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Old 01-11-2007, 07:54 PM   #1
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Default Can we talk about unfitness and why it's a turn on?

Hi all,

I am new here. I have lurked for a while and thought I would post. My name is Erica and I have read with interest the archived posts regarding unfitness in fat women and how it's a turn on for some men. I guess I should give everyone a little backround about me before I go on.

When I married my husband I was a little under 200 lbs (I'm 5'3"). So I was never thin. Well, here I am 10 yrs later and I tip the scales at just over 300 lbs now! This over 100 lb weight gain isn't due to pregnancy, we have no children. I admit I love to eat and I am lazy about physical exercise. Never enjoyed it and we live in a rural area so we go everywhere by car. At my current weight a walk in the park is more an effort than a pleasure. Being extremely bottom heavy makes it a struggle to walk; my thighs and hips are huge and I pretty much waddle along huffing and puffing. This has worsened in the last few years. My heart is perfect by the way, i have been to the doctor. It's just all this fat that makes me huff and puff!

I am by no means immobile, if I have to walk a long distance I can, it just takes me a long time and I have to stop and rest. My husband is not a feeder but I think he is turned on by how hard it is for me to do daily tasks. I'll explain why I think so.

These are some of the things that are hard for me: going up the stairs, getting up off the couch, lowering my fat body to sit down, bending over, getting in and out of cars, going to the toilet, staying on my feet for several minutes (waiting in line is a real strain). Lately when I go up the stairs I've taken to grasping the handrail to hoist myself up and sometimes if I'm especially tired I even grunt a little with each step. My husband always mutes the TV and watches me from the couch as I make my way upstairs. At first I thought maybe he was disgusted at how hard things were becoming for me but now he'll often go upstairs for me when I need something and he'll say "I know how hard it is for you" or something to that affect, always said with a knowing smile. It usually takes me 2 or 3 tries to rise from the couch and he watches this with great interest as well. I usually am forced to make some sort of grunting/straining noise to get up and he seems to love it when I do. Trust me, I can tell, I know him.

Without getting graphic, he seems to love my unfitness in the bedroom too. When I am obviously straining to change positions it seems to bring him over the edge. I have not broached the subject with him but I wonder if there are any other men who feel as my husband does and could they explain their desires? I am too embarrassed to ask my husband. I look forward to some interesting insights.

Does my unfitness turn ME on? It didn't for a long time but as I get fatter and my husband seems more tunrned on by it...I might get into it.
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Old 01-11-2007, 10:27 PM   #2
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of course there's other people besides your husband who share that turn-on, but that doesn't mean it can be explained. oftentimes people with elaborate fetishes are even turned on by things against their own beliefs, i.e. people fantasize about raping someone aren't all rapists. i certainly don't believe fat females or any females are "piggies" but that doesn't mean i can help get turned on when a fat girl naughtily calls herself one. in a marriage especially but in all serious relationships, your sexual priority is understanding your own partner's needs, so talk to him. you're not going to learn anything from the people here who like that; their sexual and psychological makeup is all different. maybe some people like the huffing, maybe some people like the puffing. the only way to find out what your husband likes and how to safely explore it in the bedroom is to bring it up, as embarassing as it might be. it definitely sounds like you have a good relationship about to be made better with some fat-fetish hijinx in the bedroom though. make it happen, happily and healthily.
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Old 01-11-2007, 10:45 PM   #3
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My fiancee told me he liked big girls and I was stunned, confused, and a little sad; my first thought was "great, he just likes me cuz I'm chubby, the one thing I don't like about myself" It was really weird to talk about at first, and then as we talked more it became okay, and as time went on, fun... and I know he loves how I look, and I've become 10x more confident (which is still not extremely confident, by any means) even though I'm bigger than I've ever been before. It's all because we talk about what we like, don't like, sort of like, etc. He has things that if I do them every now and then, drive him crazy... but if i do them every day... meh. Talk to him about it. If you can already tell that he likes it, maybe this could be the beginnings of something incredible for you two!!
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Old 01-12-2007, 03:03 AM   #4
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Default Self Explanatory

This post is one big turn on.
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Old 01-12-2007, 06:54 AM   #5
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Is it just me, or does this first post here, not seem just a tad....well.. fake? Apologies if not, but the extra descriptions etc... seems more like a man posting or someone who doesnt actually have these issues.
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Old 01-12-2007, 08:22 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by Ruby Ripples View Post
Is it just me, or does this first post here, not seem just a tad....well.. fake? Apologies if not, but the extra descriptions etc... seems more like a man posting or someone who doesnt actually have these issues.
I'm on the fence about it. I had the same thoughts, though.
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Old 01-12-2007, 08:25 AM   #7
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Ruby,

I am not a man! Sorry if I got too descriptive...sheesh. I've noticed lots of people get very graphic on the boards...I thought I was being pretty discreet. This subject has been discussed before so I thought I was well within the boundaries. By the way I just checked out your website and it's very cute!

Perhaps I will talk my husband about what I've observed re: his reactions to me. I'm not sure how to bring it up, maybe I will paly it by ear.

Fat Erica
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Old 01-12-2007, 11:00 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by Fat Erica View Post
Ruby,

I am not a man! Sorry if I got too descriptive...sheesh. I've noticed lots of people get very graphic on the boards...I thought I was being pretty discreet. This subject has been discussed before so I thought I was well within the boundaries. By the way I just checked out your website and it's very cute!

Perhaps I will talk my husband about what I've observed re: his reactions to me. I'm not sure how to bring it up, maybe I will paly it by ear.

Fat Erica
I apologise if I was wrong Erica, it was the desciptions that did make it sound more like a titillating descriptive story rather than a real query. I know that when I do those kind of blog entries I have to actually stop and really think about each thing that happens to me when I exert myself, as it's all so normal to me.

Thanks for the compliment on my site If you look at some comments there you can see some reactions to exactly the kind of thing you spoke about, loads of guys get turned on by it.
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Old 01-12-2007, 11:54 AM   #9
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Yeah.... I definitely had that suspicion as well after reading it. Just something about the cadence-- like an attempt to jump-start a discussion that will, itself, be a turn on.

However for some reason I don’t think it is. But I could be wrong. I usually am.

Being out-of-shape is a turn on for feeders more than it is for FAs. There’s an innate darkness to it. Its sort of one of those things that’s a turn on in theory rather than in practice. Nobody in their right mind wants to see their loved one struggle to live a normal and happy life.

If I had more time I’d write more. This is an interesting topic worthy of dissection. But I have to have lunch with an ex girlfriend over on the west side. Wish me luck, people.

-Martin


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruby Ripples View Post
Is it just me, or does this first post here, not seem just a tad....well.. fake? Apologies if not, but the extra descriptions etc... seems more like a man posting or someone who doesnt actually have these issues.
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Old 01-12-2007, 03:08 PM   #10
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Default A couple of possible explanations

I think that many FA, or at the very least many feeders/encouragers but I think many regular FA as well, really love the evidence of fat, and also sometimes get a kick out of what I call “fat lifestyle.” So some people are fat in part because they get little exercise. Many fat people find all sorts of physical activity difficult. Stereotypically fat people are lazy and struggle to do anything physically. Therefore many people who like fat like those things by association—they are sort of reinforcement that the person is fat. It is similar to how some FA love seeing a woman waddle, or get turned on by the sight of a fat woman in too tight clothes. These things that are associated with being fat in their minds have become turn-ons in their own right. So, that is my opinion on part of why so many guys here like it.

Outside the FA world, I can well believe that there are guys who like it too. Some guys always find a somewhat helpless woman sexy. It is a weird sort of inverse power thing. On the one hand she is this weak and delicate thing that can’t take care of herself, so may seem powerless. But at the same time, this requires the guy to take care of her more, so in a way it is a type of power too. I think some guys get a real thrill out of that dynamic. I think it is probably also part of the explanation why so much “sexy” women’s fashion has always tended to be very restrictive—from corsets to hoop skirts to high-heels to tight skirts. It helps force this sort of relationship, which is obviously popular with a lot of both genders.

If he enjoys it, and you enjoy his enjoyment of it, I’d like to point out that you don’t actually have to become more unfit to have fun with it. You just have to play it up occasionally. Struggle to get out of a chair a couple of times, then ask him if he could give you a hand. Drop something, then ask him to pick it up for you. Even get him to untie your shoes sometime. Don’t do it all the time, but done occasionally and deliberately it could be interesting :-)

Finally, these are just my thoughts and observations. I claim no objective evidence that they are accurate. Believe at your own risk, no warranty of accuracy or sanity implied. Your mileage may vary. etc.

-Ed
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Old 01-12-2007, 07:50 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by Ruby Ripples View Post
Is it just me, or does this first post here, not seem just a tad....well.. fake? Apologies if not, but the extra descriptions etc... seems more like a man posting or someone who doesnt actually have these issues.
I actually wondered the same while reading it....
The only thing that gave it any merit to me was the part where she had to add a disclaimer about having no health problems.....

My apologies too if I'm off base. This is the internet with lots of trolls and people who think anonymity makes them clever so we tend to be wary- especially on a forum such as this.
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Old 01-12-2007, 08:51 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Giraffes?Giraffes! View Post
Yeah.... I definitely had that suspicion as well after reading it. Just something about the cadence-- like an attempt to jump-start a discussion that will, itself, be a turn on.

However for some reason I don’t think it is. But I could be wrong. I usually am.

Being out-of-shape is a turn on for feeders more than it is for FAs. There’s an innate darkness to it. Its sort of one of those things that’s a turn on in theory rather than in practice. Nobody in their right mind wants to see their loved one struggle to live a normal and happy life.

If I had more time I’d write more. This is an interesting topic worthy of dissection. But I have to have lunch with an ex girlfriend over on the west side. Wish me luck, people.

-Martin
+1

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Old 01-12-2007, 10:14 PM   #13
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Edx,

Thanks for your insight. I think it sounds right on. We already play the games you suggested but I don't think my husband knows I am on to him. My husband has never been the classic feeder, he certainly does not restrict what I eat but I have never been a binge eater. He doesn't seem to be at all turned on by me eating which I guess is a little weird going by other mens' experiences here.

I'm sorry if I came off as perverted! I am so embarrassed! I was merely trying to be as descriptive as possible.

Look, I have a good marriage and my husband would NEVER get off on me really struggling to the point of suffering. It's just the daily mundane tasks which is why I listed them in my 1st post. Like I said, I'm not immobile, but when you get to a certain size, moving around comes at a price. Since this is the reality of my situation, I guess I may as well have fun with it, at least for the sake of my husband. I think this weekend I will play this up a bit and see what happens...I may never have to openly discuss it with him, it may just be something understood.

Yet I do wonder if my husband's unfitness turn on is in the minority within the FA community.

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Old 08-23-2011, 04:46 AM   #14
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Default I like the unfit moments too

I'll admit it's a turn on for me to see my lover (a medium size bbw size 20-22) huff and puff to climb stairs and get out of breath. I love it that she just wants to plop in bed or on the couch after even mild exertion and she even admits she likes being lazy around me Those moments of unfitness reach their peak in the bedroom when she really gets out of breath and it validates what drives me wild about her, (one of the many things that drive me wild) she loves to indulge in delicious food and lets herself go and that is a total turn on for me. She may complain a bit, from time to time about gaining a few lbs or going up a dress size, but she's right back at the table, wild eyed and happy as a lark when she's tucking into another 24 ouce rib-eye steak that is hanging off the plate as her rolls are bulging out of her clothes--it's a turn on for both of us
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Old 08-24-2011, 02:46 PM   #15
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Default Me Too.

While I don't enjoy seeing a heavy person in obvious discomfort and I find my own unfitness to be aggravating when I can barely get up a flight of stairs without getting out of breath, there is something about seeing an attractive fat woman struggling with every day movements, etc. that is a turn-on for me. I think it is tied into the notion of a woman letting herself go, overindulging in fattening foods, and then experiencing the effects of that overindulgence that is so erotic.

A small example. My cousin grew fat immediately after getting married and she continues to love to eat. At family get togethers, I love watching her give in and completely stuff herself at the dinner table. Often she will excuse herself and lay down on the couch to rest and let her food digest. At a recent get together, when she tried to get up, she found it difficult and held out her hands to me, asking if I would help her up to the table for dessert. That action alone was an enormous turn-on to me and later she did not even ask me, she just held out her hands again knowing that I would provide the assistance she needed. I helped her up again and I found myself just as turned on as before by her inability to even stand due to her own overindulgence. Her unfitness at that moment was obviously a source of pure erotic pleasure for me.

So share your thoughts and perceptions with your husband and ask if he enjoys it. As was said earlier, you may find it will add a new erotic dimension to your relationship. So yes there are FA's who, given the right situtuation, are turned on by unfitness in the opposite sex.
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Old 09-06-2013, 03:38 PM   #16
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Total turn on with regard to weight gain and fitness and your significant other!

Here are a few things my wife does that turn me on that I think is so sexy:

(My wife happens to be a pear shape 5' 3" and these were things that happened between 175-200 Lbs.)


1) Has a slight waddle with her big butt and thighs and makes slight sounds on some surfaces with her heavier steps

2) While eating on the couch and slightly bent over gets out of breath with her belly in the way and cutting off a bit of oxygen from being so full

3) Slightly jumps up and down struggling to put on a pair of jeans she rarely wears anymore with her breasts and belly bouncing and jiggling out of control...... and then starts breathing like she just ran a marathon

4) Getting up off of the couch after a big meal is a struggle and eventually leads to some moans and then sighs after she accomplishes getting to her feet

5) My favorite is ....... after getting to bed.... her turning and moving to get comfortable feeling the bed move and then hearing her sigh and then being heavily out of breath for a good 10-20 seconds....followed by her saying "There's a lot more of me to move around these days"
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Old 09-07-2013, 07:22 PM   #17
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Wow.. original thread is from 2007. Original poster posted three times total and hasn't been here since 2008. Probably was a work of fiction, or if she was for real maybe she was so disgusted that people didn't believe her that she left. Guess we'll never know.

She's probably working nights in some fudge shop with Kelligirl.

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Old 09-07-2013, 11:43 PM   #18
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It seemed like a good thread starting out. Too bad the op was scared off by people whot thought she was posting with nefarious intent.
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Old 09-08-2013, 03:20 AM   #19
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It seemed like a good thread starting out. Too bad the op was scared off by people whot thought she was posting with nefarious intent.
Her description seemed bizarre to me, as I'm almost exactly the same height and weight as she is and have none of the problems she has. I do martial arts for an hour at a time though I have cut back from 6-8 times a week to 2 times a week due to financial constraints. To me it almost seemed like a caricature of fatness..but maybe I am the exception.

Although my heart is far from perfect; it was damaged by phen/fen, but that's way ot for this board.
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Old 09-15-2013, 07:18 AM   #20
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See I asked the question a while back on why certain people are attracted to big girls but the answers were not exactly what I was looking for. I just like like bigger girls, NOT obese at all, and I d DO NOT get the whole feeder thing in anyway. I just like bigger girls usually in the 175 to 200 pound range depending of course on height. I just like wide hips, and big asses, I also love soft chubby legs. I guess I'm on the lower end of being an FA. It seems most FA's on here love REALLY BIG, or obese women but again I don't understand that. To each his own though I say, but liking someone when they are in obvious pain or discomfort is in my opinion, just weird.
My wife is perfect for me, 5.3 and about 190, turns me on like insane. She knows I like bigger girls. Its all very sexy.
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Old 09-15-2013, 08:26 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by exile in thighville View Post
of course there's other people besides your husband who share that turn-on, but that doesn't mean it can be explained. oftentimes people with elaborate fetishes are even turned on by things against their own beliefs, i.e. people fantasize about raping someone aren't all rapists. i certainly don't believe fat females or any females are "piggies" but that doesn't mean i can help get turned on when a fat girl naughtily calls herself one. in a marriage especially but in all serious relationships, your sexual priority is understanding your own partner's needs, so talk to him. you're not going to learn anything from the people here who like that; their sexual and psychological makeup is all different. maybe some people like the huffing, maybe some people like the puffing. the only way to find out what your husband likes and how to safely explore it in the bedroom is to bring it up, as embarassing as it might be. it definitely sounds like you have a good relationship about to be made better with some fat-fetish hijinx in the bedroom though. make it happen, happily and healthily.
Ok, I know that this is a bit of a necropost despite some recent posts in this thread, but I wanted to address an issue raised by the OP and addressed in part by EIT.

Exile, I agree with you that the "ultimate" reasons for people's sexuality are probably ultimately beyond our ability to explain fully and that everyone's sexuality is different, both in its particular manifestation and in its underlying causes. But we seem to have meaningful conversations about why people find fat unattractive (e.g., some perceive fat people as lazy, gluttonous, etc., don't like these qualities, and thus find fat people unattractive), so I think we can take a similar look at the reasons people have for finding fat attractive. I think this sort of conversation is really useful for just that.

I think the thread has hit on a couple things that are involved in all this. One of them has a lot to do with pleasure: folks who find fat (and unfitness) attractive may see it as a sign that the fat person has totally given themselves over to the pleasure they get from eating, that they put it a little higher in their priorities than other people. It's that perception of intense or overwhelming pleasure in the other person that seems to be one of the things at the heart of this, at least for some folks.

I think that Tad hit on something with the power thing, too:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tad View Post
Outside the FA world, I can well believe that there are guys who like it too. Some guys always find a somewhat helpless woman sexy. It is a weird sort of inverse power thing. On the one hand she is this weak and delicate thing that can’t take care of herself, so may seem powerless. But at the same time, this requires the guy to take care of her more, so in a way it is a type of power too. I think some guys get a real thrill out of that dynamic. I think it is probably also part of the explanation why so much “sexy” women’s fashion has always tended to be very restrictive—from corsets to hoop skirts to high-heels to tight skirts. It helps force this sort of relationship, which is obviously popular with a lot of both genders.
There's probably something problematic about this, but at the same time I don't think it means everyone who's attracted to fat is some sick, power-hungry bastard who wants to overpower their partner. (For two reasons: one is that many people are perfectly capable of maintaining the boundary between fantasy and reality and are loving and respectful and supportive toward their partner. The other is that there could be other dynamics that play into the fat/power thing. For instance, some folks are attracted to people who are large/tall/muscular and fat.)

Anyway, this has turned into a bit of a ramble, but even though none of this is a systematic explanation, I think that these sorts of this help explain how fat works in sexuality for many of us.
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Old 09-16-2013, 09:15 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by johnny99 View Post
See I asked the question a while back on why certain people are attracted to big girls but the answers were not exactly what I was looking for. I just like like bigger girls, NOT obese at all, and I d DO NOT get the whole feeder thing in anyway. I just like bigger girls usually in the 175 to 200 pound range depending of course on height. I just like wide hips, and big asses, I also love soft chubby legs. I guess I'm on the lower end of being an FA. It seems most FA's on here love REALLY BIG, or obese women but again I don't understand that. To each his own though I say, but liking someone when they are in obvious pain or discomfort is in my opinion, just weird.
My wife is perfect for me, 5.3 and about 190, turns me on like insane. She knows I like bigger girls. Its all very sexy.
johnny99.....your wife is same height and similar weight as my wife used to be. It was a really good look on my wife at that weight being that she is a pear shape with DD breasts, large ass hips and thighs. That is a pretty good "sweet spot" for my wife but I still envisioned her with an extra 20-30 Lbs and liked to see where they would end up. Usually if she gained a little more it would keep going to her lower belly and her fluffy upper arms which I really liked......so I really wanted to see her at 230 Lbs. but that never happened.

Do you ever want to see a little more on your pear shaped beauty?
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Old 09-16-2013, 01:58 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by voluptuouslover View Post
johnny99.....your wife is same height and similar weight as my wife used to be. It was a really good look on my wife at that weight being that she is a pear shape with DD breasts, large ass hips and thighs. That is a pretty good "sweet spot" for my wife but I still envisioned her with an extra 20-30 Lbs and liked to see where they would end up. Usually if she gained a little more it would keep going to her lower belly and her fluffy upper arms which I really liked......so I really wanted to see her at 230 Lbs. but that never happened.

Do you ever want to see a little more on your pear shaped beauty?
No, I have to be honest here, she is perfect. She is 190, and to me 190 or 175 is perfect, but that's just me. She is beyond sexy to me right here.
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