The Reality Of Dating An SSBBW

[UncannyBruceman]

Originally Posted by largenlovely

it's handi-capable thank you very much lol

and ya know, i wouldn't have totally understood it either as a smaller bbw even. I was always able to get around and do things that needed to be done. It wasn't until the last couple years that i totally started realizing that life is completely different as a large sized SSBBW.So i imagine the men are quiet unaware of a lot of these things. Which is why we really needed this thread

Actually, it's hottie-capable. But again, us men don't associate fat with impairments or debilitations, which is why some of you need to be a little patient with those who are learning as they go. We don't know what it's like to be so large. We see you as goddesses; far from handicapped. Some guys need a little time to see and understand that you goddesses need goddess treatment, and it can be frustrating for the less-experienced.

I was ready for you and you were ready for me, but not all girls will be so fortunate and not all guys will be so learned, so hopefully we all have opened some eyes and taught some lessons.

[Ample Pie]

Originally Posted by ripley

I agree that it's needed. Almost every SS woman I know has a story about how men were not willing or not prepared to deal with our realities. Whether he walks 20 feet ahead of us and growls 'cause we're slow or gets grossed out because we've got skin discoloration or pissed that we can't fit in his car and have to take the bus...or or or or....

Yes, this is stuff I've seen or heard about too. And it's these reasons that I think a non-judgmental, heads up of a thread could be nice. I'm not about putting down the guys for what they have or don't have, it's just nice (and way less stressful) when they're aware of how things are different. That's all.

[largenlovely]

yes and as has already been mentioned..not all of these things apply to each and every girl, but even just reading or thinking about these issues will be helpful. I mean, that way if it does arise, they will maybe remember reading it on this thread and recognize it in their own relationship and be more prepared on how to deal with it.

Originally Posted by Rebecca

Yes, this is stuff I've seen or heard about too. And it's these reasons that I think a non-judgmental, heads up of a thread could be nice. I'm not about putting down the guys for what they have or don't have, it's just nice (and way less stressful) when they're aware of how things are different. That's all.

[bigsexy920]

The whole thing is really about being considerate to the person you love, admire and care about is having their needs met.

You can do it or not do it. You could care or not care.

I do know that there are many men in many womens lives that bend over backwards to get their woman what ever they need. Im not talking about SSBBW's either - just in general.

I dont expect a man to provide me with EVERYTHING i need Ive been self sufficiant for years. I fit in my house my car, my tub and my toliet. I do have stairs that I wish i didnt but Its not the end of the world.

I make sure things are going to work out for me. I will try to call ahead when it comes to seating, or ask about seats when I get there. I dont NEED a guy to do it. I do it daily for myself. It would just be nice sometimes to not have to worry about it and maybe someone else that claims love - or like to handle it.

Anyway - Just my 2 cents.

[LillyBBBW]

Originally Posted by loggamatt

lol... again, I'm sorry for the way that my posts have somehow 'come across'. But as you yourself have said that I didn't say that, and I have consistently stated that I don't hold that view, I'm still at a bit of a loss to explain how this has happened.

That I can't answer Matt. Being a SSBBW entails issues that we are very very sensitive about and very defensive about. Saying anything amiss is like tickling a tiger in the butt with a feather. I'm sure whatever infamy you enjoy did much to help things along, though I had no knowledge of it at all and even my nostrils flared.

[Fyreflyintheskye]

You're all making the tiger cry. See that? Now let's move on Poor little guy.

[mszwebs]

Originally Posted by BigBellySSBBW

I'm soooo sorry that the reality that IS MY LIFE is off putting to you.

That was me stating that in MY life, *I* would be slightly weirded out. Why? Because I don't know any FA's in real life, except the ones that I have met through here. It woudl not occour to me that someone WOULD think of those things. and THAT is why it would weird me out. Donni, please do not put words into my mouth.

My life has quite a few realities, thank you very much.

Please so not turn it into something else.

No, no no. This is NOT one fat woman against another here.

[LillyBBBW]

Originally Posted by ShakenBakeSharleen

shhh... tiger crying.

I thought that tiger was yawning. I don't blame him. What a snoozer this thing is turning out to be.

[Fyreflyintheskye]

uh oh. There he goes again. I think he is crying because he finds this all so unproductive

[BeautifulPoeticDisaster]

Originally Posted by ShakenBakeSharleen

uh oh. There he goes again. I think he is crying because he finds this all so unproductive

lol, lil tiger looks terrified!

[Fyreflyintheskye]

[LillyBBBW]

Originally Posted by ShakenBakeSharleen

Ok, who took my feather?

[SocialbFly]

Can we get back on topic???

I am dating a new guy, and i gotta tell ya, the thought of having to educate him on all of this crap (cause there are differences to dating a SSBBW!!!), just well, is intimidating...

so,let's get back on topic?? Others have asked, i thought i would throw my two cents in too...

all i can think of is i hope when i go to his house, that he has strong furniture, i dont want to be the one who is known as the one who broke this or that...

[LillyBBBW]

Originally Posted by mszwebs

Actually, what I said was off putting was the thought that someone would actually THINK of those needs...not that the needs themselves were off putting. TO ME, IN MY LIFE - because as I said in the above post, I have NEVER encountered that before.

Those two ideas are in no way one and the same.

I do see how they may have been misinterpreted, and for that I appologize.

Like I said. We're on the same side here, ok

I just want to say that I'm 41 years old. Go me! Just met a guy, he's 37 I think? If he had reinforced furniture and all that stuff it would not worry me just because it seems unrealistic to expect that a 37 year old man has never dated a fat girl before IF that is his prefference. "How many people have you dated before?" seems one of those questions that at this point I don't really want to know. Just me talking. I'm just saying that if you're dating an older guy you may want to consider that he's had expereinces already that prompted him to consider certain precautions like carrying condoms, have a king sized bed, etc.

[SocialbFly]

Originally Posted by LillyBBBW

I just want to say that I'm 41 years old. Go me! Just met a guy, he's 37 I think? If he had reinforced furniture and all that stuff it would not worry me just because it seems unrealistic to expect that a 37 year old man has never dated a fat girl before IF that is his prefference. "How many people have you dated before?" seems one of those questions that at this point I don't really want to know. Just me talking. I'm just saying that if you're dating an older guy you may want to consider that he's had expereinces already that prompted him to consider certain precautions like carrying condoms, have a king sized bed, etc.

OHHHH i need details....gimme the goss?

[LillyBBBW]

Originally Posted by SocialbFly

Can we get back on topic???

I am dating a new guy, and i gotta tell ya, the thought of having to educate him on all of this crap (cause there are differences to dating a SSBBW!!!), just well, is intimidating...

so,let's get back on topic?? Others have asked, i thought i would throw my two cents in too...

all i can think of is i hope when i go to his house, that he has strong furniture, i dont want to be the one who is known as the one who broke this or that...

The guy I'm seeing knows NOTHING. He's definitley an FA but is unfamiliar with the term and other lingo we here at Dimensions take for granted. He lives in this crappy little room which is fine, we meet at my house. He has dated BBWs before but not supersized. He drives this little car stuffed full of all kinds of junk. He's pretty much done things on his own and has not prepared for ANY woman let alone an SSBBW. Not that he's beastly Misogyny or anything, he's actually very sweet and trying hard to make a good impression. I like being able to hash out this kind of stuff so that when certain subjects do come up it can be handled in a way that is healthy for both of us.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Originally Posted by SocialbFly

Can we get back on topic???

I am dating a new guy, and i gotta tell ya, the thought of having to educate him on all of this crap (cause there are differences to dating a SSBBW!!!), just well, is intimidating...

so,let's get back on topic?? Others have asked, i thought i would throw my two cents in too...

all i can think of is i hope when i go to his house, that he has strong furniture, i dont want to be the one who is known as the one who broke this or that...

Yes...let's get back on topic. Post pix o nu man plz kthx

[Green Eyed Fairy]

Originally Posted by largenlovely

it's handi-capable thank you very much lol

and ya know, i wouldn't have totally understood it either as a smaller bbw even. I was always able to get around and do things that needed to be done. It wasn't until the last couple years that i totally started realizing that life is completely different as a large sized SSBBW.So i imagine the men are quiet unaware of a lot of these things. Which is why we really needed this thread

I would think they expected you to run off "shame faced" or something- glad to hear you turned the tables and left them that way

[BothGunsBlazing]

If anyone would like a ridiculous sounding but totally effective way of cracking an SSBBWs back or wants me to do it. I am totally awesome at it.

Just sayin'

[Brach311]

With the exception of marriage, it really fair for ANY person to expect the other to rearrange their life around them? Man or woman, big or small...is everything in your whole life really supposed to revolve around the person you are dating? If soneone starts dating a really tall guy, say 6'9...when is it ok for him to demand that you get a new car with more leg room, a new house with taller ceilings and doorways, new furniture with extra long leg rests, and of course a new bed. Would you do it? Or would you expect them to be happy with you and not base the future of your relationship on your the size of your house or your car?

Just food for thought, not attacking anyone, *runs and hides from all the angry people about to yell at me*

[BothGunsBlazing]

Originally Posted by Brach311

With the exception of marriage, it really fair for ANY person to expect the other to rearrange their life around them? Man or woman, big or small...is everything in your whole life really supposed to revolve around the person you are dating? If soneone starts dating a really tall guy, say 6'9...when is it ok for him to demand that you get a new car with more leg room, a new house with taller ceilings and doorways, new furniture with extra long leg rests, and of course a new bed. Would you do it? Or would you expect them to be happy with you and not base the future of your relationship on your the size of your house or your car?

Just food for thought, not attacking anyone, *runs and hides from all the angry people about to yell at me*

I think take into consideration is the key phrase here.

[Ample Pie]

again *sigh* no one's demanding crap, just saying don't be surprised by the different needs, abilities, and limitations. they exist but they don't mean that you're inferior if you haven't planned for each and every inevitability.

[LillyBBBW]

Originally Posted by Rebecca

again *sigh* no one's demanding crap, just saying don't be surprised by the different needs, abilities, and limitations. they exist but they don't mean that you're inferior if you haven't planned for each and every inevitability.

omg abandon all hope. Seriously this has been stated over and over on every page. There's nothing left to do but ignore the plainting wails and keep the discussion focus.

[candygodiva]

Little things like my FA looking ahead where I walk, cause I can't see the ground because of my big belly, and telling me to be careful of my step because of cracks in the pavement... always reaching out for my hand at those times, and before I have to step down somewhere or step up.. making sure anywhere we go there is a place for me to sit down and rest... always checking my comfort level to the point of annoyance sometimes.. making sure the bathroom in our home is totally fatty accessible.. making sure the tub is big enough for me to fit, barely, and there's a step for my foot when I need to rinse in the shower.. making sure to be right there for me when I step out of the tub.. always watching over me, and making sure I'm safe, fat and happy.
These are the things that make me one of the luckiest fat girls in the world. I know my FA is always looking out for me, and making sure I'm safe and comfortable.
I'll be traveling again the middle of next month, and he's losing his mind because it's at these times that he can't watch over me to make sure I don't fall, or get a cramp or something. He's so cute.

[LillyBBBW]

Originally Posted by candygodiva

Little things like my FA looking ahead where I walk, cause I can't see the ground because of my big belly, and telling me to be careful of my step because of cracks in the pavement... always reaching out for my hand at those times, and before I have to step down somewhere or step up.. making sure anywhere we go there is a place for me to sit down and rest... always checking my comfort level to the point of annoyance sometimes.. making sure the bathroom in our home is totally fatty accessible.. making sure the tub is big enough for me to fit, barely, and there's a step for my foot when I need to rinse in the shower.. making sure to be right there for me when I step out of the tub.. always watching over me, and making sure I'm safe, fat and happy.
These are the things that make me one of the luckiest fat girls in the world. I know my FA is always looking out for me, and making sure I'm safe and comfortable.
I'll be traveling again the middle of next month, and he's losing his mind because it's at these times that he can't watch over me to make sure I don't fall, or get a cramp or something. He's so cute.

Candy you are such a cutie. Sometimes there are hardships as an SSBBW that I sorta take for granted if that makes sense? I was out on a date and as we were crossing the street he stepped up on the curb and reached for my hand. I thought that was kinda odd. I chuckled a little and asked him what he was doing and he said he was helping me up on the curb. As first I felt like it was overkill. What are we, clawing our way up Everest or something? I played along 'cause he was cute and took his hand and hefted my way up on the curb. The thing is, my knees DO hurt when I climb the curb but I've gotten so used to it that I don't think about it anymore. His hand did actually help which astonished me in a way. *I* had never really considered I suppose. He must have picked up on this habit from previous experience or something. I started out thinking the gesture kinda condescending but managed to see it in the spirit for which it was intended. I won't storm off in a huff from now on if every FA I meet doesn't think to do this but it was very sweet. YMMV of course. Some chicks might feel put out or condescended to but I thought it was great. Eventually.