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Old 05-19-2017, 05:22 AM   #1
roddles
 
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Default Controversial discussion update

In a controversial discssion some time ago, I posted about my perusal of an exes sister. The relationship is going well in fact, I am happy to say. I want to post this to help other closet FAs. So I did the unthinkable, married a "skinny" woman, but had had a crush on an exes sister for a long time. Skipping to the point, she was very fat, and sexy, funny fun outgoing, etc. my ex wasn't, nor was my wife. After trying for years to get over my crush I just couldn't, and things were going really sour with the wife. I left her, and soon started seeing said sister again, this time determined not to let my closeting fears of reflection to get in the way, not to mention the stigma or guilt of dating an exes sister we still managed to pursue a relationship being head over heals for each other. She is the girl of my dreams. She was initially shy about her body and didn't want me to see her naked. But knowing how much it turns me on I am starting to think it turns her on when I talk about her belly, she asks me to jiggle it during sex, wears tight clothing for me, she also talks a lot about overeating like when we go to a restaurant making jokes about becoming huge and me having to roll her home! This has been very unexpected, but I am not complaining. We have the same humour, interests, we talk about getting married and starting a family. We have also crossed some huge milestones, and surprisingly people seem ok with it? Her sister didn't flip out like we expected, her Mum and dad have been supportive and my mother and sister have even met her. Maybe it's not even a big deal about the sister thing or else just a really open minded family? Also people haven't batted an eyelid about her size, my mum has said she is a nice girl and we look happy. And yes she knows about the sister thing too! I am so happy people are taking this well, but just wondering has anyone else expected severe tepicussions about their sexuality or relationships, only to be welcomed with open arms? Is being an FA no big deal for people anymore? and if this helps other people to see how they imagine coming out, in your head it seems so bad but in reality it maybe not anywhere near as bad.

Sorry if this is placed in the wrong board, and people please be nice!
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Old 05-19-2017, 08:51 AM   #2
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I'm glad things seem to be turning out so well for you and your new love. You just had to let go and follow your bliss and be true to yourself. Trying to live the life anyone else thinks you should live is doomed to failure. Life is too short to try and force a relationship to work when it's obvious to both that it just isn't working (like with your previous attempts).

I'm lucky in that I've been a lifelong FA, starting when a little chubette caught my attention in first grade. (And in second grade I learned a new word: diabetes, when she returned after a half year absence at average weight.) I've never been with an average size female, just various scales of BBW. And while I did receive comments from a few people about a couple of former GFs, they didn't affect me. I've just always had a strong attitude about my preferences and how I lived my life.

All the tales of anguish over their preferences that I've read from other FAs were puzzling to me. I've just never been able to relate. I've wondered if it was because I didn't really have dominating family members and friends who'd harangued me into submission over the years like it seemed these other FAs did. I was taught to say what I meant and mean what I said, and to take responsibility for my actions. That's an antiseptic to the influence of peer pressure and a guide to better behavior.

Last edited by HereticFA; 05-19-2017 at 09:09 AM. Reason: Add thoughts.
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Old 05-19-2017, 09:03 PM   #3
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Thank you. You are lucky you never faced the anguish it appears many have, you must have a supportive and non judgmental group around you including family. I don't have friends that aren't supportive or open minded, but my family are all very judgmental. I think this is where the fear came from and like the old saying you can choose your friends but not your family. It has only taken me about 15 years to figure all this out!
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Old 05-20-2017, 05:07 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by roddles View Post
Thank you. You are lucky you never faced the anguish it appears many have, you must have a supportive and non judgmental group around you including family. I don't have friends that aren't supportive or open minded, but my family are all very judgmental. I think this is where the fear came from and like the old saying you can choose your friends but not your family. It has only taken me about 15 years to figure all this out!
Please keep in mind that your children are also their family. They will consider them in all decisions now.
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Old 05-22-2017, 07:29 PM   #5
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I understand your concerns, green eyed fairy, but she has met the children and they and she get along great. It's not all about sex, that is just a bonus being I am such a sexual person. My children are the top priority and I am a better father now than I was with their mother because back then I was such an angry person, a person who I didn't want to be.
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Old 05-22-2017, 07:40 PM   #6
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I can certainly understand the part about not being angry anymore and being a better parent. I do relate - glad that part is behind you
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