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Old 04-12-2013, 04:48 PM   #1
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Default College Sex, Numbers and You

i was recently reading an interesting article about sex on college campuses and it led me to think about what the reality was for fat folk by comparison to the general population. i have heard a lot of moaning about the lack of sex from young fat folk and the people attracted to them, but are they realistic in their assumptions when it comes to how their sex life does not stack up against their thin counterparts? i think when you're in your early twenties it's easy to assume that there is whole lot more sex going on around you than there really is. it's not until you're older that you realize just how much of it was only talk and how very clueless your in the know friends really were. are fat college students assuming that their sex life is so much worse than thin college students? are they right or wrong about their assumptions? what do you think? here is the snippet of the article that started my mind down this road.


Abstinence Is Not the Radical Solution to Hookup Culture
By Amanda Hess | Posted Monday, April 1, 2013, at 4:33 PM

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor...about_sex.html

If only young people’s problems could be solved by getting a significant other (or, presumably, a masturbatory aid). First of all, students on college campuses aren’t actually hooking up that much. Sociological Images’ Lisa Wade, who has researched hookup culture extensively, has found that “between two thirds and three quarters of students hook up at some point during college.” Since the term “hookup” can include everything from just kissing (where around 32 percent of college hookups end) to intercourse (40 percent of hookups), that means only that college students are engaging in as little as one makeout every four years. One study found that among students who did hook up in college, 40 percent did it three or fewer times total (less than one hookup a year); 40 percent did it between four and nine times (one to two hookups a year); and 20 percent did it ten or more times. Less than 15 percent of college students are engaging in some form of physical contact more than twice a year. It’s unlikely that the solution is for students to have even less casual sex.


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Old 04-12-2013, 05:16 PM   #2
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i was recently reading an interesting article about sex on college campuses and it led me to think about what the reality was for fat folk by comparison to the general population. i have heard a lot of moaning about the lack of sex from young fat folk and the people attracted to them, but are they realistic in their assumptions when it comes to how their sex life does not stack up against their thin counterparts? i think when you're in your early twenties it's easy to assume that there is whole lot more sex going on around you than there really is. it's not until you're older that you realize just how much of it was only talk and how very clueless your in the know friends really were. are fat college students assuming that their sex life is so much worse than thin college students? are they right or wrong about their assumptions? what do you think? here is the snippet of the article that started my mind down this road.


Abstinence Is Not the Radical Solution to Hookup Culture
By Amanda Hess | Posted Monday, April 1, 2013, at 4:33 PM

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor...about_sex.html

If only young people’s problems could be solved by getting a significant other (or, presumably, a masturbatory aid). First of all, students on college campuses aren’t actually hooking up that much. Sociological Images’ Lisa Wade, who has researched hookup culture extensively, has found that “between two thirds and three quarters of students hook up at some point during college.” Since the term “hookup” can include everything from just kissing (where around 32 percent of college hookups end) to intercourse (40 percent of hookups), that means only that college students are engaging in as little as one makeout every four years. One study found that among students who did hook up in college, 40 percent did it three or fewer times total (less than one hookup a year); 40 percent did it between four and nine times (one to two hookups a year); and 20 percent did it ten or more times. Less than 15 percent of college students are engaging in some form of physical contact more than twice a year. It’s unlikely that the solution is for students to have even less casual sex.


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Your numbers seem quite low. Back in the early 80s even the dorkiest kid on my dorm floor hooked up more than three times during the school year.
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Old 04-12-2013, 05:21 PM   #3
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i think when you're in your early twenties it's easy to assume that there is whole lot more sex going on around you than there really is.
When I was in college, I assumed my roommate was getting it because he spent every weekend in his hometown with his girlfriend. He assumed I was getting it because I spent every weekend on campus where all the coeds were. We were both wrong.
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Old 04-12-2013, 05:57 PM   #4
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Your numbers seem quite low. Back in the early 80s even the dorkiest kid on my dorm floor hooked up more than three times during the school year.
wow that's like comparing when we grew up in the 80's to the 50's. things are a whole lot different now. they told you that they were having sex or tried to give that impression but did you actually see them do it? i hope you don't actually believe absolutely everything you were told way back then. guys especially were very inexperienced and the other guys would never know how little experience they actually had because they always puffed around other guys. only the girls actually knew exactly what was going on, especially in retrospect.

also that was a time when AIDS etc... wasn't as scary to heterosexuals. people thought it was a gay disease. it was really messed up what it did mentally to young gay people though. it was also a time before porn was as easily accessible to really young kids the way it is today. that has had a net negative effect on people's healthy sex drive. facebook and social networking did not exist-- so no threat of being abused and shamed as much out in public for your sexual experiences. there were no surreptitious cell phone pix etc.... the few cell phones that did exist were about the size and shape of a brick cost about a thousand dollars and were usually connected to your car -- no one was going to miss that. they definite did not have cameras on them. the world is a whole lot different than it was when we were in college or high school. young folk have a lot more to contend with. looks like they are probably handling it better than the people in our generation would have. seems like they are doing a whole lot more looking before they leap. i can't say that so much about our contemporaries.
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Old 04-12-2013, 06:00 PM   #5
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When I was in college, I assumed my roommate was getting it because he spent every weekend in his hometown with his girlfriend. He assumed I was getting it because I spent every weekend on campus where all the coeds were. We were both wrong.
yes, i think it is very easy to imagine that more is going on than really is.
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Old 04-12-2013, 06:14 PM   #6
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... young folk have a lot more to contend with. looks like they are probably handling it better than the people in our generation would have. seems like they are doing a whole lot more looking before they leap. i can't say that so much about our contemporaries.
I'm thinking that this is actually a bad thing. I don't think its the least bit bad for young people to be sexually active. Indeed I'm thinking there would be a lot fewer mean spirited up-tight people in the world if there wasn't so much hand wringing over young people having sex. Sexual frustration is not a good thing.
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Old 04-12-2013, 06:22 PM   #7
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I'm thinking that this is actually a bad thing. I don't think its the least bit bad for young people to be sexually active. Indeed I'm thinking there would be a lot fewer mean spirited up-tight people in the world if there wasn't so much hand wringing over young people having sex. Sexual frustration is not a good thing.
that is actually a really exquisite point. it might have something to do with the high levels of bullying.that may be be especially true in regards to fat folk. all of that frustration over being attracted to a fat person especially could lead to a lot of negativity even aimed at the person desired. when i was in high school and college it's true that there were a whole lot fewer very fat people but every fat girl in my high school except for one had a steady bf and it was about the same in college. i don't know if that was a function of growing up in the south or what.
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Old 04-13-2013, 01:41 AM   #8
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Well I never had a lot of friends at university and we were the geeky crowd but I can share with you what I can gather from talking to and observations of my friends:

- Guy 1: Never had a hookup with anybody during university
- Guy 2: Had a hookup with a girl in the first year and had a steady girlfriend from the start of the second year til the end (he was on a four year course)
- Guy 3: Never had a hookup with anybody during uni
- Guy 4: Never had a hookup with anybody during uni
- Guy 5: Had a steady girlfriend for the first two years of uni and then no hookups after that (again, a four year course)
- Guy 6: Had plenty of hookups, several a year every year at uni (another four year course) as well as having an open relationship with a girl as well
- Girl 1: Had no hookups at uni
- Girl 2: Had plenty of hookups at uni, at least once or twice a month on average for the duration of her course.

Oddly, Guy 6 and Girl 2 never hooked up with each other. You'd have thought, but no. Anyway, I suppose my point is that the number of hookups on average is a poor way of showing what is going on because you tend to have a few people having a lot of sex at uni and most people having very little, or at least that is what I've found.
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Old 04-13-2013, 05:22 AM   #9
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Default Not me!

I think this thread or study referenced is kind of off because I never had sex during college, and this was in the 00s. Yeah, I know.. Like comparing the 00s to the 80s, right? I was always the weird, loner, independent kid.

I was interested in grades, not sex, and left with a GPA 4.0. I also chose a college that was all about courses, no parties or clubs or fraternities.
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Old 04-13-2013, 11:20 AM   #10
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I think this thread or study referenced is kind of off because I never had sex during college, and this was in the 00s. Yeah, I know.. Like comparing the 00s to the 80s, right? I was always the weird, loner, independent kid.

I was interested in grades, not sex, and left with a GPA 4.0. I also chose a college that was all about courses, no parties or clubs or fraternities.

Connection between sexual frustration and punitive attitude toward women? (See Hyde Park posts.)
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Old 04-13-2013, 03:16 PM   #11
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I think this thread or study referenced is kind of off because I never had sex during college, and this was in the 00s. Yeah, I know.. Like comparing the 00s to the 80s, right? I was always the weird, loner, independent kid.

I was interested in grades, not sex, and left with a GPA 4.0. I also chose a college that was all about courses, no parties or clubs or fraternities.
Aren't you special. . .

I think the numbers seem low, least in my experience.
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Old 04-13-2013, 08:17 PM   #12
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...i have heard a lot of moaning about the lack of sex from young fat folk and the people attracted to them, but are they realistic in their assumptions when it comes to how their sex life does not stack up against their thin counterparts? i think when you're in your early twenties it's easy to assume that there is whole lot more sex going on around you than there really is. it's not until you're older that you realize just how much of it was only talk and how very clueless your in the know friends really were. are fat college students assuming that their sex life is so much worse than thin college students?...
That's one question I can't really answer because in college whatever fat young female coeds I knew, and heaven knows there were few enough, they did get sex. I tried to see to that personally.

But seriously, yes, I think all the talk does lead young people to believe there is a lot more going on than actually happens. And I also think that pretty much whatever group one belongs to, it always feels like "the others" get a lot more.

As for eras and their respective views on sexuality, I recall that in my college days in the 70s, we all felt we had missed out on all the sex and love of the 60s. I think it's just a matter of the grass always seeming greener elsewhere, pretty much no matter what era one grows up in.
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Old 04-14-2013, 07:43 AM   #13
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As for eras and their respective views on sexuality, I recall that in my college days in the 70s, we all felt we had missed out on all the sex and love of the 60s.
And you were absolutely right! The sixties were a golden age: after The Pill, but before AIDS. And I was young, single, and living in New York City...
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Old 04-14-2013, 08:39 AM   #14
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And you were absolutely right! The sixties were a golden age: after The Pill, but before AIDS. And I was young, single, and living in New York City...
and even that must have not been all it was cracked up to be since the next swing went totally in the opposite direction toward the sexual conservatism traditionalism and conventionality of the eighties. people got married, moved to the burbs and had babies in droves. in general the public often seems to replace one group think for another.
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Old 04-14-2013, 08:56 AM   #15
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and even that must have not been all it was cracked up to be since the next swing went totally in the opposite direction toward the sexual conservatism traditionalism and conventionality of the eighties. people got married, moved to the burbs and had babies in droves. in general the public often seems to replace one group think for another.

Actually Reagan's America was a period of family breakdown. Marriage rates and the rate of family formation have been in decline since the early 70s. The decline of the American family perfectly tracks the decline of family wage jobs. Reagan's policies destroyed the ability of many Americans to support their families. Like much of Reagan's so called legacy the purported reemergence of "the family" was a lie.
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Old 04-14-2013, 09:16 AM   #16
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Actually Reagan's America was a period of family breakdown. Marriage rates and the rate of family formation have been in decline since the early 70s. The decline of the American family perfectly tracks the decline of family wage jobs. Reagan's policies destroyed the ability of many Americans to support their families. Like much of Reagan's so called legacy the purported reemergence of "the family" was a lie.
that is certainly true but pop culture social directives focused on marriage children and family and was held out as the image of perfection. dropping out and tuning in was no longer fashionable or a sign of social status. in the 70s and early 80s baby boomers went domestic in a big way and there as a record number of marriages after realizing that free love wasn't exactly as free as it was made out to be. so,there was a numerically definable backlash. it true that there was more divorce etc... but what i was getting at was that the ideal had returned to a 1950s idea of family that most young adults took a stab at even though it was unsustainable. being able to maintain traditionalism is a whole lot different than the social motivation towards it.
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Old 04-14-2013, 03:03 PM   #17
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Actually Reagan's America was a period of family breakdown. Marriage rates and the rate of family formation have been in decline since the early 70s. The decline of the American family perfectly tracks the decline of family wage jobs. Reagan's policies destroyed the ability of many Americans to support their families. Like much of Reagan's so called legacy the purported reemergence of "the family" was a lie.
Got something against Reagan? Hyde Park spillover? Agendafied?

In a discussion about sex, or, in my case, lack thereof by choice?

Anyways, back on topic. It could be said that, for most, perhaps college really is an extension of high school. Not everyone felt the need to lose virginity at age early teens, I'm sure. Kinda goes along with the teen smoking thing.. College sex I am sure is maybe one of the best things for a normal collegiate's world. I am sure that if I was 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24 or thereabouts, and involved with a sexy or thick BBW woman (even SSBBW!) that it would be an experience of conversion for life, if they liked it. Man/man and woman/woman would also fit in this camp. And that's fine. God made many different flowers.

It has been established that I did not have perhaps the most normal of college experiences that, say, someone across the street from where I attended would have (Rutgers.) But, as another saying from before my time says, since I am an 80s baby, take pot shots at Reagan but was he personally responsible for my birth? I was conceived in 81, and the rain falls on the evil and the good.. "Diff'rent strokes for different folks."

Discuss, and agendafy. Use advanced vocabulary that makes me have to re-read posts that SHOULD be simple.

Also, if you feel so compelled, direct me towards some credible anti-Reagan books. I like to look at the books and information presented, look at the retorts from the polar opposite stance (in this case, pro-Reagan, since I agree that he is somewhat idolized, and his birthday celebrated posthumously) and then compare the two, to make up my mind about what I feel is right, or the correct view. Now if only everyone would do that.

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Old 04-14-2013, 03:29 PM   #18
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in general the public often seems to replace one group think for another.
It almost seems built into our social model, doesn't it? The Baby Boomers who grew up in the conforming, security-conscious fifties were a freewheeling lot. They were followed by Generation X, whose values seemed more similar to those of their grandparents. Generation Y, in turn, was likelier to push the envelope, like the Boomers. Maybe kids just tend to reject their parents' values and identify with their grandparents?
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Old 04-14-2013, 05:22 PM   #19
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It almost seems built into our social model, doesn't it? The Baby Boomers who grew up in the conforming, security-conscious fifties were a freewheeling lot. They were followed by Generation X, whose values seemed more similar to those of their grandparents. Generation Y, in turn, was likelier to push the envelope, like the Boomers. Maybe kids just tend to reject their parents' values and identify with their grandparents?
Yes, or put another way it's often the pendulum effect at work. I do think it's very common to reject the lifestyles our parents had as a part of becoming self actualized adults, but then human behavior tends to swing from one extreme to another, as well. If you add in the fact that societies make some dramatic changes from one decade to the next, it doesn't seem so strange that social behavior would change along with it. Every generation comes of age in a significantly different world than the previous generation did. They respond to what's happening in the present and what they believe the future will look like instead of adopting all the same values that another place and time instilled in their parents.
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Old 04-14-2013, 07:00 PM   #20
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Got something against Reagan? Hyde Park spillover? Agendafied?

In a discussion about sex, or, in my case, lack thereof by choice?

...

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Oh yes I have something against Reagan. And the idea of lack of sex by choice just doesn't compute.

I'll get you links to Reagan's true legacy latter this week. My wife just put the kids to bed so its time to get busy.
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Old 04-15-2013, 01:23 AM   #21
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Yes, or put another way it's often the pendulum effect at work. I do think it's very common to reject the lifestyles our parents had as a part of becoming self actualized adults, but then human behavior tends to swing from one extreme to another, as well. If you add in the fact that societies make some dramatic changes from one decade to the next, it doesn't seem so strange that social behavior would change along with it. Every generation comes of age in a significantly different world than the previous generation did. They respond to what's happening in the present and what they believe the future will look like instead of adopting all the same values that another place and time instilled in their parents.
For what little it's worth, that's really only been true since the turn of the First Millenium. Before that, on the whole, things didn't change much at all (in the Western world). There would be wars, and kings would come and go, but essentially, things worked pretty much the same way, generation after generation.

Still, even the ancient Greeks wrote complaints about how disrespectful and ill-behaved kids were these (those) days.

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Old 04-15-2013, 07:38 AM   #22
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well actually that particular pendulum swung back and forth within the same generation. boomers were sexually conservative liberal and the back to conservative again. who knows what's next? i don't think any generation is all that different as they explore as a group their own identity. first one idea and then another. only the rotation may change.
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Old 04-15-2013, 09:50 AM   #23
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Still, even the ancient Greeks wrote complaints about how disrespectful and ill-behaved kids were these (those) days.
You hear this a lot, and it isn't really true. As a classicist who taught a course on Plato's Republic for several years, I can't let this go uncommented on. Only one Greek wrote about how disrespectful kids were: Plato. And he wasn't even talking about kids in Athens; he was talking about how disrespectful kids (and slaves, and even domestic animals) would be in a liberal democracy, if such a degenrate form of government ever should come into existence (Plato was a rich aristocrat). OK, rant over; the thread can get back on track now.
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Old 04-16-2013, 08:11 PM   #24
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A lot of folks in my class of 10 people in college were ALL hooking up and using various dating sites to achieve it quicker....I couldn't get a date to save me, let alone hookup! Lol I'm forever a bookworm.
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Old 04-16-2013, 09:27 PM   #25
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A lot of folks in my class of 10 people in college were ALL hooking up and using various dating sites to achieve it quicker....I couldn't get a date to save me, let alone hookup! Lol I'm forever a bookworm.
In the immortal words of John Bulushi - "My advice to you is to start drinking heavily."

IRL I'm pretty shy. I was never able to approach a girl without having at least four beers first.
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