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Old 07-23-2006, 09:19 PM   #1
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Default Fat Talk

Like many males here, I’m aroused by the idea of a woman gaining weight. There’s just something about a woman’s figure blossoming to become more voluptuous, more abundant, more feminine that drives me, dare I say it, wild.

What turns me on just as much, however, is the idea of a woman gaining weight. When I’m with a girl, imagining her beautiful belly burgeoning, her thighs thickening, her waist widening, (insert your anatomy-related alliteration here), gets me all hot and bothered. I suppose my problem is that when I’m having these feelings, I have the tendency to share them. On more than one occasion I have been known to exalt my lovers’ “fat ass” or “plump thighs” in the throes of passion.

This never goes over well, and I’m not at all surprised. To many girls, the word “fat” is a four-letter word. Even women who are comfortable with their bodies rarely like having them referred to as fat during intimacy. I would never intentionally use disrespectful or hurtful language towards a woman during intimacy, so I’m often abashed when my inner-thoughts make it out of my mouth.

What turns me on even more is when a girl talks about gaining weight. When a girl talks about her breasts overflowing her bra, her belly spilling over her panties, or her thighs rubbing together from overindulgence, I literally can’t contain myself. On once occasion a few months ago, a girl who knew of my preferences took me to her room (I’m a college student) and began talking about what would happen to her body if she were to gain ten pounds, twenty pounds, fifty pounds…you get the idea. I never stood a chance. Sadly, the next time we got together she confessed to me that she had only done this because she knew I wouldn’t be able to resist her if she did. She went on to explain that she didn’t want to engage in “fat talk” anymore, because it made her uncomfortable. I was understanding, of course, but disappointed that she didn’t take the same joy in these fantasies as I did. I thought I had found my dream-girl!

Is there anyone else her who enjoys fat talk? This seems like a kind of personal thing to talk about, so I apologize if my post provided too much information for some tastes. But what better place to discuss it than here, right?
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Old 07-23-2006, 09:27 PM   #2
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Im not into it, but for you? anything!

*giggles*
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Old 07-23-2006, 09:29 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by GWARrior
Im not into it, but for you? anything!

*giggles*
Oh well, the search continues...
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Old 07-23-2006, 09:39 PM   #4
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fiinnee Ill be serious for a minute.

"Fat" just doesnt sound intimate or sensual. I certainly dont think its a bad word, but its just not sexy sounding (to me anyway).

That was no help at all, but Im tired.

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Old 07-23-2006, 09:48 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GWARrior
fiinnee Ill be serious for a minute.

"Fat" just doesnt sound intimate or sensual. I certainly dont think its a bad word, but its just not sexy sounding (to me anyway).

That was no help at all, but Im tired.

I entirely understand. I honestly wouldn't expect any girl to actually enjoy speaking or being spoken to in this way. Is it my fault that it gets my motor humming? I guess I've read too much weight-gain fiction.

As a footnote, I have encountered girls willing to tolerate lesser-synonyms such as "plump" or "thick". Inevitably though, they eventually confess that they'd prefer I didn't use any language of that sort, and I'm left feeling like a pervert.
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Old 07-23-2006, 10:03 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leonard LePage
I entirely understand. I honestly wouldn't expect any girl to actually enjoy speaking or being spoken to in this way. Is it my fault that it gets my motor humming? I guess I've read too much weight-gain fiction.

As a footnote, I have encountered girls willing to tolerate lesser-synonyms such as "plump" or "thick". Inevitably though, they eventually confess that they'd prefer I didn't use any language of that sort, and I'm left feeling like a pervert.

I dont think 'plump' or 'thick' would bug me at all. 'Fat' just doesnt work for me... and you don't sound like a perv.

I just know Id want a guy to show me how sexy he thinks my body is. I can appreciate an honest attempt!
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Old 07-23-2006, 10:16 PM   #7
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Default Not quite

Your're not a pervert, just a young FA in the process of learning wisdom.

I'm a three time granddad going for #4. My luscious BBW wife knows exactly what I think of her every ounce and I'm lucky that her appetite preludes her ever even trying to diet. But even though she has been the family fat chick all her life, is very successful in her field, and accepts my love and her size she's not proud enough of it to be comfortable with me constantly telling her what she knows I'm thinking.

She is even happy that I write stories designed to help BBWS and FAs and help moderate these bosrds, but she prefers not to come here herself. That, my lad, should tell you something about the mindset of all too many people of size. Why do you think groups like NAAFA don't have more supporters?

My advice to you? Find a large and lovely girl with whom you're compatible at every level. Let your eyes and face confirm your words when you tell her she's beautiful. Indulge her appetites without a murmur, help her buy clothes that display her best features withoout a murmur about the price. Somewhere along the way let your preference be well known. But don't expect her to enkoy being constantly told what you really think about her belly, chin and other parts.

Its not that you, I or any other hardwired FA is perverted. Its that these luscious ladies have been programmed to think a certain way and there's nothing to be done about it ubless they make the transition. Be happy with what you can get - they're really nice to share life with. They can tell your feelings by your caresses - you don't have to verbalize it.
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Old 07-23-2006, 10:35 PM   #8
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Observer, thank you very much for your insightful post.

It's true that a little restraint goes a long way. I often censor myself during intimacy, 'cause that's just the sensible thing to do. Once and a while however, something manages to slip through the cracks. The results are never good.

I guess it may be because I'm a writer, but language is very important to me, and words carry a great deal of power. It's strange to think that no matter how attracted to a woman I am, it turns me on that much more to hear her refer to herself as plump, fat, or lament (or celebrate) her recent weight gain.

I just wish I didn't have to sensor myself so much. Oh well, just something I need to get used to, I suppose.
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Old 07-23-2006, 11:08 PM   #9
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Leonard, you won't have to censor yourself with the right person, and the right person will love herself as is, and even if she doesn't want to gain, per se, she'll enjoy seeing what talking about gaining does to you, and won't be threatened by talking about it, the way it might threaten someone who isn't accepting of their own fat body. I can see that it might be a problem if that's all you want her to talk about and it becomes obsessive, but a bit of play like that seems pretty darned harmless.

I'm not sure that fat-talk specifically excites me, but occasionally I tease him a bit with that sort of thing. I will say that it excites me that my soft, fat bod excites my lover, and I like to hear about it, so it's all good.

I still laugh at my boyfriend showing me a picture he took of me while I was walking away from him one day. At first he thought I was upset when I mentioned just how HUGE my ass is. I was truly shocked, because it's not a view I usually see. I mean, I knew it was big, but I had no idea how disproportionately huge it looked in the picture. I marveled at the difference in width between my shoulders and my hips, and how my arms couldn't even get *close* to hanging straight down at my sides. Thing is, I thought it was cool and still do. I'm sure some people laugh at me, because it rather is out of proportion to the rest of me; but that's okay, I like my bum.

He does, too.
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Old 07-24-2006, 12:18 AM   #10
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Gaining talk doesn't do much for me, but "fat" or "huge" or something in the throes of passion? MORE than okay with me.

Perhaps I'm mistaken, but I get the impression from your post that these are pretty casual encounters. I think that's part of your difficulty. If you find a steady girl, and build up trust in all sorts of areas, then she's most likely going to be more up for "play" talk.

Here's how I see the evolution: First, she wonders if you really like her fat body. Secondly, she begins to accept from empirical evidence that you do like it...a LOT. Thirdly, she begins to feel a rush of sexual power from being able to turn you on. That's when she will be more open to talking about fat, gaining fantasies, etc. Often being able to turn you on will turn her on.

I don't think you're a pervert, as I believe a lot of men in our community have these thoughts. While there are few true gaining women (compared to the number of men that desire a gainer) there are many many many women that would be up for playing at it as a sexual game. And many more than that that would be up for hearing how their fat jiggly bellies or huge creamy thighs send you over the moon.

Good Luck!
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Old 07-24-2006, 01:30 AM   #11
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I loooove hearing a boy say, "wow look at that fat ass" doesn't mean if he means my bum or not! to me fat is a POSITIVE word. sometimes i feel down about it but others im like yay.

as far as gaining and what not? not into it...but i LOOOOOVE food.
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Old 07-24-2006, 02:05 AM   #12
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Being another young FA... I can kind of understand where you're coming from. However, I feel like your issue is more one of practice rather than theory.

The problem is that you're dealing with big girls who our age- most of whom are still under the illusion that they are the inhabitant of a body that is not desirable in the slightest. Then they meet a young FA like us who's giving them positive attention... but I can TOTALLY understand why they might be upset with what you deem "fat talk." All women are exposed to objectification we cannot even dream of... so FINALLY when a girl feels good about herself because she's with a stud like you or I, then she has to feel the let down of passionate comments about:

1) The part of her body she's been taught to loathe her whole life, and
2) A feature that she knows you enjoy GENERALLY and not just about her

If you want to get the message across that you're attracted to her and not just her "fat," then I'd recommend you work to make comments that make the girl the focus. You can still mention all the parts of a woman's body that us FA's love, but make it HERS. Instead of talking about her "fat ass," say something more neutral like "You look magnificent." It gets the point across, and you still enjoy the benefit of expressing yourself about what you enjoy.
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Old 07-24-2006, 05:18 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by Tina
Leonard, you won't have to censor yourself with the right person, and the right person will love herself as is, and even if she doesn't want to gain, per se, she'll enjoy seeing what talking about gaining does to you, and won't be threatened by talking about it, the way it might threaten someone who isn't accepting of their own fat body. I can see that it might be a problem if that's all you want her to talk about and it becomes obsessive, but a bit of play like that seems pretty darned harmless.

I'm not sure that fat-talk specifically excites me, but occasionally I tease him a bit with that sort of thing. I will say that it excites me that my soft, fat bod excites my lover, and I like to hear about it, so it's all good.

I still laugh at my boyfriend showing me a picture he took of me while I was walking away from him one day. At first he thought I was upset when I mentioned just how HUGE my ass is. I was truly shocked, because it's not a view I usually see. I mean, I knew it was big, but I had no idea how disproportionately huge it looked in the picture. I marveled at the difference in width between my shoulders and my hips, and how my arms couldn't even get *close* to hanging straight down at my sides. Thing is, I thought it was cool and still do. I'm sure some people laugh at me, because it rather is out of proportion to the rest of me; but that's okay, I like my bum.

He does, too.

*Here here, my dear!*
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Old 07-24-2006, 06:27 AM   #14
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I really enjoy 'fat talk' it really gets me going. heheh
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Old 07-24-2006, 06:35 AM   #15
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Default Words?

I feel ya dog. Wow..that did not sound right! lol..Yes words have power..and unfortunately they have different meanings to different people, also it depends on the context. Consider the "N" word for a second and you will quickly see what I mean.

I share all your views regarding what is erotic and would also like to share how difficult it has been for me to fully express my feelings. When I was dating fat women often they would mistrust me because they coulnd't figure out how a "nice looking guy" could ever be attracted to a fat woman. FAs/encouoragers are not super well known or I.D. now but "back in the day" they were vertually unheard of. My wife was shocked at my preferences when she first met me. She was chubby and thought she was fat..I of course thought she was too skinny, long story short, while we were married much to my delight, she went from 124 - 250. Some say why didn't you marry a fat woman in the first place, well what can I say, I feel in love with her!

While making love if I ever called her fat it would have sent her in a tailspin. I think as the word "fat" gets out more in a positive weigh (like my pun?) it will be accepted more. Consider the word almost out of style word "phat" and now the program called "Moniques FAT chance",but its a long slow road.Trust me my friend when I say many beautiful fat women have been bombbarded with negative messages their whole lives. It is up to us FAs to help them realize their true beauty, I think that is priority #1. My advice, keep the "f" word out and substitute "soft and sexy" or something like that. Perhaps...after you know the lady very well and she trusts you completly and after you make it clear that FAT means sexy to you can you start to decscribe her as such. Hey I say fat now instead of "bigger, BBW, etc." and my wife does finally accept it...but NEVER obese she REEEEALLY hates that word..damn doctors lol.
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Old 07-24-2006, 07:04 AM   #16
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Obviously, some women like the word 'fat' and all it implies (like Em). I get called 'luscious' and 'yummy' and 'juicy' and those work (boy, do they ever) for me. I know they're allusions to my fat, but they're MORE than just a substitute. It's not that I have a problem being fat, but that word, while not rude or offensive, just isn't sexy to me. And, in some contexts, it can just feel weirdly objectifying, which is never sexy. I suppose it's the difference between saying: You're so tall! and You're so powerful and strong and manly (or whatever attributes you feel tallness lends). Maybe mix it up? 'Lusciously plump/fat thighs?'
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Old 07-24-2006, 07:33 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eightyseven
Being another young FA... I can kind of understand where you're coming from. However, I feel like your issue is more one of practice rather than theory.

The problem is that you're dealing with big girls who our age- most of whom are still under the illusion that they are the inhabitant of a body that is not desirable in the slightest. Then they meet a young FA like us who's giving them positive attention... but I can TOTALLY understand why they might be upset with what you deem "fat talk." All women are exposed to objectification we cannot even dream of... so FINALLY when a girl feels good about herself because she's with a stud like you or I, then she has to feel the let down of passionate comments about:

1) The part of her body she's been taught to loathe her whole life, and
2) A feature that she knows you enjoy GENERALLY and not just about her

If you want to get the message across that you're attracted to her and not just her "fat," then I'd recommend you work to make comments that make the girl the focus. You can still mention all the parts of a woman's body that us FA's love, but make it HERS. Instead of talking about her "fat ass," say something more neutral like "You look magnificent." It gets the point across, and you still enjoy the benefit of expressing yourself about what you enjoy.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Its just as easy to substitute honey for sugar. Leonard, if you insist on using the word fat, it might just take time in a long standing relationship for it to achieve the erotic power you associate with it.

It took me YEARS to accept FAT into my lexicon of empowerment. And if some FA wants to show up at my window with a boombox with Morrissey's "You're the One for me Fatty", well, I think I will be pleased as punch.
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Old 07-24-2006, 08:20 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by ripley
Gaining talk doesn't do much for me, but "fat" or "huge" or something in the throes of passion? MORE than okay with me.

Perhaps I'm mistaken, but I get the impression from your post that these are pretty casual encounters. I think that's part of your difficulty. If you find a steady girl, and build up trust in all sorts of areas, then she's most likely going to be more up for "play" talk.
Agreed. When a fat woman is comfortable with herself and can see the lust and love in her partner's eyes, a well-placed "you naughty little fat girl" or the like can be pretty damn hot.
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Old 07-24-2006, 08:54 AM   #19
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Fat talk does turn me on... but I can understand why some girls might not like it. That one comment about the "naughty little fat girl" was so hot by the way... if a guy said that to me... watch out hehe I use the word fat so loosely now, I forget that people freak out by it because of such a bad stigma to it. I'm clearly fat... and when I talk about it sometimes people get embarrassed for me I think, and they'll say "ohhh you're not fat" just trying to be nice... I'm like HELLO are you looking at me... its ok I am and I like it!!! lol...

My advice... start off with just telling her how sexy you think she is... or if you like her big ass touch her ass and tell her how much you love it... you gotta work in the fat talk after awhile... not right off the bat ya know what I mean?? If she digs it, pretty soon she'll be doing the fat talk saying things like "ohh you want my fat ass baby?" hehe and it'll be smoothe sailing from thereee Good luck!!
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Old 07-24-2006, 08:56 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by ripley
Perhaps I'm mistaken, but I get the impression from your post that these are pretty casual encounters. I think that's part of your difficulty. If you find a steady girl, and build up trust in all sorts of areas, then she's most likely going to be more up for "play" talk.

Here's how I see the evolution: First, she wonders if you really like her fat body. Secondly, she begins to accept from empirical evidence that you do like it...a LOT. Thirdly, she begins to feel a rush of sexual power from being able to turn you on. That's when she will be more open to talking about fat, gaining fantasies, etc. Often being able to turn you on will turn her on.
Your impression is not altogether inaccurate. I had briefly dated the girl mentioned in my previous anecdote a year earlier, but we definitely hadn't built up much trust between us.

On the other hand, my girlfriend of a year never took to this sort of talk at all. She was well aware that she drove me absolutely mad, but any reference to the abundance of her body just put her off. This could have been for any number of reasons. She had gained about thirty pounds since the beginning of our relationship. Normally this would have sent my tongue wagging, and for a while it did, but the gain made her so insecure and miserable that I just felt guilty for enjoying it. Our relationship is currently on hiatus for entirely unrelated reasons.

I agree that putting time into a relationship and building trust is important, but some girls aren't going to be into this sort of thing no matter how comfortable they feel around you. I just wish there were some sort of way to tell ahead of time, you know?
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Old 07-24-2006, 09:45 AM   #21
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Agreed. When a fat woman is comfortable with herself and can see the lust and love in her partner's eyes, a well-placed "you naughty little fat girl" or the like can be pretty damn hot.
oh, word! i like being called filthy names, but when I know my partner knows i'm not really filthy. it's all a question of balance. But, some people are never going to like it. Ever.
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Old 07-24-2006, 09:50 AM   #22
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This could have been for any number of reasons. She had gained about thirty pounds since the beginning of our relationship. Normally this would have sent my tongue wagging, and for a while it did, but the gain made her so insecure and miserable that I just felt guilty for enjoying it.
That's your answer right there - it's a two part equation, in my opinion, not solely a matter of the guy making it clear to the girl that he's hot for her. If the girl isn't comfortable and happy in her skin, she's not going to enjoy fat talk (which is not to say that all woman who ARE comfortable with themselves will enjoy it - just that it's unlikely to appeal to someone struggling with self-image).
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Old 07-24-2006, 10:12 AM   #23
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Default i love this thread!

I like Ripley's comments best about the stages of being with a fat girl, and also agree that it's a trust thing.

I'm really turned on by fat talk, but I'm also upset by it (sometimes at the SAME TIME). It's a delicate balance. I agree with others that it's gotta be something that you work your way into, using generally appreciative terms.

Not so long ago, I encouraged a lover to fat talk to me. Usually our affairs remained rather silent with an occasional murmured "that is so...., you are so..." comment. After my assurances that I was totally into it, he went for it, and it changed EVERYTHING. It was incredible erotic to really talk about how fat I am openly, how much larger I am than he, etc, etc. I loved it.

But as I mentioned before, it still was a scary process for me. At one point he made a comment about being so fat, how could my legs hold me? (while on top). That balance for me was triggered, and I immediately wanted to sob. Triggered old feelings of fear and shame, I guess.

I think for me it's about continuing to get used to it, and training my mind to not hear "You're so fat" and see my lover, not a group of kids in elementary school.
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Old 07-24-2006, 12:30 PM   #24
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But as I mentioned before, it still was a scary process for me. At one point he made a comment about being so fat, how could my legs hold me? (while on top). That balance for me was triggered, and I immediately wanted to sob. Triggered old feelings of fear and shame, I guess.
That would probably make me cry and wanna slap him.
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Old 07-24-2006, 01:28 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by plumpum
I think as the word "fat" gets out more in a positive weigh (like my pun?) it will be accepted more. Consider the word almost out of style word "phat" and now the program called "Moniques FAT chance",but its a long slow road.Trust me my friend when I say many beautiful fat women have been bombbarded with negative messages their whole lives. It is up to us FAs to help them realize their true beauty, I think that is priority #1. My advice, keep the "f" word out and substitute "soft and sexy" or something like that. Perhaps...after you know the lady very well and she trusts you completly and after you make it clear that FAT means sexy to you can you start to decscribe her as such. Hey I say fat now instead of "bigger, BBW, etc." and my wife does finally accept it...but NEVER obese she REEEEALLY hates that word..damn doctors lol.
You really hit the nail on the head, plumpum. Perhaps one day, Fat won't carry such a negative stigma. Perhaps it will just be another way to describe a person's body, the same way that words like "long" and "thick" can be used to describe a person's hair.

Just to set the record straight, I've never used to word "fat" during intimacy intentionally. It's always been an accidental ejaculation. Most times I use a substitute, as you so wisely suggested. They work fine, but they just don't carry the same oomph, you know? Congratulations on your relationship, though. For me, the f-word remains ever-elusive.
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