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Old 07-09-2013, 07:55 PM   #1
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Default Getting to the bottom of Fat Admiration

Hi there,

Lately, I have been bothered by my attraction to larger women. Not the fact that I have the attraction, but the biological reasoning behind it. Why is it that some men find BBWs attractive while others don't? As far as I know (and please provide links if I'm wrong,) there have been no serious studies on the origin of fat admiration... It's so close to 'normal' heterosexuality that is sort of slips under the radar of serious study, and yet it's different enough from pop culture to be called a fetish. We're left to guess about the condition, if it can even be called a condition at all.

Here's my personal experience on the matter, for you psychology students to analyze. I felt a preference for overweight women FAR before I hit puberty. It started when I was five or six years old! I knew that I was attracted to women but not exactly why, since six year old children generally aren't up to speed on the act of intercourse. Six year olds do know about food, though, so I always associated the women's desirability with eating and becoming large. This just wound up tying in with everything else when I finally did hit puberty, so here I am today, attracted to average to large sized women.

If anybody has anything to add on the matter, please feel free to do so. Did anybody have a similar, or possibly entirely different experience?
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Old 07-10-2013, 07:35 PM   #2
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What is the biological reasoning behind preferring red heads? Or liking feet? Or balloons?

There probably isn't any beyond, random mutation.

Psychologically, I've seen nothing concrete about where fetishes come from. There's not some common incident in someone's childhood that makes everyone who experiences it a [blank] fetishist. In fact, since different people find different aspects of the same fetish appealing, there's probably no common element there.

There is a bit to indicate certain fetishes tend to bleed together; there appears to be a lot of crossover between FAs and inflation fetishes, for example. 'Squashing' seems to be popular among some FA/FFAs, and is, in my opinion, clearly BDSM in nature, as is Feeding.

But my advice is rather than fixate on the why, just enjoy it. Fetishists have a distinct advantage over the 'normals' in that they know exactly what gets them off and how to scratch that itch.
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Old 07-10-2013, 11:37 PM   #3
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I think you'll find that a lot of people will have their sexuality or preferences determined at a young age. From conversations I've had with lots of people, it seems common that this is formed around the age of 6 or so. At least, that's when people started recognising it. Whether it was shoes, domination, fatness, thinness, big boobs, hair, whatever, it doesn't matter. I know I was around 8 when I was having same sex fantasies (which was long before I had hetero fantasies), ten when I was having bondage fantasies. I don't need to question why I had them, they're just part of my sexuality.
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Old 07-11-2013, 06:22 AM   #4
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I know I’ve read, somewhere but I can’t put my finger on where, that apparently a lot of our sexuality gets set between about ages two and four. Apparently in that age range there is a small surge in sex hormones, and some of the wiring in the brain seems to get set. The thing is that most of us really don’t remember clearly much from when we were that young (for example, apparently there was a girl living across the street who I played with all the time when I was three to early four years old, but then they moved. I have zero recollection of this person, at least at any sort of conscious level). I think it is a smart sort of evolutionary trick, some very basic sexual rules get laid down in utero based on genetics and hormones, but then it waits for us to get out there and be interacting with the world to cement the details of what is sexual. It is just that kids have such odd ways of looking at the world, it can be hard to say why some form preferences one way and others different ways (Although I’ve often wondered if many guys liking pear shaped BBW comes from looking up at women from a three year old’s height, with the effects of foreshortening).
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Old 07-12-2013, 04:24 PM   #5
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I'm not sure if I would call it a condition so much as a preference. We all have them and they're all a little different. Some guys like blondes, some like red heads, some like girls of a given ethnicity. Some like skinny, some like fit/athletic. And some of us like big girls. With so many different types of preferences out there, why is it so hard to accept that those of us who like big girls simply have a NATURAL preference.

OP, you raise a good point when you say it's not common enough across mainstream culture for it to be considered a fetish. I don't have a fetish, I have a preference. It took me a while before I recognized this preference and began to live by it, but I became a much happier person when I did.

Don't struggle to understand it, OP. And don't over think it. You have a preference, just like everyone else. So what if your preference does not fit mainstream's mold. Who do you want to make happy: you? or mainstream society?

I've made my choice.
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Old 07-15-2013, 10:35 AM   #6
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Personally, I have given up trying to "get to the bottom of it". I have had this preference for BBWs since I was very young (before puberty). When I was younger I invested a lot of time and mental energy trying to deny my preferences, to conform with my friend's ideals of beauty and sexuality. I have read a lot of psychological "mumbo-jumbo" about why I am attracted to fat women and for me personally it is a load of cr@p. I don't know why. I don't care anymore. It is what it is! Some call it a fetish. I don't agree. I can look at a Rembrandt or Reubens and see beauty. I look at a Picasso and it just doesn't resonate for me. Does that mean I have a Rembrandt or Reubens fetish?
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Old 07-16-2013, 02:19 PM   #7
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The first Playboy I ever saw had Anna Nicole Smith as the centerfold. (I think I was maybe 12) I remember realizing how much bigger she was, in every way, than the other dozens of cookie-cutter models in that issue. She looked so beautiful and soft, I would have given anything just to to hug her. It made me realize that I found bigger, curvier, softer women more attractive.

Fast forward to seeing BBW porn in my 20s and it was all over.
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Old 07-23-2013, 04:04 AM   #8
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I think every FA thinks this at one point or another. I'm comfortable to an extent with my preference, but I still wonder where it came from! And I've been curious about the lack of depth on the topic as well. It seems like there'd be more done.

I've heard the theory "a fat woman was nice to you when you were a kid" toted around the internet pages I've browsed. But that just seems too simple. Every kid has probably been treated nice by someone overweight at one point or another..

I have a strange theory. I was very shy with all things sexual. My family wasn't really religious, or strict, but it felt like if anything sexual came up it would be extremely uncomfortable. So I always felt strange about it, almost fearing it, and having extreme anxiety approaching it, even alone. There were levels of sexual repression within me, that took years to get past. Part of my theory for "why I'm an FA", is that during puberty, while rejecting and supressing sexual feelings of all kinds, I battled my natural urges and my attraction to women. This wasn't apparent to me then, it manifested in a disinterest in flirting/dating, but also masturbating/finding porn, everything - very little interest. ONLY, I couldn't help but stare at big butts, cleavage, CURVES. Always, I was the person glaring too long in middle school!

My point is that as much as my subconscious mind tried to avoid sexuality, these bigger girls, with so much of their femininity apparent (I mean, a big ass more apparent than a small one, and if part of the body is too big, it usually means tight clothes, making thing very clear for me haha), I think I transfered/confused my feelings. so that I equated Fat with Sexy (and feminine). Pop culture is so clear about what's sexy. I knew what was sexy very early on - avoiding that left me no choice to an extent. Once I subconsciously taught myself to avoid that bc Sex=scandalous and bad, I was still wired to love women, eventually the ones that stood out were all bigger.

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Old 07-23-2013, 12:05 PM   #9
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Considering that they still don't really know what causes a much more profound sexual distinction - hetero vs homosexuality - it's pretty clear that we don't have much to go on when it comes to working out distinctive preferences within heterosexuality.

Personally, I think it's some confluence of factors and may not be the same in every case. Maybe it's partly genetic wiring; it just makes evolutionary sense that preferences vary, as it maximizes diversity and therefore species survival prospects. Heck, from a socio-biological point of view, being overweight ought to be considered highly desirable given that nutrition has been hard to come by for good chunks of human history, and an overweight person is therefore displaying robust access to scarce food supplies. Then again, "fitness" (being thin and well-toned) would signal enhanced survival prospects in other ways.

So from this socio-biological perspective, there is nothing at all illogical in at least some of us having these predispositions.

But it might also be that that a given genetic predisposition only becomes "activated" under certain circumstances. If my guess is right that both fat and thin can be considered survival-maximizing, then culture is going to play a huge role in determining which way most of us fall. Some cultures are way more fat-friendly and fat-eroticizing than others. So more of its members have this disposition triggered.

Personal psychology is an important and maybe the most puzzling factor here. For instance, for me there seems to be some sort of correlation between the erotic and the lack of self-control implicit in overeating. It's not that I lust after women whose lives are a mess or anything, but there does seem to be something deeply arousing for me about a woman more or less stuffing herself, as well as the physical effects of overeating (i.e., fat). Conversely, I have absolutely zero fantasies about being the cause of a woman's fat (that is, being a serious feeder) - I have no particular need to be in any way in "control" of this process - and this also seems to come back to this erotic linkage my brain makes between lack of control and sexiness. So that sex/lack of control linkage seems very big for me, but it probably isn't for every FA.

The funny thing is, we wonder about the "cause" of our FA-dom, but nobody ever seems to ask the same question about sub-preferences within FA-dom. To be blunt about it, I love big hips, thighs, and butts first and foremost; then fat bellies. I was never much of a boob man. Do these preferences require explanation also? If not, why does the wider interest in BBWs require explanation? Just asking.
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Old 07-26-2013, 12:29 AM   #10
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Who really knows why we are attracted to the things and people that we are, is it life experience, is it genetic, is it environmental? I just think it sad that the world views relationships with bigger people different, what makes it different? people are attracted to different hair color eye color skin color weight is just another trait in a long list of things to find compatibility with... Some people don'tsee body type at all, I have a friend who just likes women periodlol big small tall... if we all liked the same type of person how boring would this world be lol.... Just go with the flow be attracted to what you're attracted to don't ask questions just live and be happy
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Old 07-30-2013, 03:10 PM   #11
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thread needs more pictures of butts


also, perhaps you shoukd ask yourself whatthe nature of desire is.

youve taken the first step by asking the base question, "dude, penis: why fatties?"

now follow that razors edge far enough and you'll come to the inverse question:

dude, penis; why not skinnies?


answer that last one and you're well on your way to meet the wizard that is your own penis.
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Old 08-05-2013, 08:33 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trackstar View Post

I have a strange theory...
I do as well. I give yours a lot of credence, but mine is a little different. I believe for some of us, at least for myself, there is a mechanism that is just hard wired. Now I can look at any girl from a 120 pound lean and fit girl to a 350+ pound pear shaped BBW and see the beauty in both. But when it comes to what I prefer sexually, it is not a contest. I am drawn to fat women.

It took a few years of trial and error for me to realize this about myself. Subconsciously I found a lot of fat girls appealing but I did not want to admit this to myself. I dated girls who were closer to society's ideals, but I often found my sexual experiences with them to be less than gratifying. But then a fat girl got a hold of me and after that I eventually shifted my approach. It was still an evolution. I didn't change overnight. It was a slow process by which I finally learned to gaffe off what society held important and pursued what I wanted to pursue.

I call this the difference between attraction and sexual attraction. When I finally learned I was sexually attracted to fat women, I began to more openly appreciate fat women.

I wonder if anyone else has a similar experience?
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Old 08-06-2013, 10:40 PM   #13
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I'm sure some distant ancestor walking the Eurasian steppe came across two young women -- one skinny and one fat -- he thought to himself "that skinny bitch is never going to make it through the winter."
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Old 08-07-2013, 03:18 PM   #14
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I'm sure some distant ancestor walking the Eurasian steppe came across two young women -- one skinny and one fat -- he thought to himself "that skinny bitch is never going to make it through the winter."

Kudos to you for the shortest explanation yet. I like it!

In the dim distant past, when the human race was a handful of tribes clinging to existence, I'm sure that even living through a complete pregnancy was extremely difficult for many women, due to unpredictable periods of drought or famine. It's likely that most of the children were born to women who carried enough extra fat to survive those conditions. I believe that's why so many ancient sculptures depict fat women (like the Venus of Willendorf). And even up until the 20th century, when the germ theory of disease was finally understood and widely accepted, and antibiotics were developed, a common illness or infection could often be a death sentence unless you had enough extra body weight to survive the symptoms. So everyone now alive comes from a long line of fat ancestors (and presumably quite a few FA ancestors).
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Old 08-07-2013, 05:14 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mediaboy View Post
thread needs more pictures of butts


also, perhaps you shoukd ask yourself whatthe nature of desire is.

youve taken the first step by asking the base question, "dude, penis: why fatties?"

now follow that razors edge far enough and you'll come to the inverse question:

dude, penis; why not skinnies?


answer that last one and you're well on your way to meet the wizard that is your own penis.
Have I told you how wonderful you are?

Oh wait....well not this week anyway.
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It's been so long and I've been putting out fire with gasoline"
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Old 08-07-2013, 05:16 PM   #16
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I'm sure some distant ancestor walking the Eurasian steppe came across two young women -- one skinny and one fat -- he thought to himself "that skinny bitch is never going to make it through the winter."
I've already repped you this week- sorry dude.

Oh and don't forget the part where the women with xyz percentage of body fat are the fertile ones....
women stop menstruating when it gets too low.
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Old 08-08-2013, 11:29 PM   #17
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answer that last one and you're well on your way to meet the wizard that is your own penis.
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Old 09-25-2013, 08:50 AM   #18
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Freudian psychoanalysts believe we fetishize what has scared us in childhood. Any fat women smack the shit out of you when you were little?
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Old 09-25-2013, 08:52 AM   #19
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....Or simply jump out from behind a corner with a monster drawn on their belly.
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Old 09-25-2013, 09:14 AM   #20
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hmmm, by that logic, with how much our society demonizes fat, there should be a burgeoning number of FA!
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Old 09-25-2013, 09:27 AM   #21
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Then you would have a fetish for demonizing fat surely? I think my friend's Dad has this fetish btw!
There is a distinct possibility I didn't understand your point correctly though.
I personally don't think much of psychoanalysis and I also don't think most people who are attracted to fat people are fetishists. Their *Freudian psychoanalysts* view of the reason why people 'get off on fat' would be because fat frightened them in some way. It may have been a fear of being fat, fear of a fat parent and so on. Perhaps the specific hot buttons you described depend on the type of fright!
I'm not sure I buy this but it's one school of thought.
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Old 09-25-2013, 01:06 PM   #22
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When people discuss their predispositions/preferences/fetishes, however they or others choose to define them, I'm always struck by the intriguing similarities, and equally intriguing variations. For example, I'm very much in agreement with the poster who eroticises lack of self-control and is, consequently, not interested in compulsion.
As a blind child, brought up in the 1950s, curiosity about women was intense, and necessarily unsatisfied. As a 3 or 4 year old, I might explore a nice curvey stockinged leg under a skirt until it obviously wasn't an accidental collision, and my hand got slapped away "don't do that, it's rude".
All that remained unformed until I remember a specific conversation with a kid at school, describing a woman his mother had seen while in hospital. This woman was hugely fat, with a belly hanging down to her knees, and it was clear that I was supposed to find this disgusting. I suddenly became aware of the fact that I was fascinated by this wonderful prospect.
Hard wiring? Tactile deprivation? Who knows. But that's how it was with me, and how it has stayed.
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Old 09-25-2013, 02:28 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by love handles View Post
Then you would have a fetish for demonizing fat surely? I think my friend's Dad has this fetish btw!
There is a distinct possibility I didn't understand your point correctly though.
If you are told enough times "No, you can't have ice cream...you don't want to get fat, do you?" (with an understood "and the answer is that no, you don't") or "You have to eat all your vegetables first--those are grow tall food! After that if you are hungry you can have a have ONE cookie--that is grow fat food." (with disapproving tones on 'grow fat food') or the like....yes, you could be 'scared of being fat.'

I can see something to this theory, at least in cases. They have found that we have a surge in sex hormones around ages 2-4, and it seems like a lot of the details of our sexual identity may get cemented in that period (which is earlier than most of us can remember in any detail, so it tends to feel like 'I was always this way'). And if sex is a taboo topic, perhaps anything else that is taboo, at least around the human body or relationships, could get construed as related to sex by still vague and unformed minds? (blatant uneducated speculation here).

So I wouldn't think it would mean 'scared' as in "one time a big dog ran up and knocked me down and I cried because I was scared." but scared as in "I always thought mommy's high heel shoes looked so fancy and pretty and special, but I was never allowed to touch them or play with them. Sometimes I'd sneak into her room to look at them but I was scared she'd know I'd done it, or just that I liked them so much." (note <--not autobiographical, I've never much cared for high heels, just looking at a stereotypical odd fetish)
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Old 09-25-2013, 05:45 PM   #24
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they are many reasons and it depends heavily on who. universally, fat is a very confortable substance, its cushiony and warm once you get over fat-ism so prevalent in our culture.

fat in women makes them more feminine, it raises estradiol levels and adds substance breasts, butt and even helps with smoother skin apparently. fat men if they are more muscular and/or have a beard look quite masculine, prob more than the lobster back looking dudes with their unnatural abs, while the less muscular chubs are cuddlier and still have the whole safety factor going for them.

then there is the psychological factor. since being heavier almost always involves a caloric surplus, we think of such person as gluttonous and sometimes as people willing to give in to their dark desire which can be sexy. finally, there is a small masochistic part to it which involves the strain on your body. personally, i actually LIKE going up the stairs despite being 320 because i like the feeling of resisting getting winded, and feeling my body being forced to be more efficient, and for similar reasons i like seeing some breathlessness in a chubby female partner during the act, find it carnal and sexy.

just my 2 cents
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Old 09-26-2013, 12:00 AM   #25
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Hi there,

Lately, I have been bothered by my attraction to larger women. Not the fact that I have the attraction, but the biological reasoning behind it. Why is it that some men find BBWs attractive while others don't? As far as I know (and please provide links if I'm wrong,) there have been no serious studies on the origin of fat admiration... It's so close to 'normal' heterosexuality that is sort of slips under the radar of serious study, and yet it's different enough from pop culture to be called a fetish. We're left to guess about the condition, if it can even be called a condition at all.

Here's my personal experience on the matter, for you psychology students to analyze. I felt a preference for overweight women FAR before I hit puberty. It started when I was five or six years old! I knew that I was attracted to women but not exactly why, since six year old children generally aren't up to speed on the act of intercourse. Six year olds do know about food, though, so I always associated the women's desirability with eating and becoming large. This just wound up tying in with everything else when I finally did hit puberty, so here I am today, attracted to average to large sized women.

If anybody has anything to add on the matter, please feel free to do so. Did anybody have a similar, or possibly entirely different experience?
Yes there has been minimal serious scientific study of the fat admiration concept by behavioral scientists. A few limited studies have been carried out in recent years. Here is a link to an article in Psychology Today that discusses the issue and specifically a 2009 study by Swami and Furnham. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...ding-addiction


My own realization of my FAness came more-so at the puberty stage (at 13 years of age). A profound experience was the viewing of a 6 part weight loss feature in a women's magazine (to which my mother was a subscriber) in which a woman reduced from ~ 220 lb to 140 lb in 6 months. And as other FAs have experienced, the fact that I found the fatter 'before version' much more appealing was rather a revelation. It was clear to me from there on that I was FA to the core.

While FAness is usually described as a preference, I have always been uncomfortable with that characterization. A preference for blondes or redheads is one thing, but a sexual desire for a SSBBW is much more profound, and I just feel referring to such as a preference tends to trivialize it.

I have referred to FAness as a form of sexual orientation but been criticized for making fat people seem somehow more marginalized as an 'other'. So maybe we can call FAness a predisposition as Brit FA mentioned. All I know is calling it a preference is just too lightweight (pardon the pun) of a description for my liking.
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