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Old 07-16-2013, 08:03 PM   #1
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Default Second Thoughts About Gain

So I found out about gaining about a year ago, and within the last six months have been doing so. I was really looking forward to my gain and have even taken it public, some of you on Dims may have seen bits in the paysite board.

But here's the problem. I felt great as a fat person 50 pounds ago. I had no health issues. 50 pounds later I have a plethora of illnesses and am just feeling generally horrific.

I am looking to do an overhaul to my diet and activity levels. I am not actively looking to change numbers, but that is probably going to happen because my eating habits right not are piss poor and my activity level is zilch. I am just terrified of being exiled from the fat community for this and losing fans. Because I will have to be honest, I do rely upon my paysite to make it through the month.

I don't even know why I am posting here at this point. Does anyone have any advice? I am just torn between the way I feel physically and keeping up the weight in order to make it financially. ugh.
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Old 07-16-2013, 09:36 PM   #2
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You don't owe your fans your health. If you need to lose weight to improve your quality of life, do it. As for the rest of the so-called community, their opinions on your life aren't really important. The people who really know you and care for you will support you no matter what. Those who can't see past the fat are people you don't need in your life anyway.

Edited to add: Whatever money you get from your paysite won't do you a lot of good if you ruin your health and end up not being able to work at all.
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Old 07-16-2013, 11:36 PM   #3
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I know what that's like. The last 50lbs I gained limited my mobility a lot and made me generally feel horrific. Only I gained it due to medication. And there are a lot of people in the fat community that are against weightloss. I pretty much agree with what Dromond said. Do what is best for your health.
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Old 07-17-2013, 06:10 AM   #4
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You are more important than your fans, and Dromond's right- the money from your paysite won't be very helpful if you're just feeling worse and worse and less able to work. If you're fatter than you're comfortable with, you have no obligations to stay that fat and not lose weight.

This is about what you want, not what other people want for you.
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Old 07-17-2013, 06:17 AM   #5
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Another ditto on what Dromond said.

Also, while I'm far from an expert on what sells on pay sites, just from seeing thread titles I get the impression that a lot of the veterans move to selling the fat fantasy more than simply 'look how much fatter I've become!' over time--presumably because nobody can just keep gaining forever.

And finally, beside the weight gain, what lifestyle changes did you make that helped lead to the gain? Depending on what you've been eating, how active you've been, etc, that could also be a big part of the health problems. Not to minimize the impact of fifty pounds of fat, just saying that if you gained in part by eating a lot of fast food, for example, that can take its own toll.

Doh, I said that last paragraph was the final one, but yet one more thought: If you aren't eating so much to fuel a gain, and aren't having to buy ever bigger clothes, it should reduce your costs somewhat. Whether that balances out what you might lose in paysite business, I don't know.
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Old 07-17-2013, 02:17 PM   #6
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I should have just dittoed, Dromond, but someone beat me to it.

I like to think of it like this. .which is better. . a very fat "lavish" Laura, who is sick, and unhappy because of it. .Or, a "less lavish" Laura, who feels better, and enjoys her life? Seems like a no-brainer to me. .

You don't owe me, or any other fan your health, or life. . Live your life as you choose. .

There's plenty of support for you on this site. In case you didn't notice.
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Old 07-18-2013, 08:30 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lavishlaura View Post
Does anyone have any advice? I am just torn between the way I feel physically and keeping up the weight in order to make it financially. ugh.
The only reason you should intentionally gain weight is if it tweaks your sexual interests. You will never make enough money as a fat model to offset the significant expenses. The Return On Investment just isn't there. The food costs, the ongoing expenses of new clothes, and in your case added healthcare costs that are appearing early on in your "journey". If you were truly interested in gaining weight, the modeling would help pay for some of the already expected expenses. That's a very different circumstance from what you've described.

Besides, the last thing we need in the Fat Acceptance community is another SSBBW model that is a poseur that actually hates how fat they've become. If gaining or achieving supersize status isn't your thing, don't do it. It's better to lose some now while you're still young and smaller and your skin will recover better than later on when you're older and have gotten bigger.

And why is this thread in the 'WLS Controversy' area? At a minimum it's more appropriate for the 'Health Forum'.

Last edited by HereticFA; 07-18-2013 at 08:32 AM. Reason: wrong word used
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Old 07-18-2013, 09:50 AM   #8
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I really was interested and intrigued by the idea at first... but I guess I had to tr y to know.

Anyway, after all of the messages on here I have decided to give it a go and start with a diet overhaul so I can get the nutrition my body needs. We'll see how it goes from there - maybe I stay at this weight and maybe I don't. Either way I know there are awesome people out there who won't judge me.

And on a side note, I thought the forum meant "Weight Loss Controversy". After your commenting I am guessing it is more specific than that. Whoops, sorry.
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Old 07-18-2013, 10:16 AM   #9
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Yep, lots of people will support you, no matter what.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lavishlaura View Post
And on a side note, I thought the forum meant "Weight Loss Controversy". After your commenting I am guessing it is more specific than that. Whoops, sorry.
Around here WLS = "Weight Loss Surgery" But people can be forgiven for not having been born knowing all the acronyms that get used here!
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Old 07-19-2013, 05:49 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by lavishlaura View Post
Anyway, after all of the messages on here I have decided to give it a go and start with a diet overhaul so I can get the nutrition my body needs.
Eat healthy is one thing but most of the health problems do not come from the weight itself but from the lack of physical activity. Simple walking can do wanders to the so called fat related illnesses.
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Old 07-19-2013, 07:29 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lavishlaura View Post
I really was interested and intrigued by the idea at first... but I guess I had to tr y to know.

Anyway, after all of the messages on here I have decided to give it a go and start with a diet overhaul so I can get the nutrition my body needs. We'll see how it goes from there - maybe I stay at this weight and maybe I don't. Either way I know there are awesome people out there who won't judge me.

And on a side note, I thought the forum meant "Weight Loss Controversy". After your commenting I am guessing it is more specific than that. Whoops, sorry.
There is a lot of jargon that's developed and evolved in the 45 years since the Fat Acceptance movement started. It's certainly understandable that a relative newcomer doesn't know it all.

Fat Acceptance can be seductively attractive at first. The idea that you can "let go" and eat anything you want without fear of rebuke from those around you. Unfortunately that can lead to a lot of the well known obesity related diseases, and some not as well known. It varies widely depending on the genetics of the person, their age, their overall fitness level, and the composition of the nutrition they take in.

In a way, you're lucky. By hitting issues early on, it's actually easier to change. Look into the Health At Every Size (HAES) approach and just accept the body that results.
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Old 07-23-2013, 10:13 AM   #12
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Good advice on this thread. I think Blackjack put it best.

One thing I would add is that there is a little bit of a tragedy here: Our bodies handle extra fat differently. Some people can handle hundreds of extra pounds healthily for their whole lives. Some people start to get sick with even ten or fifteen pounds of extra fat. Most of us are somewhere in between. And what our bodies tells us is healthy is not always the same as what our minds tell us we want to be. Just as there are people who would be perfectly healthy fat but don't want to be fat, there are others who very much want to be fat but their bodies just can't do it.

In the end, if your body is saying "nay" to the wonderful world of gaining then you would be wise to respect it. Your body knows best.
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Old 08-17-2013, 08:27 AM   #13
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Well it turns out I have some underlying health problems that I need to be concerned about first. Kind of grim, but what am I gonna do? You have all been very helpful but it looks like my love of food and my love of a big belly are going to have to be put on the back burner for awhile...
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Old 08-21-2013, 05:36 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by lavishlaura View Post
Well it turns out I have some underlying health problems that I need to be concerned about first. Kind of grim, but what am I gonna do? You have all been very helpful but it looks like my love of food and my love of a big belly are going to have to be put on the back burner for awhile...
*Hugs* How much do you weigh? How much were you told to lose?

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Old 09-02-2013, 01:19 AM   #15
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I wasn't told to lose anything, thankfully. Just starting some new meds and treatments that might have side effects such as me not being able to have an appetite or having bad nausea. None so far though, so lets keep our fingers crossed!!
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