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Old 03-17-2014, 12:59 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by terpsichore View Post
ok speaking of being creepy or not-creepy:

most girls, when they see a guy they're attracted to - if they're fantasizing, it's about sex, right? please tell me that at least on this board, i'm not the only one who fantasizes about completely different things?

i feel like such a weird little creature sometimes...tonight i was at rehearsal for an Easter gig, and was (furtively, i hope!) sneaking glances at the accompanist. But rather than fantasizing about sex, i'm flustered wondering about how it would feel to rub his belly or grab his love handles, or wondering how much he could eat in one sitting and what his belly would look- and feel - like after an incredibly large feast, fantasizing about being squished by him, and getting extremely turned on watching him play with delightfully plump fingers while perched on the piano bench with his soft belly spilling out over his entire lap.
As some of the gentlemen have suggested, you're certainly not alone. What Tad said is spot on for me - it's really those things that provoke arousal that are fun to think about. And I happen enjoy the same things that you do! I suppose that leads me to have a question for you, considering you identified as "technically asexual" in a different post. Once you're aroused, do you enjoy - or at least tolerate - the idea of sex? I don't really get why other people seem to crave sex - as it's really the getting-aroused part that matters to me, with sex just being a potential end game to that - but I do enjoy it.

Also, I've never been able to figure out how the "average", per se, person handles sexual arousal or fantasy. Like...do people get immediately aroused if they see someone they're really attracted to? And I can't imagine being able to get aroused just by watching pure, vanilla sex. Boring :/
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Last edited by Amaranthine; 03-17-2014 at 01:02 PM. Reason: Felt compelled to be a tiny bit more verbose...
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Old 03-17-2014, 01:48 PM   #52
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I suppose that leads me to have a question for you, considering you identified as "technically asexual" in a different post. Once you're aroused, do you enjoy - or at least tolerate - the idea of sex? I don't really get why other people seem to crave sex - as it's really the getting-aroused part that matters to me, with sex just being a potential end game to that - but I do enjoy it.
yes, exactly. for me it's more like, what other people consider foreplay is the main event for me. i 'get mine' when we're cuddling and making out and i'm playing with his fat and he's squishing me and all that. but if a guy makes me feel amazing by doing all the stuff i like, i have no problem returning the favor and doing what he likes.
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Old 03-17-2014, 02:01 PM   #53
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And I can't imagine being able to get aroused just by watching pure, vanilla sex. Boring :/
hm. well, it depends. is there a fat guy in this hypothetical plain vanilla sex tape?

that brings me to another complaint. bhm porn. or lack thereof. maybe we should make our own.

scene 1: i meet a BHM at the ren faire (in costume of course) and we sneak off into the woods.

scene 2: loopytheone gets a mail delivery from a SSBHM in kitty ears.

scene 3: amaranthine goes to a tailor to get a custom suit. an irresistible BHM directs her to the dressing room and the rest is history.

Last edited by terpsichore; 03-17-2014 at 02:04 PM.
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Old 03-17-2014, 03:11 PM   #54
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yes, exactly. for me it's more like, what other people consider foreplay is the main event for me. i 'get mine' when we're cuddling and making out and i'm playing with his fat and he's squishing me and all that. but if a guy makes me feel amazing by doing all the stuff i like, i have no problem returning the favor and doing what he likes.

My grandparents, immigrants from Finnland, had a simple sauna down near a bay off of the river—this was in northern Ontario, where the rivers never really get all that warm. The best part about visiting them, when I was a kid, was the sauna. You’d sit on the highest bench you could stand—when I was little I had to use a stool that was lower than the lowest bench, but with years I toughened up and could move up to somewhat warmer levels, although I could never take the top bench if it was as hot as my grandfather liked it. Once you’d sweated so profusely that you were wet enough to soap, you did so.

And then, the best part.

Still starkers, in the cover of the night, you dashed along the path down the bank of the river, found the flat rock at the water’s edge, then dove head first into the water, kicking a few times while you were under water, pushing out so far that the soap suds had all sluiced off of you by the time you surfaced. When you did surface you’d sputter and gasp, from the shock of the temperature as much as from lack of air, then hurry back to get out of the chill water and back to the warmth….if you were lucky you might heat up and dash down to the river a few more times before you had to put on pajamas, march up to the house, and go to sleep. In the winter you’d rinse off with a bucket of water, but for that same release you’d later dash outside and roll around in the snow.

The heat of the sauna, and the coziness of the small wooden room lit only by a solitary oil lamp, the smell of the fire, the sense of adventure, were all wonderful. But all of that without the exhilaration of the dive into the water or the leap into the snow? Hard to imagine it, for all that the time in the sauna was 90% or more of the overall experience.

For that matter, I never had much desire to dive into cold rivers, or roll around in the snow, when I wasn't almost molten from the heat of the sauna. What fun would that be?

Which is why I dwell and imagine the whole scenario, imagine indulging in various treats, and so forth…in the end, the release of sex is also key for me. To me, the build up without the release, for all that the build up is much the larger part of the whole experience, is hard to imagine.

All of which is to say, I find it interesting to 'meet' people with such a different take on the whole experience!
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Old 03-17-2014, 03:16 PM   #55
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Originally Posted by terpsichore View Post
hm. well, it depends. is there a fat guy in this hypothetical plain vanilla sex tape?

that brings me to another complaint. bhm porn. or lack thereof. maybe we should make our own.

scene 1: i meet a BHM at the ren faire (in costume of course) and we sneak off into the woods.

scene 2: loopytheone gets a mail delivery from a SSBHM in kitty ears.

scene 3: amaranthine goes to a tailor to get a custom suit. an irresistible BHM directs her to the dressing room and the rest is history.
I'll take scene 3
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Old 03-17-2014, 03:30 PM   #56
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For that matter, I never had much desire to dive into cold rivers, or roll around in the snow, when I wasn't almost molten from the heat of the sauna. What fun would that be?
that's a really great analogy actually!

now this would be good for scientific study. put people into saunas and tell them they can do whatever they want. do the ones who plunge into the cold have more of an appetite for sex and the release that comes with it? and do the ones who avoid the river or ice room also prefer to stay in a state of 'warmed up' sensually?

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Old 03-19-2014, 05:46 AM   #57
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My grandparents, immigrants from Finnland, had a simple sauna down near a bay off of the river—this was in northern Ontario, where the rivers never really get all that warm. The best part about visiting them, when I was a kid, was the sauna. You’d sit on the highest bench you could stand—when I was little I had to use a stool that was lower than the lowest bench, but with years I toughened up and could move up to somewhat warmer levels, although I could never take the top bench if it was as hot as my grandfather liked it. Once you’d sweated so profusely that you were wet enough to soap, you did so.

And then, the best part.

Still starkers, in the cover of the night, you dashed along the path down the bank of the river, found the flat rock at the water’s edge, then dove head first into the water, kicking a few times while you were under water, pushing out so far that the soap suds had all sluiced off of you by the time you surfaced. When you did surface you’d sputter and gasp, from the shock of the temperature as much as from lack of air, then hurry back to get out of the chill water and back to the warmth….if you were lucky you might heat up and dash down to the river a few more times before you had to put on pajamas, march up to the house, and go to sleep. In the winter you’d rinse off with a bucket of water, but for that same release you’d later dash outside and roll around in the snow.

The heat of the sauna, and the coziness of the small wooden room lit only by a solitary oil lamp, the smell of the fire, the sense of adventure, were all wonderful. But all of that without the exhilaration of the dive into the water or the leap into the snow? Hard to imagine it, for all that the time in the sauna was 90% or more of the overall experience.

For that matter, I never had much desire to dive into cold rivers, or roll around in the snow, when I wasn't almost molten from the heat of the sauna. What fun would that be?

Which is why I dwell and imagine the whole scenario, imagine indulging in various treats, and so forth…in the end, the release of sex is also key for me. To me, the build up without the release, for all that the build up is much the larger part of the whole experience, is hard to imagine.

All of which is to say, I find it interesting to 'meet' people with such a different take on the whole experience!
I might need to de-lurk myself for a bit since I happen to know a thing or two about being in a sauna.

I know you posted your story to be an analogy about things going hand in hand. I'm not trying to dismiss this in any way, I'm just elaborating about the culture of being in a sauna.

In Finnish culture sauna & swimming go pretty much hand in hand. The Finnish summer cottages (kesämökki) are almost exclusively on the shore of one of the tens of thousands of Finnish lakes. Almost all of them have saunas right on the beach (rantasauna). This means that it's very common practice to go swimming when you become too hot in the sauna.

Now, most Finnish people have saunas in their houses/apartment buildings, which rarely are in a shore of a lake and thus don't have an access to go swimming. If you can't go swimming, you can always go outside on the balcony/terrace and sit on a bench drinking beer while your balls dangle in the crisp air and you cool off. You can also take a shower to cool off.

More extreme practice is dipping in a ice-hole or jumping in the snow.

Ice-hole is (like you might imagine) a hole which has been cut into the ice of an lake or the sea. People go into the (literally) freezing water and swim around for a couple of seconds or a minute. After that they go back into the hot sauna to get warm again.
This is done purely for the exhilaration of it, the change from the 90C (194F) sauna to 0C (32F) water is really something.

If you don't have an access to an ice-hole, you can always go outside and jump into a pile of snow naked and make some snow-angels. Although my neighbors might frown upon a fat man running outside naked and making snow-angels.
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Old 03-19-2014, 09:34 AM   #58
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The river beside my grandparents' farm could rise a few metres in the spring flood, which was the sauna was up the bank and you had to run maybe 10 metres to get into the river. Basically they built it as close to the river as they could without it getting damaged by the ice and water in the spring flood. (it was actually my great-grandparents who homesteaded the farm and built the sauna, my grandfather had only been 2 years old when they left Finnland).

The area had a lot of Finnish families....my mom's stories from growing up there are full of Finnish family names. Trust the Finns to settle in the granite hills of northern ontario instead of the highly fertile prairies....I think it was all so that they'd have rivers and lakes to jump into after their saunas!
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Old 03-19-2014, 09:51 AM   #59
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The river beside my grandparents' farm could rise a few metres in the spring flood, which was the sauna was up the bank and you had to run maybe 10 metres to get into the river. Basically they built it as close to the river as they could without it getting damaged by the ice and water in the spring flood. (it was actually my great-grandparents who homesteaded the farm and built the sauna, my grandfather had only been 2 years old when they left Finnland).

The area had a lot of Finnish families....my mom's stories from growing up there are full of Finnish family names. Trust the Finns to settle in the granite hills of northern ontario instead of the highly fertile prairies....I think it was all so that they'd have rivers and lakes to jump into after their saunas!
I believe most Finnish people immigrated to same places in the Americas. In the US the main destination for Finnish immigration was Minnesota, I don't know about Canada. It seems that the terrain & climate needed to be similar to Finland, home sweet home I guess.
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Old 03-26-2014, 01:20 PM   #60
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I wouldn't mind finding a kilt in my size.
Well, what size do you take? No guarantees, but I'm pretty good at finding things on the Internet. Just offhand, I see a manufacturer offering even waist sizes 30" - 52". (As they note, kilts are not pants and do not follow their sizing conventions. Never use your pants size for your kilt size.)

Also, add me to the list of Dims men who have been to renfaires. It's been a while -- I worked Scarborough back in 1989 -- but it was a lot of fun, and the clothes were tons (no pun intended) more comfortable than modern stuff.
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