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Old 11-05-2013, 11:35 AM   #1
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Default Bigger partner on top

First off, apologies if there is another thread about this here, I had a look and didn't see any but I generally have a head full of air so one might have slipped through!

Anyway, a post in another part of the forum got me thinking about something. How many people here are intimate with the larger person on top? I have heard the odd person say that it wouldn't be possible etc etc but I don't believe that for a second and I would like to know what the rest of you think.

I have never been intimate with my partner on top, but I have had him lay his whole weight on top of mine when we were both lying on the bed (to prove to him that if he rolled onto me in the middle of the night it would be fine!) and it wasn't uncomfortable for me like that so I don't see why him being on top during love making would be an issue either (he is about 450lbs and I am around 180lbs). What do you all think?
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Old 11-05-2013, 01:38 PM   #2
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I haven't noticed any major problems/difficulties having any of my significantly larger partners in the past, on top. I dated a woman once who was the same weight as your boyfriend, and I weigh the same as you more or less.

The only complaints ever registered during or afterward, was joint discomfort. Being on top means figuring out how to lay and distribute your weight, not just on your partner but also on your arms and legs. It's just something to double- or even triple-check as you are experimenting with new positions.

Personally, I resolved the problem by lifting her off the bed with my hips, holding her hands to keep her from falling, until her legs were in a comfortable position, and then I lowered her back down onto the mattress. I also put pillows on either side of my head for her to rest her elbows on, which seemed to work well too.
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Old 11-05-2013, 01:47 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Extinctor100 View Post
I haven't noticed any major problems/difficulties having any of my significantly larger partners in the past, on top. I dated a woman once who was the same weight as your boyfriend, and I weigh the same as you more or less.

The only complaints ever registered during or afterward, was joint discomfort. Being on top means figuring out how to lay and distribute your weight, not just on your partner but also on your arms and legs. It's just something to double- or even triple-check as you are experimenting with new positions.

Personally, I resolved the problem by lifting her off the bed with my hips, holding her hands to keep her from falling, until her legs were in a comfortable position, and then I lowered her back down onto the mattress. I also put pillows on either side of my head for her to rest her elbows on, which seemed to work well too.
Thank you for the answer! I am always really shy asking these sort of things! I think you are right and that communication and understanding are enough to make these things work.
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Old 11-05-2013, 02:09 PM   #4
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I used to be worried about that all the time especially since my boyfriends have always been way skinnier that me, none of them ever complained or said it was impossible. As long as you communicate when something is uncomfortable or causing pain, you shouldn't have a problem. I am twice as big as my boyfriend and I'm on top a lot and we have no problems. not to mention he will ask me to sit on his lap when we watch tv, he has never once said I was hurting him or that it was a "problem". I'm sure it differs person to person though as everyone is different, but as long as there is communication, I don't see the need to worry. Sorry if I worded any of that funny, I'm kinda out of it today lol
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Old 11-05-2013, 03:32 PM   #5
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I am twice as big as my boyfriend and I'm on top a lot and we have no problems. not to mention he will ask me to sit on his lap when we watch tv, he has never once said I was hurting him or that it was a "problem".
Brings to mind a funny experience I had: This one woman awhile back was super, super nervous about sitting on my lap, or being on top of me in any way, shape, or form. Her concern was actually really endearing and sweet! But one time she inadvertently rolled over onto me while we were making out, and the funny part is that as soon as she realized she didn't instantly kill me but that I was perfectly fine, she went on about how nice and relaxing it was and looked for any opportunity to sit on my lap from then on.....

Makes me wonder who she's off sitting on now....?
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Old 11-05-2013, 04:26 PM   #6
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I go on top and I am a lot heavier than my boyfriend. He doesn't mind (I don't think?! Perhaps he's around here somewhere and will chime in...!) and I haven't squashed him yet! I can't do it for that long because my hips tend to seize up, but that's partly because my hips are wonky.

I've also had a heavy guy (about my weight) lie on top of me and it was fine, although I don't think we would have been able to have intercourse with him laying down flat on me coz there would have been too much mutual belly in the way, but we didn't try it.
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Old 11-06-2013, 10:09 AM   #7
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I have to be on the bottom. My ex told me all I can do is fuck up.
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Old 11-06-2013, 12:23 PM   #8
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Old 11-06-2013, 12:55 PM   #9
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I've never had any problems with someone significantly larger on top of me, in any context really. At some points I might have questioned the structural integrity of my ribs or wished I could have breathed a bit better, but I've avoided harm so far! I really can't imagine anyone having problems unless they're particularly brittle or have a partner who does...strange, particularly rambunctious things while on top of them.
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Old 11-06-2013, 02:06 PM   #10
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I have never had any problems with a bigger person on top. In fact it tends to be one of my favourite positions. If done wrong I imagine it could be quite painful, but as long as there is communication then it's all good.
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Old 11-07-2013, 07:21 AM   #11
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Don't forget that "I'm worried about putting my weight on you" could also be cover for "I'm worried about being able to support my weight/keep my balance/generally not screw up while on top" Guy on top often requires the guy leaning forward (depending on the particular geometry of the two of you), supporting some of his weight on his arms, while sitting upright means powering all thrusting from a kind of awkward position, not made easier by having to shift a lot of weight. And of course, if the heavier partner is nervous, they may be trying to keep some of their weight off of you.

So, just assuring them that you are OK may not really solve the whole problem.

Perhaps start with some compromise positions, like the lighter partner on the edge of the bed (or something like that) with the heavier partner more leaning on them than entirely resting on them?
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Old 11-07-2013, 01:21 PM   #12
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Default ^ What Tad said!

I've actually had a BHM partner (the only person I've ever been intimate with) fall asleep on top of me..... I don't know why that always sounds un-romantic, but to me it felt totally lovely and meaningful. Anyway, I fell asleep too - if I remember correctly - and I was totally fine for quite some time.

Also, to answer your actual question, a lot of the lovemaking happened with him on top too and I don't feel it subtracted from the experience at all. I got the "are you sure about this" on multiple occasions though, which I think is understandable. I'd say one trick to that would be having most of his weight on your abdomen instead of your ribs.

But yeah, mainly, I'd also have a definite think/discussion about the things Tad brought up Not even being the larger partner, I've certainly experienced some nervousness before when having most of the movement-control.
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Old 11-07-2013, 10:10 PM   #13
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I've had partners up to 600 pounds get on top. Weight wasn't an issue in itself. The issue is logistics -- i.e. can you access the important parts. Since fat distribution varies widely the gymnastics requires to get on target also varies widely. Some positions just don't work for some couples. Luckily a little creativity usually gets the job done.
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Old 11-08-2013, 12:11 AM   #14
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Old 11-08-2013, 10:05 AM   #15
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I was thinking about the topic recently. I has always been in favour of having my partner on top since I do go for BBW. I even try to have them sleeping on me. Recently a I become intimate with some thin ladies and a former BBW friend who become very thin. I realised I really like the way I lay on top of them and I would definitely like to spend a weekend with the former BBW to see if me like with all my weight on top her is as attractive as her lying on top of me.

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Old 11-09-2013, 09:36 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by krystalkeebler View Post
I used to be worried about that all the time especially since my boyfriends have always been way skinnier that me, none of them ever complained or said it was impossible. As long as you communicate when something is uncomfortable or causing pain, you shouldn't have a problem. I am twice as big as my boyfriend and I'm on top a lot and we have no problems. not to mention he will ask me to sit on his lap when we watch tv, he has never once said I was hurting him or that it was a "problem". I'm sure it differs person to person though as everyone is different, but as long as there is communication, I don't see the need to worry. Sorry if I worded any of that funny, I'm kinda out of it today lol
Love this description, as well as your profile pic!
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Old 11-09-2013, 10:40 PM   #17
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Love this description, as well as your profile pic!


Thank you
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Old 11-09-2013, 11:12 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krystalkeebler View Post
I used to be worried about that all the time especially since my boyfriends have always been way skinnier that me, none of them ever complained or said it was impossible. As long as you communicate when something is uncomfortable or causing pain, you shouldn't have a problem. I am twice as big as my boyfriend and I'm on top a lot and we have no problems. not to mention he will ask me to sit on his lap when we watch tv, he has never once said I was hurting him or that it was a "problem". I'm sure it differs person to person though as everyone is different, but as long as there is communication, I don't see the need to worry. Sorry if I worded any of that funny, I'm kinda out of it today lol
Definitely the best advice.
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Old 11-29-2013, 09:22 PM   #19
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I was SOOOO nervous about being on top for the longest time, because I was so afraid I'd crush someone haha. But my ex told me how much he loved the feeling of it, and once I saw it didn't bother him it all it was fine. Now that I'm comfortable with it, it's my favorite position
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Old 12-13-2013, 03:13 PM   #20
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Jeez, all I know is I love my wife on top, if she has the energy for it. I get to grab onto and caress her generous belly, as well as other parts, and it seems to drive us both wild. That said, she's only maybe 250 (I'm 180) so concerns about squashing, etc., may not be too relevant.
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Old 12-15-2013, 08:31 PM   #21
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Default Wife on top

I think this thread is great.

I for one love my wife on top above all other positions. She's about 360 maybe 350 (she's not wieghed herself in some time).

I love her being on top because it lets me soak her all in with my eyes. I know that sounds selfish, but I let her know that and it makes her blush (yes though we have 4 kids and sex is a regular part of our relationship, my wife is still quite innocent if that makes sense) and she loves me talking about how her body turns me on. But-also we have learned as she has gained weight over the last 12 years (slow gain from 140ish to current weight) when inside her while on her back, I don't seem to 'hit' the right spot. She still likes it, but admits she's not getting stimulated enough. So, she moved to on top, she's found that if she sits up to let me really see her and enjoy her body, she doesn't feel as much, but then she tried leaning forward a little bit, at first resting her hands on my shoulders that it opened up a whole new world of sensation for her and I 'hit' the right spot every time and it has resulted in her loving that position. Now, granted as she hit the 300 then 300+ weight, it would hurt my shoulders a bit for her to lean on them for long, so we did as mentioned earlier, she now rests her hands or elbows on pillows on either side of me, this lets her keep elevated enough for me to suckle on her boobs and for her to still be in that angle she loves best.

I hope this was not to much info, but just wanted to say a heavier partner on top is wonderful for some, especially me. So, if you haven't tried it, do. If you like it.... do it again.... and again.... and again.... If you don't at least you'll know for sure. I hope in some way this response helped.

Take care!
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Old 12-23-2013, 02:33 AM   #22
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Default Loving Her On Top

My Petite BBW has steadily gained weight to have nicely shaped her body. She knows my desires and enjoys dressing (and undressing) with me in mind!

She frequently mounts me and gets on top. Initially she had concerns about crushing me, but that has never been a problem. I also enjoy seeing her on top and on display and she gets the deepest penetration with her full weight bearing down on me. Over time I have learned techniques to lift and shift her body so that the momentum of her weight and movement create mutual pleasure for us.

It is important to be verbal and not shy about how to best shift positions and move her body.
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Old 12-23-2013, 02:39 AM   #23
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Default Loving Her On Top

My Petite BBW has steadily gained weight to have nicely shaped her body. She knows my desires and enjoys dressing (and undressing) with me in mind!

She frequently mounts me and gets on top. Initially she had concerns about crushing me, but that has never been a problem. I also enjoy seeing her on top and on display and she gets the deepest penetration with her full weight bearing down on me. Over time I have learned techniques to lift and shift her body so that the momentum of her weight and movement create mutual pleasure for us.

It is important to be verbal and not shy about how to best shift positions and move her body.
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Old 03-08-2014, 07:09 AM   #24
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I think most men on this site would like a big girl on top, very heavy girls have felt a bit worried or embarrassed maybe with me sometimes but we are strong men. The weight feels nice and looks great. It may take a few attempts to slot in.. It's fun adjusting belly butt and vagina fat
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Old 03-08-2014, 09:12 AM   #25
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Either way is fine with me, but yes having a female on top is just better in the bedroom
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