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Old 07-24-2013, 07:15 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post

...

Then the guy in Toronto. Brilliant. Don't know if I ever knew a more creative man. He spoke as if he wanted to meet and then.....nothing.

...
This is pretty much the way internet dating goes. People make contact with numerous prospects -- they keep several on the line it see if any pan out -- if one does the easiest thing to do with regard to the other prospects is to just disappear. Just the nature of the game. Modern dating requires a fairly thick skin.
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Old 07-25-2013, 12:55 AM   #52
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You know, I've always liked that your posts are always fleshed out and you explain yourself. It's never a "you're wrong" and that's it. For some reason though, and I understand what you wrote above is your opinion and you're free to have it, I feel like you're being a little dismissive about actual face to face interaction or a little elitist about Internet relationships. As if they're superior to any face to face goings on.

I'm sure that's not your intention, but after the last few posts its just the vibe I get.

Also, what do you mean getting married isn't that big of a deal? I'm just confused by this and didn't quite understand.

Hope you don't think I'm attacking you, just questioning and promoting civil conversation.
Oh, that is nice thing to say, thank you! Ah... maybe you are right. Thank you for pointing that out to me. I don't mean to come off that way but I know very little about starting face to face relationships and I've never met anybody my age who has had a serious relationship start that way (which has more to do with my lack of friends than anything else, I think!). I know that different things work for different people and I guess I am kinda biased because my social anxiety stops real life dating from being an option for me really.

As for getting married not being that a big a deal, you are right, I should have explained that better! I kinda tend to assume that everybody knows what I mean without explaining myself, bad habit I know! I just meant that to me and a lot of my friends marriage isn't some sort of holy grail or goal in life. The goal is to find a person that you love and who loves you and have a wonderful life together. Whether or not you sign a piece of paper to 'prove' that devotion is secondary. I am not saying that marriage itself isn't awesome and desirable and cool beans just that it is an optional way of showing your love for somebody in my opinion rather than a requirement needed to tell the world that you are in love.
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Old 07-25-2013, 05:29 AM   #53
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Originally Posted by loopytheone View Post
Oh, that is nice thing to say, thank you! Ah... maybe you are right. Thank you for pointing that out to me. I don't mean to come off that way but I know very little about starting face to face relationships and I've never met anybody my age who has had a serious relationship start that way (which has more to do with my lack of friends than anything else, I think!). I know that different things work for different people and I guess I am kinda biased because my social anxiety stops real life dating from being an option for me really.

As for getting married not being that a big a deal, you are right, I should have explained that better! I kinda tend to assume that everybody knows what I mean without explaining myself, bad habit I know! I just meant that to me and a lot of my friends marriage isn't some sort of holy grail or goal in life. The goal is to find a person that you love and who loves you and have a wonderful life together. Whether or not you sign a piece of paper to 'prove' that devotion is secondary. I am not saying that marriage itself isn't awesome and desirable and cool beans just that it is an optional way of showing your love for somebody in my opinion rather than a requirement needed to tell the world that you are in love.
Damn these rep limits!

I can definitely relate on the social anxiety issues getting in the way of face-to-face dating. It can be a way more daunting prospect in contrast to meeting people online--where it's considerably easier to learn about the people you meet... before you technically meet them. I've had several online relationships, and although they didn't work out romantically in the end, I still made some great friends; a few of which I still talk to regularly. I can't say that the long distance thing didn't play a part as to why some of those relationships didn't work out, but it doesn't change my opinion of how great the internet can be for finding a like-minded partner, long distance or not. It's just too epic of a resource to ignore, especially when you're on the more introverted side of the spectrum. Or, if you're in my situation, and you live in a place that you don't belong .

As for LDRs in general, I'd say if you're both truly into each other, and that mental chemistry is there, the distance should be nothing more than a relatively trivial, temporary inconvenience. Hell, if nothing else, you could even consider it a test to see how strong your relationship really is; kind of a silver lining to an otherwise shitty situation. I've known couples that honestly lived on near opposite ends of the earth and they made it work, no problem at all. They skyped every night, played online games, and even watched movies together. Thanks to good ol' modern communication technology, you can be thousands of miles away from someone and, in a sense, not even feel like it, as long as you're near an internet source. It certainly beats the days where snail mail and expensive long distance calls were the only options.

I'm also totally with you on the marriage thing, loopy. You need to get the eff out of my head .
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