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Old 07-24-2013, 03:33 PM   #1
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Default Ces Personnes... ils sont trop verts! TROP VERTS!!

Came across these this evening.

Click Here For picture 1 which I can't seem to shrink properly



Generally accurate, or way off?
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Old 07-24-2013, 06:54 PM   #2
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The introverts picture is basically an image that contains instructions on how to not be an asshole.
The extrovert picture is basically an image that contains instructions on how to not be an asshole.

Combine the two and you probably have instructions on being a person people wont hate.
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Old 07-25-2013, 12:40 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by BigChaz View Post
The introverts picture is basically an image that contains instructions on how to not be an asshole.
The extrovert picture is basically an image that contains instructions on how to not be an asshole.

Combine the two and you probably have instructions on being a person people wont hate.
I commend you on your reading comprehension skills.

You appear to be able to understand individual words. Bravo.

Expanding upon your analysis, what I was asking was "Is it reasonably accurate to break down how to treat people into these two different approaches?"
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Old 07-25-2013, 01:19 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Sasquatch! View Post
Expanding upon your analysis, what I was asking was "Is it reasonably accurate to break down how to treat people into these two different approaches?"
To be honest, I largely agree with Chaz.

But, analysis time! From the perspective of a pretty introverted person.

I'll start with the extrovert list. I did notice that the extroverted list seems much more...positive? Respecting independence seems equally important for an introvert. It's just a person thing. As for the rest of the list, it seems like it pushes general "support and enthusiasm!" The only numbers on that list that might make me somewhat uncomfortable are 2, 9, and 10. 10 in the sense that an introvert probably doesn't want to be the center of attention (same for 2, come to think of it.)

And for the introverted list...I generally agree with it. 6 and 7 seem utterly irrelevant to me. "Advance notice of expected change" sounds like "Remind them of things they're already aware of!" But the general message of "Allow them to take things in and don't push socialization" is accurate enough. Beyond that, 5 and 8 seem less important to me. The others are spot on.

Again, from an introverted perspective...the introverted list seems more specialized. Maybe because introverts have more guidelines when it comes to social situations. But many of the listings on the extroverted list don't seem as specific, in that most people would appreciate a lot of them, extroverted or not. I find 1 and 6 on the extroverted list absolutely crucial.
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Old 07-25-2013, 01:44 PM   #5
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I think both conflate introversion/extroversion with other personality traits, which may often but not always be related to introversion/extroversion.
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Old 07-25-2013, 02:42 PM   #6
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As somebody who invariably scores 100% introvert whenever they do those sort of tests I guess I should give my opinion too! =p

Introverts list:
1. Respect for privacy applies to everyone, doesn't it?
2. Again, people don't like being embarrassed, extroverts included.
3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 11 apply for me.
5. That is called manners.
10. I dislike the implication that introverts need some sort of help or permission to make close friends.
12. Hooray for the implication that introverts aren't as good as extroverts, yet again! For those of you wondering where I got that from, where on the extrovert list does it tell you to respect their extrovertedness and not try and turn them into introverts? Exactly. Introverted does not mean negative.

Extroverts list:
1, 6 Respecting independence and understanding when someone is busy applies to everybody.
2, 3, 4, 7 and 8 all seem good to me.
5. Plenty of introverts love surprises!
9. Introverts can like affection and I know extroverts that really dislike physical affection.
10. Well let everybody shine, surely?

Just my thoughts!
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Old 07-25-2013, 04:53 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by Sasquatch! View Post
I commend you on your reading comprehension skills.

You appear to be able to understand individual words. Bravo.

Expanding upon your analysis, what I was asking was "Is it reasonably accurate to break down how to treat people into these two different approaches?"
I wasn't trying to be a smartass. I just think that those two charts encompass how you should interact with every person that you know. The goal is to know the person you are talking to or be able to infer things about them so that you can decide upon the level of each of those items to apply to your interactions.

I'm an extrovert, but I don't want people to treat me like that extrovert chart. I kinda like both to be quite honest.

1) I want you to respect my independence but I always want you to respect my privacy

2) I love compliments, but dont do it in a way that embarasses me in public. If you see something to compliment me about, just do it in a normal way. (Normal is not strictly defined, it depends on your relationship with the person, your current situation, etc)

etc etc

In short, both of those charts apply to all people, its just a matter of gauging the person you hopefully know.

Quite truthfully, I dont know how to go more indepth than that because I really just think it depends on the person you are interacting with.
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Old 07-25-2013, 06:21 PM   #8
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In short, both of those charts apply to all people, its just a matter of gauging the person you hopefully know.

Quite truthfully, I dont know how to go more indepth than that because I really just think it depends on the person you are interacting with.
Exactly. There are degrees of introversion and extraversion, and a one-size-fits-all approach doesn't work any better here than in any other area of human relations.

For anyone who would like to know more about introversion/extraversion, I recommend the book Quiet by Susan Cain.
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Old 07-25-2013, 08:00 PM   #9
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I think it's important to keep in mind that extroversion is a trait that should be seen on a scale: "extroverted" and "introverted" are the opposite ends, but there are shades of gray. For example, when I'm in a situation that requires a lot of interaction, I can usually pull together some facade of extroversion (it's not necessarily fake, but I just emphasize my traits that make me more personable). But it's very taxing, and I need time to myself to recharge. So I think there's a lot of variance.

And even if a person is labeled as an introvert/extrovert, they likely don't fit every aspect of their category. I think the charts are decent guidelines, but I'd want to take each person into account rather than just paint with a broad brush.
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Old 07-25-2013, 08:07 PM   #10
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Default ah-guys...

It doesn't say "only do these things if..." It's more like (supposed to be) these are good points of emphasis.

It's like, if someone had bad breath, you might advise more regular brushing, flossing, drinking water, chlorophyll, etc... But it doesn't mean that these things are only for folks who already have bad breath, right?
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Old 07-26-2013, 12:04 PM   #11
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I suppose if you think of those as being like those public health notices in public washrooms, reminding you to wash your hands with hot water and soap...they are reasonable. i.e. if you weren't going to think about how you were treating individual people and were going to treat everyone the way you like being treated, those charts might be good basic reminders of variance. But...you'd kind of hope that most people don't need reminding at that level, and suspect that the ones that do won't pay attention anyway
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Old 08-08-2013, 06:34 PM   #12
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Unhappy

Here's a somewhat relevant question.

Lately - meaning for a few months - I've been having an increasingly hard time balancing my obligations and my social life. Obligations meaning academics, preparing for school applications. I finish my work and all I want to do is enjoy being alone. (I'll specify that my work isn't stressing me out really. It's usually something that I don't mind and/or gives me fulfillment.)

I really enjoy talking to people through text, and that's never a problem. But I have an extremely, extremely difficult time pushing myself to engage in any actual verbal communication. Be it in person or phone, etc etc. Even if I know I'll probably have a good enough time, I end up really dreading the possibility of doing it.

Does anyone else have this issue How do you deal with it messing up your social life, when people get tired of not hanging out?
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Old 08-08-2013, 06:56 PM   #13
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For me, that's usually the sign of a depressive episode.
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Old 08-08-2013, 07:23 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Amaranthine View Post
Here's a somewhat relevant question.

Lately - meaning for a few months - I've been having an increasingly hard time balancing my obligations and my social life. Obligations meaning academics, preparing for school applications. I finish my work and all I want to do is enjoy being alone. (I'll specify that my work isn't stressing me out really. It's usually something that I don't mind and/or gives me fulfillment.)

I really enjoy talking to people through text, and that's never a problem. But I have an extremely, extremely difficult time pushing myself to engage in any actual verbal communication. Be it in person or phone, etc etc. Even if I know I'll probably have a good enough time, I end up really dreading the possibility of doing it.

Does anyone else have this issue How do you deal with it messing up your social life, when people get tired of not hanging out?
Almost the same problem here: I have issues whenever I feel pressured by people or circumstances into typing out written conversations, and will avoid doing so if I can most of the time. I detest feeling anchored to a conversation in which I have to meticulously type out every letter at a fraction of the speed I could be getting the exchange over with if I were speaking verbally.

But I did figure out somewhat of a solution for the dreading of actually doing things with people out in public. For myself, I figured out that after receiving the invitation to do something, I needed at least four hours (some days, six or more) of letting the idea sink in before the dread/anxiety/fucking introvert feeling dissipated and I could get ready for the event with impunity. If it's the Winter or Fall, I can need a full day's notice in advance.

But once I realized I needed the time limit to expire on the undesirability of the idea, that was the solution. I explained to my close friends that I needed the time between their initial invites and my eventual answers for the purposes of introvert bullshit, and we figured out how to work around it. Now that I know this works for me, I can actually look forward to the time limit expiring while I'm still feeling the dread, and it helps to alleviate the dread somewhat more quickly.

So you have to figure out how much time you need for the idea of going out to settle in deeper than the temporary dread, whether it's a few hours or a few days or (hopefully not) more.
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Old 08-10-2013, 02:18 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amaranthine View Post
Here's a somewhat relevant question.

Lately - meaning for a few months - I've been having an increasingly hard time balancing my obligations and my social life. Obligations meaning academics, preparing for school applications. I finish my work and all I want to do is enjoy being alone. (I'll specify that my work isn't stressing me out really. It's usually something that I don't mind and/or gives me fulfillment.)

I really enjoy talking to people through text, and that's never a problem. But I have an extremely, extremely difficult time pushing myself to engage in any actual verbal communication. Be it in person or phone, etc etc. Even if I know I'll probably have a good enough time, I end up really dreading the possibility of doing it.

Does anyone else have this issue How do you deal with it messing up your social life, when people get tired of not hanging out?
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dark Lady View Post
Almost the same problem here: I have issues whenever I feel pressured by people or circumstances into typing out written conversations, and will avoid doing so if I can most of the time. I detest feeling anchored to a conversation in which I have to meticulously type out every letter at a fraction of the speed I could be getting the exchange over with if I were speaking verbally.

But I did figure out somewhat of a solution for the dreading of actually doing things with people out in public. For myself, I figured out that after receiving the invitation to do something, I needed at least four hours (some days, six or more) of letting the idea sink in before the dread/anxiety/fucking introvert feeling dissipated and I could get ready for the event with impunity. If it's the Winter or Fall, I can need a full day's notice in advance.

But once I realized I needed the time limit to expire on the undesirability of the idea, that was the solution. I explained to my close friends that I needed the time between their initial invites and my eventual answers for the purposes of introvert bullshit, and we figured out how to work around it. Now that I know this works for me, I can actually look forward to the time limit expiring while I'm still feeling the dread, and it helps to alleviate the dread somewhat more quickly.

So you have to figure out how much time you need for the idea of going out to settle in deeper than the temporary dread, whether it's a few hours or a few days or (hopefully not) more.
I deal with similar issues myself. If I'm not entirely comfortable/warmed up to the person, talking on the phone or meeting in person is a pretty eh, socially draining thing for me. Obviously as an introvert it tends to come with the territory but, like you both said, it seems like it's more the prospect that you dread than the actual event itself. Once you take the time to assimilate yourself with the idea, or even force yourself to act on impulse, it usually ends up being a lot more fun and/or less uncomfortable than you were imagining--at least in my experience.

I think for me, it comes down to constantly over-analyzing everything and viewing life through pessimistic, worst-case scenario lenses. Frankly, it's a pretty shitacular combination .
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