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Old 03-11-2014, 02:18 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by Mordecai View Post

I'm cool with whatever, but, yo, I can't help but think a step back and a few more moments away from the posts will help. I don't like seeing someone feeling that they're unable to voice their thoughts and hope that agouderia will feel comfortable doing so sooner as opposed to later.
I couldn't agree more.

Let's focus on this outfit of yours instead. Spectacular. A fitting model for the rest of the board, though if anyone wanted to zoom out a bit more, I don't think we'd complain.


On the topic of more formal clothing - did anyone have to deal with uniforms in school? Like...I went to both a religious elementary & high school. And I remember distinctly in high school, the authority being SO strict about it because they wanted to foster a sense of pride in appearance and professionalism, and whatever else.

What's the result? I pretty much wear (the classiest possible, mind you) sweatpants/a sweatshirt to lab, and avoid taking my coat off so I can hide the fact that I felt like being as lazy as possible. I really don't think it could have backfired more.
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Old 03-11-2014, 02:26 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by Esther View Post
I feel like a lot of threads on this board get ruined by butthurt and over-reacting.
yea. people really need to take the stick out' there butts and stop being so damn sensitive!
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Old 03-11-2014, 02:28 PM   #53
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Originally Posted by loopytheone View Post
I don't see how I 'flipped out'. And it wasn't their opinion I was 'berating', it was the fact that they went an slagged off a load of pictures of people without their permission. If I went on the main board and started a thread where I went through the pictures that the BBW put on the 'pictures of you living' thread and described each one I didn't like and called them fashion disasters and said that they shouldn't wear that, there would be uproar. I don't see why it is okay to do that to the men that post here just because they are men and we are women.
you flip out a lot with your opinions.
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Old 03-11-2014, 03:01 PM   #54
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Originally Posted by Amaranthine View Post
I couldn't agree more.

Let's focus on this outfit of yours instead. Spectacular. A fitting model for the rest of the board, though if anyone wanted to zoom out a bit more, I don't think we'd complain.


On the topic of more formal clothing - did anyone have to deal with uniforms in school? Like...I went to both a religious elementary & high school. And I remember distinctly in high school, the authority being SO strict about it because they wanted to foster a sense of pride in appearance and professionalism, and whatever else.

What's the result? I pretty much wear (the classiest possible, mind you) sweatpants/a sweatshirt to lab, and avoid taking my coat off so I can hide the fact that I felt like being as lazy as possible. I really don't think it could have backfired more.
I went to public school, but my parents are religious. I was in church alot so I had to dress up. I hate dressing up. It is probably the reason why I hate skirts and dresses. However, that being said, I dress up when I need to. I wear my cute dressed or skirts.. or tight jeans and revealing top when I go out to the club, because I want to be noticed. I want people to say she looks nice, with the inevitable (even for a big girl).

Don't get me wrong, I love my sweats. I wear sweats around the house all weekend and I wear them out to run errands. I do not wear them to go to lunch or dinner or brunch with friends. There are things you have to dress up for.. it is part of life.
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Old 03-11-2014, 07:09 PM   #55
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It's funny, because I think Leo addressed any concerns with this kind of thread immediately:
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Originally Posted by LeoGibson View Post

Actually, this isn't a bad idea ladies, but I would refrain from tearing apart someone else's choices unless they asked for it. Some guys a little touchy about that kind of thing.
I think (and if I'm putting words in anyone's mouth, I'm sorry) that the reason why some people posted defensively in this thread was that the topic was approached poorly. Posters immediately started attacking people's fashion choices without consent. That's just going to leave a bad taste in some people's mouths. Especially because fat people are constantly being judged for their appearance, and it's coming from people who supposedly "admire" you. It just seems to have created a weird dynamic. But that's just my interpretation.

But I don't think this thread is necessarily a bad idea. A bit of constructive criticism (read: constructive criticism, NOT judgment) can't hurt.
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Old 03-11-2014, 07:38 PM   #56
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Perhaps there would be less butthurt if people talked about what they LIKED, not specifically what makes them hurl.
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Old 03-11-2014, 10:24 PM   #57
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Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable as long as it's clean. How am I supposed to avoid douches wearing Ed Harvey and those ridiculous "OBEY" shirts if I give them hints about camouflage in here?
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Old 03-12-2014, 07:04 AM   #58
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A 'few' thoughts, somewhat randomly thrown together into one post. In other words: GIANT WALL OF TEXT INCOMING, RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!!!

First, here is my take on the justification for big people being militantly anti-fashion.

Most of the fashion industry conveys the message that if you are at all fat, you’ve already lost the fashion game. Therefore to make it look like you are trying to play that game, if you are fat, can seem foolish; not only can you never win, you can also make yourself look too clueless to know that you can’t win. Like being the uncoordinated kid trying out for the school basketball team. Bad enough to lose, worse to look foolish. So the safest bet then is to avoid the game as much as possible, right? And that means making it clear to all and sundry that you are not playing that game

An extension of that would be that you should never try to get involved with anyone—romantically or even as friends—who expects you to play that game, because on top of all of the above you also end being a disappointment to them, for either not playing or playing and looking the foolish loser. This would argue that you should actually advertise your anti-fashion status all the more strongly in social situations where you might hope to make friends or even a romantic partner. You might miss out on starting something, but in the long run it is safest to only connect with people who can accept you at your most anti-fashion state. Or to put it another way, you aren’t dressing to impress, you are dressing to weed out anyone who would ever expect you to dress to impress.

Second….on the other hand, what Agouderia said about how we present ourselves being a powerful unspoken language is totally true in my experience. This was driven home to me while I was working at my first job, where the dress code was shirt and tie for men, with suits if a customer was visiting. On hot summer days if I was going to walk or bike home, I’d often bring t-shirt and shorts to change into after work. There was a mall somewhat on my way home, that I’d often stop at, to shop for myself, for gifts for my girlfriend, to pick up a cable for my stereo, to grab a sandwich…all sorts of things. The way I was treated varied very much with how I was dressed. It was by far strongest if I was shopping for my girlfriend (had to practically peel saleswomen off if I walked in wearing a suit), but it was even the case at the food court or the electronics store, where the clothes wouldn’t so much signal how much I was apt to spend.

So it feels to me that the anti-fashion stance is a bit of a case of cutting off your nose to spite your face. Like being the uncoordinated kid who, knowing he can’t make the school basketball team then decides that he won’t do any exercise at all, because he’s not good at it.

Third, micro-cultures vary, a LOT. As I said, in my first job the dress code was shirt and tie. Less than ten years later I worked at a company where, on an average day, if I wore a dress shirt to work I’d get teased, being asked “Got a job interview somewhere else today?” or the like. As another example, in university I was in a co-op program where we alternated work and school every four months, meaning you needed a suit for interviews, shirts and ties and dress slacks for work, all of which were expensive-ish clothes that you didn’t want to wear out at school, so on a student budget we all wore cheap t-shirts and jeans, or the like, during school terms—and this was a point of pride in the engineering faculty. To dress casual-fancy, as you might see more often on other campuses, was to break the unwritten code.

In other words, how you dress communicates a lot, but the language varies by micro-culture. Or to put it another way, “dressing to impress” can make you seem like a pretentious git, if you do it in the wrong way in the wrong place.

Fourth, my personal solution is to dress defensively. That is, to figure out the most unremarkable clothing choices for my environment, that I can find in an appropriate fit and budget. Given that about 90% of the trousers I try on sag in a giant “smiley face” across the front (I have too much bum and belly versus not enough hip for most standard cuts, so they don’t fit right) the ‘appropriate fit’ is often the most limiting factor. However I’m not even all that big, and the problem of appropriate fit and budget just get bigger and bigger as, well, the wearer gets bigger and bigger. I’m pretty sure that at some point trying not to stand out becomes much harder than simply choosing in what way you’ll stand out—and doing so in t-shirt and jeans is probably cheaper and more comfortable than doing so in most other things.

Fifth, there is a somewhat legitimate, in my opinion, reason to care about “your tribe.” Specifically, if you are fat, or like fat people, of course you have a selfish interest in how fat people portray themselves. To use a comparison that I probably lean on too much, tattoos would probably be (and especially would have been) more acceptable in broader society if they were not so heavily associated with marginalized groups like bikers, gangsters, and prisoners. When I was growing up, to have a visible tattoo was taken to say not that you thought it was pretty or that you liked body modification, but that you aspired to associate with those groups.

In a society where being fat has associations with poverty, poorer immigrant groups, and ‘hicks’, it probably benefits every fat person and FA when a fat person portrays themselves as successful, well-off, and cultured. The more people see fat people who look that way, the more apt those other associations are to slowly wither away. The problem is that to be that fat person trying to make those statements at the moment invites cognitive dissonance in the viewer, putting the statement the clothes make in conflict with the pre-judgements about fat people. So by doing so you invite attention, and given how uncomfortable cognitive dissonance seems to be for people there is also a good chance that you are specifically inviting negative attention, because you are the source of their discomfort.

In other words, there is a public good in playing the fashion game in an appropriate, careful, strategic, sort of way, but it may be up in the air on whether it is a personal good or not. Does the status you claim by dressing that way get others to treat you better, or does it make you more of a target for anti-fat feelings (or more the point, if it does both, which is the more powerful effect)?

Sixth, as always, there is a teensy-tiny chance that I may have ever so slightly over-thought this issue
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Old 03-12-2014, 08:35 AM   #59
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Originally Posted by Amaranthine View Post
On the topic of more formal clothing - did anyone have to deal with uniforms in school? Like...I went to both a religious elementary & high school. And I remember distinctly in high school, the authority being SO strict about it because they wanted to foster a sense of pride in appearance and professionalism, and whatever else.

What's the result? I pretty much wear (the classiest possible, mind you) sweatpants/a sweatshirt to lab, and avoid taking my coat off so I can hide the fact that I felt like being as lazy as possible. I really don't think it could have backfired more.
Ohhhh man, this. This exactly! I don't know of a single school in SA that does not impose the wearing of uniforms. I mean, there are some minor positives to it, but I've never understood how these people managed to believe they were going about fostering those qualities in the best way.

The association of "compulsory 'professional' uniform = being stifled" is the one that sticks. I think high school is a good time to do away with that kind of thing and allow for the exploration of individuality to come out a bit more.... with some structure and supervision to it, of course.

Silver lining: ten years later I still so appreciate being able to decide what I want to wear every day, even within the confines of a dress code.

-----------------
ETA: Back to the more general topic - I can see how a certain way of dressing may come off to someone (from a different micro-culture, perhaps) as 'not even trying.' And then I suppose there's 'trying too hard.'

I care about fashion quite a bit, in the sense that I find it a fascinating form of individual expression, and for the reasons given above. But I'm not inclined to make either of those two assumptions too easily. I don't know why. Not trying to say it's because I'm a saint who never judges people - I do >.< With clothes, I guess, I just have a bit more of a..... relativist approach?
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Old 03-12-2014, 03:26 PM   #60
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Originally Posted by Tad View Post
A 'few' thoughts, somewhat randomly thrown together into one post. In other words: GIANT WALL OF TEXT INCOMING, RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!!!

First, here is my take on the justification for big people being militantly anti-fashion.

Most of the fashion industry conveys the message that if you are at all fat, you’ve already lost the fashion game. Therefore to make it look like you are trying to play that game, if you are fat, can seem foolish; not only can you never win, you can also make yourself look too clueless to know that you can’t win. Like being the uncoordinated kid trying out for the school basketball team. Bad enough to lose, worse to look foolish. So the safest bet then is to avoid the game as much as possible, right? And that means making it clear to all and sundry that you are not playing that game

An extension of that would be that you should never try to get involved with anyone—romantically or even as friends—who expects you to play that game, because on top of all of the above you also end being a disappointment to them, for either not playing or playing and looking the foolish loser. This would argue that you should actually advertise your anti-fashion status all the more strongly in social situations where you might hope to make friends or even a romantic partner. You might miss out on starting something, but in the long run it is safest to only connect with people who can accept you at your most anti-fashion state. Or to put it another way, you aren’t dressing to impress, you are dressing to weed out anyone who would ever expect you to dress to impress.

Second….on the other hand, what Agouderia said about how we present ourselves being a powerful unspoken language is totally true in my experience. This was driven home to me while I was working at my first job, where the dress code was shirt and tie for men, with suits if a customer was visiting. On hot summer days if I was going to walk or bike home, I’d often bring t-shirt and shorts to change into after work. There was a mall somewhat on my way home, that I’d often stop at, to shop for myself, for gifts for my girlfriend, to pick up a cable for my stereo, to grab a sandwich…all sorts of things. The way I was treated varied very much with how I was dressed. It was by far strongest if I was shopping for my girlfriend (had to practically peel saleswomen off if I walked in wearing a suit), but it was even the case at the food court or the electronics store, where the clothes wouldn’t so much signal how much I was apt to spend.

So it feels to me that the anti-fashion stance is a bit of a case of cutting off your nose to spite your face. Like being the uncoordinated kid who, knowing he can’t make the school basketball team then decides that he won’t do any exercise at all, because he’s not good at it.

Third, micro-cultures vary, a LOT. As I said, in my first job the dress code was shirt and tie. Less than ten years later I worked at a company where, on an average day, if I wore a dress shirt to work I’d get teased, being asked “Got a job interview somewhere else today?” or the like. As another example, in university I was in a co-op program where we alternated work and school every four months, meaning you needed a suit for interviews, shirts and ties and dress slacks for work, all of which were expensive-ish clothes that you didn’t want to wear out at school, so on a student budget we all wore cheap t-shirts and jeans, or the like, during school terms—and this was a point of pride in the engineering faculty. To dress casual-fancy, as you might see more often on other campuses, was to break the unwritten code.

In other words, how you dress communicates a lot, but the language varies by micro-culture. Or to put it another way, “dressing to impress” can make you seem like a pretentious git, if you do it in the wrong way in the wrong place.

Fourth, my personal solution is to dress defensively. That is, to figure out the most unremarkable clothing choices for my environment, that I can find in an appropriate fit and budget. Given that about 90% of the trousers I try on sag in a giant “smiley face” across the front (I have too much bum and belly versus not enough hip for most standard cuts, so they don’t fit right) the ‘appropriate fit’ is often the most limiting factor. However I’m not even all that big, and the problem of appropriate fit and budget just get bigger and bigger as, well, the wearer gets bigger and bigger. I’m pretty sure that at some point trying not to stand out becomes much harder than simply choosing in what way you’ll stand out—and doing so in t-shirt and jeans is probably cheaper and more comfortable than doing so in most other things.

Fifth, there is a somewhat legitimate, in my opinion, reason to care about “your tribe.” Specifically, if you are fat, or like fat people, of course you have a selfish interest in how fat people portray themselves. To use a comparison that I probably lean on too much, tattoos would probably be (and especially would have been) more acceptable in broader society if they were not so heavily associated with marginalized groups like bikers, gangsters, and prisoners. When I was growing up, to have a visible tattoo was taken to say not that you thought it was pretty or that you liked body modification, but that you aspired to associate with those groups.

In a society where being fat has associations with poverty, poorer immigrant groups, and ‘hicks’, it probably benefits every fat person and FA when a fat person portrays themselves as successful, well-off, and cultured. The more people see fat people who look that way, the more apt those other associations are to slowly wither away. The problem is that to be that fat person trying to make those statements at the moment invites cognitive dissonance in the viewer, putting the statement the clothes make in conflict with the pre-judgements about fat people. So by doing so you invite attention, and given how uncomfortable cognitive dissonance seems to be for people there is also a good chance that you are specifically inviting negative attention, because you are the source of their discomfort.

In other words, there is a public good in playing the fashion game in an appropriate, careful, strategic, sort of way, but it may be up in the air on whether it is a personal good or not. Does the status you claim by dressing that way get others to treat you better, or does it make you more of a target for anti-fat feelings (or more the point, if it does both, which is the more powerful effect)?

Sixth, as always, there is a teensy-tiny chance that I may have ever so slightly over-thought this issue
Assuming that some of this is referring to my posts in the thread, you are definitely over-thinking what I was trying to say. I'm not against fashion itself, I just think people should wear what they want if it's a style that speaks to them. I can't speak for others, but in my case, this is in no way a fat issue. It's just a general "wear what you like" issue. It's really that simple.

Yes, obviously we have obligations in our life that require we follow a certain dress-code but that's a given. My posts were mainly referring to the times that you're free to choose and wear what really fits your style personally. Although honestly, if I had it my way, no one would ever be forced to wear a tie and monkey suit ever again, regardless of the situation, heh. Unless they wanted to, of course.

I just genuinely don't put a whole lot of thought into this I guess. I feel I dress nice, but I do so in a way that feels right to me; I don't research styles in which to get the best response in a given situation, or anything like that. My two best friends dress so differently from me that you'd probably think we were from different circles entirely if you didn't know us, but they're still more similar to me than anyone else I've ever met, otherwise. I also have a long-distance friend who dresses in such an er, for lack of a better word, unorthodox way that you might question if it was even possible to buy some of it in stores. She really makes it work though and she looks great in it. She's also one of the most awesome, creative people I've ever met.

And again, I'm not going to argue that it's not important for many people, I just happen to look at it as one of those "sweating the small stuff" scenarios, personally. I'd much prefer to see people wearing what makes them happy rather than what society tells them makes them look the "best" in a certain situation.
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Old 03-12-2014, 04:21 PM   #61
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Just out of curiosity.. since this seems to be such a big issue.. if a BBW/SSBBW went to a club dressed grunge, (and it was not a grunge bar/club/rave/concert, etc.) stringy hair, baggy clothes, scuffed up shoes, because that is the style she likes.. How many of you men would approach her?

And be honest?

Chances are none would approach her because she would look unkempt. "dirty"

Yet it is expected of women to just go with the flow and date a man or look twice at a man that is dress that way. Talk about double standards.

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Old 03-12-2014, 04:30 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by lucca23v2 View Post
Just out of curiosity.. since this seems to be such a big issue.. if a BBW/SSBBW went to a club dressed grunge. Stringy hair, baggy clothes, scuffed up shoes, because that is the style she likes.. How many of you men would approach her?

And be honest?

Chances are none would approach her because she would look unkept. "dirty"

Yet it is expected of women to just go with the flow and date a man or look twice at a man that is dress that way. Talk about double standards.
Yep. That's ok with me. If she was my type I would.
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Old 03-12-2014, 04:33 PM   #63
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Yep. That's ok with me. If she was my type I would.
I will remember that big L
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Old 03-12-2014, 04:49 PM   #64
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Just out of curiosity.. since this seems to be such a big issue.. if a BBW/SSBBW went to a club dressed grunge, (and it was not a grunge bar/club/rave/concert, etc.) stringy hair, baggy clothes, scuffed up shoes, because that is the style she likes.. How many of you men would approach her?

And be honest?

Chances are none would approach her because she would look unkept. "dirty"

Yet it is expected of women to just go with the flow and date a man or look twice at a man that is dress that way. Talk about double standards.
I guess I'm a weird one then because I think I would actually find her more interesting because of it. Being totally honest here. I admire people that do their own thing, and I'd probably assume that we had more in common because of it (of course, that's not always the case.) I just can't see restricting myself from approaching/talking to someone simply because of their personal dress-code. I feel that you would miss out on meeting a lot of potentially cool people by living like that.

Just to be clear, all of the posts I've made have been in respect to both genders. I'm not a fan of double standards either.
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Old 03-12-2014, 05:02 PM   #65
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I am starting to like the men on Dims more and more.. lol

But good for you. There are exceptions to everything.
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Old 03-12-2014, 06:50 PM   #66
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For the last two decades I've worn pretty much the same outfit every day when not at work: Plain solid color cotton t-shirt (Fruit of the Loom size 4X, $5.99 @ Walmart), Cargo or carpenter shorts (Wrangler size 46, $17.99 @ Target), a plain black leather belt (I bought the one I'm currently using in 2003 at a Zellers in Hamilton), leather sandals replaced low-top hiking boots when I moved from Oregon to California. My attitude has always been if my outfit is not good enough for your establishment my money isn't either.
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Old 03-12-2014, 11:53 PM   #67
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....uniforms in school? Like...because they wanted to foster a sense of pride in appearance and professionalism, and whatever else...What's the result? I pretty much wear (the classiest possible, mind you) sweatpants/a sweatshirt to lab, and avoid taking my coat off so I can hide the fact that I felt like being as lazy as possible. I really don't think it could have backfired more.
I would guess that your high school administration considers you and cases like yours a mark of their own success. School-uniforms aren't about pride in personal appearance as much as eliminating class or other types of social distinctions. Really, taking pride in anything but that. Weeding out the open expression of defiant individualism and pounding into young-psyches the idea of being a cog in a wheel. Whose role, if not entire purpose in life, is to focus on studying hard and obeying instructors and authority figures. Conforming. Assimilating. And sublimating whatever competitive spirit into the more 'appropriate' channels of sports, academics, or civics.

At least for as long as it takes to pass whatever tests or earn certain marks. And demonstrate a certain degree of self-discipline for learning & personal development.

Then, as a "reward," you get the freedom to be who or whatever you want to be.

That you're not so interested in whatever vanities as much as your own intellectual development would suggest it might work to some extent.
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Old 03-13-2014, 06:31 AM   #68
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Assuming that some of this is referring to my posts in the thread,
meh, not really. After skimming through the whole thread, those were the thoughts running around my head. Really not responding to anyone in particular, and for the most part I don't recall who said what. More of a general brain dump.

I guess the one thing I didn't mention was that I thought the way people responded to Agouderia was unfortunate. I'm a big believer in "Miller's Law" which goes
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To understand what another person is saying, you must assume that it is true and try to imagine what it could be true of.
I didn't feel like there was a lot of willingness to take that approach to what she was saying, and it felt like there was some 'piling on' responses too. Not saying that she didn't phrase things in ways that were somewhat provocative, but it felt like her fundamental point--that we DO get judged by how we present ourselves--was maybe ignored? (at least, that was what seemed like the core of her point to me, with the rest being "...and therefore one should x, y, and z" and I think it was the way she phrased that latter part that upset people).

So, for those of you who are militantly casual in dress, I'm curious:

- do you agree that how we dress and groom ourselves play an important role in how people respond to us?

- are your casual choices a deliberate attempt to send a particular message about yourself, or simply a matter of comfort and convenience?
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Old 03-13-2014, 07:25 AM   #69
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The simple fact of life is that we are judged by how we appear. FIRST IMPRESSIONS matter!. This is not to say that everyone does this, but I would say 99% of humans do this. The other 1% being those that honestly don't care and the blind.

When people see you and don't know you or anything of you, they will judge whether or not they want to get to know you by how you present yourself. So why not put your best foot forward?

As unfortunate as this is, we have to keep that in mind when we get dressed. Do I like to dress up for work, NO.. but I do it because I respect myself enough to put my best foot forward. I am someone worth knowing and if my dressing up is going to help you notice me and get to know me, then I will do it.

Maybe what we need to do is stop complaining about fashion and help designers see that it is worth their time and effort to make fashionable things for bigger people at an affordable price.

JMT
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Old 03-13-2014, 09:32 AM   #70
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So, for those of you who are militantly casual in dress, I'm curious:

- do you agree that how we dress and groom ourselves play an important role in how people respond to us?

- are your casual choices a deliberate attempt to send a particular message about yourself, or simply a matter of comfort and convenience?


I suppose it does, but even so, I still dress the way that I'm comfortable with first and foremost and I respect others that do the same. That's how I've always felt about it. If someone chooses to ignore me simply because my dress-code doesn't suit their standards, well, I feel I've dodged a bullet quite frankly.

I honestly can't say that I've ever known anyone to do that, nor can I imagine why anyone would. I feel like if you're the type of person that cares that much about your perceived dress style that it would be much more likely you would "dress to impress" rather than deliberately wear what you think would send a lackluster message about yourself. I'd imagine that most people that dress casually whenever possible are doing so because they like it, and that the potential fashion perception behind it is probably not that big of a deal to them. Just my thoughts on it.

And with that, I think I'm going to bow out of this discussion. For what it's worth, I'm sorry for all the derailing, terpsichore. I have no issues at all with this idea and I hope things get back on track very soon .
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Old 03-13-2014, 11:27 AM   #71
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So, for those of you who are militantly casual in dress, I'm curious:

- do you agree that how we dress and groom ourselves play an important role in how people respond to us?

- are your casual choices a deliberate attempt to send a particular message about yourself, or simply a matter of comfort and convenience?
1. for sure, i agree with that

2. i'm not militantly casual, but i am militantly quirky when it comes to clothes.

i would say my motivation behind my style is simply that i wear things i think are comfy and adorable. what my style could also be saying to others? that i don't consider myself an actual adult and don't want to be treated as such, that i have a quirky artistic/creative personality and a vivid imagination, and that i loathe being thought of as 'womanly' or 'sexy' and am much more comfortable with going for 'cute'. all of which is true.

tl;dr: i think clothes send messages even when we're not consciously trying to make those statements. just by dressing in a style that apprals to you, you're showing people something about your personality.

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Old 03-13-2014, 11:31 AM   #72
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1. for sure, i agree with that

2. i'm not militantly casual, but i am militantly quirky when it comes to clothes. most days i either dress like a 10 year old (panda hat, glittery hello kitty shoes, t shirts and floofy tutu skirts) or i look like i just came from a Ren faire and forgot to finish changing out of my costume.

i would say my motivation behind my style is simply that i wear things i think are comfy and adorable. what my style could also be saying to others? that i don't consider myself an actual adult and don't want to be treated as such, that i have a quirky artistic/creative personality and a vivid imagination, and that i loathe being thought of as 'womanly' or 'sexy' and am much more comfortable with going for 'cute'. all of which is true.

tl;dr: i think clothes send messages even when we're not consciously trying to make those statements. just by dressing in a style that apprals to you, you're showing people something about your personality.
I hope this doesn't come off as an attack, because it's not, I'm actually curious and interested.

You mentioned you're a professor, what do you wear to work?
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Old 03-13-2014, 12:00 PM   #73
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I hope this doesn't come off as an attack, because it's not, I'm actually curious and interested.

You mentioned you're a professor, what do you wear to work?
fortunately i teach music courses. :-) so i wear whatever i want. music/dance/theater/studio art instructors can get away with a lot. i wore simple tan dress pants, a matching fitted short-sleeved jacket and black top with simple beige character shoes to my job interview. everyday teaching though, anything goes.

oops looks like i edited my post as you were replying to it. right after i wrote it i was like meh, no one really cares what i'm wearing today. but imho it's a fun game, to see how i can incorporate my favorite things into an outfit that looks whimsical yet still in the realm of contemporary and occasion-appropriate. today: fitted glittery panda t shirt, black leggings, tan corduroy jacket, and black rocket dogs that i found at a thrift shop for $10.

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Old 03-13-2014, 12:48 PM   #74
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& don't get me wrong, just because i think fashion is fun and interesting, doesn't mean i think people who don't are slobs or anything negative. speaking of college professors, both of my favorite teachers wore jeans and baggy shirts everyday. (and one of them was about 350 lbs and utterly gorgeous, so lessons were very motivating and distracting at the same time!)

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Old 03-13-2014, 12:49 PM   #75
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fortunately i teach music courses. :-) so i wear whatever i want. music/dance/theater/studio art instructors can get away with a lot. i wore simple tan dress pants, a matching fitted short-sleeved jacket and black top with simple beige character shoes to my job interview. everyday teaching though, anything goes.

oops looks like i edited my post as you were replying to it. right after i wrote it i was like meh, no one really cares what i'm wearing today. but imho it's a fun game, to see how i can incorporate my favorite things into an outfit that looks whimsical yet still in the realm of contemporary and occasion-appropriate. today: fitted glittery panda t shirt, black leggings, tan corduroy jacket, and black rocket dogs that i found at a thrift shop for $10.
Oh man...music professor?! We should talk ;-) I had something of a torrid affair with my college Piano/choral instructor.
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