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Old 10-25-2009, 03:06 PM   #176
Tina
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Originally Posted by Astarte View Post
I've been cheated on in an open relationship and I think that's an achievement.

We had only two rules: we were supposed to be honest about what we do and we were supposed to be able to talk about our choices, thoughts and feelings honestly. I would have been totally ok with him liking an attractive woman and going out with her, if he only were open about it. Why is it, that even with these terms he chose to lie about it? I just don't get it... I'm glad I got rid of him eventually.

*edit. And we had actually talked and agreed about these rules, they weren't just in my head or anything.
From what I've gleaned, some people are in open relationships because that's just how they roll. Others are in open relationships because they are sex addicts and cannot remain faithful aside from just not wanting to. If it's the latter, then along with addiction goes lying... Anyway, just one possible take.
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Old 10-26-2009, 12:23 PM   #177
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From what I've gleaned, some people are in open relationships because that's just how they roll. Others are in open relationships because they are sex addicts and cannot remain faithful aside from just not wanting to. If it's the latter, then along with addiction goes lying... Anyway, just one possible take.
That's one possibility. I think this particular (basket)case was more addicted to lying then sex, though.
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Old 10-26-2009, 01:00 PM   #178
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I'm in an open marriage, but I cheated before it was open. I wouldn't call myself ADDICTED to sex, but it is very important to me. The wife and I were swingers almost immediately after we got engaged. It was a part of our early relationship - we both liked exploring sex. After we had our first kid, my wife did a complete 180 on the swinging, and we bumped heads on ideologies. Anyway, dark time there (more to it than I'm leading on), and I drifted to an ex-girlfriend who I'd had an incredibly good sexual relationship with. I stopped it, confessed, fixed it all up, and we've each pretty much discovered that we're on different sexual wavelengths. I'm more kinky, willing to explore, she likes to exhibit and show off, so we aside from our normal, absolutely healthy, private sex life, we each do our own things.

I think the fact that we got married so young and we both realized that we each had a lot of partying to get out of our systems contributed to the "open" status. My wife and I are already firmly entrenched in a life together...a happy one. We each just feel a certain, personal way about sex, and why should we just force each other to be unhappy, or to miss out on that aspect of their sexuality for no real reason? (Yeah, we couldn't come up with a single negative for having sex with people outside of the marriage...I'm sure others think it's insane, though)

I mean, if I go on a Monday night to a buddy's house from 8pm to 12am to watch a football game, would it be any different from going over to a playmate's house? The important thing is that I'm out of the house and inaccessible to my wife for 4 hours...what I'm doing during those 4 hours is irrelevant. When I'm done fucking, I take a shower, go home, and heck, if the wife wants some then, I'll give her some too...LOL...that's a pretty common occurence at my house.
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Old 10-30-2009, 10:16 PM   #179
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ya my fiance of 5 years cheated on me :|
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