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Old 10-14-2013, 12:03 PM   #1
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Default Intimacy issues

I was recently propositioned by a BBW female. She told me that for $60 I could have sex with her. This made me feel uncomfortable. I feel she does this routinely, as judging by her Tagged account, and its general demeanor, and pics.

My question, then, appears to be two-fold:

1. If I tell her I would maybe like to one day, but no to right now and for $60, what do you think will happen?

2. Why am I perhaps afraid of having sex for the first time with a nice BBW? Why does it feel like sex does not interest me, like I want her friendship more? Is that normal?

Thanks.
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Old 10-14-2013, 12:30 PM   #2
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She told you that you could have sex with her for 60$ and you are seriously ask these questions? I am sorry, but how old are you? Regarding the second question. What did you expect? That prostitutes are ugly, scruffy and unfriendly? Of course they are pretty, flatter you and turn you on. That is part of their job. You have to be aware that she does not see you as a friend but as a potential customer and that she treats every other potential customer in the same way and that she offers every customer exactly the same as she offers you. If you are willing to pay for sex, you know her price. If not, forget her.
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Old 10-14-2013, 01:53 PM   #3
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Last I remember, this kind of thing was called PROSTITUTION! Which is not legal in most states (and even to be considered legal has to be highly regulated, i.e. Nevada brothels) and if this is an online proposition, it could be monitored by the authorities. You may want to consider that before you venture forward.
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Last edited by fat9276; 10-14-2013 at 02:01 PM. Reason: typo
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Old 10-14-2013, 02:17 PM   #4
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I won't post up the picture of the user or what was said, but I feel the whole situation, and while I find her sexy.. This whole thing is pretty new to me, and yes, she just came right out and said it. "If you let me have $60 I will let you have sex with me" is basically exactly what was said.

So, while my age is somewhat older and stupid (at this time,) I may just let it all go, and forget this person.

And yes, I honestly wonder what she would say if I told her I was not interested in sex.. Why do I look for friends in all the wrong PLACES. Oy.
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Old 10-14-2013, 03:28 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by SprocketRocket View Post
And yes, I honestly wonder what she would say if I told her I was not interested in sex..
You really want to know? Just write her a mail, saying that you are not interested in sex and that you first and foremost will never pay for having sex with her but if she is willing to stay in contact with you under this conditions it is up to her to write back.

It would only take you a few seconds to write the mail and you get clarity but donīt be to disapointed if you get no reply.
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Old 10-14-2013, 04:25 PM   #6
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$60. for a good time is worth it......Get over it and enjoy a sexy BBW....Whats love got to do with it......You like what you see??????
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Old 10-14-2013, 06:13 PM   #7
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^
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Old 10-14-2013, 06:25 PM   #8
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Yeah, she showed her true colors.. I wrote back, said "Thanks, no thanks" politely, and now the result of that was expected.

Again, if I wanted sex, I'd have had my $60 out. But I did not...
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Old 10-14-2013, 06:38 PM   #9
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1) she showed her true colors when she asked you for $60 in exchange for sex... again, that's called prostitution.

2) you are showing yours by the fact that you even considered it and just said that if you had wanted sex you would have had your $60 out!

I mean, seriously?!?
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Old 10-14-2013, 06:43 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by SprocketRocket View Post
This whole thing is pretty new to me, and yes, she just came right out and said it. "If you let me have $60 I will let you have sex with me" is basically exactly what was said.

So, while my age is somewhat older and stupid (at this time,) I may just let it all go, and forget this person.

And yes, I honestly wonder what she would say if I told her I was not interested in sex.. Why do I look for friends in all the wrong PLACES. Oy.
It's "new"? Oh please. And a few weeks ago you were blogging about how grateful you were that you got talked out of spending $300 for a BBW Escort.

Knock it off, Joe. We know, and no one is buying this shtick.
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Old 10-14-2013, 07:06 PM   #11
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I think everyone gets that it's prostitution. I personally have no issue with prostitution and I generally have a lot of respect for sex workers (I live in a state in Aus where prositution is legalised). She obviously thought your conversations with her were leading somewhere other than where they were. But if that's what she was after, and you're not interested then it's good that it's all out there and she can move on to what she does and you can move on to find BBWs who will chat to you as friends. I think most of us on Dims are like that.
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Old 10-14-2013, 07:16 PM   #12
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1) she showed her true colors when she asked you for $60 in exchange for sex... again, that's called prostitution.

2) you are showing yours by the fact that you even considered it and just said that if you had wanted sex you would have had your $60 out!

I mean, seriously?!?
Does not compute... Did I not write back and tell her that that was not my interest?

It's not like I have friends that I can have casual sex with. Still, I told her "no," as the circumstances seemed not right...

She surprised me with the $60 for sex statement. I think I surprised her by saying no. If I said yes, I think it would be different that I would have accepted.

So, I'm not sure what is so wrong with saying that f I wanted it, I'd have had the $60 out..
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Old 10-14-2013, 07:22 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by fat9276 View Post
1) she showed her true colors when she asked you for $60 in exchange for sex... again, that's called prostitution.

2) you are showing yours by the fact that you even considered it and just said that if you had wanted sex you would have had your $60 out!

I mean, seriously?!?
I think that's reaching pretty far.

Quote:
Again, if I wanted sex, I'd have had my $60 out. But I did not...
So, I wrote her back, with a polite "Thanks, no thanks" and now sure enough its a never hear back from. That prostitute!

I should have known, though. Though I am still surprised she didnt want to be friends, like, normal friends. That is what I thought, going in.
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Old 10-14-2013, 07:29 PM   #14
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That asperger's is somewhat of a factor, here?
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Old 10-14-2013, 07:34 PM   #15
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Could it be that the man asked for advice, and he got jumped on? For crying out loud, give him a break. People pay for sex all the time. Its a business thats legal in some places. I didn't know that we were a judgment zone here.
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Old 10-14-2013, 08:45 PM   #16
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Default ^I respect what you're saying....

We all need more compassion. We are all better served by it. For anyone, from anyone. However: Advice without judgement, is-maybe like truth without context?

And, this guy is missing something. Age? Maturity? Life-experience? Either way, it's not, necessarily, 'a bad thing' to learn all about how prostitution is 'frowned-upon?' I mean, yes, it -is- legal. Except when it's not? Which is in, like, +99.9% of instances. I mean, it's like saying that it's legal....to wield a weapon. Or to defend-yourself. Or to modify your vehicle. Or to run a business. Or whatever. It's just a little bit more involved & complicated than "Oh-yeah, sure...why-not?"

And so, it's not, really, fat9276 who's being a bit...romantic...about things. Actually, she's doing him a solid in the v. basic warning that, if you are not smart about what it is you're trying to do, then you can very easily wind-up in an v. unpleasant situation. At least when it comes to stuff like this. On the legal side of things, yes, obviously-enough. But also just on the 'splainin' side of things. Or the nasty-gross side of the things, as well. So, best to "look- twice" for any guy in-general. Guys who've been around the block a few times, so to speak.

But this-guy, I think, is not so well-served to even begin a conversation with such a person. But, instead, to reflect more on what it is he really wants. And, of course, as has already been pointed-out, that he's basically wasting someone else's time?
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Old 10-14-2013, 08:49 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by SprocketRocket View Post
I was recently propositioned by a BBW female. She told me that for $60 I could have sex with her. This made me feel uncomfortable. I feel she does this routinely, as judging by her Tagged account, and its general demeanor, and pics.

My question, then, appears to be two-fold:

1. If I tell her I would maybe like to one day, but no to right now and for $60, what do you think will happen?

2. Why am I perhaps afraid of having sex for the first time with a nice BBW? Why does it feel like sex does not interest me, like I want her friendship more? Is that normal?

Thanks.
Are you saying you haven't had sex at all or that you haven't had sex with a plump woman before?

Normal? You tell me. If it doesn't feel normal to you, then it isn't. Generally, sex isn't about normality, it's about intimacy (for most). Friendship is also about intimacy, to a degree. All the advice in the world won't answer the questions about yourself that only yourself can answer.

Is this the first time you've been propositioned sex for money?? LUCKYYYY. Where I live, I can't make a snack run to the corner store without at least one down on her luck lady trying to flag me down/bullrush me when I park. I've never indulged (minus that one time in Tijuana back in '99, but that honestly wasn't my fault) because 1) it would feel like a tandem rape & 2) herpes is the gift that keeps on giving.

If you ever wish to pay for porkin', I'd suggest hiring a dedicated sex worker who is up to date on her test, and can prove it first.



Yakatori, YOU of all people are teeing off on someone else' ass burger's? PLEASE, MOTHERFUCKER.
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Old 10-14-2013, 08:57 PM   #18
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I..er..euh...resemble that remark.Ass-burger.jpg
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Old 10-14-2013, 09:14 PM   #19
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Are you saying you haven't had sex at all or that you haven't had sex with a plump woman before?

Normal? You tell me. If it doesn't feel normal to you, then it isn't. Generally, sex isn't about normality, it's about intimacy (for most). Friendship is also about intimacy, to a degree. All the advice in the world won't answer the questions about yourself that only yourself can answer.

Is this the first time you've been propositioned sex for money?? LUCKYYYY. Where I live, I can't make a snack run to the corner store without at least one down on her luck lady trying to flag me down/bullrush me when I park. I've never indulged (minus that one time in Tijuana back in '99, but that honestly wasn't my fault) because 1) it would feel like a tandem rape & 2) herpes is the gift that keeps on giving.

If you ever wish to pay for porkin', I'd suggest hiring a dedicated sex worker who is up to date on her test, and can prove it first.



Yakatori, YOU of all people are teeing off on someone else' ass burger's? PLEASE, MOTHERFUCKER.
How was that one time in Tijuana not your fault? Please do tell

Also, WTF do you mean by "it would feel like a tandem rape"


I agree with those who suggest SprocketRocket shouldn't be excessively castigated over this, but no need to include the potential money exchange issue. It seems your real issue is that you don't want to just hook up for a one night stand (or an ongoing pay as you go relationship) with some promiscuous woman. You want your first sexual experience with a BBW to be meaningful emotionally. Well there is no shortage of nice women who are looking for the same thing. So find one of the nice ones. Simple as that.
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Last edited by waldo; 10-14-2013 at 09:37 PM. Reason: changed my mind about this issue
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Old 10-14-2013, 09:38 PM   #20
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Let's cut to the chase. If you are chatting someone up and they ask you for money (for any reason, not just sex), you are being used. Run, don't hang around to discuss what ifs.
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Old 10-14-2013, 10:37 PM   #21
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You want your first sexual experience with a BBW to be meaningful emotionally. Well there is no shortage of nice women who are looking for the same thing. So find one of the nice ones. Simple as that.
Quoted for truth.

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Let's cut to the chase. If you are chatting someone up and they ask you for money (for any reason, not just sex), you are being used. Run, don't hang around to discuss what ifs.
Also quoted for truth.
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Old 10-15-2013, 06:42 AM   #22
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He is in the US. It is ILLEGAL in all states here except certain parts of Nevada (regulated brothels). It's not judging someone to think taking part in an illegal act is wrong. That's why it's illegal because it was decided by citizens and lawmakers that it is a criminal offense and the consequences of such could be/is JAIL TIME.
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Old 10-15-2013, 07:11 AM   #23
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He is in the US. It is ILLEGAL in all states here except certain parts of Nevada (regulated brothels). It's not judging someone to think taking part in an illegal act is wrong. That's why it's illegal because it was decided by citizens and lawmakers that it is a criminal offense and the consequences of such could be/is JAIL TIME.
I think what is illegal and what is immoral or 'wrong' can be 2 different things. Most citizens have little to nothing to do with lawmaking. For example, like most places in the world, marijuana is an illegal substance in my state. I do not believe that it should be illegal, nor do I judge anyone who decides to smoke it. Those who do smoke it know the legal ramifications and take that risk accordingly. It is not for me to judge, it's not harming me.

In my opinion, regulated and responsible sex work is a positive thing for any state or country. But that's another argument. My point is that whether something is illegal or not does not necessarily make it inherently good or bad or that the people who participate in it deserve to be punished or judged.
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Old 10-15-2013, 07:22 AM   #24
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He is in the US. It is ILLEGAL in all states here except certain parts of Nevada (regulated brothels). It's not judging someone to think taking part in an illegal act is wrong. That's why it's illegal because it was decided by citizens and lawmakers that it is a criminal offense and the consequences of such could be/is JAIL TIME.
Must be my fault now, hmm? *swims away*

Ok, as to what you said there.. I feel it is judging because you are presuming all this presumptuous stuff when I said I said no to the proposition. If the offer was an entrapment, with it all to see online in case law enforcement came looking or whatever, then the legally required correct response is "no, not interested" or something to that effect that says no.. it is no longer illegal for them to present the opportunity and give you a choice to choose yes or no, but you must choose no or you are in the wrong, as you said. Again, I chose 'no' so why all the extra, I am unsure.

How I felt about the female was more along the lines of the poster that said 'herpes keeps on giving' and this contributed to my decision to say NO, after which I never heard from her again.. Such is life, and this was a first. Thought I could be friends with that one. I suppose I was wrong, again.

Answered. Fed.

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Old 10-15-2013, 07:26 AM   #25
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I think what is illegal and what is immoral or 'wrong' can be 2 different things. Most citizens have little to nothing to do with lawmaking. For example, like most places in the world, marijuana is an illegal substance in my state. I do not believe that it should be illegal, nor do I judge anyone who decides to smoke it. Those who do smoke it know the legal ramifications and take that risk accordingly. It is not for me to judge, it's not harming me.

In my opinion, regulated and responsible sex work is a positive thing for any state or country. But that's another argument. My point is that whether something is illegal or not does not necessarily make it inherently good or bad or that the people who participate in it deserve to be punished or judged.
Well, for starting out online, and then going into a proposition-type scenario.. That was new to me. i said no due to concerns of being robbed, and that it just doesnt feel right.

if you really want to get into all the illegal activity that one can get into online, i think that's another conversation, but they seem to have been welded together on this one.

All I know if that I said [i]no[/b] and I lost nothing but a propositioner.

Now, next question: Was I solicited for that offer?
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