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Old 04-19-2006, 02:21 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by estrata
I am, but I'm married! ^_^

As always, I put forth the argument. There are many out there, but you have to draw it out of them. We aren't like men.
That's the problem, it's hard to find female feeders, because they hide themselves. But on the other side, I wouldn't like to be fed by a man...
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Old 04-20-2006, 10:17 AM   #27
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Yup. But I'm married. Sorry!
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Old 04-20-2006, 10:22 AM   #28
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Originally Posted by zachary
but i'm not looking for a relationship, i'm just looking for someone to talk to in pms or on im who will encourage me.

Yes, but since feeding is such a sensual act for most of us...it tends to be something we're not comfortable doing outside of a relationship. Not to mention trust issues, and that obnoxious "dislike of being treated like a means to an end" problem that we tend to have. Damn women...

Worse still for those of us who're already coupled up, because I've got to say that encouraging certainly FEELS like cheating (at least, to me). I mean, look at it this way: I might flirt with a guy in passing (like my adorable UPS driver)...but I wouldn't grab his screen name and start chatting with him about how sexy he is WITHOUT mentioning his waistline. Why would adding the element of weight gain make it suddenly ok?
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Old 04-20-2006, 10:27 AM   #29
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She's nailed it. It would feel like adultery to me as well - I couldn't do it.
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Old 04-21-2006, 11:22 AM   #30
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She's nailed it. It would feel like adultery to me as well - I couldn't do it.
Yeah, that line- from flirting to cheating- someone i know discovered my predilection- and...offered to let me touch his belly- hee hee, and i was like, you might as well have offered your package- effectively- the belly is a sexual organ to me. And for what its worth, he respectfully withholds any further comments on the subject (whew *wipes forehead*).

It was very cool to talk openly though, and i do trust this person, he just didn't realize at the time how serious it is for me. but yeah- pin me on the wall of ffa feeders- can't deny it.
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Old 04-22-2006, 03:47 PM   #31
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Well, it wouldn’t feel like cheating to me just to encourage another guy over the net. Because it’s the same as looking at porn, in my opinion, or anything else. It’s something to get you off – it doesn’t mean that you would go and cheat with the porn model. It’s only fantasy. The problem, I think, is if it is a big deal to you and you don’t tell you partner.

Also, I would never feel used. I mean, if you get pleasure from it, then you’re “using” as much as your being “used”. Or something.

Oh, but I agree. I could never touch another guy's belly. Not even intentionally brush up against it. Now that WOULD feel like cheating. LOL, us FFAs are so weird. My husband thinks my "porn" collection is the cutest thing ever. Just 100's of pictures of bellies.
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Old 04-22-2006, 07:41 PM   #32
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i have to ask, where were all of these female feeders back when i was gaining?
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Old 04-23-2006, 05:00 PM   #33
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Well, it wouldn’t feel like cheating to me just to encourage another guy over the net. Because it’s the same as looking at porn, in my opinion, or anything else. It’s something to get you off – it doesn’t mean that you would go and cheat with the porn model. It’s only fantasy. The problem, I think, is if it is a big deal to you and you don’t tell you partner.

Also, I would never feel used. I mean, if you get pleasure from it, then you’re “using” as much as your being “used”. Or something.

Oh, but I agree. I could never touch another guy's belly. Not even intentionally brush up against it. Now that WOULD feel like cheating. LOL, us FFAs are so weird. My husband thinks my "porn" collection is the cutest thing ever. Just 100's of pictures of bellies.
I think there's more emotion involved in encouragement--even online--than there would be in porn. Porn, after all, isn't looking to me for acceptance, advice, or praise. Porn doesn't care if I think it's sexy, doesn't require me to talk to it, and would exist whether I watched it or not. I'm not guiding the actions of porn.

What it comes down to is simply this: I could not see myself saying "hey, boyfriend, I'm going to go home and chat with [name here] about how much hotter he looks since he gained fifty pounds". If I can't tell my boyfriend I'm doing it, I don't do it...after all, there's probably a reason I hesitate to tell him--like the fact that I know he'd be uncomfortable.

To each their own, after all, but that's my litmus test. If I can tell my boy I'm thinking about it (or doing it) it doesn't feel like a big deal. If it's something I'd have to hide from him, it's infidelity by default.
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Old 04-23-2006, 07:11 PM   #34
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To each their own, after all, but that's my litmus test. If I can tell my boy I'm thinking about it (or doing it) it doesn't feel like a big deal. If it's something I'd have to hide from him, it's infidelity by default.
That's totally it, isn't it? If you feel it's bad, it is bad. Hmm....

I think there is a weird grey area though. I mean, I feel fine telling a guy the pictures of his belly are gorgeous. And I feel fine telling him he should eat more, or encouraging him to eat a bunch of ice cream for dessert. But if he started talking about how he’s “touching himself” or whatever, that freaks me out royally. So I think I maintain an emotional distance, so for me it is like porn. I mean, I don’t get off on the fact that this one particular guy is eating more to get fatter. It’s more the situation, and saying it to someone just stimulates those thought processes.

But to be honest. I’ve never actually done it (gotten really in depth as an online encourager), so this is all hypothetical. And in the end, the main problem is that you really are “using” the man if you do that, because although you may be maintaining an emotional distance he might have a different idea, even if you set some ground rules before hand. For me it’s the same as reading a story about someone else feeding someone up, but for him he might see something in it. So that would be my big dilemma if I were to be a hardcore online encourager person - you have to realize the person your encouraging is a real live person as well.
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Old 04-24-2006, 04:54 PM   #35
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Default i'm NOT SO UNIQUE after all <G>

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Originally Posted by estrata
My husband thinks my "porn" collection is the cutest thing ever. Just 100's of pictures of bellies.

LOLOLOL...I feel so much better to know i am NOT the only woman out there that has 100s of belly pictures in their *PORNO CACHE* from fat stocky muscular football players to college beer drinkers ....nothing makes me hornier then a big ole belly..the rounder the better <G>
thanks 4 sharing that xoxo Wendy
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Old 04-24-2006, 07:04 PM   #36
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Default I am inspired as all heck....

This thread has helped me to focus in on a project that I have been thinking about for some time. This weekend, I started work on expanding my 1986 article, "The Disciples of Flesh", from the AMOK Press edition of "Apocalypse Culture," into a full scale book on the history and experience of erotic feeding and weightgain. I have realized that there are many questions to be answered and many to be asked and I think the time is finally right out in the World for enough folks to be interested to make it worthwhile writing and shopping such a book around.
I think one of the big questions is why there "seems" to be such a gender differential...it seems that there are so many more male feeders, both straight and gay... than female feeders out there...I say that it seems so, for female feeders are generally far more subtle in their cues and usually not at all as upfront about their preferences, until a relationship is already formed...allow me the indulgence of an example!
I was just walking by the receptionist's desk at the clinic where I work last week and she asked me if I wanted a cookie. Well, I was all shy and shaking my head "no"...and then she smiled at me with just the vaguest hint of flirtatious-ness and said "Cookies are good for you...go ahead!" Well, gosh, how could I turn that down? Female feeders are out there, but their social cues are perhaps harder to read for men who are sometimes less practiced in reading such cues and flirtatious behaviors.
Please to indulge just one more story that is going into the book. When I was 13, my best friend was a lad named Stephen...obviously intelligent, filled with interesting conversations and edging up around 325 pounds. When his friend David and I were visiting him one afternoon, his mother brought in some sandwiches for us...I use the word with reservations, because these things had about a half pound of butter each and an equal amount of peanut butter....they must have packed several thousand calories...David and I couldn't even begin to choke them down and I was no small lad myself...I was tipping up around 175 pounds at age 13....but Stephen was just eating them up like they were going out of style...it was just a couple of years ago that I suddenly realized that his Mom fit the classic model of the female feeder....I had been so close...but so far...the story of my life...well, I will report in as the project progresses...for now, I am off for some icey-creamy and Little Debbie...yummers!

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Old 07-26-2006, 06:49 AM   #37
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After listening to this thread I am going to change a few things in my search. I agree that saying you are a feedee looking for a feeder is counterproductive. There are a few women out there that know what that is but even though the numbers are increasing most have no idea. I think if running an add, something simple like chubby fun loving guy that likes to cook etc type of add would do better and the women who not be self aware of their ffa/feeder interests wouldn't be wierded out by the feederism talk.
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Old 07-26-2006, 07:05 AM   #38
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Default The great truth here....

....is that the female feeder is within us and it is She...the archetypal inner embodiment of the Disciples of the Flesh that must fuel our burning desires! I am picturing something along the line of Clive Barker's Cenobites...particularly Angelique, Princess of Hell...now that would be something to consider! It is up to the gainer to find the source of desire within, or She will never, ever, ever appear in a thousand lifetimes. There is imagination and then there is ritual magic, artifice and the employment of certain arcane erotic practices...when impossibility appears in the quest, the only way left open is inward.
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Old 07-26-2006, 07:54 AM   #39
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After listening to this thread I am going to change a few things in my search. I agree that saying you are a feedee looking for a feeder is counterproductive. There are a few women out there that know what that is but even though the numbers are increasing most have no idea. I think if running an add, something simple like chubby fun loving guy that likes to cook etc type of add would do better and the women who not be self aware of their ffa/feeder interests wouldn't be wierded out by the feederism talk.

I have tried posting very specifically for chubby / muscular / fat / big gutted men on craigs list extensively...i randomly try every few months to see what might crawl out of the wood work...lots of men are embarassed of their bellys and NOT PROUD..they love the sound of a woman worshipping their belly...but after all its CL and they are married, attached or just looking to get laid..hard to find a serious one there...in *MY EXPERIENCE*...all the man i meet who are seriously seeking a FFA..are like why aren't there MORE WOMEN like you?..but I have had no real luck finding a feedee yet...distance is tuf i want real life..i can't expect nor do i want some wannabe to move to my home town to GROW...so i am patient today that god will give me what i need in his time..NOT MINE : >
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Old 07-26-2006, 10:39 AM   #40
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I have tried posting very specifically for chubby / muscular / fat / big gutted men on craigs list extensively...i randomly try every few months to see what might crawl out of the wood work...lots of men are embarassed of their bellys and NOT PROUD..they love the sound of a woman worshipping their belly...but after all its CL and they are married, attached or just looking to get laid..hard to find a serious one there...in *MY EXPERIENCE*...all the man i meet who are seriously seeking a FFA..are like why aren't there MORE WOMEN like you?..but I have had no real luck finding a feedee yet...distance is tuf i want real life..i can't expect nor do i want some wannabe to move to my home town to GROW...so i am patient today that god will give me what i need in his time..NOT MINE : >
Honestly, I love California, but if I found the right woman feeder and could make a living, I would very likely move to join that person because I feel the relationship I have with my lover is the most important one I have. I really believe we both have to work at a relationship to make it a success and that means making some sacrifices. I don't have a problem with that. I am more likely to shake the tree or find another tree than wait for an apple to fall.
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Old 07-26-2006, 10:46 AM   #41
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Honestly, I love California, but if I found the right woman feeder and could make a living, I would very likely move to join that person because I feel the relationship I have with my lover is the most important one I have. I really believe we both have to work at a relationship to make it a success and that means making some sacrifices. I don't have a problem with that. I am more likely to shake the tree or find another tree than wait for an apple to fall.

how do u make that leap though...from different parts of the world to realizing you have a common bond..thats NOT enough to make a relationship in my opinion...there needs to be other common interests...I so want a gorgeous feedee to be part of my life and to LIVE THE FANTASYS...trust me on that one : >
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Old 07-26-2006, 11:06 AM   #42
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how do u make that leap though...from different parts of the world to realizing you have a common bond..thats NOT enough to make a relationship in my opinion...there needs to be other common interests...I so want a gorgeous feedee to be part of my life and to LIVE THE FANTASYS...trust me on that one : >
Yes, I agree that you don't just decide to move across the world when you first meet someone, but it is amazing how much you can learn about each other through communication via the web or phone. That is why I say the right feeder woman. Finding a feeder or feedee to be your companion is not an easy goal to accomplish and it is such a strong sexually fullfilling relationship that it is a good foundation to build on, but I agree before the move you need to get to know each other, perhaps even meet some. Even then no relationship comes with guarantees. To me this relationship is more important than a job and people move all the time for careers and other less important reasons. For me making some kind of sacrifice for the relationship adds reason to try to make the relationship work too. I think it would make me work even harder to make it work at least. That is why I am completely open to moving to be with the right woman feeder.
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Old 07-27-2006, 05:38 PM   #43
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I'm an FFA who is very interested in feeding but so far I've only fantasized and sort of sneakily encouraged partners to eat.

I'm not looking for a relationship, but I might be a potential person to include if you are looking for a headcount.

I bet there are a lot of potential feeders like me, too: it's not something a lot of women are open about IME.
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Old 07-27-2006, 06:31 PM   #44
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I'm an FFA who is very interested in feeding but so far I've only fantasized and sort of sneakily encouraged partners to eat.

I'm not looking for a relationship, but I might be a potential person to include if you are looking for a headcount.

I bet there are a lot of potential feeders like me, too: it's not something a lot of women are open about IME.
I think we should talk more. I have only seen your avatar photo but you look cute and I like your personality. You sound like a good match for me. The only thing is I am on the West coast, but you never know what could happen and I am open to moving for the right person.
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Old 07-27-2006, 07:41 PM   #45
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I think we should talk more. I have only seen your avatar photo but you look cute and I like your personality. You sound like a good match for me. The only thing is I am on the West coast, but you never know what could happen and I am open to moving for the right person.
That's very sweet of you, but I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm sorry; I only spoke up because I thought you were sort of looking for percentages. ("How many people on this board fall into this category?") You do seem like a very nice person, and I wish you the best of luck!

I didn't mean to be confusing. I'm really enjoying interacting with like-minded people here.
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Old 07-27-2006, 08:10 PM   #46
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That's very sweet of you, but I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm sorry; I only spoke up because I thought you were sort of looking for percentages. ("How many people on this board fall into this category?") You do seem like a very nice person, and I wish you the best of luck!

I didn't mean to be confusing. I'm really enjoying interacting with like-minded people here.
Oh, I don't think you were being confusing at all. I am just an assertive guy. But I was just thinking, you seem to be a very desirable person and a good communicator, so even though you mentioned you might be a bit shy I am willing to bet when are open to a relationship you will find it soon after you start to look. My guess is you might even not have to go far. I have been through much of the Midwest and there are a lot of bigger guys to pick from. It is just a matter of getting out there when you are ready. All the best!
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