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Old 11-13-2014, 03:36 AM   #26
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Being fat is great
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Old 11-13-2014, 07:30 AM   #27
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Not so sure about the hard wired thing. I've been attracted to many women who are not fat and I'm not attracted to all fat women. I believe years of experience plays a part. I've been terribly unsuccessful whenever I tried to court thinner women -- but much more successful with large women. Positive and negative feedback do affect our choices.
I don't think sexuality as a whole can be explained by behaviorism, but I do think it's an underrated facet of it.
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:44 AM   #28
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Personally I think that at birth we have, at most, certain tendencies in what we may end up liking. I think much of the rest comes about during infancy and toddler-hood.

For example, experiments have shown that at a very young age, babies starting preferring faces more similar to the ones they see regularly. This experiment was done in regards to racism, but I think the trend would apply in general to ‘others.’ We learn what normal is, we aren’t born knowing what normal is. Now, whether we are more inclined to become sexually attracted to our normal, or to not-normal, I’d be willing to believe that some of that may be set before birth, as we seem to have certain tendencies by birth that could play into this.

Also, apparently there is a surge in hormone levels around the two to four year old period, from at least one paper I saw. The speculation is that it is during this period that we learn what male and female should look like and establish a lot of the details of our sexuality. Interestingly, by mid-childhood most people don’t really remember much of their life until around four years old (it is apparently something to do with establishing identity, which changes how we store and access memories, or something like that?). So it could be that by the time we really remember much, our sexual identity is heavily set.

I am convinced that our preferences do continue to evolve and focus themselves over time, too, based on our experiences, who we interact with, etc. But I am willing to believe that the broad strokes are laid down pretty well before we start kindergarten.
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Old 11-13-2014, 12:21 PM   #29
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This is gonna sound ridiculous...but I have clear memories of being fascinated in a very strange way as a little kid by the Winnie the Pooh cartoon in which he eats all of rabbit's honey and then can't fit through Rabbit's door. I used to love any sequences where Pooh stuffed himself with honey. And think about how Pooh is portrayed, with his belly protruding from his too-tight shirt. You couldn't have had a more perfectly-tuned child-centred template for what would eventually become my love of BBWs. I also remember an episode of Sesame Street where Cookie Monster eats Mr. Hooper's entire store and ends up massively bloated and groaning from being so stuffed. Again, I responded with that same peculiarly deep fascination, like something shifted somewhere in my mind. I wasn't quite "turned on" - I didn't have the physiological equipment for that yet. But I do remember feeling quite intense and quite strange; something very, very deep in my brain was stirred by these sequences.

Fortunately, this initial fascinated response - I couldn't have been more than 4 or 5 - didn't turn me into a Furry lusting after stuffed animals! No, I see these as moments in which child-centred storytelling did what stories are supposed to do, namely use fictitious characters and situations to safely help the child begin to sort out their world. This includes the erotic world and the opposite sex (think of princesses being "awoken" by a kiss). It's just that, as a nascent FA, my subconscious brain glommed on to different things than most.

This doesn't prove anything about nature v.s. nurture. But it does suggest that the template is fixed very early on.
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Old 11-14-2014, 04:20 AM   #30
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I think it is also interesting to consider that there might be some inherited aspect to FAness. Not saying that there definitely is or that it is definitely hard wired or anything else like that, but it is an interesting thing to consider.

I hardly knew my dad growing up as he worked 14 hours a day and left when I was 10 so I spent very little time with him. It was only as an adult that talking to my mother I realised that although she was always very thin when they were together (around 115 lbs) and blamed her thyroid-induced weight gain on why he didn't like her anymore (she went up to about 140 lbs) that my dad actually prefers bigger women and apparently always has. My mother also prefers 'chunky' men (not fat but definitely not thin either) and my brother only ever had a couple of girlfriends but they were all bigger. My sister has no problem dating bigger guys either, though it isn't her preference.

I know it could be (and probably is in part) to do with the way we were brought up, being siblings. But my mother has always been incredibly fat phobic and shaming, especially of women, so it doesn't seem a likely environment to nurture fat acceptance.

Anyway, this is just my anecdotal experience, not trying to say it proves anything or anything like that. Just think it is an interesting thing to consider.
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Old 11-14-2014, 06:02 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by choudhury View Post
This is gonna sound ridiculous...but I have clear memories of being fascinated in a very strange way as a little kid by the Winnie the Pooh cartoon
I don't think it's ridiculous at all, I have very similar memories of cartoons and books etc. that I saw/read as a kid and being fascinated by them like no other. I do wonder sometimes if we can read anything into the prevalence of these themes in children's stories, or if it's only because we have such vivid memories of them and how they affected us that they appear to have significance.
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Old 11-14-2014, 09:29 AM   #32
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First of all....... what Tad said (as usual )

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I don't think it's ridiculous at all, I have very similar memories of cartoons and books etc. that I saw/read as a kid and being fascinated by them like no other. I do wonder sometimes if we can read anything into the prevalence of these themes in children's stories, or if it's only because we have such vivid memories of them and how they affected us that they appear to have significance.
There is definitely something comforting about fat. I'm sure many people would love to deny this, but it's easily associated with joviality, gentleness, big-heartedness, that sort of thing. Hence the appeal of using chubby characters in children's stories. Lots of characters are fluffy and animal-like for the same kind of reason.

As for me, FFA-ness certainly feels like it was a from-birth thing. Though I can also point to a few things growing up that were pretty formative in that sense. Stories, movies and such. And I had a chubby guy-friend at around age 10 whom I sat next to in class (our seats were assigned). I enjoyed poking him and tickling him. He just looked and felt....nice, in that innocent 10-year-old way. This embarrassed him quite a bit, which endeared him to me even more. So when it came time to stop finding all boys gross, liking the chubby ones was a natural progression that I somehow never even questioned. Bam, FFA-ness!
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Old 11-18-2014, 01:03 PM   #33
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I am hard wired and I am proud of that!!

But even if I wasn't I cannot imagine myself with
any other type of woman. The only ladies I adore
the big and very beautiful women!
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Old 11-21-2014, 03:39 PM   #34
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First of all....... what Tad said (as usual )



There is definitely something comforting about fat. I'm sure many people would love to deny this, but it's easily associated with joviality, gentleness, big-heartedness, that sort of thing. Hence the appeal of using chubby characters in children's stories. Lots of characters are fluffy and animal-like for the same kind of reason.

As for me, FFA-ness certainly feels like it was a from-birth thing. Though I can also point to a few things growing up that were pretty formative in that sense. Stories, movies and such. And I had a chubby guy-friend at around age 10 whom I sat next to in class (our seats were assigned). I enjoyed poking him and tickling him. He just looked and felt....nice, in that innocent 10-year-old way. This embarrassed him quite a bit, which endeared him to me even more. So when it came time to stop finding all boys gross, liking the chubby ones was a natural progression that I somehow never even questioned. Bam, FFA-ness!
One thing is for sure...fat FEELS nice. I'm pretty sure even non-FAs would admit that, if they were honest with themselves, and even if they wouldn't take the next step of considering it erotic (as unfathomable as that is to me, for whom giving my wife a belly rub is the closest I've come to heaven on earth).
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Old 11-22-2014, 03:16 PM   #35
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I've always been of the belief that everyone is perverted, it's a matter of whether we get the opportunity in our lives to explore and experience what makes us happiest by our life experience and if we can choose to make peace with ourselves and our deepest desires (so long as it doesn't involve anything non-consentual with other parties).

Some people (like myself) are very fortunate to know and understand at a young age (and therefore, might be considered "hard wired") what their preferences are and embrace how that carries over to their sexuality. I do believe that some people know naturally that they're gay, an FA, into whatever sexual "kink"/lifestyle/whatever they're into, but I also believe that some people don't have it necessarily available to them as far as personal knowledge goes - upbringing can complicate or even repress personal understanding or maybe even confuse some people into believing (or even hoping) that they're something else.
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Old 12-20-2014, 01:44 AM   #36
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Firstly, I believe it's a hard-wired preference or fetish. the difference between preference or fetish is a matter of definition only. In my case, I'm sure my preference is hard-wired. I've always liked - in a non-sexual sense - chubby or fat people more than thinner ones.
Secondly, It's a matter of training. The more you fantasies about or date fat women the more you will learn how to handle your desire for fat women and the more will your brain trained to be sexually attracted to fat.
At age 17, I read something about men who love fat women, some of them liked them really fat. The idea being such a man myself was fascinating to me. To be honest, the idea itself was arousing to me. That was the start of my fat fantasies. To summarize, I'm high talented by birth and well trained by doing.
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Old 12-28-2014, 04:40 PM   #37
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I felt different around fatties that thin people way before puberty. Definitely hard wired from birth.
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Old 12-31-2014, 05:51 PM   #38
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Hardwired!

For my part, I remember finding the 'concept' of fat very attractive at a very young age (overeating, big belly, fat)....but I actually didn't enjoy the fat on my family members, which was weird to me for a long time. It wasn't until later I realized that for me, the sexual fascination part came BEFORE the social context. My family's fat was blegh because fat = sexy, and granddad is NOT sexy. Fat on strangers was sexy, though!

As a child and young adult I think I was more selfishly interested in enjoying/ understanding my own sexual fascination towards fat. As an adult I started to comprehend the implications of being fat. I started to empathize with heavier people, their lives, etc, through more than just the lens of arousal. I guess the best way to put it is; fat gives me sexual gratification but I admire BHM.
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Old 12-31-2014, 07:28 PM   #39
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It was a specific event for me. When I was 5 years old and still in daycare before kindergarten even. Someone explained to me what fat is, what it looks like in food, on a person, that it is bad for everyone, and thin people look better. Fat was bad.

One of the caretakers at my daycare was a young attractive BBW with very wide hips. It was the 80s so she wore spandex every day. I think I was her favorite kid there because she always seemed to give me lots of attention compared to other kids there. Being 5 years old, I had no social filter and just learning what fat is means I had to point it out. I told her she was fat and she should not be, a few times in a row. She started arguing that she was not fat, and started crying. I saw how much it hurt her saying it. It was also one of my first memories of what I say really effects someone.

And something in my mind snapped. She was fat, but rather than being “bad”, I really liked her. The switch flipped, fat girls are good. Not only was she good, she was attractive. So fat girls are attractive. I noticed she was a bit distant with me after that, so I realized I needed to be nice to fat girls. To me, it was the most obvious life-changing event I have experienced.

Within a few days of that, I was by some guys gawking at a women walking by with large breasts. They made comments to each other about how huge her tits were (she was thin). I noticed that thin girls usually did not have big breasts. Fat girls on the other hand much more often had big breasts. This reconfirmed what I had just learned, fat girls are attractive.

It sounds like a story out of Greek tragedy. I wonder what she would have thought if she knew what happened to me because of it.
Reading everyone else’s stories makes me wonder if my specific event was just the moment I realized I am an FA. Or if I feel differently because it might have been the birth of a fat fetish. I frequently wonder I am just an FA or have a fat fetish. I feel I fall in a grey area rather than just a yes or no answer. This is probably a whole new thread topic.

To me it’s not if I like women or men. It’s I like fat women. It doesn’t feel a preference to me. During sex I am thinking about the fat parts of the womans body but… the whole body is covered with fat. I believe I am not really doing anything different, in bed, than I would with a thin woman (maybe a few more belly caresses, but the FA would have done that to). I focus on the important lady bits because I enjoy them.

The way fetishs are described, it makes it sound like the person isn’t important, only the sexual object is. That is not the case.
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Old 12-31-2014, 08:18 PM   #40
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Hardwired!

For my part, I remember finding the 'concept' of fat very attractive at a very young age (overeating, big belly, fat)....but I actually didn't enjoy the fat on my family members, which was weird to me for a long time. It wasn't until later I realized that for me, the sexual fascination part came BEFORE the social context. My family's fat was blegh because fat = sexy, and granddad is NOT sexy. Fat on strangers was sexy, though!

As a child and young adult I think I was more selfishly interested in enjoying/ understanding my own sexual fascination towards fat. As an adult I started to comprehend the implications of being fat. I started to empathize with heavier people, their lives, etc, through more than just the lens of arousal. I guess the best way to put it is; fat gives me sexual gratification but I admire BHM.
This! All of this.
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Old 12-31-2014, 09:23 PM   #41
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Before even puberty i loved food. I found it sexual and sensual and pure excess pleasure.

Puberty hit and,
1) the only girls at school who had curves, an ass and boobs were the fat girls.
2) because of my own sexual love of food, girls who had clearly indulged in food, i saw as being highly sexual.
3) as a bit of a nerd at school i stayed out of sports and would spend lunch break in the library, where bigger girls would eat their big lunch and we would talk and relate with our love of food, being my first experiences of really trying to attract and date women.

This has eventuality evolved into everything i love about fat. Gaining weight, laziness, food-gasms, loosing control with their overeating, their sex drive, and in other more fetishy ways. X
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Old 01-01-2015, 02:29 AM   #42
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Oh gosh, this may take a while to write.
Well my first dealings with fat was in a video game. Because of my vision problem I always was good at fighting games. Mortal kombat was the game I always played. Yes, mk3 on the sega genesis. There was a character on the game called Sheva. She had this weird, husky voice that almost made her sound like she was horribly constipated. So i asked my cousin if she was fat. I was maybe 8 or so. The next FA experience was in a book. The character in question started off by being skinny and energetic, but through magic was morphed into a huge, fat spider. Now I had never felt of a spider before, and didn't really care. The main word of that passage to me was fat. I wonder how RL Stein would feel if only he knew that one of his books helped to realize a fetish. Another turning point was fourth grade. I have to say there were some marvelous girls there. The biggest one even had rolls of fat on her arms. How I know this? I walked with them to our classes. From then on until a few years ago nothing really eventful happened. So a few years ago I met a girl that was 240 pounds and around 4'11. When she told me her size, I felt a rush of sexual energy and began to tremble rather wildly. At first I didn't know what to make of the trembling. I thought it was something wrong. My teeth chattered as if I was freezing. But I was safely in bed. I had never madturbated before this time, and wouldn't for a long time, and still never do. But the mere mention of her weight would get me going. But her conversations were dull, and we eventually broke up. Still, even with her, I didn't specifically that her fat turns me on. It was only when I was dared to tell my deepest secret that I told my friend that I like fat girls. And the response was that that isn't too bad. So after that I did tell my now exs that I like fat. And I also started gaining too, and am now around 220 pounds. A few weeks ago, I signed up for a site called fantasy feeder. It looked good. It had seemingly cool, fat people. But one experience has driven me away from it. A girl I found there was cool, fat and even nerdy! Just my type right? So I kikd her, and the outcome of that was that in order for me to even speak to her, I had to give her money to pay for her food. I was horrified. It felt just like online girls that make you pay for what you hope to be friendship but turns out the girl uses you for her own sexual gain. I wouldn't have minded being her feeder, although I don't think money is usually that involved. So maybe you guys can change my mind about sites like this. Oh and one more thing about fantasy feeder before I end my rant and send this is that I was pretty much ignored there. They have a message limit for free users, and even their shout box has a character limit.
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Old 01-07-2015, 09:30 AM   #43
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As for my two cents, I can relate to anyone that had curious/ intriguing feelings towards fat characters from childhood. Also, my earliest memories of sketching and drawings were often of very fat boys. I can say that I have always always preferred fat men. I have always been slim, and have never been inclined to gain any weight. Actually, any of my high school boyfriends could tell you that I was repulsed by anyone touching my tummy, or any other regions of the body that store fat, even though I was/ am still, thin. But I do not hate fat/ fat people. I adore heavy men, and have experienced a relationship with a thin man and can confirm that it isn't for me.
I can say that understanding my attractions to bhm is still something of a goal, because I want to understand myself.
I know that not many people will take this next comment seriously. And I get that. However, pondering with an open mind can be exciting. I have been reading a lot about reincarnation and past life stories. I am not saying I believe all of that, only that it is fascinating and interesting. Perhaps on a deeper level, personal preference speaks to our soul personality? Anyway, just a thought. All I know is that I can't find a good reason why I would be attracted to fat men. I can't see nature or nurture arguments that fit my life experience. I see merit in exploring my capacity for open mindedness.
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Old 01-13-2015, 04:16 PM   #44
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I had known for a long time, and for the longest time I thought I was the only one and some sort of freak.

Then I met you fine people and my worries went away, and I was very proud to be able to tell people my preferences if they ever asked (not that they would need to, I only date larger women... they'd have to notice a theme by now :P)
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Old 02-05-2015, 12:44 AM   #45
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I have to believe that we are just who we are and no amount of questioning why we love the fat body is going to find a definitive answer. I have to believe we are just born that way, especially because I personally have no control over it whatsoever. It's just the way I am. NO complaints! How do you feel about this?
Interesting. You know, I'm usually just a lurker on this site and I don't even visit that often these days, to be honest, for a number of reasons, but when I say a post like this, and some of the replies to it, I just knew I needed to add my 2 cents.

I would say this is sort of a complex issue for me, because I am not exclusively attracted to large (or at least chubby or voluptuous) women , but they are my general preference, and I find most fat/plump/full figured/BBW/whatever they want to be called women attractive. And even with the rare thin woman I find attractive, It's always in the back of my mind that they would look even better if they were fat. I honestly don't know where any of this comes from, but I am glad that I feel this way, because If I didn't, I might never have fallen for the wonderful, voluptuous woman who eventually became my wife.

What I do know is that I had an unusual childhood in that I was mostly indifferent to girls until around age 14 or so. Before that time, I never though girls had cooties or anything, and I had girls my age I considered friends, but I didn't really think anything of it. I treated them the same as my male friends really. And even after I did start liking girls, it took me a while to realize that, in general, I liked how the bigger girls my age looked more than their thinner counterparts.

One experience that I do remember very well, however, although I can't remember when it happened, although I guess I couldn't have been older than 11 at the time, occurred when my family went to an airport to pick up a family member. While there, I happened to spot a fairly large BBW who was greeting a man that I assum must have been her husband or boyfriend, who was a rather thin man. They actually made out right next to the terminal for several seconds in front of everyone when that happened.

At the time, I didn't really think much about the social impropriety of the situation, and I didn't really know much of anything about romance at that age, but even my young mind realized that those two individuals had very intense feelings towards each other. And I will admit, I was a little surprised by that fact, because, even though I had never bought into this propaganda myself, even at that young age, I knew that thin girls were the ones that were usually considered "pretty" by my male peers.

And I also remember feeling...something while watching the couple kissing that I didn't really know how to categorize. I'm guessing it was something related to, but not quiet, arousal. But it was deeper than just that. I don't know. I just remember that it hit me on an emotional level at a very young age.

I don't really know what significance I can attach to that event, as it wasn't until years later that I even began feeling anything resembling sexual attraction to the opposite sex in general, much less BBW specifically. But I do remember that moment very well many years into my adulthood. Perhaps it was an "activating event" that helped bring about my FA-ness. Or perhaps it was just an early awakening of an already present, but still dormant at the time, attraction to BBWs. I will probably never know. But I am very certain that event at least shaped the form my FA tendencies took, as I remember having had sympathy towards BBW and their plight in a society that looks down on them as something "less than" beautiful, and how that made me mad at society, long before my physical attraction to BBW began. And that emotional component of my attraction to BBW still remains to this day.

So, all I can say as a conclusion to all of that, after what must be an annoying long post, is, I don't know what causes me to be an FA. Nature? Nurture/my experiences? A combination of the two? I have no idea. I just know that I am glad I am one!
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