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Old 07-02-2014, 12:11 PM   #26
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My answer is "no," because I'm eccentric: I tend to reject the whole assumption that sex is central to identity. I lay this pervasive cultural assumption (which was unknown before the sex-obsessed 20th century) at the feet of Freud, who played a key role in "psychologizing" our condition and making us think, not just that our lives are heavily shaped by subconscious forces, but also that those forces are themselves shaped by sexual drives. Where Freud advocated repression of a lot of our drives, the 1960s saw a semi-consensus around the reverse idea - we should liberate ourselves sexually, and this would liberate us as human beings because sex is constitutive of identity. Ya-hoo. The result is the parade of fetishists we see on talk shows droning on about how they love clowns, or are furries, or are asexual and proud, blah blah blah.

Now obviously sex is a big human drive, as it is for all animals. But so is eating and drinking. I personally don't see why my sexual preference has to be taken as any more "definitive of who I am" than, say, my tastes in food. (Not talking about moral positions like vegetarianism here - by "tastes" I mean just that). Nobody goes around saying that they love salty food and that that "defines their identity." That would strike us as fairly asinine.

My personal ideal situation, then, would be one is which people find partners they both love and are attracted to and move on, without society making a whole huge deal out of the body type of their partner one way or another: either because we come to agree that sex is an appetite like any other, and therefore not really worth elevating to the status of Most Important Thing in Life, or because we go in the other direction and revert back to older models of discretion about private stuff.

All that being said, OBVIOUSLY our intimate partners help to make us who we are. But their particular body type is only a small (if necessary) part of that much bigger relationship.
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Old 07-03-2014, 10:51 PM   #27
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I identify as an FA in only the weakest sense - I *admire* fat(ness), but it is not a core part of my identity, as I am not at all exclusive in this, nor is it by any length a guarantee. While I have a marked preference for softer women, this does not mean I am not attracted to women who are not particularly soft (really, my only criterion in this regard is "don't look emaciated" and "not so soft as to border on formlessness"). For example, as I work in retail: There are several coworkers - and regular customers - of various sizes and shapes in my store whom I am attracted to; some purely physical, others more metaphysical, a few a blend of both. Literally the only distinguishing factor common to all of them is that they have fairly small breasts. And at least one of them's a lesbian (which is blatantly pointless for me, as I am not female) = P

Ultimately, I value the person (I'm going to say "wearing" for lack of a better term) - or not wearing - the fat much more than the fat itself.

So, yes, an overcomplicated approach to Dromond's first reply = P
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Old 07-05-2014, 10:51 AM   #28
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Originally Posted by choudhury View Post
The result is the parade of fetishists we see on talk shows droning on about how they love clowns, or are furries, or are asexual and proud, blah blah blah.
Not sure it is right to class being asexual as a fetish. It is a lack of sexual attraction, no different to being bisexual or heterosexual or homosexual. For many years I identified as asexual and was never sexually attracted to anyone or anything until I was 23 years old. It is still extremely rare for me to find a person attractive and I would be more than happy in a relationship without sex so consider myself a grey-asexual.

Anyway, back on topic. I do feel that being a FFA is a part of my identity, yes. It is a preference that I have had ever since I was a child and throughout my life it has influenced my actions and my thoughts to some pretty high degrees. I don't think a single day has gone by since I was a little kid when I haven't daydreamed about the adventures or life of an overweight story/video games/own character. And I draw bigger women and men pretty much every time I sit down to draw, which is quite a lot.
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Old 07-06-2014, 09:04 AM   #29
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I identify as an FA in only the weakest sense - I *admire* fat(ness), but it is not a core part of my identity, as I am not at all exclusive in this, nor is it by any length a guarantee. While I have a marked preference for softer women, this does not mean I am not attracted to women who are not particularly soft (really, my only criterion in this regard is "don't look emaciated" and "not so soft as to border on formlessness"). For example, as I work in retail: There are several coworkers - and regular customers - of various sizes and shapes in my store whom I am attracted to; some purely physical, others more metaphysical, a few a blend of both. Literally the only distinguishing factor common to all of them is that they have fairly small breasts. And at least one of them's a lesbian (which is blatantly pointless for me, as I am not female) = P

Ultimately, I value the person (I'm going to say "wearing" for lack of a better term) - or not wearing - the fat much more than the fat itself.

So, yes, an overcomplicated approach to Dromond's first reply = P
As far as pure attraction goes, this is similar to my viewpoint (with an addition of the importance of shape). But finding this community led me to meeting a lot of people, learning concepts, and adding a new piece to my acceptance model. The preference in and of itself isn't really part of my identity, but the sum of the parts (acceptance, admiration, support) is. The curiosity hit me at a time where I was experimenting with a lot of things and develop my persona. I develop my eclectic interests during that time, and I do consider it important.

I'm glad many of you thought this thread was interesting.
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Old 07-06-2014, 01:52 PM   #30
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Not sure it is right to class being asexual as a fetish. It is a lack of sexual attraction, no different to being bisexual or heterosexual or homosexual. For many years I identified as asexual and was never sexually attracted to anyone or anything until I was 23 years old. It is still extremely rare for me to find a person attractive and I would be more than happy in a relationship without sex so consider myself a grey-asexual.

Anyway, back on topic. I do feel that being a FFA is a part of my identity, yes. It is a preference that I have had ever since I was a child and throughout my life it has influenced my actions and my thoughts to some pretty high degrees. I don't think a single day has gone by since I was a little kid when I haven't daydreamed about the adventures or life of an overweight story/video games/own character. And I draw bigger women and men pretty much every time I sit down to draw, which is quite a lot.
OMG, I like that word. "I'm a graysexual. I only want you for your mind."


In answer to the question, I don't identify as anything. I'm so many things, just as most people are, that it would be difficult to do. I have strong tendencies in some areas but it's not all I've got. Nevertheless I tread carefully when it comes to the parts of me that are a little unorthodox or unusual. I hate the idea of beginning a relationship with someone only to have someone go, "Whoah. When exactly were you going to tell me about this about you?" It is really easy to be nonchalant about certain preferences and go skipping along through the daffodils only to realize you completely forgot about this aspect of yourself that you should have mentioned months earlier. Even the strongest preferences aren't usually an identifier for most people but I try to keep aware that for some it may be a deal breaker.
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Old 07-06-2014, 05:19 PM   #31
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While I am strongly attracted to fat women, the attraction is only one facet of my personality. It would be naïve and stupid to hinge my attraction to a woman soley upon her looks. As people get older their looks change. Some women lose/gain weight because of pregnancy, emotional eating, diets or disease. If a woman has cancer, she might have to have certain parts removed in order to stop the disease from attacking her body. What really counts is if I like the person inside, so being attracted to fat women is not that big of a deal.


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Old 07-06-2014, 05:21 PM   #32
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If a change in your partner's appearance can change your feelings about him/her, then it isn't love.
You must spread some reputation around before giving it to Dromond again.

Can somebody rep him, please?


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Old 07-06-2014, 06:01 PM   #33
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I don't really identify as an FA. I identify as pansexual, because it doesn't matter to me what is or isn't in a person's pants, or what was or what might/will be. I'm attracted to the person and their personality, their intellect, their wit. Their body is a delightful package that comes with them. I've found people attractive all over the spectrum, thin, fat, short, tall, hairy, hairless...I do have a stronger preference for men over women, but it's not the deciding factor. Just like their weight isn't the deciding factor. I will love their body because it's their body, not because it's a certain size or shape. If their weight goes up or down, I'll still enjoy and appreciate it. Finding someone physically attractive is important, but it's more important for me to have the intellectual and emotional attraction with them first. I will find a man's fat body as appealing as any other if he's got me fired up upstairs first. I will love his body because it's his.

I can find someone attractive without being attracted to them, and I've found people attractive all over the spectrum. If they're not engaging my mind, they won't be engaging anything else.
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Old 07-07-2014, 06:15 AM   #34
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Just to say that, for me at least, saying that being an FA is part of my identity does not equal saying that I could only be involved with someone who is fat.

It is part of my identity because I notice fat, I think about fat, and a lot of other things feel to me 'kind of like liking fat feels.' But that doesn't mean that I controls me or over rules all other factors.
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Old 07-07-2014, 09:59 PM   #35
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Just to say that, for me at least, saying that being an FA is part of my identity does not equal saying that I could only be involved with someone who is fat.

It is part of my identity because I notice fat, I think about fat, and a lot of other things feel to me 'kind of like liking fat feels.' But that doesn't mean that I controls me or over rules all other factors.
Likewise, to say that being an FA is part of my identity does not equal me being only involved with someone who is fat as well. I do not believe that anything so complex as human sexuality can be so narrowly defined.
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Old 07-08-2014, 10:30 AM   #36
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Being an FFA is a very small part of my identity, yeah I'm attracted to fat guys and have had a thing for fat since as far back as I can remember, but I have other parts of my identity that for me, at this point in my life anyway, are more salient.
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Old 07-08-2014, 05:56 PM   #37
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I've been following this thread, trying to decide what qualifies as "identity;" but I'd say being even if it's not something I discuss much outside this forum (up until the time I got married, I think most of my friends just assumed I was asexual); being a female FFA is indeed part of my identity, along with all the other weird bits of my personality, whether positive or negative.
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Old 07-09-2014, 06:49 AM   #38
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](up until the time I got married, I think most of my friends just assumed I was asexual)[/SIZE];
By the time I started dating my wife, some of my friends were beginning to conclude I must be gay but was in the closet about it. Just because you don't run after everything with complimentary genitalia, people come to odd conclusions.
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Old 07-09-2014, 04:14 PM   #39
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Just because you don't run after everything with complimentary genitalia,
I get what you're saying, but now I'm picturing "complimentary genitalia" as the world's worst sales incentive: "Buy three pairs of underwear, and receive complimentary genitalia!"
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Old 07-09-2014, 06:06 PM   #40
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I get what you're saying, but now I'm picturing "complimentary genitalia" as the world's worst sales incentive: "Buy three pairs of underwear, and receive complimentary genitalia!"
That's a brilliant marketing ploy. Especially if they give you the opposite of what you've been carrying around all your life. You'll need to invest in a whole new undergarment wardrobe for your additional bits!
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Old 07-09-2014, 06:27 PM   #41
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That's a brilliant marketing ploy. Especially if they give you the opposite of what you've been carrying around all your life. You'll need to invest in a whole new undergarment wardrobe for your additional bits!
Well there's no point in giving you one you've already got. Or perhaps they could let you choose from a selection. Collect 'em all!
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Old 07-10-2014, 08:25 AM   #42
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Well there's no point in giving you one you've already got. Or perhaps they could let you choose from a selection. Collect 'em all!
I imagined looking down at my privates and having them say, "My you look lovely today. Your foundation is blended to perfection." Who wouldn't want that?
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Old 07-10-2014, 08:55 AM   #43
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I imagined looking down at my privates and having them say, "My you look lovely today. Your foundation is blended to perfection." Who wouldn't want that?
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 11-01-2014, 02:53 AM   #44
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Is being an FA a significant part of your overall identity? Has its significance changed over the years in either direction?
I live the lifestyle of an FA: I'm married to a SSBBW, I have fat friends, I'm part of the online fat community, I'm open about my FAness. So I must confess, I identify as an FA and I think it's ok.
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Old 11-01-2014, 12:29 PM   #45
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I am surprised by how many people said being an FA isn’t a significant part of their identity. It is for me. I think most people I know wouldn’t say that’s the defining thing about me, I only tell people if specifically asked. Usually it’s only BBW’s that ask anyways. So being an FA wont be written on my tomb stone.
But being one since around the age of 5, it is deeply a part of me. I grew up with a strong duality in seeing I am attracted to something society disapproves of. Though I am not gay, I feel I have a full understanding of what it is like to be in the closet. I have an intense dislike of bullies and people who make fun of others, especially if it is because of how they look/gender/race.. I early on understood that following what a crowd believe/likes is trivial. I might have still had these values if I wasn’t a FA but they would not be as strong.
I would argue I would be a different person if I wasn’t an FA. I spent about ten years of my life thinking I was the only FA in the world and was ashamed of it (5 through about 15). I wanted to be normal, and like the “regular” sized models. The internet made me realize I wasn’t alone. It wasn’t until I got away from high school that I felt comfortable enough to date who I wanted to. I would never want to change even if there was a “pray the FA away” solution.. I flat out know I would be a different person all together if I wasn’t a FA.
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Old 11-01-2014, 07:21 PM   #46
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With regard to the originally question:

Some times at work I double up with other utility workers (think two dudes in two bucket trucks) and I'm often in a situation where I am introducintroducing myself to the other guy when he loudly exclaims, "oh shit, are you THAT MEDIABOY, THE ONE THAT LIKES FAT CHICKS?"
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Old 11-03-2014, 04:53 PM   #47
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Yes I do consider being an fa is part of my identity. But only one part. I am a truck driver, a lover of hard rock music and a devoted husband and father. These things are what makes me ME.
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