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Old 06-25-2013, 02:41 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by loopytheone View Post
I have noticed that most BHM prefer slim girls and that most FFA are slim. Which makes sense because most people are on the slimmer side.

I actually once got told by a BHM that if I ever wanted a BHM to be interested in me then I needed to lose 50lbs because no big guys would want to date a fat chick. I was all of 150lbs at that time.
The world has gone mad. He was clearly a fecking toolbox.
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Old 06-25-2013, 02:44 PM   #27
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I actually once got told by a BHM that if I ever wanted a BHM to be interested in me then I needed to lose 50lbs because no big guys would want to date a fat chick. I was all of 150lbs at that time.
Teenagers tend to think that the whole world is like what they have experienced, and everyone is like they and/or their friends are. You'd hope that by the time someone is a man or a woman they'd allow for a little more variance in the world
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Old 06-25-2013, 03:31 PM   #28
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well, so what im getting is that the whole FFA/BHM thing is totally removed from the FA/BBW thing? ugh, this stuff is too complicated! haha I just want a chubby girl with a nice derriere that likes a guy with a little extra weight! why is this so hard to find?? any takers? lol
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Old 06-25-2013, 03:58 PM   #29
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well, so what im getting is that the whole FFA/BHM thing is totally removed from the FA/BBW thing?
I'm only newly arrived here (and have been welcomed easily ) but I think the two are only removed from each other if you feel they are. There's nothing that stops a BHM from being a FA and there's nothing that stops a BBW from being a FFA. Contrary wise, there's nothing that says BBW have to want to date BHM or vice versa.

The labels are just shorthand and really they're meaningless because they only apply if you identify with them. There's plenty of couples out there in the real world who are any combination of sizes who have no idea what those letters mean and they don't care. They just fell for the person they did. Simple as that.
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Old 06-26-2013, 06:50 AM   #30
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well, so what im getting is that the whole FFA/BHM thing is totally removed from the FA/BBW thing? ugh, this stuff is too complicated! haha I just want a chubby girl with a nice derriere that likes a guy with a little extra weight! why is this so hard to find?? any takers? lol
Hold on to what it is you want, it is far more important than any labels or broad generalizations of how people are.

To dive into things a bit more, something that the label "FA" really doesn't catch is that there are, IMO, three main ways you can admire fat:

- on people you are sexually attracted to (what is mostly meant when people say 'FA')

- on people who you aren't sexually attracted to (you just think that many/most people look better with some weight on them, or are just more comfortable with fat people. You may prefer fat friends, for example).

- on yourself (you prefer being fat, like how you look with some weight on you, feel sexier with some chub, or whatever).

You could break all of those down into more sub-categories of size, shape, age, condition, gaining or not, fitness, love of food, etc, etc. As you become more aware of FAs (of either gender) and get to know more of them, a lot of those variations become more apparent, and eventually it becomes clear that really you can't fully categorize things.

BUT the key thing to first keep in mind is that people can have one, two, or all three of those aspects of liking fat, and that knowing they are one of those types tells you nothing about whether they are either of the others. In this way, labels can hide as much as they reveal.

Likewise with any other aspects of being an FA--the fact that someone loves eating and feeling full doesn't mean that they want to gain weight, the fact that someone loves someone being soft and jiggly doesn't mean that they don't want their partner to be in shape, etc.
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Old 06-26-2013, 10:29 AM   #31
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The world has gone mad. He was clearly a fecking toolbox.
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Teenagers tend to think that the whole world is like what they have experienced, and everyone is like they and/or their friends are. You'd hope that by the time someone is a man or a woman they'd allow for a little more variance in the world
He was a douche and I stopped speaking to him shortly afterwards. He was a very insecure in-the-closet type wannabe gainer as well so I guess he was just insecure as a person.

Also, a two years later, I am about 25lbs heavier and with the SSBHM of my dreams so that shows what he knows, eh? =p
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Old 06-27-2013, 12:49 PM   #32
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wtf is this place? The women have dicks, the men have tits and Sassy is actually a sociologist. The world is UPSIDE DOWN!!

HMU ladies. (real ladies)
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Old 06-27-2013, 01:01 PM   #33
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wtf is this place? The women have dicks, the men have tits and Sassy is actually a sociologist. The world is UPSIDE DOWN!!

HMU ladies. (real ladies)
I do believe it's called Heaven.
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Old 06-27-2013, 01:31 PM   #34
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I do believe it's called Heaven.
is this you HMU'ing me?
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Old 06-27-2013, 01:36 PM   #35
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He was a douche and I stopped speaking to him shortly afterwards. He was a very insecure in-the-closet type wannabe gainer as well so I guess he was just insecure as a person.
How do you be a 'wannabe gainer'?

Pretend to eat huge meals but really you're dumping your plate into a potted plant?
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Old 06-27-2013, 01:39 PM   #36
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is this you HMU'ing me?
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(real ladies)


Also..."Is this you hit me upping me" is potentially the best sentence I've ever read. On par with: This gem
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Old 06-28-2013, 04:37 AM   #37
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How do you be a 'wannabe gainer'?

Pretend to eat huge meals but really you're dumping your plate into a potted plant?

there are tons of WANNA BE GAINERS...they like the fantasy talk....but don't actually ACT ON IT....or you see em posting here...they were/are super fit guys that gain 10-20# and feel like they totally LOST CONTROL and OMG I AM SO FAT NOW...and aren't even really chubby

just my very OPINIONATED OPNION from years on this board...carry on
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Old 06-28-2013, 06:03 AM   #38
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wtf is this place?
A place for ants?!
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Old 06-28-2013, 09:35 AM   #39
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How do you be a 'wannabe gainer'?

Pretend to eat huge meals but really you're dumping your plate into a potted plant?
Exactly what HDAngel said! He used to talk about wanting to gain weight and get up to 400lbs and so on and so forth but it soon became apparent that he wasn't really going to actually try and gain weight.

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there are tons of WANNA BE GAINERS...they like the fantasy talk....but don't actually ACT ON IT....or you see em posting here...they were/are super fit guys that gain 10-20# and feel like they totally LOST CONTROL and OMG I AM SO FAT NOW...and aren't even really chubby

just my very OPINIONATED OPNION from years on this board...carry on
Well I can appreciate gaining at any size and any amount of gain and this website is the place for talking about such things. I know what you mean though, some people on here try and act as though gaining 15lbs has drastically altered everything about them.
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Old 06-28-2013, 09:52 AM   #40
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I know what you mean though, some people on here try and act as though gaining 15lbs has drastically altered everything about them.
To be fair though,for some people even gaining and accepting that much is a huge mental shift. If you had always focussed on being cut, had attached a chunk of your status and self-worth to having that 'enviable' body, then choosing to leave that space can be a huge mental step. Basically for anyone to leave that 'zone' where they feel comfortable and safe can be a big mental step.

Mind you, that doesn't always make for anything very interesting for others, and I know I can feel sort of "good for you, if you keep it for a year or two and decide you want to gain more, then come tell us about it."
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Old 06-28-2013, 11:57 AM   #41
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To be fair though,for some people even gaining and accepting that much is a huge mental shift. If you had always focussed on being cut, had attached a chunk of your status and self-worth to having that 'enviable' body, then choosing to leave that space can be a huge mental step. Basically for anyone to leave that 'zone' where they feel comfortable and safe can be a big mental step.

Mind you, that doesn't always make for anything very interesting for others, and I know I can feel sort of "good for you, if you keep it for a year or two and decide you want to gain more, then come tell us about it."
Ah.. I didn't mean to imply it wasn't a big thing for the person themselves. I can understand that if you have always prided yourself on your leanness then changing that is going to be a big mental shift for you. I am actually only around 15lbs heavier than usual at the moment and yet my mental change with regards to myself is very different.
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Old 06-28-2013, 05:23 PM   #42
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there are tons of WANNA BE GAINERS...they like the fantasy talk....but don't actually ACT ON IT....or you see em posting here...they were/are super fit guys that gain 10-20# and feel like they totally LOST CONTROL and OMG I AM SO FAT NOW...and aren't even really chubby

just my very OPINIONATED OPNION from years on this board...carry on
I put on 5lbs my shirts are tight lol im such a fat ass. At work girls bring me donuts now cause im so fat hahah. Girls u wanna chat hit me up im a bhm
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Old 06-28-2013, 05:42 PM   #43
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I put on 5lbs my shirts are tight lol im such a fat ass. At work girls bring me donuts now cause im so fat hahah. Girls u wanna chat hit me up im a bhm
So they just sound like the kind of guy who'll say anything if they think it will help them get into a woman's pants?

"Yeah, I'm a total metalhead. Me and my friends were in a Winger tribute band."

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Old 06-29-2013, 08:21 AM   #44
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I put on 5lbs my shirts are tight lol im such a fat ass. At work girls bring me donuts now cause im so fat hahah. Girls u wanna chat hit me up im a bhm
You notice a difference in a 5lb gain??

I am so soft all over I hardly notice a +- 15lb change
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Old 06-29-2013, 09:49 AM   #45
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I agree with what others have said - much as I am attracted to fat men, I'm naturally quite small and happy that way. It is the contrast that adds to the attraction.

My gripe would be that it seems pretty common for BHMs to prefer BBWs, which leaves us slim FFAs feeling like we have no chance.
I prefer slim FFAs and I adore the size difference
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Old 06-29-2013, 10:08 AM   #46
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The labels are just shorthand and really they're meaningless because they only apply if you identify with them. There's plenty of couples out there in the real world who are any combination of sizes who have no idea what those letters mean and they don't care. They just fell for the person they did. Simple as that.
There's really nothing else to be said. Stop focusing on labels.
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Old 06-29-2013, 12:13 PM   #47
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If you are surprised to hear about the existence of FFA's, hopefully, your discovery of DIMS will disabuse you of the idea that all women in the world are attracted to the same slender, perfectly chiseled male form. He has his merits, sure - I'll enjoy looking at a calendar of hunks any day - but for a certain segment of the female population, hunks are simply not enough.

Its kind of like that hammer and bell game you see at state fairs and carnivals, called High Striker. For an FFA, the blow that sounds the bell is the fat guy. Another type of striker.

If it were true that all women are attracted to only slim men, we would be living in some scary sci-fi world where half the human race is robotically programmed or something. Bu the thing is, even if that were true, there would still be so much diversity of preference among women for all sorts of physical qualities in men that you could bet that almost no two women would be turned on by the same exact "type" of man. Dark haired, blondes, hairy chest, no hairy chest, facial hair, no facial hair, tall, medium, short, shoulders, arms, heavily built, freckled, white, black, Asian - you get the idea. And we haven't even gotten to preferences women have for attributes men possess below the belt.

It's been my observation that, when my girlfriends have brought their boyfriends around or have gotten married, their guy would be the last on my list to date. For whatever reason, their choice is just not my type. And when I've brought my boyfriends around or showed pictures of him, they wonder what on earth I see in him. And it is not because hes heavy - I'm talking about average sized men I've dated. They've let me know he would be last on their list. The sheer complexity of male-female attraction is bewildering, and definitely worth drinking to. But nobody should get offended. All of this is just human nature.

Now, I personally think that FFA's are a lucky bunch of people. We get to enjoy men for all the qualities I mentioned above, and FFAs have the size and weight factor that turns us on to no end. (That was a short list, and it was just a list of PHYSICAL attributes; theres plenty more things that attract women to men than just what a guy happens to look like.)

Im also an FFA who is slim and petite, and I have always liked the inherent size difference with a big guy, something that a lot of FAs also enjoy with BBWs. Its been speculated that there are more FAs in the general population than FFAs. Id be interested to know if thats true.
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Old 06-29-2013, 12:27 PM   #48
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I have to admit, every time I see FFA, I don't think fat admiration. The first thing that pops into my head is Future Farmers of America.

Wonder what that means sub-consciously? There's something for the armchair pop-psychologists to chew on!
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Old 06-29-2013, 12:34 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by LeoGibson View Post
I have to admit, every time I see FFA, I don't think fat admiration. The first thing that pops into my head is Future Farmers of America.

Wonder what that means sub-consciously? There's something for the armchair pop-psychologists to chew on!
That you like farming?
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Old 06-29-2013, 12:36 PM   #50
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Originally Posted by Donnybrook View Post

It's been my observation that, when my girlfriends have brought their boyfriends around or have gotten married, their guy would be the last on my list to date. For whatever reason, their choice is just not my type. And when I've brought my boyfriends around or showed pictures of him, they wonder what on earth I see in him. And it is not because hes heavy - I'm talking about average sized men I've dated. They've let me know he would be last on their list. The sheer complexity of male-female attraction is bewildering, and definitely worth drinking to. But nobody should get offended. All of this is just human nature.

Now, I personally think that FFA's are a lucky bunch of people. We get to enjoy men for all the qualities I mentioned above, and FFAs have the size and weight factor that turns us on to no end. (That was a short list, and it was just a list of PHYSICAL attributes; theres plenty more things that attract women to men than just what a guy happens to look like.)

Im also an FFA who is slim and petite, and I have always liked the inherent size difference with a big guy, something that a lot of FAs also enjoy with BBWs. Its been speculated that there are more FAs in the general population than FFAs. Id be interested to know if thats true.
You know, for the first part, I have to wonder how much of that is situational. As in...from the very first moment you meet them, you KNOW they're taken. Most would never consider the SO of a friend to be an option. Sure there's the forbidden fruit syndrome, but if you don't know much about the person...I think it'd be more likely to just never see them in a romantic/sexual light. Plus, as you said, they're likely to not be your type anyway.

I'm curious as to your last question as well. As for open FFAs, there certainly appears to be less. But I think there's a number of factors, which I will list mainly to indulge myself in bullet points again.
  • Perhaps women are more swayed and deterred by social pressure. Therefore, they just suppress or hide their preferences.
  • Or maybe women are just less inclined to make a big deal about it. They prefer big guys and that's that. No need to highlight it. So when people try to guestimate the number of FFAs, they're only focusing on ones who made a bigger deal of it
  • Fetish-level attraction vs. preference level attraction. I have read that women are less prone to paraphilias/fetishes. So women who fixate on fat/food, are feeders, etc...may just be less common altogether.
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