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Old Today, 06:07 AM   #126
Tad
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FWIW, regarding what Loopy remembered of what I said, the three categories I wrote about some time ago were roughly:

- liking fat on prospective partners, classically being sexually attracted to fat women if you are a heterosexual guy and liking fat women if you are a heterosexual woman, etc.

- liking fat on those people who would not be in your sexual partner pool (preferring the look of other fat guys for a strictly heterosexual male, etc)

- liking fat on yourself.

With the note that people can be one, two, or all three of those things.

Nowadays I'd probably be more inclined to just do a 2x2 grid, with one axis running from "fat as an erotic preference" to "fat as an esthetic preference" and the other axis being "others" "self." (which doesn't properly describe the case of someone who is attracted to thin members of one gender and fat members of another, or who would like to be a thin lady or a fat man, etc, etc, but you can only do so much with two dimensional charts!), and pointing out that people can identify with from zero to all four of those quadrants.

(the main difference being that I came to recognize that some people get turned on by being fat but yet can feel it makes them unattractive, or can like the look of being fat but associating that with being less sexual than if they were thin. Should have been obvious, but I just hadn't considered those options)
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Old Today, 12:31 PM   #127
fatgrllvr
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by loopytheone View Post
I think you're underestimating the amount of wariness that most women have towards men. You might trust an acquaintance to touch you, but for women, we are more likely to be raped by a person we know than by a complete stranger. You have to be far, far higher on the tier of friendship/trust before most women would be comfortable being touched by you. And then, it also depends on the person. From the sounds of it you are a fairly tactile person that doesn't mind being touched. I'm the opposite; I wouldn't let a member of my family or my best friend touch my torso or thighs simply because I don't like being touched by anyone.
I agree - even a woman who doesn't mind being touched per se would be (and should be) wary about most men touching them. To paraphrase a saying, "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will rape or kill them." Of course, the vast majority of men don't want to rape or kill women, but unfortunately the few who do are not likely to reveal themselves until it's too late.

[QUOTE} (Originally posted by Loopytheone): As for the FFA thing, I would have though that you'd be looking for a fat FFA? I mean, you enjoy being fat and want to remain fat so surely you would want a partner that appreciated that and found your weight as attractive as you find it, right? It reminds me of something Tad said once, about there being different aspects to being an FA. I can't remember exactly what he said, but what I remember is that there are at least two aspects to being an FA; liking your own fat and liking fat on others. Those two things don't always co-exist together (fit people often like BBW/BHM) but you are ideally looking for a partner who mirrors those preferences; one who likes others fat and one who likes being fat, for instance. But you like both, so really you need a partner that likes both too. This is a realisation I came to a while ago in terms of myself. I love fat people and am definitely an FA (so I want a fat partner) but I also like being fat myself and want to be adored for that (so my partner needs to be an FA too). As a fat FFA who's only ever been in serious relationships with other fat FAs, I can assure you it does happen and is definitely what I would advise looking for.[END QUOTE]

Interesting point. Some FAs (including FFAs) obviously like being fat themselves, and some prefer not to be fat, for any number of reasons. I was fat when I was a kid, and I'm also on the autism spectrum (Asperger's), although nobody was aware of such a thing back in the day. As a result, I was bullied a lot. At age 11, I started exercising and studying self-defense, and by the time I was 13 or 14, the bullying had pretty much ended. The exercise/self-defense habit stuck with me, however, as did a loathing for bullies, bigots, and anyone who demeans others. So I'm in the more or less fit (if old) FA category, but it has nothing to do with bad feelings about fat on anyone. In fact, I can definitely see the hotness of two fat bodies coming together (so to speak).
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