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Old 06-29-2013, 01:13 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by Amaranthine View Post
  • Perhaps women are more swayed and deterred by social pressure. Therefore, they just suppress or hide their preferences.
  • Or maybe women are just less inclined to make a big deal about it. They prefer big guys and that's that. No need to highlight it. So when people try to guestimate the number of FFAs, they're only focusing on ones who made a bigger deal of it
  • Fetish-level attraction vs. preference level attraction. I have read that women are less prone to paraphilias/fetishes. So women who fixate on fat/food, are feeders, etc...may just be less common altogether.
I think it's a combination of these and an additional idea that if an attractive woman is with a large guy, she's in it for his money/status. That is something a lot of people looking on will assume and no one will even consider it could be her preference. If this is the case...I'm SOL.

A thin guy and a big girl? Well that's just an abomination of nature and people will take more notice of it. Guy's are supposed to be bigger and dominant. Guys are supposed to go for young and fit women who are best suited for popping out and caring for his children. Anything else is a deviation.


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Originally Posted by Donnybrook View Post
And we haven't even gotten to preferences women have for attributes men possess below the belt.
Now hold on now. Am I hearing you correctly? Never have I have heard anything to suggest that any women prefer 'less is more' in this aspect of men. Not unless she's just trying to soothe a bruised ego. Are you suggesting this is not a universal truth?
Answer carefully, or you could bring down all of civilization.
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Old 06-29-2013, 01:26 PM   #52
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Now hold on now. Am I hearing you correctly? Never have I have heard anything to suggest that any women prefer 'less is more' in this aspect of men. Not unless she's just trying to soothe a bruised ego. Are you suggesting this is not a universal truth?
Answer carefully, or you could bring down all of civilization.
Well I am not exactly cavernous so I wouldn't want somebody too large down there and I know a lot of girls think the same! Pain is not sexy! ...unless you think it is. ^^;
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Old 06-29-2013, 02:41 PM   #53
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I have to admit, every time I see FFA, I don't think fat admiration. The first thing that pops into my head is Future Farmers of America.

Wonder what that means sub-consciously? There's something for the armchair pop-psychologists to chew on!
Future Farmers of America celebrating Black History Month..... hawtness!
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Old 06-30-2013, 01:43 AM   #54
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I usually meet FFA's at bookstores, libraries, comic-con and sporting events.. Heck, some of them are definitely shy at times and quite aggressive as well. Especially, the thin ffa's that has thing for bhm's that weighting more than 300 plus!!!!
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Old 06-30-2013, 05:43 AM   #55
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I usually meet FFA's at bookstores, libraries, comic-con and sporting events.. Heck, some of them are definitely shy at times and quite aggressive as well. Especially, the thin ffa's that has thing for bhm's that weighting more than 300 plus!!!!
If I were a FFA, I'd be looking for single BHM at the supermarket. If a guy is shopping alone, chances are he's not in a relationship. If he's loading up on single serve frozen dinners, that's the clincher that he's a bachelor.
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Old 06-30-2013, 07:20 AM   #56
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If I were a FFA, I'd be looking for single BHM at the supermarket. If a guy is shopping alone, chances are he's not in a relationship. If he's loading up on single serve frozen dinners, that's the clincher that he's a bachelor.
I always look for potential mates around the food dispensing shops. That's all I need to know we have in common.
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Old 06-30-2013, 02:40 PM   #57
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I usually meet FFA's at bookstores, libraries, comic-con and sporting events.. Heck, some of them are definitely shy at times and quite aggressive as well. Especially, the thin ffa's that has thing for bhm's that weighting more than 300 plus!!!!
So basically you meet women in places?
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Old 06-30-2013, 03:30 PM   #58
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chaz, yeah, I meet alot of single ladies in those places. There nothing but FFA's at comic con and sporting events in South!
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Old 07-01-2013, 04:25 AM   #59
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I do believe a *whoosh* is in order here

I've got to say though, if you're really coming across, "nothing but FFA's" at the places you go, I must be living in the wrong part of the south.

...or maybe it's just that, "not being the least bit proactive about it" thing that's getting in my way. Who knows?
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Old 07-01-2013, 06:10 AM   #60
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I always look for potential mates around the food dispensing shops. That's all I need to know we have in common.
Not sure if sarcasm...



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Originally Posted by blackcaesarbhm View Post
chaz, yeah, I meet alot of single ladies in those places. There nothing but FFA's at comic con and sporting events in South!
Things are different here way up north as far as comic cons go. All the local comic geek girls seem to be paired up with heroin-thin guys with frosted hair and hipster jeans.
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Old 07-01-2013, 03:34 PM   #61
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MrSensible, you need try your luck in Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia and definitely Texas...
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Old 07-01-2013, 04:16 PM   #62
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MrSensible, you need try your luck in Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia and definitely Texas...
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I do believe a *whoosh* is in order here

I've got to say though, if you're really coming across, "nothing but FFA's" at the places you go, I must be living in the wrong part of the south.

...or maybe it's just that, "not being the least bit proactive about it" thing that's getting in my way. Who knows?
There's your problem! You forgot to look for women in the state that you live in!

...
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Old 07-01-2013, 04:28 PM   #63
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My brand of humor appears to be falling short on this forum lately
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Old 07-01-2013, 06:57 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by Amaranthine View Post
  • Perhaps women are more swayed and deterred by social pressure. Therefore, they just suppress or hide their preferences.
  • Or maybe women are just less inclined to make a big deal about it. They prefer big guys and that's that. No need to highlight it. So when people try to guestimate the number of FFAs, they're only focusing on ones who made a bigger deal of it
  • Fetish-level attraction vs. preference level attraction. I have read that women are less prone to paraphilias/fetishes. So women who fixate on fat/food, are feeders, etc...may just be less common altogether.
I must disagree, maybe it's a POV thing. In my opinion, women care MUCH more about the physical shape(not health related) of a man. In my experibce, when man is considered "out of shape" he's gotta have that much more going for him...while a man "in shape" requires that much less going for him.
Yeah yeah, I know it's common "misconception" and I'll change my "misconception" when I encounter any confliction to it.
Just my view/experience.
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Old 07-01-2013, 07:13 PM   #65
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I must disagree, maybe it's a POV thing. In my opinion, women care MUCH more about the physical shape(not health related) of a man. In my experibce, when man is considered "out of shape" he's gotta have that much more going for him...while a man "in shape" requires that much less going for him.
Yeah yeah, I know it's common "misconception" and I'll change my "misconception" when I encounter any confliction to it.
Just my view/experience.
If a girl I don't find attractive wants me to be into her, she has to have something good going for her in order for me to be able to overcome that physical aspect. That is how it works for the vast majority I would hazard to guess.
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Old 07-01-2013, 07:33 PM   #66
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I must disagree, maybe it's a POV thing. In my opinion, women care MUCH more about the physical shape(not health related) of a man. In my experibce, when man is considered "out of shape" he's gotta have that much more going for him...while a man "in shape" requires that much less going for him.
Yeah yeah, I know it's common "misconception" and I'll change my "misconception" when I encounter any confliction to it.
Just my view/experience.
I was talking specifically about women who are FFAs. As in...reasons we may believe there to be less FFAs than there actually are. It's hard to judge, because some women might just suppress it altogether or not make a big deal about it, etc. It seems like you're addressing more typically-preferenced women, in regards to looking past a guy's size.

I agree with Chaz. I don't know if men or women are worse in that regard, but it seems pretty universal to me. A thin guy has to be utterly utterly amazing for me to be compelled to date him.
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Old 07-01-2013, 07:47 PM   #67
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There's your problem! You forgot to look for women in the state that you live in!

...
*Mind Blown* It was so obvious... That damned forest, for those damned trees, couldn't see it...

In his defense, considering that I do most of my socializing on the net these days, it's pretty rare that I fraternize with any other Alabamians (ha, that's actually a word.) I realllly don't belong here, so it tends to work out for the best .
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Old 07-02-2013, 08:32 AM   #68
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  • Perhaps women are more swayed and deterred by social pressure. Therefore, they just suppress or hide their preferences.
  • Or maybe women are just less inclined to make a big deal about it. They prefer big guys and that's that. No need to highlight it. So when people try to guestimate the number of FFAs, they're only focusing on ones who made a bigger deal of it
  • Fetish-level attraction vs. preference level attraction. I have read that women are less prone to paraphilias/fetishes. So women who fixate on fat/food, are feeders, etc...may just be less common altogether.

Those all sound like reasonable reasons, I'd be inclined to agree. Especially the middle one--if feels to me like guys are more apt to take what they like, and take it to extremes, than are women (as usual, more difference within a gender than between them, but on average).

With regard to what Donnybrook was saying, an observation from a lot of guys is that is amazing how much more female attention they seem to get once they are 'taken.' I don't know if it is because they are now considered safe to flirt with, or if the endorsement of one woman makes us more attractive to other women?

On the other hand, amongst my (male) friends I'd say that there seems to be a mix of 'low on my list' and 'wow I'm jealous,' without a lot in between. It seems a few of the guys have similar tastes, and it has created a bit of drama over the years (one friend married the ex-gf of another guy in our group, for instance), but for the most part the women that any one of us has gone out with have not at all interested the others.

In my case, although I'm an FA I started dating my wife when she was still fairly small (size 12/14 at the time, which would probably be more like a 10/12 in most stores now), but my friends were generally "Really? This isn't serious, right? Let's go out and we'll find you some other women to mingle with, see if you don't find something better." (I disabused them of that notion quickly).
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Old 07-02-2013, 09:01 AM   #69
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rook was saying, an observation from a lot of guys is that is amazing how much more female attention they seem to get once they are 'taken.' I don't know if it is because they are now considered safe to flirt with, or if the endorsement of one woman makes us more attractive to other women?
Actually, it's been observed that even men in the company a female friend increases other women's interest in him. That's why a lot of dating coaches preach how invaluable wingwomen can be to guys.

As to 'why'? It could be that on an unconscious level, women perceive such a guy as less of a potential threat when other women 'vouch' for him by being around him. It could also be triggering a bit of competition in thier mating instinct.

Or it could be that the guy himself is more relaxed and confident and it comes through in his body language. Perhaps this is why a lot of men report that when they're in a relationship, suddenly more women are flirting with them even when the guy is solo at that moment.
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Old 07-02-2013, 02:46 PM   #70
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My brand of humor appears to be falling short on this forum lately
I haven't posted much on the forum lately, but I can recall two times in the past month that I've peed a little reading what you wrote.

You brand of Humor is appreciated.
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Old 07-10-2013, 09:51 PM   #71
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This site makes me feel like a dang unicorn lol. I think that there are more FFA's than we'd like to think because so many women can get away with saying that "he's just a big guy" and people don't consider it a fetish. I wish people were just more open about it. I'm 5'2'' and range between 160-170lbs which makes me fairly "proportionate" looking I suppose. I am your typical 20's something student.

I prefer my man to be soft all over and gaining. I am not "out" per se other than to my current roommate whom I drunkenly confessed to one night. She found it interesting and did not judge me for it (Thank GOD). I don't necessarily feel the need to let everyone I know in on this "dirty little secret" mostly because I do not need to hear their opinion on it. I joined this site recently just to learn more about myself and the world I seem to be apart of.

Nice to read all of your entries, very enlightening!
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Old 07-11-2013, 06:16 AM   #72
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Does your boyfriend know of your preference for men to be gaining?

In the end, it is your partner that is probably the most important, but hardest, person to communicate this stuff to. Not that you have to give them full details, but at least a good clue.
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Old 07-11-2013, 12:40 PM   #73
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Originally Posted by Tad View Post
Does your boyfriend know of your preference for men to be gaining?

In the end, it is your partner that is probably the most important, but hardest, person to communicate this stuff to. Not that you have to give them full details, but at least a good clue.

No he does not and I didn't know how to explain it to him so that's what got me researching all of this. I still am unsure of how to bring it up just because it is out of the norm. He is really smart so I'm sure he has heard of this before, but I am 100% unsure of how he would react. *sigh

My ex had figured it out for the most part, he was a wrestler and they have tendencies to starve themselves to make weight and that obviously drove me nuts and I was very vocal about how I didnt like it and one day he called me out.

All in all I would like to tell him one day...
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Old 07-11-2013, 01:22 PM   #74
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Originally Posted by kh818 View Post
No he does not and I didn't know how to explain it to him so that's what got me researching all of this. I still am unsure of how to bring it up just because it is out of the norm. He is really smart so I'm sure he has heard of this before, but I am 100% unsure of how he would react. *sigh

My ex had figured it out for the most part, he was a wrestler and they have tendencies to starve themselves to make weight and that obviously drove me nuts and I was very vocal about how I didnt like it and one day he called me out.

All in all I would like to tell him one day...
A few quick thoughts (relevant thoughts? That I don't promise....)
- research is good! You'll find there are a lot of similarities, and a lot of differences, between various FA, and it may help you understand your own desires better.
- Being smart does not always mean being informed in every area. Maybe he's pretty hip to various sexual kinks....but never underestimate the power of male obliviousness.
- Even if he doesn't know about it in general, yah he may have a pretty good idea of what you like.
- As you've already seen, just because your partner likes it, doesn't mean that you will....so yah, you have every reason to tread carefully.
- You don't have to do a full confession of every detail right up front, just start with a few comments that like "Mmmm, I like how cuddly you feel" or "I know it isn't in fashion, but I love seeing a guy eat well. No skinny hipsters living on cigarettes and salad for me!" or "It feels sooo good to have your weight on top of me, it is such a rush."
- and in general, actions speak louder than words for guys, so what you touch, what food you give him, will probably do more to convince him of how you feel than any number of words.
- but speaking of words, praising his looks to other people can't hurt--knowing you are proud of him can do wonders for the famously fragile male ego.

I hope that was more helpful than confusing. Good luck!
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Old 07-11-2013, 01:55 PM   #75
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Thanks Tad, that was helpful.

I don't think going straight for it and spilling my guts would really go super smooth, so I'm thinking hint dropping will be the best way to go. I suppose that I am somewhat a feeder? Nothing extreme. So that is another discussion within itself I think. Boy does he have a lot coming his way lol. Oy vey!
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