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Old 02-04-2012, 04:53 PM   #26
MaryElizabethAntoinette
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Originally Posted by FishCharming View Post
i dont care what it meant to you but if anyone called me a fat fuck it would be immediately followed by me calling them a dumb cunt... soooo, there's that...
Makes sense, since you don't have the kind of fetish relationship that some of us do. What's okay for one person is totally not okay for another, which is why we're all different people.

But come on dude, did you really need to bring that up and essentially hint at the fact that you are calling both me and SlightlyMorbid "dumb cunts"?

I certainly don't appreciate that, especially since I've never personally attacked anything you've said.
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Old 02-04-2012, 05:22 PM   #27
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i dont care what it meant to you but if anyone called me a fat fuck it would be immediately followed by me calling them a dumb cunt... soooo, there's that...
I mean, I think dumb cunt's a little extreme for EVERY situation where that happens. Granted, I have this kind of personal thing where, "Hey, 90% of the time I'm the only one who gets to point out I'm a fat fuck, and the other 10% know they have that privilege and don't abuse it." The 90% gets me tearing into them like a pound of bacon if they try something, but the 10% tends to get me tacking on something to their comment.

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Old 02-04-2012, 05:42 PM   #28
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I don't find anything wrong with calling someone a fat fuck. I do it all the time.
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Old 02-04-2012, 07:24 PM   #29
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Makes sense, since you don't have the kind of fetish relationship that some of us do. What's okay for one person is totally not okay for another, which is why we're all different people.

But come on dude, did you really need to bring that up and essentially hint at the fact that you are calling both me and SlightlyMorbid "dumb cunts"?

I certainly don't appreciate that, especially since I've never personally attacked anything you've said.
i get that you guys have different relationship dynamics and i really wasnt trying to be snarky to you guys, i was trying to come up with a comparative level of insult for me, personally. i brought it up because while it may not be insulting to chris and hobbit it is for me and i'd prefer that the op heard all opinions before running out and calling her SO a fat fuck, lol
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Old 02-04-2012, 07:45 PM   #30
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i get that you guys have different relationship dynamics and i really wasnt trying to be snarky to you guys, i was trying to come up with a comparative level of insult for me, personally. i brought it up because while it may not be insulting to chris and hobbit it is for me and i'd prefer that the op heard all opinions before running out and calling her SO a fat fuck, lol
Hence, in my original post, I mentioned the fact that my boyfriend enjoys his size, which is in stark contrast to what the OP said her boyfriend felt.

Because of that obvious fact... I highly doubt my original post was going to inspire her to run off and call her boyfriend a "fat fuck".



Also, I was explaining my unique relationship. Basically explaining how we talk dirty. By saying that Chris enjoys me calling him that (in fact, it was his idea to begin with) doesn't have anything to do with how you would react if someone called you that.
In fact, I would NEVER say something insulting like that to anyone who wasn't completely comfortable with it.

So your rude and insulting response was unnecessary.

You got away with calling me a "dumb cunt" and I really don't appreciate that. Especially when I would never insult you like that.
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Old 02-04-2012, 08:01 PM   #31
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Hence, in my original post, I mentioned the fact that my boyfriend enjoys his size, which is in stark contrast to what the OP said her boyfriend felt.

Because of that obvious fact... I highly doubt my original post was going to inspire her to run off and call her boyfriend a "fat fuck".



Also, I was explaining my unique relationship. Basically explaining how we talk dirty. By saying that Chris enjoys me calling him that (in fact, it was his idea to begin with) doesn't have anything to do with how you would react if someone called you that.
In fact, I would NEVER say something insulting like that to anyone who wasn't completely comfortable with it.

So your rude and insulting response was unnecessary.

You got away with calling me a "dumb cunt" and I really don't appreciate that. Especially when I would never insult you like that.
in case you haven't noticed i'm more of a call you a dumb cunt to your face kind of person but if you dont believe my intentions that's fine, i'm not going to beg for your forgiveness for taking personal offense to something that wasnt meant as an attack.
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Old 02-04-2012, 08:15 PM   #32
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in case you haven't noticed i'm more of a call you a dumb cunt to your face kind of person but if you dont believe my intentions that's fine, i'm not going to beg for your forgiveness for taking personal offense to something that wasnt meant as an attack.
I wasn't even asking for an apology, although it would be nice.

I just said I was insulted by you calling me a "dumb cunt". And your response is to continue to attack me.

To be completely honest, I've been going through a lot of shit. And this really is the last thing I need.

I'm really sorry if my original comment bothered you. It wasn't my intention.

But mentally I can't handle this.
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Old 02-04-2012, 09:04 PM   #33
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I think what Fish meant, Mary, is, if someone would throw something he considered an insult at his face (fat-fuck, in this case), he would respond by throwing an insult back in theirs (dumb cunt).


I don't think in anyway he was personally attacking you, or SM. He was voicing his opinion on what he would do in that situation.


Deep breaths, and smiles all around.
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Old 02-04-2012, 09:16 PM   #34
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I think what Fish meant, Mary, is, if someone would throw something he considered an insult at his face (fat-fuck, in this case), he would respond by throwing an insult back in theirs (dumb cunt).


I don't think in anyway he was personally attacking you, or SM. He was voicing his opinion on what he would do in that situation.


Deep breaths, and smiles all around.
Hehe yeah, it's cool. We've gotten it all ironed out now.
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Old 02-04-2012, 10:12 PM   #35
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It took Escapist 3 years to accept being my "Big Juicy"/"Big Sexy"/"Thickums". However, he only accepted it after I explained that even when he has a 10% body fat he is still going to be big ass mothereffer compared to the general population.
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Old 02-04-2012, 10:50 PM   #36
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i get that you guys have different relationship dynamics and i really wasnt trying to be snarky to you guys, i was trying to come up with a comparative level of insult for me, personally. i brought it up because while it may not be insulting to chris and hobbit it is for me and i'd prefer that the op heard all opinions before running out and calling her SO a fat fuck, lol
I think she should call him a fat fuck, and if he has a problem with it, tell him to stop being a little bitch.
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Old 02-05-2012, 12:57 AM   #37
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Hehe yeah, it's cool. We've gotten it all ironed out now.
word, that's why you're my favorite!
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Old 02-08-2012, 03:48 PM   #38
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I love how some of the most potentially embarrassing moments in my life can be a turn on for her. For example, I destroy flimsy folding chairs everywhere we go. In the past I might have been mortified, but it's great to have someone at my side who's turned on when I bend a metal chair and will squeal "Oh my god, you are so fat honey!"
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Old 02-08-2012, 11:55 PM   #39
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I've never had a problem accepting compliments. Some of the girls I have dated have though. And usually, I tend to be kind of an asshole about it, continually complimenting them until they get used to it. Sometimes people just need to be told enough, eventually they accept you're not just being nice, you're being serious.
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Old 02-10-2012, 06:43 AM   #40
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Fuck...I knew SOMEONE would come in here and make this creepy. I hate when I'm proven right. (Not you BLK, don't worry.)
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Old 02-19-2012, 06:00 AM   #41
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It's funny how quick shit gets blown out of proportion, but maybe...just maybe, I'm just a dumb cunt.

Now give me my fucking pants back Fish <//<*
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Old 02-20-2012, 06:34 PM   #42
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I used to get embarressed by compliments. Now I just smile and say thanks.
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Old 02-20-2012, 10:11 PM   #43
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I don't remember how I take compliments in a relationship because it's been too long. But I usually downplay them. I appreciate them, but never do I get a big head.
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Old 02-21-2012, 12:25 AM   #44
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Fuck...I knew SOMEONE would come in here and make this creepy. I hate when I'm proven right. (Not you BLK, don't worry.)
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Old 02-21-2012, 04:32 PM   #45
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Hey sexy, come here often?
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Old 02-21-2012, 05:15 PM   #46
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Prematurely, but my doctor says if I take these pills it'll stop.
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Old 03-17-2012, 05:09 AM   #47
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Thank you so much for all of these varied responses! I read the thread eagerly as it unfolded, but never really got a chance to sit down and reply.

agouderia - your approach is probably the one that's always worked best for my lad, so it's one I try to persist with. I'm a language freak too, so at least I feel confident that I'm up to the task of choosing precisely the right phrasing in most compliments, and I do try to run with the "big, broad, safe, strong" phrasing whenever I can. It helps that he actually is very strong, so he does find that believable, not just euphemistic. (I'm also particularly grateful that you replied to this post, having just come off the high of reading your story Available In All Sizes. Good with words indeed!) You're also right in pointing out that responding to compliments is a conditioned thing based on past experience - I'm not a thin girl myself, and I have all the requisite baggage that comes with being about an Australian size 14 (you know, not actually what most people call fat, but only because they think fat is an insult as opposed to a descriptor :P ), so I have good and bad days accepting compliments too. He and I will have cute arguments with each other, to the tune of, "Ok, if I accept that you think I'm hot, then you have to accept that I think you're hot!" "Oh fiiiine."

djudex, thank you! Nanny Ogg's such a delight of a character, isn't she? I just love how relentlessly cheery and lascivious she is, how she brings people together and doesn't give a fuck, especially in her appearance in I Shall Wear Midnight.

To the multiple people who advocate being honest to a fault: I both agree and disagree. My lad does know exactly what I like about him physically, including his size and his shape, and has known basically from the beginning (a cute story, but probably not all that relevant to the thread), especially because I can't stand to hear him put himself down, so I would never have been able to keep quiet when he was complaining about not liking himself in the mirror on some particular morning. But I also don't really like the idea of calling him a "fat fuck" or similar - each to their own, of course, and I love that it works for other people, but I just know certain phrasings would hurt his feelings more than swell his pride, so even though I absolutely believe in being honest, it's also really important to me to choose my words to make him as happy as me. After all, a compliment is about making someone else feel good as much as about expressing myself, probably more the former than the latter, and those words wouldn't make him happy.

Sasquatch - he's actually pretty good with taking compliments these days, now that he believes me, and that only took a relatively short while - maybe a few weeks. It's just that he believes I'm nearly the only crazy girl he's ever met who likes his body, rather than tolerating him despite it or being repulsed by it. I know there's not much I can do about that, though I wish there was!

Those who mentioned objectification - I have to be honest, I actually kind of like being periodically objectified, as long as it's by someone who also likes me as a human being with a personality. It's nice to know someone likes your physicality on a visceral level, not just you as a set of emotions or a disembodied brain in a jar or whatever. So I don't think objectifying compliments are bad, as long as they aren't the only kind given.

And thank you all for the warm welcome too!
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Old 03-18-2012, 08:03 PM   #48
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