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Old 09-01-2009, 01:32 PM   #1
Tad
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Default Things a fat guy would like to be able to say

Im stealing this thread idea from the BBW board. The idea is if the world was the way that you liked, you might get to say these things.

Ill start:

I love the fit on these shorts, they actually sit at my waist instead of my rib-cage.

What a great selection of biking clothes, look--it goes to much bigger than my size!

A sports league just for bigger guys, so that we can compete? Yah Id love to join!
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Old 09-01-2009, 02:07 PM   #2
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Default

"Size 44 pants that don't have nine inches of fabric hanging from my feet? I'll buy 5 pairs!"

"Wow, these shorts are roomy enough for me to actually use the pockets without crushing my cell phone."

"Take my shirt off at the beach? Of course!"

"American Eagle {or any other name brand} has such a great selection of clothes in my size, without looking like tents."
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Old 09-01-2009, 02:10 PM   #3
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Default Hired!

I can start work Monday. (I searched for work for years
before I was finally able to go on disability!)
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[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Not pious, just saved by grace. Your true Christianity
shows in how you treat those who hate you.

You got to lose to know how to win.(Aerosmith-Dream On)

Fat is like grass, it'll never go away and there's a hell
of a lot of money to be made by controlling it!

Life is only therapy, real expensive and no guarantees.

Fat is only ugly to those who hate.

Federal Pacific Panels & Breakers have known fire hazards!
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Old 09-01-2009, 06:29 PM   #4
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Default

Holy crap it's my feet!!
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Old 09-01-2009, 08:08 PM   #5
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Default

It's so easy to get in and out of my new Miata, and there's so much room in there....

My folding camp chair? Oh, I just picked it up at Wal-mart, they have them to suit my size...

Beach volleyball? Sure, I'm up for it...especially since the other guys are all my size!

You don't stock this shirt in any sizes below 3XL? That's great, one for us!
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Old 09-01-2009, 08:56 PM   #6
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"What's that doc? It comes as no shock that a fat guy with healthy diet and/or excersize is healthy? Well of course!"
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Old 09-01-2009, 10:32 PM   #7
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Default

I have a hot date with Rabbit tonight!

Hahahah...er...I mean...er....
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Old 09-02-2009, 03:36 AM   #8
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Default

"The name is Bond, James Bond"
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i am the original pygmy hippo :D
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Old 09-02-2009, 05:18 AM   #9
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by rabbitislove View Post
I have a hot date with Rabbit tonight!

Hahahah...er...I mean...er....
You're right, that is something most of us would like to be able to say You're good at this game!
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Old 09-02-2009, 09:45 AM   #10
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by skinny_fatman View Post
"The name is Bond, James Bond"
Absolutely!!
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Old 09-02-2009, 10:04 AM   #11
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I have a hot date tonight with a rabbit!
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Old 09-02-2009, 10:55 AM   #12
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Default

Wait, why are you not able to say you're going to take your shirt off at the beach?

I hate when people keep their shirt on. Being shirtless is part of the experience.
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Old 09-02-2009, 03:06 PM   #13
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninja Glutton View Post
Wait, why are you not able to say you're going to take your shirt off at the beach?

I hate when people keep their shirt on. Being shirtless is part of the experience.
I take my shirt off at the beach. I just know that there are alot of guys (and girls) who cover up because of insecurity.
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Old 09-02-2009, 09:11 PM   #14
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninja Glutton View Post
Wait, why are you not able to say you're going to take your shirt off at the beach?

I hate when people keep their shirt on. Being shirtless is part of the experience.
When I was a kid my mom used to make me and my brother wear t-shirts swimming. It wasn't because we were chubby (I was, my brother wasn't) it was to keep us from sunburning. It was a habit that stuck with me a long time and didn't have anything to do with being fat. Nowadays I guess there are a lot of good sunscreens, but I reckon she saved me from a lot of sunburns back then.
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Old 09-02-2009, 10:11 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rabbitislove View Post
I have a hot date with Rabbit tonight!

Hahahah...er...I mean...er....
Mmmm yes, and not the buzzing kind!
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Old 09-02-2009, 11:00 PM   #16
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Where I come from, wearing a shirt at the beach, no matter your size, is broadcasting I AM A TOURIST! Fat local men always go topless.
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Old 09-03-2009, 09:36 AM   #17
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SanDiega View Post
Where I come from, wearing a shirt at the beach, no matter your size, is broadcasting I AM A TOURIST! Fat local men always go topless.
Wow, that sounds great!

In the spirit of this column, here's some more contributions:

"Offensive line? No, I'm a running back...."

"This suit? Yeah, I love it too, it's a Canaletti, straight from the runways in Milan..."
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Old 09-03-2009, 11:51 AM   #18
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"I love that these pants sit comfortably when I'm sitting, but don't fall down when I stand up, even without having to adjust my belt!"
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Old 09-03-2009, 06:08 PM   #19
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Quote:
"Offensive line? No, I'm a running back...."
I agree!

"What's that I can ride any ride in this theme park? "
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Old 09-03-2009, 08:05 PM   #20
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You're all you can eat smorgasboard is only 2.99?

These damn porn stars won't stop hitting on me.

You want me to pair with Brad Pitt in your new action movie and I get top billing?

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Old 09-03-2009, 09:31 PM   #21
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Default Suspenders!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tad View Post
"I love that these pants sit comfortably when I'm sitting, but don't fall down when I stand up, even without having to adjust my belt!"
Aaaah, yes, Tad, I remember my pre-suspenders days well!
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Not pious, just saved by grace. Your true Christianity
shows in how you treat those who hate you.

You got to lose to know how to win.(Aerosmith-Dream On)

Fat is like grass, it'll never go away and there's a hell
of a lot of money to be made by controlling it!

Life is only therapy, real expensive and no guarantees.

Fat is only ugly to those who hate.

Federal Pacific Panels & Breakers have known fire hazards!
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Old 09-04-2009, 10:22 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rabbitislove View Post
I have a hot date with Rabbit tonight!

Hahahah...er...I mean...er....
You are a mind reader!
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Old 09-06-2009, 06:34 PM   #23
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"yes i'd like fries with that"

"sir this is a hardware store"
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Old 09-06-2009, 08:49 PM   #24
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SanDiega View Post
Where I come from, wearing a shirt at the beach, no matter your size, is broadcasting I AM A TOURIST! Fat local men always go topless.
I knew I was doing something wrong going to the beach with a garish Hawaiian shirt, floppy straw hat and a expensive camera hanging from my neck. No wonder the babes don't give me a second look.
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Old 09-10-2009, 09:41 AM   #25
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by desertcheeseman View Post
I knew I was doing something wrong going to the beach with a garish Hawaiian shirt, floppy straw hat and a expensive camera hanging from my neck. No wonder the babes don't give me a second look.

Yeah, save the Hawaiian shirt for the restaurants, but the hat and camera are okay on the beach...

And, since I was on a university campus earlier this week, a contribution for the main column here....

"My new roomies are ALL my size...."

"The dorms come with queen-sized beds!"

"Yeah, the freshman 50 is pretty standard around here..."
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