How Does it Feel to be Fat

Dravenhawk · 10-25-2007, 08:14 PM

I am asking this question to gather some ballanced prespective about what it feels like to be fat. Being a skinny guy there is alot I take for granted. Having spent some considerable time with BBWs of a variety of sizes, I have observed most of the ladies of size I have encountered wishing they were thin. It wasn't until I stumbled upon Dimensions that I discovered there was a whole other side to being heavy.
As an FA I have some insights on how people of size fit in a world that is too small. On one side I have the ideal view. Size conveying sexual power, the thrill of the floor shaking under a heavy persons footsteps of the chair groaning in protest of the weight load placed upon it. Every big person I have met except for two, try to hide from thier size trying not to get noticed. How do you feel when you shake the floor under your footsteps? How does it feel when something breaks under your weight? How does it feel to be two, three, maybe even four times your partners size / weight? I have heard alot about how bad being big makes one feel. I am interested in what about being big makes you feel good about yourself as well.

Dravenhawk

bexy · 10-26-2007, 05:04 PM

well how it feels to me is sensual, soft, warm, comforting, sexy, i feel as if i stand out, i feel womanly, i feel proud, and i feel like the me i truly am, rather than the me i would be if i tried to lose weight...

ripley · 10-26-2007, 07:39 PM

I like to say "Godzilla!!!!" as I thunder about the floor, and watch the wicker furniture tremble in fear.

Adrian · 10-26-2007, 08:18 PM

I like Dravenhawk, enjoy being an FA, about two hundred and fifth-teen pounds (6'-½"). I have been open about preferring BBWs, since kindergarden. I also grew up underweight (155 lbs) at this height. I was tired having trouble being cold, negative buoyancy, being to light in playing my favorite sport -flag football, etc. So in the summer of 1974, I intentionally worked to gain weight up to 185 pounds. The problems I had being skinny went away. Blind side blocks in football sent the other guy sprawled out on the ground, problems with cold went away and, so did my negative buoyancy. The biggest surprise was the way other people re-acted to my "command presence!" With a greater tolerance to cold, I was able to take up cross country skiing and snowcamping!
As my weight has gone from 155 to 252 pounds, what I have noticed is different types of women found me attractive at different weights!
I didn't notice that mainly BBWs found me attractive when I was skinny. Average size women found me attractive when I weighed 185 to 205. When my weight went from 212 to 252 pounds (gaining weight due to medications), I found very petite (short as well as skinny) tended to be attractive to me.
Overall, the weight range I am happiest with is 205 to 215 pounds.

Adrian

Smushygirl · 10-26-2007, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ripley

I like to say "Godzilla!!!!" as I thunder about the floor, and watch the wicker furniture tremble in fear.

I especially love when you breathe fire! You are sooo hawt!!!!

mossystate · 10-26-2007, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Smushygirl

I especially love when you breathe fire! You are sooo hawt!!!!

I just wish the fire came out of her mouth..other than that..oh yeah..fee-fi-fo-fum!

imfree · 10-26-2007, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ripley

I like to say "Godzilla!!!!" as I thunder about the floor, and watch the wicker furniture tremble in fear.

Hahaha!!!, Ripley, I know EXACTLY where you're coming from. I do have to be
careful with floors and furniture, but at times, I really get off on knowing that
I'm actually strong enough to move this 430 lb body around!

Jes · 10-26-2007, 09:13 PM

It's an interesting question--my time at Dims has shown me that there's a continuum of how people interact with their own fatness. Some of us don't care for it. Some of us want to lose it. Some of us are ok with it. Some of us revel in it. Some of us want to get more of it. Some of us want to get fat but won't let ourselves. Some of us fantasize about all things fat and live the dream. Some of us fantasize about all things fat and don't let ourselves live the dream--perhaps sometimes just b/c fantasy is more powerful than reality and there's something 'taboo' about being transgressive, and people often really enjoy hiding taboo things. Thinking about something being naughty is hotter than thinking of it being mundane.

So to ignore categories 1-3 above, and just look at the rest (except for the non-fatties there at the end!), I wonder how many people who are just fat, maybe grew up fat or ...don't feel fat is a choice per se (difficult to word this skillfully--but I'm thinking of people who aren't gainers, and who aren't so into the talking about or thinking about being fat) but are just plain fat, even think much about the things the OP listed, except in the ways that they might be limitations (things to be aware of in a new space, for example).

Personally, I like my body, but I can't ever imagine me saying: I like my fat. Not b/c fat is bad or wrong, but because ...fat modifies body in that sentence. The fat doesn't exist on its own. And I do feel a lot of people tell me that means I hate myself or I don't find myself sexy, or I don't think fat is sexy, or a whole bunch of stuff I haven't said. Numbers-wise, what's the breakdown of women who think like I do, more or less, or women who find fat, their own fat...well, akin to something the OP suggested. Do you like your hips b/c they're your hips and you were born with them and you've been with them your whole life and they're great at salsa dancing, and you like the way they look, etc, etc, or do you like that they're fat? For me, I can't separate those things at all. My fat ass is the only ass I've ever known. I wasn't thin last year and on a gaining path, so my ass is just my ass, in my mind. I suppose other people feel differently. Do newly-fat people or *FAs* (either sex) have more of a classification system for these feelings than the average fat person, do you think?

Fascinita · 10-26-2007, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jes

My fat ass is the only ass I've ever known. I wasn't thin last year and on a gaining path, so my ass is just my ass, in my mind. I suppose other people feel differently.

Yeah, it's hard to know how it feels to be fat, since I don't know what it feels like to be skinny (it's been a long time since I was thin). To me, this is just how my body is. What does that feel like? Mmm... What does it feel like to be thin? Maybe if you could start there it might provide a reference frame to compare against fat. I don't know.

Aurora · 10-26-2007, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jes

It's an interesting question--my time at Dims has shown me that there's a continuum of how people interact with their own fatness. Some of us don't care for it. Some of us want to lose it. Some of us are ok with it. Some of us revel in it. Some of us want to get more of it. Some of us want to get fat but won't let ourselves. Some of us fantasize about all things fat and live the dream. Some of us fantasize about all things fat and don't let ourselves live the dream--perhaps sometimes just b/c fantasy is more powerful than reality and there's something 'taboo' about being transgressive, and people often really enjoy hiding taboo things. Thinking about something being naughty is hotter than thinking of it being mundane.

So to ignore categories 1-3 above, and just look at the rest (except for the non-fatties there at the end!), I wonder how many people who are just fat, maybe grew up fat or ...don't feel fat is a choice per se (difficult to word this skillfully--but I'm thinking of people who aren't gainers, and who aren't so into the talking about or thinking about being fat) but are just plain fat, even think much about the things the OP listed, except in the ways that they might be limitations (things to be aware of in a new space, for example).

Personally, I like my body, but I can't ever imagine me saying: I like my fat. Not b/c fat is bad or wrong, but because ...fat modifies body in that sentence. The fat doesn't exist on its own. And I do feel a lot of people tell me that means I hate myself or I don't find myself sexy, or I don't think fat is sexy, or a whole bunch of stuff I haven't said. Numbers-wise, what's the breakdown of women who think like I do, more or less, or women who find fat, their own fat...well, akin to something the OP suggested. Do you like your hips b/c they're your hips and you were born with them and you've been with them your whole life and they're great at salsa dancing, and you like the way they look, etc, etc, or do you like that they're fat? For me, I can't separate those things at all. My fat ass is the only ass I've ever known. I wasn't thin last year and on a gaining path, so my ass is just my ass, in my mind. I suppose other people feel differently. Do newly-fat people or *FAs* (either sex) have more of a classification system for these feelings than the average fat person, do you think?

Extremely thought provoking Jes, thank you. I never thought of it that way.

For me, being someone who gains weight for pleasure (and have since age 9, even before I knew sexuality was tied to it), I've got a skewed view. I would not be happy with myself were I thin. In fact I believe my entire personality would change and I don't want that to happen. I wouldn't be who I am now, and I really like who I am now.

But that's not exactly answering the question, is it? I do truly love being fat. I love the way my belly jiggles. I love the way my hips sway as I walk. I love finding that I'm too big to go on some rides. I get thrilled when my belly presses against the table in a small desk or tight restaurant booth. I enjoy outgrowing clothing and feel it strain against my plush curves.

Of course there are some cons. Not being able to keep up in groups of friends walking any distance is one of my annoyances with myself, but I think if I exercised a little more in general that might not be as big a deal. However the pros FAR outweigh the cons for me. And I'm happy this way.

Happiness means the most to me out of anything.

~Aurora

imfree · 10-26-2007, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora

Extremely thought provoking Jes, thank you. I never thought of it that way.

For me, being someone who gains weight for pleasure (and have since age 9, even before I knew sexuality was tied to it), I've got a skewed view. I would not be happy with myself were I thin. In fact I believe my entire personality would change and I don't want that to happen. I wouldn't be who I am now, and I really like who I am now.

But that's not exactly answering the question, is it? I do truly love being fat. I love the way my belly jiggles. I love the way my hips sway as I walk. I love finding that I'm too big to go on some rides. I get thrilled when my belly presses against the table in a small desk or tight restaurant booth. I enjoy outgrowing clothing and feel it strain against my plush curves.

Of course there are some cons. Not being able to keep up in groups of friends walking any distance is one of my annoyances with myself, but I think if I exercised a little more in general that might not be as big a deal. However the pros FAR outweigh the cons for me. And I'm happy this way.

Happiness means the most to me out of anything.

~Aurora

Wow, Aurora!, were like-minded and you know about yourself at a young age
what I didn't fully realize about myself until I was in my 40's!

Reality Check: Yep Guys, I'm 52 and I know I'm dangerously pushing
the limits. Don't try this at home.

Fascinita · 10-26-2007, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurora

I've got a skewed view. I would not be happy with myself were I thin. ...I love the way my belly jiggles. I love the way my hips sway as I walk. I love finding that I'm too big to go on some rides. I get thrilled when my belly presses against the table in a small desk or tight restaurant booth. I enjoy outgrowing clothing and feel it strain against my plush curves

I don't think it's skewed. Lots of people like being fat and would not be happy being thin.

The list of what you like about being fat is, with the exception of "finding out I'm too big to go on some rides," (though I bet some people are told they are too small for certain rides) not exclusively experiences of "fat" people. Some people who are not regarded as particularly fat have jiggly bellies. Women who are not regarded as particularly fat have hips that sway when they walk. People's bellies press up against tables and desks all the time. People, whether fat or thin, outgrow clothing (though I'm not sure that many people think of themselves in terms of "plush curves"--for example I, a "plushly curved" fattie, don't think of myself in those terms, it seems sort of a fabricated euphemism for good old fat, and reminiscent of furniture upholstery).

So I'm curious about why you experience these as particularly "fat" experiences. Is it the feeling of taking up more room in the world than others? Is it relative to other people's bodies? Or is it purely an experience of your own senses? I'm curious.

Best,

Fascinita

William · 10-27-2007, 01:28 AM

Hi

I know how you feel, I have always been fat, as a 10.5 baby there are pictures of me with fat rolls in diapers

I am OK with my body and any displeasures is 100% about society's views on fat.

William

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fascinita

Yeah, it's hard to know how it feels to be fat, since I don't know what it feels like to be skinny (it's been a long time since I was thin). To me, this is just how my body is. What does that feel like? Mmm... What does it feel like to be thin? Maybe if you could start there it might provide a reference frame to compare against fat. I don't know.

kr7 · 10-27-2007, 08:57 AM

I suppose that I am in a position to compare how it feels to be fat, to how it feels to be thin, since I have been both. Nevertheless, it is a question that is difficult to answer, because there is so many levels on which it could be answered.

Physically (for me at least), it was vastly more comfortable to be thin. There was a lot less aches and pains, etc. I also felt more graceful, mostly because it was less painful for me to move around. This is not to say that I am immobile, but I certainly feel that there are some activities I can't do these days.

Logistically, it was WAY easier to be thin. All the little everyday things were simply easier. For example, buying clothes now is a huge adventure. It's so hard to find stuff that fits, that it can take weeks or even months to find an item I need. Maneuvering into my desk at school can sometimes be very interesting. There are actually a few classrooms in an older building where I simply don't fit into the desks at all. And so on, and so forth.

Emotionally, I was never particularly mindful of my (or anyone else's) appearance. I mean, I appreciate good personal hygiene and neatness, but I've always been vastly more interested in personalities and minds. So really, I feel pretty ambiguous about my body now, as I did when I was skinny, and strangely enough, it doesn't really *feel* different to me.

Having said that, others plainly differ on this point with me. I have always been treated vastly better as a skinny chick, than as a fat chick. This does bother me quite a bit. It's not that I need the adulation of others in order to be somehow validated, but realistically speaking, the opinion of others does affect what happens to us in the course of our lives, whether we like it or not. I might know that my beliefs and IQ level haven't change, but unfortunately, that is not necessarily how my teachers/boss/doctor/etc. treats me. Needless to say, this can have a hugely negative impact on my life.

Chris

Aurora · 10-27-2007, 09:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fascinita

I don't think it's skewed. Lots of people like being fat and would not be happy being thin.

The list of what you like about being fat is, with the exception of "finding out I'm too big to go on some rides," (though I bet some people are told they are too small for certain rides) not exclusively experiences of "fat" people. Some people who are not regarded as particularly fat have jiggly bellies. Women who are not regarded as particularly fat have hips that sway when they walk. People's bellies press up against tables and desks all the time. People, whether fat or thin, outgrow clothing (though I'm not sure that many people think of themselves in terms of "plush curves"--for example I, a "plushly curved" fattie, don't think of myself in those terms, it seems sort of a fabricated euphemism for good old fat, and reminiscent of furniture upholstery).

So I'm curious about why you experience these as particularly "fat" experiences. Is it the feeling of taking up more room in the world than others? Is it relative to other people's bodies? Or is it purely an experience of your own senses? I'm curious.

Best,

Fascinita

Well, looking around the classroom in my social psychology class I'm one of maybe three people total with a belly pressed up against the table in my desk, and I'm far more crammed than anyone else.

I guess what I meant was in comparison to most of the population. I'm 370 pounds, and tall. I have a strong presence when I enter a room simply due to my size and I like that. I'm not one to shy into a corner - I'm gonna be the life of the party!

As far as "euphemisms" are concerned, I have no problem with the word fat. I frequently use it to describe myself. However it's also a word with a wide (no pun intended) variety of wonderful synonyms and I like to make use of those as well.

Why limit myself?

So in answer to your questions, I guess I'd have to say "all of the above." I like that I take up more room than the average Joe or Jane, it is relative to the size of other people (along side that, when I'm around people bigger than I am it's awe-inspiring), and it is an experience of my own senses. In early high school I was 250 pounds and thought I was quite fat. I've come a long way and I've enjoyed the journey.

~Aurora

Jes · 10-27-2007, 09:45 AM

See, you're the sort of person that my response was trying to connect with. I have no doubt that there are a lot of people like you--actively choosing fat b/c you like things about it, and you feel it makes you, or helps you be all of the things you mentioned. Personally, I have a big mouth and I think, even at 150 lbs., I'd walk into a room and own it (if only b/c I wouldn't let anyone else be a competitor, haha). So for me, it's not my fat--and I'm a hair under 5 ft 4, so while i'm fat, I've never quite felt 'big' somehow, but that's all subjective, I know.

And I wonder if, for those people who are very excited, or comforted or whatever'd by large people who specifically like their fat, they really will only be happy with, or they'll make the best match with, someone who thinks that way too. I know that so many times, I've had guys want me to talk about how much I like my fat, and I just can't even use language that way b/c it just doesn't ...I dont' think of it that way. It's like me saying: what do you love about having brown hair? Someone might like his/her hair, and even like that it's brown, but it doesn't have a separate life. It's not a wig.

And if that's major to me, if I need to hear osmeone go on and on about how having brown hair makes him masculine, it makes him powerful, it makes him smart, it makes him imposing, then I'd best find a partner who thinks all of that stuff, and not just a dude who says: Hmmn, never really thought about it--i do like my brown hair, is that enough? ...no?

If I end up with that guy, I'm never really going to be satisfied. So we're down even furtther on the fat subclass ladder now.

kr7 · 10-27-2007, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jes

........I know that so many times, I've had guys want me to talk about how much I like my fat, and I just can't even use language that way b/c it just doesn't ...I dont' think of it that way. It's like me saying: what do you love about having brown hair?.......

Yup! That is a great point. You could liken this situation to one where the girl wants her guy to get excited about the latest bargains she found while clothes shopping, or worse to get in on the actual action.

Most guys don't mind clothes as such, but don't really think and obsess about them day and night.

Chris

Aurora · 10-27-2007, 12:14 PM

Jes - You have super awesome points.

I think you're far from alone in your view as well. In fact I think it's becoming more prevelant in society to be fat and (I don't want to say not care, but...) just accept it that way. I can understand how awkward a relationship would be with a firm fat admirer who wants to hear you say how much you love it when it really doesn't hold those connotations.

Honestly, I can relate to that being on the other end. My ex boyfriend was a really big guy, but he didn't like his size. I was all over him about how much I did like his size and emphasized that in our relationship, and while he was less adament about losing weight there still wasn't that love for it that I wanted him to have. He just didn't care. However he didn't care about mine either, and from that stemmed my common saying that there's a big difference between someone who doesn't care what you look like and someone who absolutely loves it. Though to say that applies only to fat would be wrong. Ultimately to be happy I believe it's best to find someone who will love you at any weight. Of course attraction level might change, and I don't think I'd be shallow to say that I wouldn't be quite as attracted to my current boyfriend's body if he lost 50 pounds. I'm sure he feels the same about me. It doesn't mean I'd love him any less.

I went off on a tangent there. But this is a topic I'm really interested in. Thanks for elaborating.

~Aurora

Jes · 10-27-2007, 12:54 PM

Really good point--I wonder how similar the 'c'mon, tell me how much you like stressing the bed frame' comments, to someone who just isn't so much turned on by or tuned in to fat that way, are to the 'no, don't tell me I'm sexy, I don't like being fat, don't look at me when I'm naked' comments are to someone who wants to be open about their love of a fat partner's body.

Probably very similar, and a big problem for a lot of couples or potential couples.

Jon Blaze · 10-28-2007, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jes

Really good point--I wonder how similar the 'c'mon, tell me how much you like stressing the bed frame' comments, to someone who just isn't so much turned on by or tuned in to fat that way, are to the 'no, don't tell me I'm sexy, I don't like being fat, don't look at me when I'm naked' comments are to someone who wants to be open about their love of a fat partner's body.

Probably very similar, and a big problem for a lot of couples or potential couples.

Good point from you as well.

I think it's really hard to find that balance, and that's why I think it is important that people strive to be somewhere in the middle with all these traits. Like not be dependent on them for relationships to the point that it becomes the sole thing within them, but not be so distant that it seems as if you're turned off by these traits.

JimP · 10-28-2007, 06:46 PM

As a skinny person I'd say the most annoying part is to be careful to not lose weight as I'm sure to lose muscle mass if it happens.
On the other hand despite my interest for the curvy women I can't imagine myself with a high BMI.

Jes · 10-29-2007, 05:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jon Blaze

Good point from you as well.

I think it's really hard to find that balance, and that's why I think it is important that people strive to be somewhere in the middle with all these traits. Like not be dependent on them for relationships to the point that it becomes the sole thing within them, but not be so distant that it seems as if you're turned off by these traits.

i don't know, jon. It's my right to think of my fat body as I choose to think of it. What do you define as distant? I know that every time a man has asked me his standard 'fat questions' he's been disappointed with my answer. Every time. And I like my body! I love sex! I've let myself be photographed naked for the internet, in a place all about the beauty of the fat female body. I'm a heavy (!) poster at Dimensions, a site for size acceptance. I do not hate myself and I do not hate fat. I don't know how much clearer I can be about that. So is that 'distant,' as you describe it? Why is it my job to indulge some man on the internet that I don't know, that doesn't want to know me other than to talk about my fat? Why? Are you talking about a partner with whom I'm involved, telling me that hearing about it is his big thing, and can we do that sometimes? Sure, I can probably do that (haven't been in that situation, so I can't say 'yes' as if I have), but watch the way I live my life and the way I treat myself; there's no distance there, if you're willing to look past your own 'how many inches around is your stomach? does that turn you on?' nose.
(not you, jon. communal you).

k1009 · 10-29-2007, 07:05 AM

I'm going to be honest, at a certain weight (approximately 80kg on a 174cm frame) I really enjoyed my fat and loved the way my body distributed the weight to areas that had previously been lacking in curves. Having gained a significant amount over that 80kg, I'm finding I have a love/hate relationship with the fat that is probably not healthy mentally. I enjoy the way my body looks, but I loathe the limitations that are now placed on me. As someone who lives in a subtropical climate, in a concrete jungle of millions all relying on a joke of a public transport system, my life is very uncomfortable now that we're heading into summer. Driving is not an option as this is not a city designed for car users.

Incidentally, I'm a little under 250 now. I don't feel any sexual thrill being this size, especially when I'm red faced and sweating at 9am. Back a few months and about 30 pounds, I enjoyed it, to an extent. I liked the way it looked, as said previously, and the way it felt. I enjoyed my fat as long as the temperature didn't go over 23 degrees. I guess for me my fat love is seasonal, and as I love Australia and especially Sydney with a passion that I've never felt for any of the other countries and cities I've been in, I'm faced with the option of losing the fat I love and hate or moving out to the suburbs, living in an air conditioned house, driving an air conditioned car and generally avoiding the parts of my city that I enjoy so much.

I didn't mean this to turn into a rant about the climate, but for me, the luxury of enjoying my fat is tempered by my love for a country and a lifestyle that seems intent on frying me for half the year. Complicated, I guess.

RedVelvet · 10-29-2007, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by imfree

Hahaha!!!, Ripley, I know EXACTLY where you're coming from. I do have to be
careful with floors and furniture, but at times, I really get off on knowing that
I'm actually strong enough to move this 430 lb body around!

You need to turn your "sarcasm recognizer" up, Edgar.

imfree · 10-29-2007, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedVelvet

You need to turn your "sarcasm recognizer" up, Edgar.

Turned up and I'll be more careful.

10-25-2007, 08:14 PM	#1
Dravenhawk President of Manlandia Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Presidential Pallace of Manlandia Posts: 319	How Does it Feel to be Fat I am asking this question to gather some ballanced prespective about what it feels like to be fat. Being a skinny guy there is alot I take for granted. Having spent some considerable time with BBWs of a variety of sizes, I have observed most of the ladies of size I have encountered wishing they were thin. It wasn't until I stumbled upon Dimensions that I discovered there was a whole other side to being heavy. As an FA I have some insights on how people of size fit in a world that is too small. On one side I have the ideal view. Size conveying sexual power, the thrill of the floor shaking under a heavy persons footsteps of the chair groaning in protest of the weight load placed upon it. Every big person I have met except for two, try to hide from thier size trying not to get noticed. How do you feel when you shake the floor under your footsteps? How does it feel when something breaks under your weight? How does it feel to be two, three, maybe even four times your partners size / weight? I have heard alot about how bad being big makes one feel. I am interested in what about being big makes you feel good about yourself as well. Dravenhawk __________________ Luck is taking a chance when you have a choice. Destiny is making a choice when given a chance Will you choose your own path or will you have it chosen for you?

10-26-2007, 05:04 PM	#2
bexy is red again <3 Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 4,850	well how it feels to me is sensual, soft, warm, comforting, sexy, i feel as if i stand out, i feel womanly, i feel proud, and i feel like the me i truly am, rather than the me i would be if i tried to lose weight... __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] With loves, and hates, and passions just like mine.

10-26-2007, 07:39 PM	#3
ripley Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 2,955	I like to say "Godzilla!!!!" as I thunder about the floor, and watch the wicker furniture tremble in fear. __________________ .

10-26-2007, 08:18 PM	#4
Adrian ?? Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Silicon Valley, Calif. Posts: 1,155	RE: How Does it Feel to be Fat I like Dravenhawk, enjoy being an FA, about two hundred and fifth-teen pounds (6'-½"). I have been open about preferring BBWs, since kindergarden. I also grew up underweight (155 lbs) at this height. I was tired having trouble being cold, negative buoyancy, being to light in playing my favorite sport -flag football, etc. So in the summer of 1974, I intentionally worked to gain weight up to 185 pounds. The problems I had being skinny went away. Blind side blocks in football sent the other guy sprawled out on the ground, problems with cold went away and, so did my negative buoyancy. The biggest surprise was the way other people re-acted to my "command presence!" With a greater tolerance to cold, I was able to take up cross country skiing and snowcamping! As my weight has gone from 155 to 252 pounds, what I have noticed is different types of women found me attractive at different weights! I didn't notice that mainly BBWs found me attractive when I was skinny. Average size women found me attractive when I weighed 185 to 205. When my weight went from 212 to 252 pounds (gaining weight due to medications), I found very petite (short as well as skinny) tended to be attractive to me. Overall, the weight range I am happiest with is 205 to 215 pounds. Adrian

10-26-2007, 09:13 PM	#8
Jes is oddly aroused Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 12,553	It's an interesting question--my time at Dims has shown me that there's a continuum of how people interact with their own fatness. Some of us don't care for it. Some of us want to lose it. Some of us are ok with it. Some of us revel in it. Some of us want to get more of it. Some of us want to get fat but won't let ourselves. Some of us fantasize about all things fat and live the dream. Some of us fantasize about all things fat and don't let ourselves live the dream--perhaps sometimes just b/c fantasy is more powerful than reality and there's something 'taboo' about being transgressive, and people often really enjoy hiding taboo things. Thinking about something being naughty is hotter than thinking of it being mundane. So to ignore categories 1-3 above, and just look at the rest (except for the non-fatties there at the end!), I wonder how many people who are just fat, maybe grew up fat or ...don't feel fat is a choice per se (difficult to word this skillfully--but I'm thinking of people who aren't gainers, and who aren't so into the talking about or thinking about being fat) but are just plain fat, even think much about the things the OP listed, except in the ways that they might be limitations (things to be aware of in a new space, for example). Personally, I like my body, but I can't ever imagine me saying: I like my fat. Not b/c fat is bad or wrong, but because ...fat modifies body in that sentence. The fat doesn't exist on its own. And I do feel a lot of people tell me that means I hate myself or I don't find myself sexy, or I don't think fat is sexy, or a whole bunch of stuff I haven't said. Numbers-wise, what's the breakdown of women who think like I do, more or less, or women who find fat, their own fat...well, akin to something the OP suggested. Do you like your hips b/c they're your hips and you were born with them and you've been with them your whole life and they're great at salsa dancing, and you like the way they look, etc, etc, or do you like that they're fat? For me, I can't separate those things at all. My fat ass is the only ass I've ever known. I wasn't thin last year and on a gaining path, so my ass is just my ass, in my mind. I suppose other people feel differently. Do newly-fat people or FAs (either sex) have more of a classification system for these feelings than the average fat person, do you think?

10-27-2007, 08:57 AM	#14
kr7 Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 934	I suppose that I am in a position to compare how it feels to be fat, to how it feels to be thin, since I have been both. Nevertheless, it is a question that is difficult to answer, because there is so many levels on which it could be answered. Physically (for me at least), it was vastly more comfortable to be thin. There was a lot less aches and pains, etc. I also felt more graceful, mostly because it was less painful for me to move around. This is not to say that I am immobile, but I certainly feel that there are some activities I can't do these days. Logistically, it was WAY easier to be thin. All the little everyday things were simply easier. For example, buying clothes now is a huge adventure. It's so hard to find stuff that fits, that it can take weeks or even months to find an item I need. Maneuvering into my desk at school can sometimes be very interesting. There are actually a few classrooms in an older building where I simply don't fit into the desks at all. And so on, and so forth. Emotionally, I was never particularly mindful of my (or anyone else's) appearance. I mean, I appreciate good personal hygiene and neatness, but I've always been vastly more interested in personalities and minds. So really, I feel pretty ambiguous about my body now, as I did when I was skinny, and strangely enough, it doesn't really feel different to me. Having said that, others plainly differ on this point with me. I have always been treated vastly better as a skinny chick, than as a fat chick. This does bother me quite a bit. It's not that I need the adulation of others in order to be somehow validated, but realistically speaking, the opinion of others does affect what happens to us in the course of our lives, whether we like it or not. I might know that my beliefs and IQ level haven't change, but unfortunately, that is not necessarily how my teachers/boss/doctor/etc. treats me. Needless to say, this can have a hugely negative impact on my life. Chris

10-27-2007, 09:45 AM	#16
Jes is oddly aroused Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 12,553	See, you're the sort of person that my response was trying to connect with. I have no doubt that there are a lot of people like you--actively choosing fat b/c you like things about it, and you feel it makes you, or helps you be all of the things you mentioned. Personally, I have a big mouth and I think, even at 150 lbs., I'd walk into a room and own it (if only b/c I wouldn't let anyone else be a competitor, haha). So for me, it's not my fat--and I'm a hair under 5 ft 4, so while i'm fat, I've never quite felt 'big' somehow, but that's all subjective, I know. And I wonder if, for those people who are very excited, or comforted or whatever'd by large people who specifically like their fat, they really will only be happy with, or they'll make the best match with, someone who thinks that way too. I know that so many times, I've had guys want me to talk about how much I like my fat, and I just can't even use language that way b/c it just doesn't ...I dont' think of it that way. It's like me saying: what do you love about having brown hair? Someone might like his/her hair, and even like that it's brown, but it doesn't have a separate life. It's not a wig. And if that's major to me, if I need to hear osmeone go on and on about how having brown hair makes him masculine, it makes him powerful, it makes him smart, it makes him imposing, then I'd best find a partner who thinks all of that stuff, and not just a dude who says: Hmmn, never really thought about it--i do like my brown hair, is that enough? ...no? If I end up with that guy, I'm never really going to be satisfied. So we're down even furtther on the fat subclass ladder now.

10-27-2007, 12:14 PM	#18
Aurora Kushy Curves Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: A Buffet Posts: 846	Jes - You have super awesome points. I think you're far from alone in your view as well. In fact I think it's becoming more prevelant in society to be fat and (I don't want to say not care, but...) just accept it that way. I can understand how awkward a relationship would be with a firm fat admirer who wants to hear you say how much you love it when it really doesn't hold those connotations. Honestly, I can relate to that being on the other end. My ex boyfriend was a really big guy, but he didn't like his size. I was all over him about how much I did like his size and emphasized that in our relationship, and while he was less adament about losing weight there still wasn't that love for it that I wanted him to have. He just didn't care. However he didn't care about mine either, and from that stemmed my common saying that there's a big difference between someone who doesn't care what you look like and someone who absolutely loves it. Though to say that applies only to fat would be wrong. Ultimately to be happy I believe it's best to find someone who will love you at any weight. Of course attraction level might change, and I don't think I'd be shallow to say that I wouldn't be quite as attracted to my current boyfriend's body if he lost 50 pounds. I'm sure he feels the same about me. It doesn't mean I'd love him any less. I went off on a tangent there. But this is a topic I'm really interested in. Thanks for elaborating. ~Aurora

10-27-2007, 12:54 PM	#19
Jes is oddly aroused Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 12,553	Really good point--I wonder how similar the 'c'mon, tell me how much you like stressing the bed frame' comments, to someone who just isn't so much turned on by or tuned in to fat that way, are to the 'no, don't tell me I'm sexy, I don't like being fat, don't look at me when I'm naked' comments are to someone who wants to be open about their love of a fat partner's body. Probably very similar, and a big problem for a lot of couples or potential couples.

10-28-2007, 06:46 PM	#21
JimP Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 18	As a skinny person I'd say the most annoying part is to be careful to not lose weight as I'm sure to lose muscle mass if it happens. On the other hand despite my interest for the curvy women I can't imagine myself with a high BMI.

10-29-2007, 07:05 AM	#23
k1009 Cirque du Carnage Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 449	I'm going to be honest, at a certain weight (approximately 80kg on a 174cm frame) I really enjoyed my fat and loved the way my body distributed the weight to areas that had previously been lacking in curves. Having gained a significant amount over that 80kg, I'm finding I have a love/hate relationship with the fat that is probably not healthy mentally. I enjoy the way my body looks, but I loathe the limitations that are now placed on me. As someone who lives in a subtropical climate, in a concrete jungle of millions all relying on a joke of a public transport system, my life is very uncomfortable now that we're heading into summer. Driving is not an option as this is not a city designed for car users. Incidentally, I'm a little under 250 now. I don't feel any sexual thrill being this size, especially when I'm red faced and sweating at 9am. Back a few months and about 30 pounds, I enjoyed it, to an extent. I liked the way it looked, as said previously, and the way it felt. I enjoyed my fat as long as the temperature didn't go over 23 degrees. I guess for me my fat love is seasonal, and as I love Australia and especially Sydney with a passion that I've never felt for any of the other countries and cities I've been in, I'm faced with the option of losing the fat I love and hate or moving out to the suburbs, living in an air conditioned house, driving an air conditioned car and generally avoiding the parts of my city that I enjoy so much. I didn't mean this to turn into a rant about the climate, but for me, the luxury of enjoying my fat is tempered by my love for a country and a lifestyle that seems intent on frying me for half the year. Complicated, I guess.