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Old 08-30-2007, 05:31 PM   #1
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Default College and its resulting confusion

So, I find myself at school this year as a sophomore, and I've been kind of gaining off and on (mostly middling) for many years now. With the exception of senior year of high school when I was about 170, I've been hovering around 190-200 since '02, and I'm currently at the higher end of that right now. I'd thought for months (all summer, actually) that I'd diet and get down to about 170 again, for social reasons I guess. Instead, I put on ten pounds and I show up on campus the heaviest I'd been since 2005. To my surprise, after I was settled, I discovered that I was actually almost kind of comfortable with being that size and not losing any weight. You'd think a guy who'd tried to gain for years would've had more of those moments, but you'd think wrong.

So, I've been thinking about keeping the train going and maybe heading to around 230, maybe more. And I'm excited about it. But I've made these kinds of plans a million times before, and stopped them because I chickened out, or was interrupted by some life event, or a million other excuses. I think I'd be happy fat, but I wasn't unhappy thin, though either way it wasn't like I was Don Juan or anything (tho I have a girlfriend now, who seems ambivalent about what size I am). It's just that after spending so much time at a middle ground that I haven't been permanently pleased with staying at for a long while, I'm eager for change, I guess.

Would making a decision to gain at this point (while I'm young and still in a heavily-social school place) be a bad idea? Because while I like the idea of being fat, I can't exactly picture the reality in my head because I've never gone any farther than I where I am before. It doesn't help that I don't know anyone personally who's actually put on the Frosh 15, but that really shouldn't impact what I do. I know this is a personal thing that only I can decide myself in the end, but are there any college gainers who could lend me some much-needed advice on what to do now, or how they handled these kinds of internal questions?
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Old 08-31-2007, 07:33 AM   #2
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I'm a senior in college and I've also decided to gain. I don't think its a bad idea to gain in college at all. Personally I toyed with the idea of gaining for over a year before I did. I guess what helped me come to a decision was becoming a member of Dimensions. When I found a place where I could be happy and fat, then the idea of gaining became a lot more appealing. So I guess my advice is that if you can be happy while fat then go for it. If your friends are going to make fun of you than their not really your friends anyway. And I understand that you can't picture yourself fat. I have the exact same problem because I've always been thin. Photoshopping a picture of yourself can help.
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Old 08-31-2007, 04:02 PM   #3
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Well, I know goal-oriented gaining is the way a lot of gainers do it, but it's not that bad an idea to casually put on a little, see what you think, and either eep going or turn around or stay where you are. Take it as it comes, don't worry too much about the end result when the best outcome is so ambiguous.
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Old 09-01-2007, 06:49 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Moonchild View Post
Well, I know goal-oriented gaining is the way a lot of gainers do it, but it's not that bad an idea to casually put on a little, see what you think, and either eep going or turn around or stay where you are. Take it as it comes, don't worry too much about the end result when the best outcome is so ambiguous.
All very well put. I guess part of is worrying that while I like it now, I might not like it after another 40-50 lbs...though I don't have evidence that I'll do that, other than the fact that I'm still fairly insecure about my body outside my friendship circles. A lot of it is being worried that I'll regret either putting on more weight (because as much I like it, it might affect me socially maybe) or I'll regret "giving up" and losing the weight (which i've done and then re-gained it later multiple times). Clearly I've written myself into a dead end at this point in my life, which is why all the questions.
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Old 09-01-2007, 10:13 PM   #5
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My first year in school I gained around 20+ lbs in around 2 months time. Definetely you have a wide array of foods along with the snacking, stress, etc. It can go up quickly, I was 145 went to 173 during that span. However for social reasons and because of my health I decided I should lose some weight. Right now I'm in 160. But I have more muscle than fat. Its easier for a taller person to carry the weight. Since I'm 5'9" I don't want to go overboard.
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Old 09-02-2007, 04:53 AM   #6
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Ekim ... I think it's a pretty fair statement to say that the more weight you gain that takes you out of the -normal- range, the more it will affect you socially. I am sure many people have differing views on this but as we talk about daily here on Dims ... our current western world isn't particularly -fat friendly- ... you know?

While I tend to think men can get away with extra weight much easier than women can, the social stigmas -ARE- there for larger people and the ensuing assumptions ... slovenliness, gluttony, lack of self control ... etc. Our culture is consumed with -thin- and we are bombarded with those facts daily. If you choose to get larger, you need to accept the stigma that inevitibly goes with that decision. It may not be profound for you, depending on the amount you gain but it's out there. It's a matter of weighing choices. You need to love yourself, of course and be confident in who you are otherwise it's likely you won't be satisfied at any weight.

Because you seem genuinely conflicted right now and have some valid concerns, I'd be careful at this point in time about serious weight gain efforts. You -think- you -might- be happier at a larger size but you don't seem very convincing in your posts. You seem to have some reservations that are valid ... especially since social interaction is a great focus or part of University life for a large number of people. It IS a very social time in a person's life. The more weight you gain, the greater likelyhood that you will be limited in some activities.

I'd advise against an all out weight gaining campaign until you are a bit more established and honestly, a bit older. People always think that they can simply take weight off once they gain it but that isn't always the case. For the vast majority of people, it's far easier to put it on. As you give yourself time and a few years ... hopefully your self esteem will strengthen and you will have a clearer picture in your mind about your weight goals. I look at weight gain as relatively permanent ... like my tattoos ... therefore I'd not embark on a purposeful gaining journey without being sure it's what you want for you and right now you don't seem to know what you want for you exactly. The odds are good that you have plenty of time to gain weight when you are more confident and determined about what will make you happy.

Perhaps for now ... simply enjoy college and eat what you enjoy without a targeted weight gain plan. See what this does to your weight and overall body ... see what it does to your activity level and your social interactions. In the meantime ... work on love and acceptance of yourself in general and let your overall self esteem improve ... it will enhance you greatly and will make your further decisions on weight gain a more empowering experience. You know ... not every fantasy you have has to become a reality right now ... ~laughs~ you've got plenty of time in your life to explore many things that interest you ... when you are sure of the course you want to take.

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Old 09-02-2007, 07:23 AM   #7
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gaining isnt so bad. Most of the guys and girls are looking "well-fed." In fact, even after gaining almost 30 pounds, I still plan to pack on more. (I'm 5'11ish and about 155 now, was 130). Its pretty normal I think to be a little chunky these days.
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Old 09-02-2007, 01:06 PM   #8
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I totally agree. Here at UB we have no shortage of people carrying a little extra. I think with all the food available at college its inevitable that alotta people gain weight.
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Old 09-02-2007, 07:38 PM   #9
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i dont see how gaining would be a bad decision. if you really want to be fatter, then go for it.

i've strugled with gaining in the past, kind of a "should i or shouldnt i" thing. i always end up wanting to be fatter though, so im gonna keep going for it.
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Old 09-05-2007, 04:12 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by collegeguy2514 View Post
i dont see how gaining would be a bad decision. if you really want to be fatter, then go for it.

i've strugled with gaining in the past, kind of a "should i or shouldnt i" thing. i always end up wanting to be fatter though, so im gonna keep going for it.
Yeah, but the mitigating social factors are pretty strong, don't you think? Especially if you don't start out at a high weight (tho 200's not much to scoff at, really).
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Old 09-05-2007, 05:00 PM   #11
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That depends on how many friends you have and how important they are to you. If you don't have a lot of friends or don't care what they think than the social factor shouldn't be an issue. Of course there's still society's hatred of fatness to deal with. On that note though, in my experience college is not like high school. In other words people are generally too busy with their own lives to worry about what other people do.
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Old 09-06-2007, 06:11 AM   #12
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I don't know hoenstly. I'm a sophomore in college and the decision to gain is something that is very very fluctuating. I'm already outside of the normal range, with the way I dress and all, so gaining would catapult me outside of normal faster than is human possible.

Still, I think what was suggested earlier is the best way to go...gain a little, adjust to it, see if you can feasibly continue (and by feasible I mean do you have th emoney for, let's say...new clothes when you need it, etc), and make your decision from there.

Good luck!
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Old 09-13-2007, 07:41 AM   #13
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I'm a Senior in College too this is my last Semester and these two classes seem so easy maybe its because I go to school once a week but its real relaxing
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Old 09-15-2007, 09:57 PM   #14
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*hugs* Good replies in this thread Mikey. We've talked about this and I don't know if I do any good in swaying you one way or the other (and that's not my intent), but if I know anything about you I know you love the plushness you've attained so far and you find gaining thrilling in the same ways I do. It's hard for me to put myself in your position because I've been playing the fat role all my life, so getting fatter just further establishes that position. I've never been in that transition area where you're at, but from the words you've written I understand it's confusing as all hell.

Ultimately you have to decide exactly what you want in life. Don't worry about other people. Think about the sacrefices you might personally have to make.

For example, Matt has put on a few pounds since I've known him and he's gained to the point where he can no longer ride on some of the rides he used to at theme parks (exceeding weight limits and all that). I think he's okay with that fact because he enjoys being fat more than he enjoyed riding those rides. Does that make sense?

I guess you won't ever really know until you experience it, and at our age it *is* much easier to lose weight than if we were older if you find it's not right for you.

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Old 09-16-2007, 08:30 PM   #15
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Quote:
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I've never been in that transition area where you're at, but from the words you've written I understand it's confusing as all hell.
And I suspect that's exactly what it is. I'm also making the transition from "average" to "fat" while not being either one. I don't know that I'd say it's confusing, because it's pretty clear what's been happening—for me at least.

I'm marking the life event of becoming fat. Ok, so it's not an event like buying a house: there is a clear time of ownership transfer, people ask you all about it, and generally think it's a great thing. And—again, for me at least—the new house transition wears off pretty quickly. On the other hand, growing fat takes time, so the transition is slower. I think that's one possible source of confusion.

I guess the only thing to do is relax and enjoy whatever happens, though desert won't hurt.
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Old 09-17-2007, 09:30 AM   #16
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Interesting fact relating to college gaining - one of my professors told us last year that males naturally gain 10-15 lbs around that age frame anyways, it just happens to be around the same time as freshman year.
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