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Old 03-12-2014, 11:50 PM   #1
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Default How to tell a non-FA

Hello All! First time poster here!
All of my sexual experiences thus far have been with experienced FAs and I am contemplating a sexual relationship with a non-FA (or at least inexperienced with fat women). I'm curious what some of you lovely people think would be a good non-awkward way to inform this guy of some of the little things that are different about an ssbbw like me (for example little bumps/skin darkening where thighs rub together, positions that don't work, etc.). Or maybe telling him isn't necessary? I just want to avoid the awkward! Help! Thanks!
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Old 03-13-2014, 07:50 AM   #2
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I wouldn't necessarily say telling him everything is necessary at first. I'd just see how things go (he might be more considerate than you think!) but be prepared to point things out & suggest alternatives as and when necessary. I know how you feel though - have a read of this old thread. It might help to allay some worries: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...ad.php?t=91974
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Old 03-16-2014, 06:03 AM   #3
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Thanks! I actually did read this one and found it to be helpful! I think i was just being nervous!
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Old 03-16-2014, 07:59 AM   #4
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I think you should just go with the flow. If he is interested in dating you and being intimate, I doubt there is much that will turn him away from it. Enjoy it.
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Old 03-17-2014, 06:38 AM   #5
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maybe it might help to remember that you're not an alien. you're just fat.
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Old 04-03-2014, 08:34 PM   #6
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If he's interested in you and he knows about your size, there is absolutely nothing to worry about. Just act natural, be yourself. It's gonna be OK.
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Old 04-09-2014, 07:47 AM   #7
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I would not tell a thing. That'd come across as apologetic right off the bat and you have nothing to justify or apologize for. If the guy really likes you and desires you, he'll figure it all out himself, with a bit of gentle help from you here and there as things are moving along.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tobytobes View Post
Hello All! First time poster here!
All of my sexual experiences thus far have been with experienced FAs and I am contemplating a sexual relationship with a non-FA (or at least inexperienced with fat women). I'm curious what some of you lovely people think would be a good non-awkward way to inform this guy of some of the little things that are different about an ssbbw like me (for example little bumps/skin darkening where thighs rub together, positions that don't work, etc.). Or maybe telling him isn't necessary? I just want to avoid the awkward! Help! Thanks!
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Old 04-09-2014, 02:42 PM   #8
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I agree with everyone above and would like to add part of a conversation I had with a potential lover. I had told him that I had disfiguring scars and that while I was proud that I survived them, I didn't want to just spring them on him, especially with rejection while being emotionally invested. He told me that there was nothing about my body that would make him reject me. And there wasn't.
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Old 04-09-2014, 09:19 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post
I agree with everyone above and would like to add part of a conversation I had with a potential lover. I had told him that I had disfiguring scars and that while I was proud that I survived them, I didn't want to just spring them on him, especially with rejection while being emotionally invested. He told me that there was nothing about my body that would make him reject me. And there wasn't.
absolutely. NO decent man who actually cares about you is going to run from your body. don't let anybody frighten you into believing that.
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Old 04-25-2014, 07:06 AM   #10
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I just dont deal with men who don't love fat women because that is just crazy. Of course you have the men who wants to be in the closet about their love for the big woman but I say go with what you know!
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Old 04-25-2014, 01:15 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HoneyBee View Post
I just dont deal with men who don't love fat women because that is just crazy. Of course you have the men who wants to be in the closet about their love for the big woman but I say go with what you know!
if he is hitting on a fat woman and dating a fat woman he is evidently attracted to at least one. don't over complicate it.

don't get brainwashed by the hype. a lot of men love fat women but won't love every last fat woman they see. thinking fat women are attractive is no guarantee of anything. if anyone thinks it is an automatic in where men are concerned they are going to end up disappointed. just because a man tries to be encouraging to you doesn't mean he actually is going to want you. if a woman says something nice and encouraging to and about a man and likes his "type" it doesn't necessarily mean that she is going to want him either. it takes more than JUST being fat etc...unless the person is really creepy anyway.

i've seen lots of people get involved in the community thinking that it was some kind of a free pass. it's not. you still have to be found attractive and you hopefully still have to find that person attractive. it doesn't hurt to entertain anybody who finds you attractive if you gel. no one has to be a part of a formal porn designation for you both to be able to do that. don't get so drunk on finding a community that all sense and reason flies out the window just because people are sexually attracted to what happens to be your type. there is still work to do on both sides. there are still people outside of the circle.
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Old 04-25-2014, 01:27 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
if he is hitting on a fat woman and dating a fat woman he is evidently attracted to at least one. don't over complicate it.

don't get brainwashed by the hype. a lot of men love fat women but won't love every last fat woman they see. thinking fat women are attractive is no guarantee of anything. if anyone thinks it is an automatic in where men are concerned they are going to end up disappointed. just because a man tries to be encouraging to you doesn't mean he actually is going to want you. if a woman says something nice and encouraging to and about a man and likes his "type" it doesn't necessarily mean that she is going to want him either. it takes more than JUST being fat etc...unless the person is really creepy anyway.

i've seen lots of people get involved in the community thinking that it was some kind of a free pass. it's not. you still have to be found attractive and you hopefully still have to find that person attractive. it doesn't hurt to entertain anybody who finds you attractive if you gel. no one has to be a part of a formal porn designation for you both to be able to do that. don't get so drunk on finding a community that all sense and reason flies out the window just because people are sexually attracted to what happens to be your type. there is still work to do on both sides. there are still people outside of the circle.
Yep. Just because a woman is (to quote Jamie Foxx) "cute in the face and thick in the waist" is no guarantee that every man who is attracted to fat woman will be automatically in to them. Guys are capable of being multidimensional in what attracts them to a woman. We do look at things like personality, interests, the vibe you give off, verbal cues, and the nonverbal ones as well.
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