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Old 10-24-2010, 01:31 PM   #26
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I'm glad bobblehead was able to stay positive while single and dating. But that's not true for all of us all of the time and I feel it's unfair to tell those of us who are still struggling with it to "just be happy," "just live your life." It doesn't work that way for all of us and having our feelings invalidated by someone who is partnered isn't helpful and won't get us on the road to discovering self-fulfillment (with a partner or without) any time sooner.

I agree that we don't need another reason to beat ourselves up, to continuously engage in negative self-talk. But the best way to get through it and discover our own fulfillment is on our own, maybe with the help of a good therapist, and without partnered people telling us how to be, how to hurry up and discover the end of the rainbow simply because they've found theirs. Sometimes while you're walking your own path to self-fulfillment, it helps to have a place to come and express your feelings about how hard it can sometimes be to walk the walk, with people who can understand and identify where you're coming from, without people who will tell you how to be simply because they found their way to self-fulfillment before you did.
i'm sorry but i don't see it as an "i'm better than you" post. how are we supposed to ever feel uplifted if we're only talking about how bad everything is. as i read the post it was more about how things should be. goals are important.

the post says absolutely nothing about being single v partnered. respectfully, i think you are reading things in that aren't there in the post. you may have some other knowledge thats coloring your opinion. and you may want to think about why you're taking it the way that you are.
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Old 10-24-2010, 01:33 PM   #27
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Yeah, how dare I stand up for single people and say that we should be allowed to express our frustrations about being single and not have partnered people tell us how to be! The audacity! Such a downer!

I felt like bobblehead was glossing over our experiences and telling us to "just be happy," "just enjoy life," which is not what single women need to hear from someone who is partnered. Just like I don't need to hear Jillian Michaels tell me what an unacceptable, unlovable slob I am simply because I'm fat.

To your first point, I say: you've missed my point entirely. I didn't, and don't, say that you can't express your frustrations. I did, and do, say that you shouldn't tell anyone who is well-versed in (undesired) singlehood that she has no understanding or empathy. I can't believe you don't see that those are 2 entirely different things, so I'm wondering what's really going on. If you got a boyfriend tomorrow, would you honestly think that you wouldn't have understanding or empathy for a fat woman who is single? Would you like to be told that you didn't? Would you think it accurate? Would you think it helpful or constructive? Or would you think it really fucking wrong?

To your second point, I say: I'm still not seeing where the OP talked about single women. You've gotten closer to the issue by saying you feel she was starting a thread to discuss someone else's comments elsewhere. But look at what you, yourself, wrote 30s. 'I felt...I felt...I feel.' That's exactly right. You feel. You don't know. You don't know that that's why she posted, you don't know that that's what she means and you don't know that she's addressing you or any other single woman. Obviously, you think so, I get it, but thinking isn't knowing. And that's what I'm taking issue with, here.

In terms of why you feel so attacked when I, and many others, don't attack you, I can't say, 30s. Only you can answer that for yourself. And while I agree that sounds flippant, I actually, truly, don't mean it that way. I see a lot of anguish in a lot of your posts and they put me on edge--in part, b/c I used to sound more like you, and in part b/c I think you have the potential to be free of a lot of that and I hope you make that happen. You are certainly worth it.

I've said my piece, I've tried to understand your piece and I'm not going to keep debating this. I sense it's devolving before my eyes and, like the OP said, I'm making the choice not to be anguished today. Good luck.
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Old 10-24-2010, 01:49 PM   #28
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i'm sorry but i don't see it as an "i'm better than you" post. how are we supposed to ever feel uplifted if we're only talking about how bad everything is. as i read the post it was more about how things should be. goals are important.

the post says absolutely nothing about being single v partnered. respectfully, i think you are reading things in that aren't there in the post. you may have some other knowledge thats coloring your opinion. and you may want to think about why you're taking it the way that you are.
I don't think bobblehead's intentions were to say she's better than anyone, but rather to express her frustration about recent threads that women have created in this forum about their own lack of confidence and feelings of frustration with the dating scene. Her post came hot on the heels of Isamarie's thread about that very issue.

However, had she just expressed her frustrations about reading those kinds of complaints on this forum, I would take no issue with it. What I take issue with was the points she made in her post which seem to express a design for living for fat, single women, as in "these are the things you should do to be happy." Which, again, is not what a fat, single person needs to hear from a partnered person. Bobblehead was able to keep a positive outlook while single and dating, which is great, and has now found a partner, which is great. But her experiences are not reflective of mine or of many other fat, single women who post in this forum or elsewhere.
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Old 10-24-2010, 01:51 PM   #29
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Default Thought it might help if we got back to the basics.

Not everyone has had the chance to review what this board is about...

BBW: Stands for Big Beautiful Woman, a magazine and acronym owned by our Webmaster, Conrad Blickenstorfer. We operate from the literal meaning of the acronym, that big truly is beautiful.

Purpose of this forum: This forum is for discussion of BBW-only issues, by BBW about living as a BBW. We welcome on-topic commentary from SSBBW, non-BBW and all others. There are many other forums for discussion of other subjects, but this is the go-to place for on-topic sharing of our experiences living as big, beautiful women in a society not geared towards recognizing the acronym as a truism. Like the rest of Dimensions, this board is fat-positive.

The rules are simple: the Golden Rule rules here. Please treat others the way you would like to be treated yourself.

This board was created to foster solidarity, sharing and learning from each other. An important requirement is the desire to build community and help one another, not tear each other down; therefore, nastiness and flaming will not be tolerated at all. The dream is that this will be such a positive board that actually having to wander over to the un-fun aspects of moderating rarely happens.

It is also important to stay on-topic so that a valuable discussion will not be sidetracked and diverted to some other issue not having to do with the subject at hand.

For Non-BBW posters: This is a public but protected board much the way the Erotic Weight Gain and FA/FFA boards are protected. Non-bbw posters who venture here should take care to provide postive and non-disruptive posts.

Compliments: They're usually a good thing, but we ask that the opposite sex refrain from complimenting any photos here. If we want to be admired, we'll post our pics on one of the other boards. Thank you for understanding that. And if you don't, just take our word for it that it's important to a number of our community members.

If a BBW starts a thread asking specifically for BBW input, DO NOT comment in the thread. Doing so will be considered disruptive, and will result in infractions and/or a possible loss of some or all posting privileges for
BBW board.

The following topics will be considered explicitly disruptive:

-Sexually inappropriate/disrespectful comments.
-Misogynistic (woman hating) or misandrynistic (man hating) comments from any poster.

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Old 10-24-2010, 02:08 PM   #30
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To your first point, I say: you've missed my point entirely. I didn't, and don't, say that you can't express your frustrations. I did, and do, say that you shouldn't tell anyone who is well-versed in (undesired) singlehood that she has no understanding or empathy. I can't believe you don't see that those are 2 entirely different things, so I'm wondering what's really going on. If you got a boyfriend tomorrow, would you honestly think that you wouldn't have understanding or empathy for a fat woman who is single? Would you like to be told that you didn't? Would you think it accurate? Would you think it helpful or constructive? Or would you think it really fucking wrong?
Um... I wouldn't find a boyfriend in a day. I might have a successful date, but he's not a boyfriend after one date. It takes months of dating and getting to know someone before I would consider them a boyfriend. During those months of successful dating and then the start of a hopefully successful relationship, I would not trot out my design for living to other single women. I would feel happy that I'd found a partner who fits me, but it's not my place to tell single people how to change their feelings and live their lives in order to find a partner like I did. That journey is their own and the things they feel and discover as they make that journey are their own.

Taking the partner out of the equation, the same would apply if I finally reached a state of fulfillment in my life as a single person. Personally, I don't think that's really our goal in life, to reach a state of complete fulfillment, or a reality. I don't think we ever reach a place in our lives when we say "I'm completely fulfilled, I'll never feel unhappy or unsatisfied again." We might have periods in our lives when we feel happier and more satisfied than we have in previous stages in our lives, but I don't think we ever discover complete fulfillment, full stop. Life is a journey and a process, and should I arrive at a place of relative fulfillment at some point on my journey, I'm not going to tell others how to do it just like I did because they have to find their way on their own. I might express my frustration about hearing or reading their complaints, but I'm not going to say "just do it this way" and expect it to happen for them.

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To your second point, I say: I'm still not seeing where the OP talked about single women. You've gotten closer to the issue by saying you feel she was starting a thread to discuss someone else's comments elsewhere. But look at what you, yourself, wrote 30s. 'I felt...I felt...I feel.' That's exactly right. You feel. You don't know. You don't know that that's why she posted, you don't know that that's what she means and you don't know that she's addressing you or any other single woman. Obviously, you think so, I get it, but thinking isn't knowing. And that's what I'm taking issue with, here.
I'm a pretty perceptive person. Had Bobblehead's post not shown up so quickly after Isamarie's post, I might feel differently about her intentions. But it seems pretty clear to me.
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Old 10-24-2010, 02:21 PM   #31
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Again, I don't disagree with you. But I don't think you're paying close attention to the points I'm making, which you've admitted in this thread with your statement that you tend to skim longer posts.
I think everyone else has said what needs to be said in their posts, but i never skim when responding to a direct post only when reading.... I think everyone has missed your point....
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Old 10-24-2010, 04:45 PM   #32
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well gals,

it's true...i rarely ever come into the bbw room anymore because, honestly, it's a bummer. i understand everyone has issues and deals with things their own way...but this is my happy post for all the big girls out there who:

1. accept they're fat. faced it. dealt with it. learned to love it.
2. are good with who they are. this is me. i love me. if you don't...oh well.
3. rock what they got!
4. go out and live life! you only spin once kids...have to live every minute.
5. inspire those who haven't gotten there yet to know they are beautiful

best to everyone! now get out there and live your life your life and love yourself!
Best to you too, BHD!!! I miss you and am so happy for you too! Don't be a stranger!
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Old 10-24-2010, 05:05 PM   #33
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my darlings...just to clarify...

a. i posted this as a one off statement...i haven't even read anything by isamarie and have no intention of. my comment regarding this board being depressing is my overall impression...as i have been reading this board since it was opened. i do realize my dears that not everyone is at the same place in their life as me...and to those still working on themselves...i do hope you can find the love for yourself. my comments were to send rep and love to everyone who had fought the interal fight and found their inner love. so many of the posts on here are about the girls still working on it...just wanted to send some love to those who have and let those still fighting know it is possible.

b. fyi..i just got married in august. at the ripe old age of 38! i dated regularly and had not committed, as i was waiting for 'the one'. yes, i have attained self confidence and the ability to socially interact in a positive way. my comments had nothing to do with marital status. i was this fantastic as a single girl too . single or married...you have to love yourself before you can love others.

c. much love to all the girls who haven't gotten this far...just know the ability to find true hapiness is in YOU.

d. i salute all the bbw out there who have...

much love to all.
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Old 10-25-2010, 08:27 AM   #34
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I don't know you at all, Bobblehead, but in general I'm not a big fan of statements in any context that read like: "Hey, I hope all of you can one day be as evolved as I am." They just seem really condescending. Maybe your post was meant to be encouraging, it comes off a bit condemning tho - of women who are already kind of miserable. And while constantly miserable people can be wearing, and I think most all of us want them to learn to find joy and contentment in the beauty and wonder of their daily lives (and that only they can do that for themselves), I think they need to feel truly heard and empathized with before they are willing to hear any positive/encouraging advice you may have. Otherwise you're just some happy-go-lucky stranger, and you have no legitimate right to say anything about their pain, their lives, or their happiness.

I'm sincerely happy for your love for yourself, and that you have found a wonderful partner, and that you are at a good place in life. That's really great! I know also that life is perfect for none of us, and I hope that when you do go through times of real sadness and struggle, that there will be people who will thoroughly listen to you and be with you in your pain for a time, without rushing you to the silver lining.
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Old 10-25-2010, 04:43 PM   #35
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I liked your post, and agree with all of it.




We've all got bad and good in our lives, but you hope that good outweighs bad and that you try everyday to grab joy - in whatever way you can, some bad days it's just spending time with my kitties or laughing over something ridiculous with a friend, or a simple text message from a friend I love saying they were thinking of me. I'm far from Mary Sunshine (I know, hard to believe) - but I love laughing and being silly and drinking in the people I love. Those are great things and I hope everyone can find those good things.

And congrats, BHD, on your nuptials.
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Old 10-25-2010, 04:55 PM   #36
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I don't know you at all, Bobblehead, but in general I'm not a big fan of statements in any context that read like: "Hey, I hope all of you can one day be as evolved as I am." They just seem really condescending. Maybe your post was meant to be encouraging, it comes off a bit condemning tho - of women who are already kind of miserable. And while constantly miserable people can be wearing, and I think most all of us want them to learn to find joy and contentment in the beauty and wonder of their daily lives (and that only they can do that for themselves), I think they need to feel truly heard and empathized with before they are willing to hear any positive/encouraging advice you may have. Otherwise you're just some happy-go-lucky stranger, and you have no legitimate right to say anything about their pain, their lives, or their happiness.

I'm sincerely happy for your love for yourself, and that you have found a wonderful partner, and that you are at a good place in life. That's really great! I know also that life is perfect for none of us, and I hope that when you do go through times of real sadness and struggle, that there will be people who will thoroughly listen to you and be with you in your pain for a time, without rushing you to the silver lining.
This - all of it.
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Old 10-26-2010, 07:24 PM   #37
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i disagree with some of the previous posts because a fat woman shouldn't have to keep it a secret that she feels centered. its weird and counterproductive in a place for BBWs to think commune and hopefully make some positive changes in their lives. also i think its a lot of reading in to say someone is saying they are more evolved than you just because they feel centered. truthfully speaking though, if a woman does feel centered and another does not then maybe she IS more evolved since thats the goal of the woman who does not feel centered--unless its felt that its healthier and desirable somehow to be at odds with your own body and your own reality. its kind of odd to think that on a site where evolving as a fat woman is so important that a woman is admonished when she feels she is. always keeping things to a misery level is disheartening and depressing if thats all you do. what does it say about fat women if they can't stand it if some other fat woman has something they aspire to. there is something nutty about that and IMO typically catty.
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Old 10-26-2010, 07:59 PM   #38
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could you delete the previous post please

i disagree with some of the previous posts because a fat woman shouldn't have to keep it a secret that she feels centered. its weird and counterproductive in a place for BBWs to think commune and hopefully make some positive changes in their lives. also i think its a lot of reading in to say someone is saying they are more evolved than you just because they feel centered and would like to call out other women who do. truthfully speaking though, if a woman does feel centered and another does not then maybe she IS more evolved since thats the goal of the woman who does not feel centered--unless its felt that its healthier and desirable somehow to be at odds with your own body and your own reality.its kind of strange to think that evolving as a fat woman is admonished when she feels she has.

always keeping things to a misery level is disheartening and depressing if thats all you do. what does it say about fat women if they can't stand it if some other fat woman has something they aspire to. should she disappear or light herself on fire just because the issues she has worked on or perhaps never had don't coincide with the distress some other women might feel for being fat? is she suddenly invalid just because she is no longer floundering? IMO there is something nutty about and sadly catty in that. i think its kinda low and small for fat women to have a bug up their ass if another woman feels good about herself or happens to have a man in her life. i think the real issue that seems to be bothering some is the fact that the op has found a partner that she had never mentioned here except in response to criticisms that she was somehow unworthy just because she had managed to find one. why should a fat woman push the self destruct button just because she isn't where she used to be and is happy about where she is now or has a relationship? whats wrong with calling out the other fat women who are happy to show that that reality exists? after all doesn't it get better for fat adults ever? if it doesn't we really should shut our mouths when it comes to telling young fat kids they actually have something good to look forward to in life. especially when we can't even seem to believe or tolerate the idea ourselves.

if something good happening to someone else makes you feel bad about yourself then maybe your own networks need to be rewired? being fat is not a pathology its a life to be lived. i agree that sometimes its tough but sometimes its joyous as well. people shouldn't be made to feel wrong or guilty just because they experience some happiness in their fat lives. should we be beating down people who say it exists only because it makes us uncomfortable because we might not be there yet? i for one am tired of women being forced to pretend their lives are a misery or less than it is because the get punished by other women for saying they have accomplished things they've wanted to. no wonder we hate our own bodies and each other so much. we don't allow each other to like anything about ourselves. people who are happy need to be heard and validated as well. its unfair to treat them like they are doing wrong just because they feel happy with themselves. not all fat women walk around looking sounding and acting like Eor all of the time and they definitely shouldn't be made to.
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Old 10-26-2010, 08:16 PM   #39
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Supero, I suppose using the words nutty and catty is uplifting women. I think it is pretty rotten to not see that some women in this thread - some - are not cheering for misery and not being " centered ", when they took issue with anyone coming into this forum and talking about how much of a downer it is. That is devaluing struggles.
There is nothing...nothing...wrong, and everything right, about proposing a spot in here to talk about ' getting places '. Even the women who are not as confident as you could chime in. It's all in how it is proposed...that pitch. Yes, it absolutley matters, particularly since the very women the positive needs to reach do not need to hear more of the same judging. Also, please remember that many of the women who speak of negatives here, in this forum, might be doing so because they know it won't be as easy to discount. I am betting every ' negative ' woman here has been ' postive ' elsewhere.
A truly positive person wouldn't make others feel like they are depressing as they work on themselves and their lives. I see very few wallowing in misery people in my roaming.
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Old 10-26-2010, 08:33 PM   #40
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its well and good to be sympathetic and empathetic but there are also times when we all need a good kick in the butt no matter who we are. we are all strong enough to take it. we aren't going to weakly crumble if someone says something we don't like. an opinion on a forum shouldn't totally destroy us. if it does maybe it isn't a place we should be. sometimes just maybe we need to stop enabling each other so much.

have you ever wondered why this forum isn't all that active? it can be kind of a downer sometimes. BHD isn't the first person to have thought it or said it. she probably won't be the last. she was just brave enough to post it here. i respect the other opinions but guess what ? there is more than one opinion. i only said what i know other people are thinking because i don't mind being flamed by anyone. if you feel its okay for women to beat up on each other just because someone feels good keep this crap up and no one will be coming to the BBW forum anymore.
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Old 10-26-2010, 08:59 PM   #41
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Again...I think some women sometimes use this forum to say things where they know they have a better chance of not simply hearing " you are gorgeous! be confident! "...again...simply. hearing. Maybe you are not seeing some of those same women who you believe need a " kick in the butt ", posting elsewhere, talking about, with great joy, other things in their lives. You think that the bbw forum should be all any woman on this site needs? Why are you not seeing the positive elsewhere? Should that be analyzed?

I am just not seeing all this wallowing you are talking about. You have started some pretty provocative threads on this forums...threads which invite some of the very ' depressing ' posting you so despise. Now, I don't think those threads are ' bad ' at all, as they just invite different views...but why not keep things onward and upwards...no looking back...no rearview mirror posting? I see quite a bit of variety in this forum.

The OP said this place is depressing...her opinion...others gave theirs. Not sure there is much ' crumbling ' going on.
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:11 PM   #42
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yes i have posted sad depressing hard threads but it doesn't mean i hate it when people post one with the idea of being positive. its my nature. its who i am. just like its somebody else's nature to post something they feel is uplifting. but honestly look at the forum over all. doesn't her opinion at least deserve some consideration? she ISN'T the only one who feels that way. and honestly the reasons for opposition weren't even in her posts--just things people made up in their own minds without even asking her intentions. they wanted to believe that was what she was saying and doing. why is that? why are people so quick to draw that negative impression with people they're supposed to be trying to have commaraderie with. beside that who is supposed to have a guarantee that they'll like every opinion here? isn't there something wrong with having that expectation? whatever happened to freedom?

i have to say i respect everyone's opinions here to a point but not paying attention to the point of the post with the use of bogus inventions just isn't right. sometimes you can't work on what you think implications are because they just might be wrong. among one another especially we should at least be willing to ask questions if we aren't sure where someone is coming from and thats NOT what they literally said in their post.
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Old 10-26-2010, 10:24 PM   #43
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It's one thing to say, "I feel really good about my life right now. I've worked really hard to get here, and it feels f*cking great to be at a place of peace and centeredness with myself, my body, and my life." (I actually love hearing these kinds of statements, and am grateful to have said something like this at various points.)

It's quite another thing to say, "Dang, so many of you people are such downers always feeling bad. Be positive! I did it, and my life is awesome. Why don't you all have awesome lives and feel constantly upbeat like me?"

To clarify, I didn't feel personally attacked or patronized by BHD's post - because I don't consider myself to be typically negative. For someone to celebrate herself and her accomplishments, I am seriously ALL FOR IT. Let's celebrate each other up in here! But let's also do it in a way where we aren't inadvertently (or advertently, if that's a word) kicking other people when they're down.
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Old 10-26-2010, 10:47 PM   #44
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[QUOTE=superodalisque;1594951]
Quote:
yes i have posted sad depressing hard threads but it doesn't mean i hate it when people post one with the idea of being positive. its my nature. its who i am.
So, when you stir up a ton of sad and depressing ( and I am not saying it is wrong, as it can start very difficult conversations ), you might be very instrumental in setting the tone of this forum. I feel, once again, like I am on the sidelines of a ping pong match/experiment.

I am honestly taken aback by how you refuse to see that some of the people who had a problem with the OP's pitching of this thread did not take issue with a ' positive ' thread, or hate when someone has good in their life. Please read what Mcbeth just posted.

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Old 10-27-2010, 07:58 PM   #45
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[QUOTE=mossystate;1595006]
Quote:
Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post

So, when you stir up a ton of sad and depressing ( and I am not saying it is wrong, as it can start very difficult conversations ), you might be very instrumental in setting the tone of this forum. I feel, once again, like I am on the sidelines of a ping pong match/experiment.

I am honestly taken aback by how you refuse to see that some of the people who had a problem with the OP's pitching of this thread did not take issue with a ' positive ' thread, or hate when someone has good in their life. Please read what Mcbeth just posted.
yes i help set the tone too. i own up to that totally.

i respect Mcbeth's post a lot but i don't think anyone owes it to us to word everything specifically in a way that makes us personally comfortable all of the time. it just won't happen. we are too human for that to happen. i think its fine if people speak up if they don't like how something is worded . but at the same time others should feel comfortable in saying why they think its okay. i doubt if anyone has the full handle on the truth for everybody. i also resent being told what i should find acceptable. so i guess everyone is finding something they can be uncomfortable with here.

what i find thats not constructive here is how everything seems to break down into semantics all of the time. what about the important core issues raised? its starting to look like the avoidance that happens whenever someone brings up a difficult topic here. why not just address the statements and questions? why bring stuff into it that has absolutely nothing to do with the question and was never mentioned here? why spend all of our time trying to guess personal motivations we have no way of knowing for sure--especially when it comes to each other? what about going back and researching posts as though people have committed a crime while having a differing opinion and there needs to be court evidence against them?

ARE we being too negative here? are we not feeding that side of ourselves that needs positivity to grow. ARE we running off people who feel okay about themselves? i know recently i had my own childhood invalidated simply because i wasn't made fun of by my peers for being fat. thats my reality but i wasn't supposed to say so to say so because it somehow hurt people's feelings who had a different experience. how is that any different than someone having their pain denied as well? IMO its just another side of the same coin. indicating that a fat person must somehow have a tale of woe in order to be given serious consideration is unsettling. jumping to the conclusion that they think they are superior is also problematic. maybe , just maybe someone is trying to comfort the young ones who read in here and don't post. maybe there are women who want them to know it doesn't have to be so bad all of the time.
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Old 10-27-2010, 08:01 PM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcbeth View Post
It's one thing to say, "I feel really good about my life right now. I've worked really hard to get here, and it feels f*cking great to be at a place of peace and centeredness with myself, my body, and my life." (I actually love hearing these kinds of statements, and am grateful to have said something like this at various points.)

It's quite another thing to say, "Dang, so many of you people are such downers always feeling bad. Be positive! I did it, and my life is awesome. Why don't you all have awesome lives and feel constantly upbeat like me?"

To clarify, I didn't feel personally attacked or patronized by BHD's post - because I don't consider myself to be typically negative. For someone to celebrate herself and her accomplishments, I am seriously ALL FOR IT. Let's celebrate each other up in here! But let's also do it in a way where we aren't inadvertently (or advertently, if that's a word) kicking other people when they're down.
maybe because thats how she really feels and doesn't want to have to lie or pretend about it anymore. after all there are many here who are down who have no problem kicking people who they feel are up. if you kick someone they are liable to kick back. no one gets a free fat pass.
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Old 10-27-2010, 08:27 PM   #47
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Supero, like I said...you are seeing ' avoidance ' where there just might not be any. Not totally sure what you are getting at with mentioning crimimal posts and courts, but I have a feeling you are running with things that don't always match up, are not always the same. You call this ' semantics '. Perhaps you are still smarting over being bashed because you said you were not ridiculed as a fat child. Maybe you are taking that energy and zeroing in on particular words...no matter if the connection is muddy at best. I truly do not think you are understanding...at all...what is being said here, and what is not. maybe take up with the individuals who make you upset...and not a whole forum of women. Like I said...I see lots of variety in posting, and I also understand that some women might seem like they are only dealing in the ' woe '...but I keep my eyes open to all they post.
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Old 10-27-2010, 08:38 PM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mossystate View Post
Supero, like I said...you are seeing ' avoidance ' where there just might not be any. Not totally sure what you are getting at with mentioning crimimal posts and courts, but I have a feeling you are running with things that don't always match up, are not always the same. You call this ' semantics '. Perhaps you are still smarting over being bashed because you said you were not ridiculed as a fat child. Maybe you are taking that energy and zeroing in on particular words...no matter if the connection is muddy at best. I truly do not think you are understanding...at all...what is being said here, and what is not. maybe take up with the individuals who make you upset...and not a whole forum of women. Like I said...I see lots of variety in posting, and I also understand that some women might seem like they are only dealing in the ' woe '...but I keep my eyes open to all they post.
just goes to show that everyone has a different take on things no matter how wide their eyes are in the diligence of trying to take things in. everyone has something that colors their opinions which is usual and human. its good when other people can say straight that they think so. it gives all of us personal honesty and directness thats sometimes lacking and inert. its not that i just don't understand what some are saying but i just don't happen to agree. i don't think i have to either.
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Old 10-27-2010, 08:54 PM   #49
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Well, seeing how I am aware of just how complicated most of the women are out here...sharing the woe and the joy...the way you are digging in here might actually do more harm to those young and silent women who are reading this forum. Thinking it is a good thing to be less ' scolding ' when wanting to hear more good, will be much more beneficial to those lurking women. A person who is down and already silent...really doesn't need to see that they are ' downers '... before they even open their mouths, or allow their fingertips to tell their stories, the good and the not so great. ' Semantics ' sometimes matter...that's all...don't see a problem with wanting to start off good without stepping on others. Oh well.
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Old 10-27-2010, 09:00 PM   #50
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why do you think the fat women who are silent here are necessarily down?
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