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Old 05-01-2014, 12:59 AM   #226
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Originally Posted by swordchick View Post
It is all about the fear of the big black penis. Men have asked if I prefer larger penises. They know that asking me a racist question would be very stupid. Shit, they need to worry about the non-Black men with huge penises.
In his own fetishistic way, many white men are absolutely unable to imagine that black men could have unions with white women that are based on love. Of course, the white man is the one who made up the myth of the big black penis. The myth was conceived in the Victorian times when black man had become emancipated from slavery and then got the right to vote. As soon as we got voting rights, the white men of this country conceived of black men as dangerous rapists with huge penises. The funny thing is it was the white man who spent 300+ years during the periods of slavery and segregation raping black women and making little high yellow babies.

This point about the white man's fixation with the black penis is particularly potent in pornography. While porn with two white people often shows straight out sex and sometimes shows affection, you will almost never see any affection in interracial porn. The makers conceive of the black man as an animal who is hurting the white woman in a way. Also, it's really crazy when you see all the white men who want to see their wives having unprotected sex with a black man while they watch. What kind of sickness is this????




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Old 05-01-2014, 03:09 AM   #227
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Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
i'm not going to try and understand people who rationalized all of the negative things Nazis thought about Jews ( as in have you ever dated any Jews) and started the holocaust. sometimes there is nothing to understand about hatred except that it is hatred and it's wrong period and to make it unacceptable. pretending it is understandable and okay as has been said here in this thread is a part of the problem and looks like acceptance -- so no. just say no to prejudice. it's not okay. no matter what people did in the past it never was okay. it never will be okay.
You're absolutely right. It will (and should) never be okay. Don't accept it.
So what and so, what now?
Hatred is wrong; while correct, is way too simplistic to use as a platform. People are obviously more complex than that. You can't force them to believe what you believe (no matter how right you may be) so in the end, it's just an opinion. If you don't understand your opposition how do you expect for the opposition to understand and relate to you and to elicit change in them?
Without change...the opposition wins.
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Old 05-01-2014, 02:30 PM   #228
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What kind of sickness is this????
ignorance, low self esteem and jealousy. Anyone who ask these type of questions do not realize that it can cause others pain. You can't always see what race someone is by looking at them. If race is so important, ask general questions first. Then ask more specific questions.
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Old 05-01-2014, 02:49 PM   #229
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Originally Posted by Marlayna View Post
"Asking a man if he ever dated a bbw before, would be a matter of curiosity, you wouldn't think less of him if he had or if he hadn't. It's a different kind of question, it's not loaded."
You're correct that it' not a loaded question, since there's somewhat of technical definition for that term. Like any question, some people will draw all kinds of assumptions about the p.o.v. of the person asking it or what might they infer from one answer or another. However, since they're not that person, they don't really know what the question means, just by itself. Outside of just being a question.

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Originally Posted by vardon_grip View Post
"...Several women talk about dating a "TRIED and true FA" or make statements like, "I will ONLY date an FA". There is a lot of fear or apprehension with entering into a romantic situation and seeking some commonality can ease that tension. ...It can still be prejudicial. Whether or not a man has dated a BBW before can be a very loaded question"
It's not a loaded question, per se. A loaded question would be if I asked you "Why did you eat all of my McDonald's French-Fries?" Because it presumes that: A) It was you who ate the fries. B) That they're McDonalds' fries and they once belonged to me. i.e. You can't really answer, much less approach it, without somehow dealing with those criteria. On the other end of continuum is an open-ended question: So, what kind of women are you into? Actually, that's both loaded & open-ended. Since it presumes that: A) you're into women of some kind. -and- B) it's not really answerable with just a Yes or No.

Generally, outside of a military-setting or traffic-stop or deposition (Yes, Sir. No, Sir. I don't know, Maam.), when two (normal) people are just getting to know each other, questions are not asked or considered in some sort of a rhetorical-vacuum, whereby the real meaning or significance of each is only considered independent or absent of any other context. But, instead, each statement (declarative, interrogative, exclamation, etc..) acts as a kind of spring-board. Or open-ended volley or serve which allows a recipient a number of ways to respond. To be original, creative, clever, demure, candid, etc... For example:

Question: "Are you into black guys?"
Response: "You know, it's funny you're asking, because I am one?"

****

Question 1: "Was that your ex-boyfriend?"
Response 1: "You mean the guy who just dropped me off? He's usually driving a Sebring-convertible? That's my old boss, Michael Scott..."

Question 2:"No, the other guy, who kept eye-balling the two of you. Or was it the car he was looking at?"
Response 2: "Yes! That's the other guy I was telling you about-before. Who used to be Michael's boss, that was really into soccer.... His name is Charles Miner. They both hate each other. And he is a complete-dick!"

Question 3: "That is so funny...just weird."
Response 3:"Yeah, the hilarity never ends."


****

Question 1: "Have you ever had sex with a black person?"
Response 1:" HmmIm not so sure. How do you define sex? How would you define black person? Like, do you mean only in real life?"

Question 2: "Uh..Nevermind."
Response 2: "..."

****

Question 1: "I'm sorry, but, for some reason, I can't get the Auxillary pick-up for an ipod to work. I thought maybe we could just listen to some CDs? "
Response 1:" ssSuRrre, I don't see wh...wtf is this?!? Nickelback - The State? Metallica - Load?! What are you not telling me?"

Question 2: "No, you don't understand. Remember, I told you? I bought this at auction. So, everything in here...is....original. From the previous owner?"
Response 2:" Oh, you ARE serious. That's cra-zy. So, you mean...even like the bumper stickers and this...religious-decal over here ...And you're just gonna leave it like this?...perfectly intact."

Question 3: "Yep. The whole thing. It's all one piece. One piece of work, totally mint."
Response 3:" *audible breathing noise* Fucking-amazing! That is so cool....And what about the air-freshener?"

Question 4:"Well, no; the air-freshener, I bought. But I had-to add that on in order to replace a comparable product. Actually, it kind of bothers me a little."
Response 4:"Well, what do you mean? Comparable like-how?"

Question 5:"It's pretty-much exactly the same, the exact same thing, except this one is orange and smells kind of orange-y and the old one was this purple-blue color that I'm not so sure what it was supposed to signify; because, obviously, almost all of the fragrance had expended. And, apparently, they no longer make it. At least, according to this one guy on Ebay who wants $14 for it."
Response 5:"Fuck-that! Then, I think, if you actually did that...it would be too...contrived. Like you just set this whole thing up. Then, I wouldn't be as into it....Can I put-in this Creed Cd?"

*commence musical intro. each staring tentatively, with just some faint degree of longing. Then begins making-out*


So, maybe, in that way, the complexion of the whole dialogue in its entirety might better help to contextualize the inherent meaning or idea in any one part of it? Which, in part, is what defines a real conversation, as opposed to an interrogation. Or debate. Or sales-pitch. For me, anyway.
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Old 05-06-2014, 09:34 PM   #230
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Well... I have found BBW of various groups bring up the race question - but, in life anything can happen...




Just only means that there has to be some trait or (combination of traits) that will draw you to that person





Well what one considers appropriate or not OR what is in the spirit of Honesty or NOT - is what others have said a matter of context. This is your view of things and at the end of the day Others have their view - that's life.....

I'm curious to the point of bringing Nazism into the mix- is this something you are searching for ....
so weird to see a black man fighting or the right to be a black mark on a white woman's past
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Old 05-06-2014, 09:38 PM   #231
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so weird to see a black man fighting or the right to be a black mark on a white woman's past
do you consider yourself a "mark"
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Old 05-06-2014, 10:06 PM   #232
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do you consider yourself a "mark"
nope, but white men who are asking white women about whether they date black men like it's some kind of a test certainly consider men like you to be a mark. if you are willing to be that "mark" that is up to you. but for me i personally won't tolerate it for the black men that i know. they aren't a negative on anyone's background. if you believe people have the right to do that to you and your character, that is your problem.
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Old 05-06-2014, 10:15 PM   #233
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Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
nope, but white men who are asking white women about whether they date black men like it's some kind of a test certainly consider men like you to be a mark. if you are willing to be that "mark" that is up to you. but for me i personally won't tolerate it for the black men that i know. they aren't a negative on anyone's background. if you believe people have the right to do that to you and your character, that is your problem.
1. you should save your pseudo-psychoanalysis for someone else...

2. As I said before if someone ask me the question - I have no problem with it - it all depends on the context - I have every right to follow-up with a question of my own.

3. Now if you see that as a "test" or "mark" that is your opinion and at the end of the day "your problem"
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Old 05-06-2014, 10:20 PM   #234
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1. you should save your pseudo-psychoanalysis for someone else...

2. As I said before if someone ask me the question - I have no problem with it - it all depends on the context - I have every right to follow-up with a question of my own.

3. Now if you see that as a "test" or "mark" that is your opinion and at the end of the day "your problem"
you are free to be some warped white man's heart of darkness if you want. no one is stopping you.
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Old 05-07-2014, 12:45 PM   #235
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nope, but white men who are asking white women about whether they date black men like it's some kind of a test certainly consider men like you to be a mark. if you are willing to be that "mark" that is up to you. but for me i personally won't tolerate it for the black men that i know. they aren't a negative on anyone's background. if you believe people have the right to do that to you and your character, that is your problem.
Guess it could be a test. I once asked a white woman (Italian American form Staten Island) I had gone on a few dates with the following question: "If you met a black guy who was absolutely everything you want in a guy would you date him?" She said no and gave the following lame excuse: "My parents wouldn't understand and I wouldn't want to hurt my parents." Her answer confirmed my suspicions. We stopped seeing each other a shortly after.
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Old 05-07-2014, 01:53 PM   #236
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Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
nope, but white men who are asking white women about whether they date black men like it's some kind of a test certainly consider men like you to be a mark. if you are willing to be that "mark" that is up to you. but for me i personally won't tolerate it for the black men that i know. they aren't a negative on anyone's background. if you believe people have the right to do that to you and your character, that is your problem.
I do not know why any black man would allow himself to be treated as a black mark on a white woman's past. I would NEVER tolerate a white, Hispanic or Asian American woman treating me like I am a black mark on her past. It is difficult for me to understand the low self esteem of black men who allow non-black women to treat them in such a degrading way. If a woman enjoys my company in private but is ashamed for her friends, family, co-workers and church family to see that she and I are dating, then she has a serious problem. I will not tolerate it; no self-respecting black man should. For this forum, let me add that no BBW should tolerate a man keeping her in the closet.



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Old 05-07-2014, 01:59 PM   #237
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Guess it could be a test. I once asked a white woman (Italian American form Staten Island) I had gone on a few dates with the following question: "If you met a black guy who was absolutely everything you want in a guy would you date him?" She said no and gave the following lame excuse: "My parents wouldn't understand and I wouldn't want to hurt my parents." Her answer confirmed my suspicions. We stopped seeing each other a shortly after.

Unfortunately, quite a few Italians in NYC have very racist attitudes about their daughters dating/marrying blacks. Recall the Bensonhurst incident in which a bunch of Italians killed a black man who was looking for a used car; they thought he was dating an Italian woman. Also, some Italians tried to murder my cousin when he was working in NYC because he was dating an Italian woman and her father didn't like it. The funny thing is my cousin is biracial but looks like his father, who is an Ashkenazi Jew.

I would never have anything to do with a woman who believed that dating a black man = hurting her parents. If the woman's parents have a problem with me dating her, she had better be willing to stand up to her parents no matter the cost.




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Old 05-07-2014, 02:05 PM   #238
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No racial, but I want to know why the hell white guys ask me if I date/fuck black men?

A) my love life is none of your concern
B) if you're a white guy and I'm chatting you up, why are you asking me these questions?
C) this is 2014.
good for u speaking you mind.. who cares what others think..
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Old 05-07-2014, 02:42 PM   #239
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you are free to be some warped white man's heart of darkness if you want. no one is stopping you.
I wouldn't lose any sleep over some strangers "heart of darkness"
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Old 05-07-2014, 03:19 PM   #240
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Unfortunately, quite a few Italians in NYC have very racist attitudes about their daughters dating/marrying blacks. Recall the Bensonhurst incident in which a bunch of Italians killed a black man who was looking for a used car; they thought he was dating an Italian woman. Also, some Italians tried to murder my cousin when he was working in NYC because he was dating an Italian woman and her father didn't like it. The funny thing is my cousin is biracial but looks like his father, who is an Ashkenazi Jew.

I would never have anything to do with a woman who believed that dating a black man = hurting her parents. If the woman's parents have a problem with me dating her, she had better be willing to stand up to her parents no matter the cost.




Just to set the record straight......It was Howard Beach, Queens in December 1986. Two innocent black men were minding their own business. A bunch of racist idiots beat one man, and chased the other one into traffic, where he was killed.
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Old 05-07-2014, 05:54 PM   #241
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I wouldn't lose any sleep over some strangers "heart of darkness"
next time you want a promotion, legal or social justice of any type etc.. you just might

but then again some people are perfectly happy not having the right to be recognized as a full human being. OMG I can't believe....lol
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Old 05-08-2014, 09:49 AM   #242
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next time you want a promotion, legal or social justice of any type etc.. you just might

but then again some people are perfectly happy not having the right to be recognized as a full human being. OMG I can't believe....lol
You do have a strange thought process ... The issues that I addressed involves questions that can come up in dating unless in your "mind/universe" you envision dating as getting some sort of "promotion" ....

And to address the issues of social injustice then I have dealt with these matters accordingly as they affected me.

It's fair to say that - we all consider ourselves "Full Human Beings".

By the way- Do you consider yourself a "Full Human Being"?
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Old 05-08-2014, 10:41 AM   #243
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By the way- Do you consider yourself a "Full Human Being"?

Well, since I just got back from lunch..yes.

In a few hours, not so much.
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Old 05-08-2014, 12:42 PM   #244
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By the way- Do you consider yourself a "Full Human Being"?

Well, since I just got back from lunch..yes.

In a few hours, not so much.
I tried to give you some "Bust A Gut Laughing" Rep but I can't.
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Old 05-08-2014, 02:19 PM   #245
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By the way- Do you consider yourself a "Full Human Being"?

Well, since I just got back from lunch..yes.

In a few hours, not so much.
Very clever comeback

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I tried to give you some "Bust A Gut Laughing" Rep but I can't.
Rep on the way
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Old 05-08-2014, 08:41 PM   #246
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"Guess it could be a test. I once asked a white woman (Italian American form Staten Island) I had gone on a few dates with the following question: "If you met a black guy who was absolutely everything you want in a guy would you date him?" She said no and gave the following lame excuse: "My parents wouldn't understand and I wouldn't want to hurt my parents." Her answer confirmed my suspicions. We stopped seeing each other a shortly after."
She sounds like a bad person.

But, it's just as well. Good thing you made it out of there with your life and to warn others. Before ending-up on a plastic-covered couch somewhere. Having to defend your (more than) familiarity with the significant cultural contributions of the (orginal) Rat Pack. And talk about which is The All-Time Best versus your own-personal-favorite NY-Yankee...
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Old 05-08-2014, 09:32 PM   #247
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I tried to give you some "Bust A Gut Laughing" Rep but I can't.
I added to the BAGL rep count for you as well.
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Old 05-08-2014, 11:29 PM   #248
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Guess it could be a test. I once asked a white woman (Italian American form Staten Island) I had gone on a few dates with the following question: "If you met a black guy who was absolutely everything you want in a guy would you date him?" She said no and gave the following lame excuse: "My parents wouldn't understand and I wouldn't want to hurt my parents." Her answer confirmed my suspicions. We stopped seeing each other a shortly after.
another racist assumption in that question. he has to be absolutely everything she wants in a guy before she can even consider it? i would run very very far away from anyone asking such a stupid question. sounds like two people who deserve each other.
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Old 05-08-2014, 11:38 PM   #249
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You do have a strange thought process ... The issues that I addressed involves questions that can come up in dating unless in your "mind/universe" you envision dating as getting some sort of "promotion" ....

And to address the issues of social injustice then I have dealt with these matters accordingly as they affected me.

It's fair to say that - we all consider ourselves "Full Human Beings".

By the way- Do you consider yourself a "Full Human Being"?
i can't believe i have to explain it lol. all of our social interactions around race influence social justice as well. if you feel one way personally and have the power to make any kind of policy decision either through a vote or a power position , how you feel and what you are allowed to get away with shapes it. people often think life is compartmentalized but it isn't. that's their mistake.
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Old 05-08-2014, 11:51 PM   #250
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"...another racist assumption in that question. he has to be absolutely everything she wants in a guy before she can even consider it? i would run very very far away from anyone asking such a stupid question. sounds like two people who deserve each other."
But he was only asking to figure out if she was racist. And to determine just how much so. Shouldn't that make it okay?
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