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Old 05-20-2017, 04:15 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by rabbitislove View Post
It's not my business to place moral judgement...

Rodoji and happilymarried have made an excellent point that your current attitude and criticisms are the same way others outside of Dims regard preferences for fat lovers, as well as feederism and gaining...

With any fetish, mutual respect and communication are key...

Any fetish can go south with an uncaring or abusive partner...
Then don't condemn racism or slavery. Some people say those are ok. Who are you to say not? See where your preening tolerance leads?

I am surely safer in a room with a fatty who likes to eat than with a sadist who orgasms over the suffering of others.

"Mutual respect"? Between a master and a slave???

The dominant one in Bondage/discipline sex is, by definition, uncaring & abusive. For them that's the point!
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Old 05-20-2017, 04:17 AM   #27
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Told them you get pooped on for fun? Imagine what they say about you once you've left the room.


That I've taken a few golden showers. I've only been pooped on when anal sex got a little messy, though the distinction is unimportant. And imagining what they say when I'm gone...knowing the people with whom I've had these conversations it's probably something like, "that's the most deviant thing he's done? He needs to get out and live a little!"

Anyway this link is not necessarily a part of BDSM; I brought it up to express the concept of consent. You object to BDSM but ignore the consent factor. Furthermore you simply dismiss as "no equivalent" the fact that your own interest (weight gain) is considered grotesque by many. It's just a matter of what makes you tick. You like gaining, someone else likes being restrained or in my case peed on. Your inability to address this equivalency is really making you look silly and completely undermines your objections to BDSM.
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Old 05-20-2017, 04:31 AM   #28
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Then don't condemn racism or slavery. Some people say those are ok. Who are you to say not? See where your preening tolerance leads?
Quite the intellectual jump. That deserves an eye roll:



That deserves several in fact:



Do you not understand what we mean when we introduce the concept of "consent?" Do you understand what consent is? I don't mean to insult your intelligence but when you compare a practice that is rooted in consent to slavery/racism, two atrocities completely void of consent, it's a fair question.
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Old 05-20-2017, 04:36 AM   #29
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Submission is not consent. It's surrender.

Like a house slave.
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Old 05-20-2017, 04:54 AM   #30
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Submission is not consent. It's surrender.

Like a house slave.
Submission is by definition always voluntary. Now there are ways to entice submission. Big scale: the U.S. dropped two atomic bombs on Japan to entice them to surrender. I recently started doing judo and as the new guy often find I'm the one tapping out because my opponent offers me an incentive to submit (ie: arm bar, choke, etc.) In those examples the incentive to submit is to avoid further pain. In something like BDSM it's the pleasure and excitement derived by letting someone else have control of you. If it's not your thing, fine. It's completely unnecessary to judge those who enjoy it and really a non-starter to compare BDSM to racism/slavery.

I'm going to bring it up again because your lack of consistency is worth mentioning over and over again until you address it. Many people would consider your kink of intentional weight gain (complete with a photo album of your progress) to be grotesque and irresponsible. How would you address them?
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Old 05-20-2017, 05:19 AM   #31
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Easy. I like to eat. It makes me and so many others fat. A natural function.

You like to torture. A received evil.

No equivalence.
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Old 05-20-2017, 05:22 AM   #32
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Easy. I like to eat. It makes me and so many others fat. A natural function.

You like to torture. A received evil.

No equivalence.
I can see you put a lot of thought into that answer.
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Old 05-20-2017, 06:09 AM   #33
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I can see you put a lot of thought into that answer.
Yes. So what.
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Old 05-20-2017, 06:20 AM   #34
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FF, I think you are vigorously assaulting a windmill here, no matter how many people point out that it is not actually an evil giant.

Are there abusive relationships? Certainly. Might some of those mask themselves as sub/dom situations? Almost certainly. Perhaps you have been privy to one, and seen the damage that can be done?

This isn't at all my thing, and I worry that some people who advertise themselves as dominants may in fact be abusers in waiting -- much as I worry about some who advertise themselves as feeders for the same reason.

But pain is not always bad, power transfers are a part of life and relationships in various forms and degrees, pushing limits can be growth, and doing things under formal agreement with clear consent and checks and discussion is almost always better than letting things informally bleed into your life.

Such things may not be for you, but there are people who have safe, loving, caring, strong relationships who very much enjoy having this as part of that relationship. Telling them that somehow you know more about their life and relationship than they do is condescending, patronizing, and rude.

If you wish to continue the discussion, perhaps explain where your beliefs on this are coming from, rather than just repeating the same dogma over and over. After all, this isn't The Soap Box, so the expectation of actual discussion is a lot higher.
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Old 05-20-2017, 06:49 AM   #35
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Wow this thread is going off the rails.
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Old 05-20-2017, 07:17 AM   #36
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Wow this thread is going off the rails.
Maybe we should try to get it back on track. I never did answer OP's question.

No, my wife and I are not into BDSM, but there is definitely a dom-sub dynamic in our relationship. It really emerged a few years ago under a combination of circumstances. I've always had sub tendencies and my wife became friends with someone who picked up on that and started coaching my wife to be more dominant and assertive. Again, it's not a BDSM sort of dominant so much as an every day routine dominance. She's in charge. She's a fun and playful dom, and thoroughly owns me. I clear just about everything I do outside of work with her, and if she says no I don't do it.

I could go into further detail but since it's not BDSM it's a little off topic. I'm happy to share more (and have done so) on other threads here on Dims.
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Old 05-20-2017, 08:59 AM   #37
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My girlfriend is really into it, me not so much. However seeing how much is turns her on is really hot. I never thought I would have a girlfriend moan "choke me harder" right before climaxing. I would much rather try to fulfill her fantasy than have her just think about it during vanilla sex. It's only fair.
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Old 05-20-2017, 11:25 AM   #38
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Fuelingfire just don't leave bruises on her throat or you might end up in jail if she gets mad at you over something.
I wouldn't trust any woman that says whip me harder or choke me harder during sex LOL
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Old 05-20-2017, 12:51 PM   #39
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That deviant behavior is as much "play" for the captive governed one as abortion is "choice" for the baby.

You do something for which dressing like, and acting like, a Nazi is the norm.

Study Nazi sex for enlightenment? Bully someone until I come?

Masturbate in private. For the sake of the others.
I believe that you're trying to cause a fight, try to get some of us to say something that would be deemed against TOS. So, you're on ignore.
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Old 05-20-2017, 10:09 PM   #40
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This is slightly off topic but I feel it deals with the defining of absolute good/evil, whole/perverse thing thats been going on here.
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Old 05-21-2017, 03:29 AM   #41
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When "play" includes dressing as a Nazi...
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Old 05-21-2017, 04:46 AM   #42
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When "play" includes dressing as a Nazi...
Many elements of BDSM go way further back than the Nazis, but since you keep bringing them up...

Every time you drive on an interstate highway in the United States you are engaging in activity reminiscent of the Nazis. Hitler developed the Autobahn in WWII in order to have a fast and efficient way to move troops and equipment from one front to another as needed. General Eisenhower was inspired by the efficiency of this system and brought this vision to the U.S. when he became president. Based on the Nazi's Autobahn, the U.S. started building the interstate highway system in the 1950s.

Of course you are probably going to just say "no equivalent" or claim to never drive on the interstate. As inconsistent as you have shown yourself to be I don't expect this highlighting of your hypocrisy to resonate, but it's still worth pointing out, agree?
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Old 05-21-2017, 05:08 AM   #43
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Fuelingfire just don't leave bruises on her throat or you might end up in jail if she gets mad at you over something.
I wouldn't trust any woman that says whip me harder or choke me harder during sex LOL
Lol. No kidding. One would need a lot of trust.
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Old 05-21-2017, 06:48 AM   #44
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Lol. No kidding. One would need a lot of trust.
There is. For proper framing, I weightlift and we have had many discussions about it, I stay on the weaker side grip strength, as not actually hurting her especially in hyoid and carotid artery area. I need her to tell me how hard, both for what she wants and for her safety.

I love that I can help her fulfill her fantasies. Discussing what both of us really want is an amazing part of our relationship. She is probably the most body/size positive person I have ever met, in real life. She has returned the favor by doing things and being completely cool about it, that my past relationships would make me feel like a deviant for just talking about.

I look at it like I am doing what makes my partner happy, because I like having a happy partner.
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Old 05-21-2017, 11:44 AM   #45
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There is. For proper framing, I weightlift and we have had many discussions about it, I stay on the weaker side grip strength, as not actually hurting her especially in hyoid and carotid artery area. I need her to tell me how hard, both for what she wants and for her safety.

I love that I can help her fulfill her fantasies. Discussing what both of us really want is an amazing part of our relationship. She is probably the most body/size positive person I have ever met, in real life. She has returned the favor by doing things and being completely cool about it, that my past relationships would make me feel like a deviant for just talking about.

I look at it like I am doing what makes my partner happy, because I like having a happy partner.
Trust is always an element needed, whether the play includes asphyxia or light spanking. Without it, how can you be with someone?
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