and always been strong. I think it's probably too complex a thing to reduce it to one or two events in a persons life.
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Old 09-18-2017, 02:01 PM   #95
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I always thought you imprint your sexual identity around your first orgasm although I now suspect it might be two stages as you can masturbate as an infant until your parents (usually) teach you to be ashamed of touching yourself so maybe you imprint some of it then and then again when you have a wet dream or discover masturbation again at a time when you're able to ejaculate.
Your "two stage" theory stirred up my first memory of sexuality. When I was about three years old, I saw a couple of fat teenage girls giggling on the sidewalk outside my apartment window. The sight made me so horny that I essentially humped a pillow, although no orgasm was involved. (As you can see, I was a charming child.) After that, I was fascinated by girls with fat thighs, bellies, and butts, although it didn't really become overwhelming until I hit puberty, and forever thereafter.

Over the years, the same sexuality that once was considered part of my being a strong, lusty male has come to brand me as a dirty old man (if only in thought). Time is a funny thing.
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Old 09-18-2017, 07:38 PM   #96
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Originally Posted by Brizzledude View Post
Hi all. First post here.

I'm afraid I've never been someone who analyses things, or myself, too deeply.

I know what I like, what makes me enjoy life, what makes me smile, what I want to pursue.

With regard to sexual preference I realised that overweight women, and the whole concept of gluttony / lack of fitness, really turned me on when I was on my early teens.

It's never been all-consuming, but as I get older it forms a bigger part of my existence.

I'd summarise it thus: if I had the opportunity to get it together with one of a pair of twins. Both very good looking. One is really fit, goes to the gym regularly, muscular, hint of a six pack. The other does very little exercise, eats too much, and as a consequence is flabby and out of shape.

I'd fancy both. Have a great tine with either. But given the choice: curvy soft girl every time. I'd never get bored, never fall out of lust.

It's how I'm wired.
I've thoght about this a lot. I'm still a virgin. But I think I might go with the thin one because I feel guilty liking bigger woman. And relationship shouldn't be about looks, it should be about personality. If you can beat the looks early on, then later if something happens you're more prepared for it. The side benefit is thin girls can do hikes and physical activity more!

Thinking back on all the girls and ladies I've had crushes on, they were thin and fat up through college until present time. But even in highschool there was a girl I thought was the definition of sexy. This girl was a BBW on the lighter side, so still fat by society's standards. Back then I didn't think of her as BBW. I still think that body size is sexiest. I think I was born with it, or had it early. Maybe it's somehow linked to Jessica in Roger Rabbit or something, except not as narrow--esp. in the middle. What boy didn't get turned on by her? I'm thinking maybe it was stuff I saw on TV. My mom was overweight, not severely. I've read we usually seek spouses who look like our mothers. This can't be true for everyone. My brother has a very skinny wife and he thought she was the hottest thing on Earth.

Just trying to think positively. this world makes me tired with all its yarnball conflicts.

EDIT: I got itnerested in the Jessica thing and googled. I found something mildly funny. It has some fat hate, and I don't want to care anymore. The wolrd is filled with s*** like that and I just try to go with teh blows now:
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Old 09-18-2017, 08:39 PM   #97
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I always thought you imprint your sexual identity around your first orgasm although I now suspect it might be two stages as you can masturbate as an infant until your parents (usually) teach you to be ashamed of touching yourself so maybe you imprint some of it then and then again when you have a wet dream or discover masturbation again at a time when you're able to ejaculate.

My first "intentional" ejaculation I can remember finding a wet t-shirt video to watch as the bouncing breasts were the closest thing to jiggly fat girls, I then decided to channel my love of fat women into a love of large breasts as this seemed a socially acceptable form of preference, when I was young I would draw pictures of impossibly large women to snuggle with, I had no real concept of sex, when the pictures were found I was made to feel ashamed but when my drawings of large breasted women were found my Dad was happy, but I still wanted to look at any ssbbw porn I could find I just had to make sure I wasn't caught.

When I spoke to my Dad about this years later he didn't even remember, the whole time I had been carrying what I thought was my fathers shame in his son for being attracted to who he was attracted to, its only recently with my financÚ that I've been able to get passed the shame about being attracted to her sexy fat form, I'm slowly starting to be able to accept my own bhm status soon I might have the courage to post a few pics
Yep. I've pondered if fetish for large breasts or butts is in fact fetish for fat, but in a socially acceptable form, or maybe a premature version? Maybe some people never develop it further and never like BBW types.

Stretching it that far might make some people uncomfortable. Sorry for posting.
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Old 09-18-2017, 09:16 PM   #98
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*snip*

I once called a 500 lb casual partner "my sexy fat girl" she broke into tears and wouldn't talk to me for a week. Going forward I kept my comments about a partner's body to size to myself. Whenever guys articulate their carnal thoughts they are at risk of being labeled a fetishist or objectifier of women. Best to keep your mouth shut an enjoy your partners abundance in silence.
You're exactly right. Which is why I think this is a lost cause.

I was once eating some tasty and an older gentleman in his 60's whispered to me "Hey, you like hte thick woman too? So soft. Their big hips, you can never get enough!?" Those might not be the exact words, but it's the idea. He's the outspoken type of person who has trouble controlling what he says, despite otherwise being friendly and harmless. He was referring to the overweight young lady with her friends, maybe becuase I glanced over at her. I didn't tell him I agreed, just blushed.

Just log off. Don't come back. Live your life. Actions matter, not words. This is a waste of time.
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Old 09-19-2017, 02:03 AM   #99
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Just log off. Don't come back. Live your life. Actions matter, not words. This is a waste of time.
I'm afraid it's not that simple for some of us.

I'm not here because I'm hoping to get a date. (By the way, I think you're right that guys are unfairly punished for sharing how they really feel.) I'm here because I need some way to express what goes on in my heart, and darn it, I'm just not getting those opportunities in my life, for the reasons you both state.

To me, emotions that go unexpressed are hazardous, because they build and build, until they explode out of me in uncontrollable outbursts, unless I share them with someone, somewhere. Better here, with people I'll probably never meet in real life. But I still could never even imagine dating a girl/woman who didn't agree with me on this... strongly. In short, I'm here because in living my life, I have found it wanting.
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Old 09-19-2017, 08:48 AM   #100
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I'm afraid it's not that simple for some of us.

I'm not here because I'm hoping to get a date. (By the way, I think you're right that guys are unfairly punished for sharing how they really feel.) I'm here because I need some way to express what goes on in my heart, and darn it, I'm just not getting those opportunities in my life, for the reasons you both state.

To me, emotions that go unexpressed are hazardous, because they build and build, until they explode out of me in uncontrollable outbursts, unless I share them with someone, somewhere. Better here, with people I'll probably never meet in real life. But I still could never even imagine dating a girl/woman who didn't agree with me on this... strongly. In short, I'm here because in living my life, I have found it wanting.
I totally agree. I just started posting here this month, for the same reasons.
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