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Old 06-29-2013, 03:55 PM   #1
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Default Breathtaking Woman!

So I just had to vent that I saw this... a beautiful red-headed BBW-SSBBW out and about in the Roseville, CA area... WITH the most EXTREME pear-shape I have ever seen!

What's awesome was she was totally flaunting it- what wasn't awesome was the loser looking guy she was with... ANYWAYS.

Had to vent. Wish I could have taken a picture, but that'd totally been creeper status and besides, my fiance likely wouldn't have been too happy lol.

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Old 06-29-2013, 06:08 PM   #2
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I'm pretty sure that the woman wouldn't be too happy either, being used as masturbatory material for a stranger who objectifies her without her consent and insults someone she cares for.
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Old 06-29-2013, 08:25 PM   #3
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Old 06-30-2013, 09:35 AM   #4
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Women don't exist just as mastubatory material for men. You wonder why women (fat, thin, in-between) are suspicious of men who approach them. This kind of stuff is why.
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Old 06-30-2013, 08:10 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Diana_Prince245 View Post
Women don't exist just as mastubatory material for men. You wonder why women (fat, thin, in-between) are suspicious of men who approach them. This kind of stuff is why.

well- it's nothing that a well timed "flying armbar" can't cure...


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Old 07-01-2013, 04:41 AM   #6
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there be days when ill see a beautiful woman with such a lovely body, i too get breath takin, though i wont see them again i like to store their beaty in the good ol memory box i call my mind
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Old 07-01-2013, 07:09 AM   #7
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Oh my word! With the exception of the OP saying the person this woman was with was a loser (sorry OP that part is not cool), all he did was admire the lady for being "beautiful".

He didn't say he ran to his car to jack off! He said he wished he could take a pic but didn't.

Some people who are so quick to say.. quit objectifying women and don't say such lewd things, are the very ones who OBJECTIFY women and say LEWD things ALL THE TIME! Funny how it is OK for them but not for others...

At least he is upfront about what he thinks, instead of ACTING like such a shining beacon of gentlemanliness when we all know that's exactly what they are NOT!

There is a saying, "let he who is innocent cast the first stone"... and "for every finger you point, there are three pointing back at you".

The hypocrisy and self righteous attitude that invades this forum are absolutely ridiculous!
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Old 07-01-2013, 07:27 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by fat9276 View Post
Some people who are so quick to say.. quit objectifying women and don't say such lewd things, are the very ones who OBJECTIFY women and say LEWD things ALL THE TIME! Funny how it is OK for them but not for others...
Pretty sure there's a difference between comments made in a setting where those comments are appreciated or expected (i.e., the paysite board) and are directed towards consenting women; and the objectification of a complete stranger who cannot give consent.

To reward someone for being upfront about non-consensual sexual objectification- and, more than that, for not taking a picture- does little more than perpetuate and encourage this behavior, which is ultimately a form of harassment.

People don't deserve cookies for meeting the lowest standards of decency just because they're honest about not being better than that.
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Old 07-01-2013, 07:29 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by Blackjack View Post
Pretty sure there's a difference between comments made in a setting where those comments are appreciated or expected (i.e., the paysite board) and are directed towards consenting women; and the objectification of a complete stranger who cannot give consent.

To reward someone for being upfront about non-consensual sexual objectification- and, more than that, for not taking a picture- does little more than perpetuate and encourage this behavior, which is ultimately a form of harassment.

People don't deserve cookies for meeting the lowest standards of decency just because they're honest about not being better than that.
I tried to rep this and failed.
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Old 07-01-2013, 04:42 PM   #10
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I see this thread with the potential to go amazing places, especially once SuperO figures out it exists...

It's like dropping a bacon bit into a pool full of piranhas!
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Old 07-01-2013, 05:17 PM   #11
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Pretty sure there's a difference between comments made in a setting where those comments are appreciated or expected (i.e., the paysite board) and are directed towards consenting women; and the objectification of a complete stranger who cannot give consent.

To reward someone for being upfront about non-consensual sexual objectification- and, more than that, for not taking a picture- does little more than perpetuate and encourage this behavior, which is ultimately a form of harassment.

People don't deserve cookies for meeting the lowest standards of decency just because they're honest about not being better than that.

Really? That's interesting because there are people that comment on the fat sexuality board, where women show off their breasts, bum, etc (a place comments are expected and appreciated based on the replies back) and you are very quick to throw up your little face palm pics to them as well, as if your comments to these women are somehow superior. And perhaps worded a bit differently but many people say the same things but you don't fairly go after them.

He only said she was beautiful and pear shaped. He also went on to say that taking her pic would have been a creeper thing to do, so it was taken care of before you went galloping in (unnecessarily). He didn't say sexual things or truly objectify her at all.

So why don't you tell me if you will... how did he sexually objectify her?
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Old 07-02-2013, 03:29 AM   #12
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So why don't you tell me if you will... how did he sexually objectify her?
Sorry for butting into this conversation but he judged her physical appearance to be sexually/aesthetically pleasing without knowing her. Isn't that the definition of objectifying a person? I can't say that I have never done it or that it is necessarily a bad thing but I don't see how you can deny that is what he was doing.
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Old 07-02-2013, 04:39 AM   #13
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Sorry for butting into this conversation but he judged her physical appearance to be sexually/aesthetically pleasing without knowing her. Isn't that the definition of objectifying a person? I can't say that I have never done it or that it is necessarily a bad thing but I don't see how you can deny that is what he was doing.
By saying she was beautiful and pear shaped he is automatically SEXUALLY objectifying her?

If this is the case then we are ALL guilty of doing it every time we compliment anyone on their appearance, whether to their face (you can approach someone to compliment them without their CONSENT or EXPECTANCE of it) or "behind their back" (say, on a public forum) and the issue is, he IS saying it's a bad thing. He is reproaching him about using this woman for his own personal masturbation purposes.

That is judging. Unless the guy states that or Blackjack was personally with him to see him do it, he has no call to say such things.

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Old 07-02-2013, 05:56 AM   #14
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By saying she was beautiful and pear shaped he is automatically SEXUALLY objectifying her?

If this is the case then we are ALL guilty of doing it every time we compliment anyone on their appearance, whether to their face (you can approach someone to compliment them without their CONSENT or EXPECTANCE of it) or "behind their back" (say, on a public forum) and the issue is, he IS saying it's a bad thing. He is reproaching him about using this woman for his own personal masturbation purposes.

That is judging. Unless the guy states that or Blackjack was personally with him to see him do it, he has no call to say such things.
Yes, that was my point. Everybody objectifies each other regardless of whether or not we want to admit it. The only difference is how/whether a person expresses this to other people or not.
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Old 07-02-2013, 06:25 AM   #15
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Yes, that was my point. Everybody objectifies each other regardless of whether or not we want to admit it. The only difference is how/whether a person expresses this to other people or not.
I understand that was your point but what I do not agree is that what he was doing was SEXUAL objectification.

You can objectify a person without it being sexual. He didn't specify that she had a beautiful "rack" or "booty", etc. or that he wanted to have sex with her or was thinking of using her image to pleasure himself.

I could say, for example, that you are a beautiful woman with a lovely hourglass shape, it doesn't mean I think sexually of you and even if I did, if I did not state it and those thoughts were kept private, you have no reason to judge me as such.
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Old 07-02-2013, 08:01 AM   #16
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I understand that was your point but what I do not agree is that what he was doing was SEXUAL objectification.

You can objectify a person without it being sexual. He didn't specify that she had a beautiful "rack" or "booty", etc. or that he wanted to have sex with her or was thinking of using her image to pleasure himself.

I could say, for example, that you are a beautiful woman with a lovely hourglass shape, it doesn't mean I think sexually of you and even if I did, if I did not state it and those thoughts were kept private, you have no reason to judge me as such.
Ah, okay, I see what you mean. Yes, there was nothing sexual about the first post here, you are right.
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Old 07-02-2013, 08:34 AM   #17
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It's on the fat sexuality board. Why would anyone assume it wasn't a sexual objectification?
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Old 07-02-2013, 09:59 AM   #18
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For the same reason(s) we don't call out others (women included) who are blatantly graphic about their sexcapades and what have you, not knowing if they have their spouse, partner, one night stand's, etc permission to post such things.

Which leads me back to my first post on here about hypocritical attitudes. One can't just pick and choose, say "do as I say not as I do" blah blah blah and make a mountain out of a mole hill at one's convenience and not expect it to be viewed as unfair and unreasonable.

It more often happens to people who do not post often, know the rules, are new and the like. Long time members can post the same thing (or worse) and no one says peep.
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Old 07-02-2013, 10:43 AM   #19
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For the same reason(s) we don't call out others (women included) who are blatantly graphic about their sexcapades and what have you, not knowing if they have their spouse, partner, one night stand's, etc permission to post such things.

Which leads me back to my first post on here about hypocritical attitudes. One can't just pick and choose, say "do as I say not as I do" blah blah blah and make a mountain out of a mole hill at one's convenience and not expect it to be viewed as unfair and unreasonable.

It more often happens to people who do not post often, know the rules, are new and the like. Long time members can post the same thing (or worse) and no one says peep.
This is Dimensions, isn't it? Unfair and unreasonable are de rigueur.
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Old 07-02-2013, 01:14 PM   #20
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Really? That's interesting because there are people that comment on the fat sexuality board, where women show off their breasts, bum, etc (a place comments are expected and appreciated based on the replies back) and you are very quick to throw up your little face palm pics to them as well, as if your comments to these women are somehow superior. And perhaps worded a bit differently but many people say the same things but you don't fairly go after them.
Some members are more prone to crossing boundaries and making others uncomfortable. The comments that I make are generally a bit tongue-in-cheek- intentionally over-the-top for the sake of humor at the expense of those who do make such comments sincerely- and I can say likewise for other members who I've come to know over my time here. I do not know if the comments made by members I don't know are legitimately creepy or fall under a sexual version of Poe's Law like my own comments, but based on the prevalence of such comments my default assumption is that they are meant as written.

Quote:
He also went on to say that taking her pic would have been a creeper thing to do, so it was taken care of before you went galloping in (unnecessarily).
But he admitted that he wanted to, and that his motivation to not photograph her- I'll note again, a complete stranger out with someone who's likely her significant other- was because of the negative stigma attached to that act and the response that he would get from his fiancee rather than because it's wrong, invasive, and inherently objectifying the woman.

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It's on the fat sexuality board. Why would anyone assume it wasn't a sexual objectification?
This ^

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Originally Posted by fat9276 View Post
For the same reason(s) we don't call out others (women included) who are blatantly graphic about their sexcapades and what have you, not knowing if they have their spouse, partner, one night stand's, etc permission to post such things.
Discussing the sexual experiences that one has had with a consenting partner are one thing; it's an entirely different matter to discuss the sexual intent one has towards non-consenting parties.

Quote:
Which leads me back to my first post on here about hypocritical attitudes. One can't just pick and choose, say "do as I say not as I do" blah blah blah and make a mountain out of a mole hill at one's convenience and not expect it to be viewed as unfair and unreasonable.
For someone who's going on about hypocrisy, you do seem rather bent on defending someone who sexually objectified a stranger, wanted to harass and objectify her further, and insulted her and her partner... because he's somehow better than the people calling him out on this solely because he admitted to it.

I'll reiterate the point I made upthread- your defense of his post rewards and legitimizes harassment. And to defend it by comparing it to satirically lewd commentary is nothing short of absurdity.
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Old 07-02-2013, 01:35 PM   #21
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So I just had to vent that I saw this... a beautiful red-headed BBW-SSBBW out and about in the Roseville, CA area... WITH the most EXTREME pear-shape I have ever seen!

What's awesome was she was totally flaunting it
- what wasn't awesome was the loser looking guy she was with... ANYWAYS.

Had to vent. Wish I could have taken a picture, but that'd totally been creeper status and besides, my fiance likely wouldn't have been too happy lol.

This is one of those scenarios where... LESS IS MORE note where I have bolded points of the OP's statement in Red above... he should have just stopped there . Better off not saying "too much" the rest of the info was just not necessary...
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Old 07-02-2013, 02:11 PM   #22
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Yeesh. This blew up quickly.

I pretty much agree with fat9276.

But I have to wonder...am I the only female - or seemingly only person generally - who doesn't care about ANY kind of objectification when it's unsaid? So someone sees a woman he doesn't know and thinks something sexual. Maybe he even vents about it to someone.

Is that hurting anyone? Is consent required for a mere THOUGHT?

What compels people to take this so offensively? Finding people attractive - be it aesthetically or sexually - is natural. Being committed to a partner doesn't eliminate this ability. He didn't act on this whatsoever, and hadn't he said it here, no one would be any the worse for it.

And now for the more controversial bit - spoken objectification. So if someone's a creep and infringes on someone's comfort zone and tries to pull anything - I can see how that'd obviously be frowned upon/bad. But what if it's just a comment...meant in a complimentary fashion? What stops someone from taking this in the best possible light? I highly doubt that most men would complain about a random, physically-focused comment from a female. And likewise, if I get a passing comment like that...I take it favorably. It doesn't cost me anything to do this. And in the end, it's a net positive.
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Old 07-02-2013, 02:43 PM   #23
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Blackjack...
He admitted to wanting to take a pic, YOU are the one who said the word masturbate, not him. YOU made an ASSUMPTION.

When I was talking about people discussing their sexual experiences, I was referring to people discussing others... so they have their permission to bring up anything other than themselves about those times? Consenting to have sex is not for certain consenting to having that person talk about them in a public place afterward. Would so and so's wife approve of knowing that her husband talks about how she gives him pleasure to the whole of Dims? Also there are PLENTY of people on here (including women) that come and say "ooo I'd like to do him" and "the boy or girl at the grocery store was so sexy" etc etc and no one (including you) says anything.

If you were consistent in your reprimands and actually used them on the ones that truly deserve it, I doubt I would say anything but you are not.

I also find it VERY hypocritical for you to say it is ok to and to actually sexually objectify a woman you are not in a relationship with (be it physical and/or other, say a pay site model, woman that posts a risqué pic on this board...) just because she says "thank you" after but then to say what this guy said was wrong.

Sorry but in my book, you don't have much credibility to be making such judgments.
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Old 07-02-2013, 02:58 PM   #24
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With regards to how one feels about comments from others re: appearance, just looking at a different angle.....

Maybe it matters how much you are to view other people's comments as judgements, and how much being judged bugs you?

When our son was a baby or toddler, there were an amazing number of elderly ladies (complete strangers) who would tell us that he wasn't dressed warmly enough, shouldn't be given 'x' to chew on when teething, that letting him walk in the mall in a harness was treating him like he was a dog, etc. These comments would really drive my wife crazy, it seemed like to her she had been judged and found wanting, and they would bug her for days (to the point of not wanting to go some places because of the odds of getting comments).

For me it was more like "is this some new data we hadn't considered before? Nope....OK, discard what she said as I'm pretty sure we know our son better than she does, and we already made this decisions based on our best judgement."

But if you look at something like the Myers-Briggs temperment sorter, she's high judging and I'm high perceiving, or if you look at the OCEAN big five personality traits she's score far higher on neuroticism. So I think she is more apt to see judgement in others because it is part of how she sees things, and she is more apt to worry about other's judgements of her. (or maybe I just have a near-bullet-proof inflated male ego?)

i guess my take on it is that we don't know how others will take such comments--even comments not about them but which some people will take to imply a judgement about them*--so anything like that should be said only after due consideration.

* Just look on here, how many women who are not pear shaped have commented that they feel they are regarded as inferior, not because anyone has criticized their figure but because they've seen so much praise of pear shaped women, and they are not that shape?
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Old 07-02-2013, 04:42 PM   #25
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I have always found it curious that when (especially) a man talks about the physical attributes of a woman that he finds attractive, that is
considered "objectifying" the woman. Maybe I don't fully understand what objectifying means, but to me it means dehumanizing her in his mind so that she has the status of object (sex object) and no more. As far as I can tell this concept has been pushed by Feminists since the 60's when I was a young buck.

I just don't get why that would be the assumption. It is true that some people treat other people as objects or worse (whether having to do with sex or not). Men in particular I think are programmed to look at women and see them in terms of physical attractiveness to them. I know I do. It doesn't mean anything demeaning to me however. I'm just evaluating their physical attractiveness. Most have made clear on this site that this attraction is just a starting point and that any long term relationship has to be based on other matching interests/personality. Not many women/people in general want to be long in a relationship where they are treated like an object.

So I say, to anyone who wants to post about (respectfully) some woman they found hot/attractive, I say I enjoy reading these kinds of posts. Isn't that what a Forum titled "Fat Sexuality" is for (among many other things)?
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