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Old 06-17-2013, 05:36 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by musicman View Post
OK, let's talk about labels. I think we've finally reached the heart of our disagreement. I refuse to recognize your unilateral re-definition of the term "FA". You've twisted it into something negative, just like many people do with the word "fat". If you're so concerned about labels, why do you call yourself "fat"? Many people would say that word has some bad connotations. Aren't you afraid of being put into a "bad" category? No, you're not, because you probably see the word "fat" as a simple adjective with no moral judgment attached. You wouldn't want anyone to re-define it in a way that devalues you. I feel exactly the same way about the term "FA". It's not a perfect term, but it's useful in these discussions as a shorthand for "person who prefers a fat partner". That's all it is. It's not a "non-person label" or a "sad crutch", and it doesn't make anyone less human. And it's not a desperate cry for validation, despite what you think. It's simply a neutral description, like the word "fat", and arbitrarily re-defining it makes no sense whatsoever.
so what is so scary or difficult about simply being a man? or better yet a human?

the difference is fat is a physical reality like short or tall but the label you have selected for yourself is a projection of ego consciousness and contains no such neutrality as you maintain. it is an idea, a social reality. it has no physical existence. it is subject to what you think and what other people think of it wrong or right so it's meaning is not even stable.

in answer to your question, i am not and never have been afraid to be what i am. it is my physical reality. can you say the same about your artificial label? evidently not, since you seem extremely sensitive about opinions others may or may not have of it.

actually why don't you go outside and ask the next uninformed person you see what they think of the bald term with no definition. i think that would really inject some reality into it for you.
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Old 06-17-2013, 06:08 PM   #27
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I can sum it up pretty simply, I think:

As someone else already said, you are now experiencing the same thing more "traditionally" attractive women experience - men flocking to you who are only interested in objectifying you. It's annoying, yes, but these types generally reveal themselves pretty quickly. But I really recommend holding out, because when you find an FA who will love you equally for your body and your mind, it is a thousand times better than someone who loves you for JUST your mind or JUST your body. Forgive my bluntness, but you haven't experienced sex until you experience it with someone who is attracted every inch of you. It is possible to have a relationship without intense sexual chemistry, or intense sexual chemistry without a relationship, but if you want both, holding out for it is SO worth it. I am engaged to my FA, and he was so worth the wait.
Yes!!! Mutually reciprocated intense physical attraction really does make a relationship (or break it when its not there). It has to be mutual, however, if its not really a relationship is it?
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Old 06-17-2013, 06:12 PM   #28
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i'd like to add that the women on this thread live their physical reality 24/7 and they cannot hide by simply not mentioning it. that is another huge difference between the two terms.
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:04 PM   #29
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i'd like to add that the women on this thread live their physical reality 24/7 and they cannot hide by simply not mentioning it. that is another huge difference between the two terms.
Sounds as if someone put you through a real emotional grinder of some sort...
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:05 PM   #30
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I personally prefer to be with someone who actually labels themselves as an FA.

I have been with the "I dated a fat woman before and it wasn't an issue with her" or "I can look past the fact that I don't really like that you are fat because I like you" etc. dudes before.

In my experience, something always comes out about the fat dislike in the end. Health, sexual turn-off, societal pressure, you name it.

Do I want to be loved and admired for my heart, mind and character? Yes! It's a requirement to be with me but boy howdy, to have all that and have him say and show how much he loves my body... my FAT body! Woo
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:08 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by musicman View Post
OK, let's talk about labels. I think we've finally reached the heart of our disagreement. I refuse to recognize your unilateral re-definition of the term "FA". You've twisted it into something negative, just like many people do with the word "fat". If you're so concerned about labels, why do you call yourself "fat"? Many people would say that word has some bad connotations. Aren't you afraid of being put into a "bad" category? No, you're not, because you probably see the word "fat" as a simple adjective with no moral judgment attached. You wouldn't want anyone to re-define it in a way that devalues you. I feel exactly the same way about the term "FA". It's not a perfect term, but it's useful in these discussions as a shorthand for "person who prefers a fat partner". That's all it is. It's not a "non-person label" or a "sad crutch", and it doesn't make anyone less human. And it's not a desperate cry for validation, despite what you think. It's simply a neutral description, like the word "fat", and arbitrarily re-defining it makes no sense whatsoever.
Let me translate SuperO's reply for you into simpler terms:

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Old 06-17-2013, 08:08 PM   #32
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I personally prefer to be with someone who actually labels themselves as an FA.

I have been with the "I dated a fat woman before and it wasn't an issue with her" or "I can look past the fact that I don't really like that you are fat because I like you" etc. dudes before.

In my experience, something always comes out about the fat dislike in the end. Health, sexual turn-off, societal pressure, you name it.

Do I want to be loved and admired for my heart, mind and character? Yes! It's a requirement to be with me but boy howdy, to have all that and have him say and show how much he loves my body... my FAT body! Woo
I agree with this- it removes some doubt.. Also it's not so much the "label"- but, the person in the end.

I wonder if women who label themselves as FFA are treated with the same scorn by BHM - or is that just a different issue
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:13 PM   #33
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I agree with this- it removes some doubt.. Also it's not so much the "label"- but, the person in the end.

I wonder if women who label themselves as FFA are treated with the same scorn by BHM - or is that just a different issue

Yeah, not so much the label but just knowing up front and then you can go from there
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:14 PM   #34
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I personally prefer to be with someone who actually labels themselves as an FA.

I have been with the "I dated a fat woman before and it wasn't an issue with her" or "I can look past the fact that I don't really like that you are fat because I like you" etc. dudes before.

In my experience, something always comes out about the fat dislike in the end. Health, sexual turn-off, societal pressure, you name it.

Do I want to be loved and admired for my heart, mind and character? Yes! It's a requirement to be with me but boy howdy, to have all that and have him say and show how much he loves my body... my FAT body! Woo
There's the reply of some healthy self-esteem right there! It's great to know what you want, and to want someone who unapologetically, plainly, knows what they want. It's sad when a man has to play that politically-correct game of "Pick Something Besides Her Body" when the woman asks: "So what do you like about me?"
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:22 PM   #35
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There's the reply of some healthy self-esteem right there! It's great to know what you want, and to want someone who unapologetically, plainly, knows what they want. It's sad when a man has to play that politically-correct game of "Pick Something Besides Her Body" when the woman asks: "So what do you like about me?"
It's good to see a "healthy reply" and what you have in this discussion is views from all sides and not every solution is going to be a "cookie cutter" approach- some women may not like a "blunt" response other do
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Old 06-18-2013, 10:23 AM   #36
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I personally prefer to be with someone who actually labels themselves as an FA.

I have been with the "I dated a fat woman before and it wasn't an issue with her" or "I can look past the fact that I don't really like that you are fat because I like you" etc. dudes before.

In my experience, something always comes out about the fat dislike in the end. Health, sexual turn-off, societal pressure, you name it.

Do I want to be loved and admired for my heart, mind and character? Yes! It's a requirement to be with me but boy howdy, to have all that and have him say and show how much he loves my body... my FAT body! Woo
Thank you very much for your statement.
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Old 06-18-2013, 11:08 AM   #37
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Thank you very much for your statement.
you're welcome and thank you for your always *happy go lucky* outlook on these type of things.

people may have to "weed" a bit to find the right person (just like anyone does) but for the most part, it's a joyous combo!
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Old 06-18-2013, 04:53 PM   #38
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wanting someone with the label is okay if that is what works for you , but then again you leave out all of the guys who are just as passionate about fat women but don't like the label.
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Old 06-18-2013, 05:06 PM   #39
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wanting someone with the label is okay if that is what works for you , but then again you leave out all of the guys who are just as passionate about fat women but don't like the label.
Might not matter if the person is happy with their choice in life and it works for them.
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Old 06-18-2013, 05:52 PM   #40
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yes, assuming it is working for someone. people for whom it is not working for may need to try something else. and, evidently as the op and others have said on this thread it may not working for them personally. IMO spending too much time on places with a whole lot of married or single forever types is a waste of time for young women who want families etc... and are single. if you're not really looking and you just want to talk and socialize it is fine.

men who like fat women passionately are everywhere and not just around where they can look at them. they are there to be a part of their lives as well. sure sexual attraction is wonderful. at some point it may be a novelty to be the subject of it. but once you've had a lot of attention you learn there is a lot more to your personal happiness than someone thinking you're hot. it's only a part of it and not all of it. i think the op and some of the other women here are just going through the same phases that a lot of women here have already. initially it might be new to them but then when they've had enough of that and started to look for substance that is where the rubber really meets the road re: whether someone is satisfying to them in a relationship.
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Old 06-18-2013, 06:14 PM   #41
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I really do not see the difference between someone calling themselves an FA or just saying "I love fat women" or "prefer a fat partner". To me, it's all the same. Perhaps some just have never heard the term or perhaps they do not like it (for whatever reason) but again, still the same to me.

So when I say I prefer someone who is an FA... I mean all of the above.

I don't really call myself a BBW (I use the word fat) but if someone else does, I do not really mind.
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Old 06-18-2013, 06:29 PM   #42
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no. you may not see the difference but there are some who do. there are some interesting threads where some guys themselves have elaborated on the differences to them as well. it's an interesting read.
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Old 06-18-2013, 06:30 PM   #43
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maybe I should just let ignorance be bliss haha


Just to add though, the FA board does have a "myths and misconceptions" topic. It seems the term can be varied depending on the person.

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Old 06-18-2013, 07:31 PM   #44
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I personally prefer to be with someone who actually labels themselves as an FA.

I have been with the "I dated a fat woman before and it wasn't an issue with her" or "I can look past the fact that I don't really like that you are fat because I like you" etc. dudes before.

In my experience, something always comes out about the fat dislike in the end. Health, sexual turn-off, societal pressure, you name it.

Do I want to be loved and admired for my heart, mind and character? Yes! It's a requirement to be with me but boy howdy, to have all that and have him say and show how much he loves my body... my FAT body! Woo
Couldn't have said it better myself (though I'm a guy I appreciate the sentiment completely).
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Old 06-19-2013, 02:26 AM   #45
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(I'm not sure if this is the correct forum? I apologize if not)

I am wondering what kind of relationship/emotional issues people have faced either being an FA or dating one?

I'm 29, almost 30, and have only dated "regular" guys all of my life up until about 8 months or so ago when I found this world of "FA's" which I honestly never knew existed!

But, in all honesty, I feel like I was valued more as a whole person when I was out just finding 'regular' guys to date. Which seems ironic, no?

Has anyone experienced this? It feels as though there almost seems to be a block between the emotional connection and the physical connection with an FA. Almost like in an objectified way... I don't know if this comes from men looking at bigger girls mostly in porn so that's the connection they make?

I know that an experience with a few is not necessarily representative of the entire group- but it has just been my experience so far, and it's (perhaps naively) not what I would have expected. ?? Am I alone here?


i also would say that this phenomenom is the same thing as skinnier girls have with their admirers!

i believe, out of the man-view , you have to look for someone who like/loves you and your body and not for someone who's only fixed on satisfy his fat-fetish! because i believe, as an FA, there are too many who have a kind of HARDCORE-fetish to a big female body only focusing on belly and fatrolls!

but a womens' nose should detect those quickly!!!?
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Old 06-19-2013, 11:43 AM   #46
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FA ISO SSBBW

These abbreviations were a standard line in printed ads, times before the age of the internet. 10 letters, the prize for each letter was maybe 50 cents.

FA ISO SSBBW is short for: I love fat women and I'm in search for a supersized big beautiful woman.
This sentence has 57 letters and costs nothing - online and nowadays. Perhaps, the purpose of the FA / BBW terms was to save money.
Possibly we are arguing over something which is past; these FA and BBW terms.
But, as an older guy, I think I still have the right to label myself as an FA.
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Old 06-19-2013, 12:02 PM   #47
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Originally Posted by Blockierer View Post
FA ISO SSBBW

These abbreviations were a standard line in printed ads, times before the age of the internet. 10 letters, the prize for each letter was maybe 50 cents.

FA ISO SSBBW is short for: I love fat women and I'm in search for a supersized big beautiful woman.
This sentence has 57 letters and costs nothing - online and nowadays. Perhaps, the purpose of the FA / BBW terms was to save money.
Possibly we are arguing over something which is past; these FA and BBW terms.
But, as an older guy, I think I still have the right to label myself as an FA.
Short sweet and to the point- leaves no doubt as to what you like and what your potential mate will like.
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Old 06-20-2013, 04:59 PM   #48
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Originally Posted by Blockierer View Post
FA ISO SSBBW

These abbreviations were a standard line in printed ads, times before the age of the internet. 10 letters, the prize for each letter was maybe 50 cents.

FA ISO SSBBW is short for: I love fat women and I'm in search for a supersized big beautiful woman.
This sentence has 57 letters and costs nothing - online and nowadays. Perhaps, the purpose of the FA / BBW terms was to save money.
Possibly we are arguing over something which is past; these FA and BBW terms.
But, as an older guy, I think I still have the right to label myself as an FA.
of course you have every right to call yourself anything you like. but at the same time don't get upset if you get confused with a lot of the people who are just around to frequent sex sites and get their rocks off. after all the op is concerned about actually meeting someone for a relationship. a sex site is not exactly the place to meet the kind of compassionate male she is talking about on the whole. look at the paysite numbers. then look at the rest of the forum numbers that aren't the weight gain or fat sexuality forums. that should tell her everything she needs to know. it's not that much of a just talk to and get to know people kind of a place for most of the folks who come here.

even if someone is a nice guy he might not be on his best behavior in such conditions. it's like going to the playboy mansion and expecting people to act all deep serious and understanding over there. the lions share of guys are just not going to behave that way in that environment. trying to pretend like they will is just making a joke out of everyone's common sense.
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Old 06-20-2013, 05:00 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by Danniel.Vincent View Post
i also would say that this phenomenom is the same thing as skinnier girls have with their admirers!

i believe, out of the man-view , you have to look for someone who like/loves you and your body and not for someone who's only fixed on satisfy his fat-fetish! because i believe, as an FA, there are too many who have a kind of HARDCORE-fetish to a big female body only focusing on belly and fatrolls!

but a womens' nose should detect those quickly!!!?
most definitely, except there are also guys who are adept at keeping some things under wraps because they already know some fat women just won't go for it. and just like the other admirers of women of different sizes they will feign afffection love devotion or anything else to be able to get their hands on someone they are really only just hot for.
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Last edited by superodalisque; 06-20-2013 at 05:05 PM.
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Old 06-20-2013, 05:04 PM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
of course you have every right to call yourself anything you like. but at the same time don't get upset if you get confused with a lot of the people who are just around to frequent sex sites and get their rocks off. after all the op is concerned about actually meeting someone for a relationship. a sex site is not exactly the place to meet the kind of compassionate male she is talking about on the whole. look at the paysite numbers. then look at the rest of the forum numbers that aren't the weight gain or fat sexuality forums. that should tell her everything she needs to know.

even if someone is a nice guy he might not be on his best behavior in such conditions. it's like going to the playboy mansion and expecting people to act all deep serious and understanding over there. the lions share of guys are just not going to behave that way in that environment. trying to pretend like they will is just making a joke out of everyone's common sense.
The sexism in this post boggles my mind.
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