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Old 10-11-2014, 11:59 AM   #26
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My fuck buddy isnt even really a friend of mine, so friend with benefits doesnt fit. I guess we could say he is a friend, but we don't hang out other than our sexy times and he's kinda mean and curmudgeony and not someone I would really want to be friends with. He is super hot, however and he loves putting his penis in my vagina.

We fuck. Thats pretty much it.
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Old 10-11-2014, 12:01 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
My fuck buddy isnt even really a friend of mine, so friend with benefits doesnt fit. I guess we could say he is a friend, but we don't hang out other than our sexy times and he's kinda mean and curmudgeony and not someone I would really want to be friends with. He is super hot, however and he loves putting his penis in my vagina.

We fuck. Thats pretty much it.
Which is why I think fuck buddy is a great term.
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Old 10-12-2014, 01:46 AM   #28
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just so heart breakingly sad on so many levels *sigh*
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Old 10-12-2014, 02:38 AM   #29
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just so heart breakingly sad on so many levels *sigh*
god damn you are an insufferable old fuck. we get it.
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Old 10-12-2014, 06:19 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
just so heart breakingly sad on so many levels *sigh*
Could you be more condescending and insulting? Just because it's not something that would be healthy for you doesn't mean it doesn't work just fine for other people. People have different attitudes about sex. Some people can't do casual sex, some people can. There is no reason to shame people just because their feelings about sex are different than yours.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:53 AM   #31
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just so heart breakingly sad on so many levels *sigh*
The problem with having sex with someone you don't even like, is that you're not "emotionally" available to find someone who you actually do like, and could possible love.
It may seem like fun at the time, but you're actually selling yourself short, without realizing it.
It's nice to get laid, but it's even nicer to get taken out.
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Old 10-12-2014, 10:49 AM   #32
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And sometimes that's the last thing a person wants.

I don't want to date at all right now, I have too much crap going on in my life. But damn, would I like some hot, dirty, no strings attached sex.

It is what it is.

Sometimes you don't have to overthink everything.
And sometimes fucking is just fucking.

Haha


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Originally Posted by Marlayna View Post
The problem with having sex with someone you don't even like, is that you're not "emotionally" available to find someone who you actually do like, and could possible love.
It may seem like fun at the time, but you're actually selling yourself short, without realizing it.
It's nice to get laid, but it's even nicer to get taken out.
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Old 10-12-2014, 11:10 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by Marlayna View Post
The problem with having sex with someone you don't even like, is that you're not "emotionally" available to find someone who you actually do like, and could possible love.
It may seem like fun at the time, but you're actually selling yourself short, without realizing it.
It's nice to get laid, but it's even nicer to get taken out.

How do you know whether or not SOMEONE ELSE is "emotionally available"?

I have emotional connections with other people, Im not a fucking robot.
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Old 10-12-2014, 12:54 PM   #34
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When I had a fuck buddy it was because I didn't want a relationship. I was getting ready to move and start grad school, I had just gotten out of a long term serious relationship. I didn't want an emotional connection, I needed to work on me. We'd fuck and hike but didn't need anything else from each other. I didn't want anyone who I had any responsibilities for. It worked great for me. Once I was ready for a relationship I started dating.
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Old 10-12-2014, 08:55 PM   #35
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Originally Posted by The Orange Mage View Post
god damn you are an insufferable old fuck. we get it.
thank you. what an awesome compliment but i prefer the "C" word
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:12 PM   #36
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Could you be more condescending and insulting? Just because it's not something that would be healthy for you doesn't mean it doesn't work just fine for other people. People have different attitudes about sex. Some people can't do casual sex, some people can. There is no reason to shame people just because their feelings about sex are different than yours.
or more honest. condescending would be me pretending i felt otherwise because somehow someone is not supposed to be some kind of an adult who can take an opposite opinion. IMO it is pretty pitiful to be allowing someone to touch you who doesn't even like you. if you don't get that i feel sorry for you too--and that's just the truth. now if somebody doesn't like that opinion they should grow up and not put it out here on a public forum for an opinion. nobody said anything about people having different opinions. this one happens to be mine. don't like it? too bad.

to some people it's insulting pretending like having sex with people who don't even have enough conscience to like the person who allows them to have sex with them isn't what can get you a case of the i don't care AIDS. remember that dude spreading it around to fat folk on craigslist and people coming right behind that post acting like meeting strangers on craigslist was safe?

i won't perpetuate the BS for the sake of the young people who come here. i'm going to call out an example of irresponsible behavior when i see it.

people can make up their own mind which position suits them.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:14 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by Marlayna View Post
The problem with having sex with someone you don't even like, is that you're not "emotionally" available to find someone who you actually do like, and could possible love.
It may seem like fun at the time, but you're actually selling yourself short, without realizing it.
It's nice to get laid, but it's even nicer to get taken out.
yep. they're taking up the space from someone who could actually do you some real good. and taking in negative energy from someone who doesn't like you that far into you isn't good for you either whether you're available or not. it's self abusive.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:20 PM   #38
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Just because one person didn't like their fuck buddy as a person doesn't mean all people don't like their fuck buddies. I thought mine was a nice guy, we just would not have been compatible as a couple and I had no interest in being in a relationship at the time. And having sex with someone you're not in a relationship with isn't inherently more dangerous than having sex with someone you're dating. Use condoms, have parters get tested, be smart. Not all fuck buddies are random dudes off craig's list.

You are obviously entitled to your opinion, but there is a difference between saying that casual sex isn't for you and you don't see it as a healthy thing and saying that people who engage in casual sex are sad, self abusive, and a lack a conscience.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:34 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by lille View Post
Just because one person didn't like their fuck buddy as a person doesn't mean all people don't like their fuck buddies. I thought mine was a nice guy, we just would not have been compatible as a couple and I had no interest in being in a relationship at the time. And having sex with someone you're not in a relationship with isn't inherently more dangerous than having sex with someone you're dating. Use condoms, have parters get tested, be smart. Not all fuck buddies are random dudes off craig's list.

You are obviously entitled to your opinion, but there is a difference between saying that casual sex isn't for you and you don't see it as a healthy thing and saying that people who engage in casual sex are sad, self abusive, and a lack a conscience.
i was talking about when they don't like you. if you have to prove to everyone that your particular situation was okay that's you. also if you take the opinion about a different situation as reflecting on you that is your issue. i wasn't talking about your situation. i didn't even know or care what your personal situation was. i didn't even mention casual sex. going by your response i think you have more of a problem with it than i ever would. i think you have a problem seeing the difference between having casual sex and sex with a person who doesn't like you or give a damn at all about you as a person.

whatever you do stop expecting other people's approval of your sex life anyway. if you are making a choice for yourself and it bothers you so much what other people might or might not think you have some things to deal with. maybe it's time you stopped bringing stranger's opinions into your bedroom or looking for their validation for what you choose to do for you.

i will say what i have to say however i please
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:48 PM   #40
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I believe the op was asking for tips on improving a physical sex act, not a moral debate, nor to be scolded or chastised for their choice. If you don't have anything helpful to offer, why not just shut up.
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Old 10-12-2014, 09:55 PM   #41
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Obviously, you've decided to derail this thread in favor of judging and offering nothing to answer the op question. I don't believe they were asking for your permission, acceptance, or thoughts about whether or not you approved or respected their choice.

Now, in response to the op actual question, my tip would be to be very direct, and ask for what they want.
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i was talking about when they don't like you. if you have to prove to everyone that your particular situation was okay that's you. also if you take the opinion about a different situation as reflecting on you that is your issue. i wasn't talking about your situation. i didn't even know or care what your personal situation was. i didn't even mention casual sex. going by your response i think you have more of a problem with it than i ever would. i think you have a problem seeing the difference between having casual sex and sex with a person who doesn't like you or give a damn at all about you as a person.

whatever you do stop expecting other people's approval of your sex life anyway. if you are making a choice for yourself and it bothers you so much what other people might or might not think you have some things to deal with. maybe it's time you stopped bringing stranger's opinions into your bedroom or looking for their validation for what you choose to do for you.

i will say what i have to say however i please
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Old 10-12-2014, 10:03 PM   #42
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I believe the op was asking for tips on improving a physical sex act, not a moral debate, nor to be scolded or chastised for their choice. If you don't have anything helpful to offer, why not just shut up.
this is my idea of helpful. this isnt a moral debate. it's about health safety and emotional health. watching out for those improves your sex life as well especially long term. how many people end up with all kinds of issues because they are carrying around sexual baggage picked up from people who didn't give a damn about the effects of the stuff that they did or said to them? tons. as usual a lot of you would like to pretend it's some kind of a moral debate but getting involved with someone who doesn't even like you has concrete risks. this isn't philosophy. it's about what can happen when you're involved intimately with people who don't care about you. people who don't care about you don't care if they give you STDs they don't care if they hurt your self esteem either. you mean nothing to them. i'm not talking about people you're not in a relationship with or you aren't in love with but people who don't even like you. i think you understand that but you want to deflect from what the real issue was that was brought up either that or you haven't read anything that was said.

if people here don't even know the difference between having casual sex and having sex with people who don't even like them i think the inexperienced people here should run as far away as fast as possible from any of this nuttiness.
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Old 10-12-2014, 10:12 PM   #43
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Again, nobody was asking for health tips, moral judgments, your opinion about having fuck buddies, or whether it was a good choice, they were asking for sex tips. I for one am sick and tired of other people telling me how to feel, what to do, and why I should do things the way THEY do. The world would be a much better place if people policed THEMSELVES more than they policed other people.
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this is my idea of helpful. this isnt a moral debate. it's about health safety and emotional health. watching out for those improves your sex life as well especially long term. how many people end up with all kinds of issues because the are carrying around baggage picked up from people who didn't give a damn about them from the stuff that they did or said to them? tons. as usual a lot of you would like to pretend it's some kind of a moral debate but getting involved with someone who doesn't even like you has concrete risks. this isn't about a philosophy. it's about what can happen when you're involved intimately with people who don't care about you. people who don't care about you don't care if they give you STDs they don't care if they hurt your self esteem either. you mean nothing to them. i'm not talking about people you're not in a relationship with or you aren't in love with but people who don't even like you. i think you understand that but you want to deflect from what the real issue was that was brought up either that or you haven't read anything that was said.

if people here don't even know the difference between having casual sex and having sex with people who don't even like them i think the inexperienced people here should run as far away as fast as possible from any of this nuttiness.
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Old 10-12-2014, 10:27 PM   #44
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Again, nobody was asking for health tips, moral judgments, your opinion about having fuck buddies, or whether it was a good choice, they were asking for sex tips. I for one am sick and tired of other people telling me how to feel, what to do, and why I should do things the way THEY do. The world would be a much better place if people policed THEMSELVES more than they policed other people.
i'm tired of people telling me how to feel and what to do too. so at least we have that in common. i never said how anybody should do anything. and i certainly haven't put how i do things out there. as usual people just assume. you don't know me like that so let's not pretend.

being safe both in terms of health and emotions is a sex tip whether you know it or not. people messing up your health and your emotions can really mess with your sex life. ask all of the people just on here who have had to deal with that kind of garbage.

whatever issue you have with people talking about your personal sex life is not something i can comment on. if you have an issue with it maybe you are putting your business out there too much with the wrong people.

ever notice that you are policing others take your own advice hon.

newbie fat folk really have to watch out on these forums. there are a lot of people who haven't had much more sex than you --and usually less, have very low self esteem and take what they can get no matter how bad. it doesn't have to be that way even if you aren't looking for commitment right now. actually don't ask for sexual advice from strangers anyway because you have no way of knowing what they are really doing and there is a LOT of lying going on especially online.
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Old 10-13-2014, 08:01 AM   #45
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Again, I (SUSHI) wasn't asking for health tips, moral insight, relationship advice, or anything of that nature. This was a question relating to getting what I (SUSHI) want sexually. I used that false name because of a lifetime spent worrying about what other people thought. I don't anymore. I'm a 51 year old woman and I will decide what I do. If I decide to have a fuck buddy, I will. I don't need your permission. I wasn't asking for it. Your advice is suited to a totally different thread. I'm sure you mean well, however, I wasn't asking your thoughts about any of the things you brought up. Again, I was asking for tips on how to ask to be taken care of SEXUALLY. THAT IS ALL. If you have anything to offer, I'd be greatly interested and fully appreciative. THANK YOU.

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Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
i'm tired of people telling me how to feel and what to do too. so at least we have that in common. i never said how anybody should do anything. and i certainly haven't put how i do things out there. as usual people just assume. you don't know me like that so let's not pretend.

being safe both in terms of health and emotions is a sex tip whether you know it or not. people messing up your health and your emotions can really mess with your sex life. ask all of the people just on here who have had to deal with that kind of garbage.

whatever issue you have with people talking about your personal sex life is not something i can comment on. if you have an issue with it maybe you are putting your business out there too much with the wrong people.

ever notice that you are policing others take your own advice hon.

newbie fat folk really have to watch out on these forums. there are a lot of people who haven't had much more sex than you --and usually less, have very low self esteem and take what they can get no matter how bad. it doesn't have to be that way even if you aren't looking for commitment right now. actually don't ask for sexual advice from strangers anyway because you have no way of knowing what they are really doing and there is a LOT of lying going on especially online.
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Old 10-13-2014, 08:53 AM   #46
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Forget it, it's fucking useless.
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Old 10-13-2014, 09:50 AM   #47
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From the Urban Dictionary: "Fuck Buddy: A friend or acquaintance whom you occasionally (or often) have sex with. While the sex might be serious, the relationship isn't."

I believe that you would probably not want that kind of relationship, and that is fine, so you won't have to worry about anyone referring to your relationship in such a way. I have decided that I'm going to be honest with myself, and not pretend that this relationship is anything more than sex. It was a mutual agreement between two consenting ADULTS. Nobody was being used, taken advantage of or misled. Why call an apple an orange?

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Everything else aside, I find your "FB" language a wee bit, I don't know...without being too schoolteacherish about it, crude. I would not want to be known as anyone's FB, nor would I refer to anyone else as a FB, even if that were the reality of the situation.

I'm criticizing your terminology, in other words.
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Old 10-13-2014, 12:44 PM   #48
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Meh. I was gonna go into what i meant when I said my FUCK BUDDY was mean, but I dont really give a shit about this anymore. We both like what we're doing, and I know if I needed help from him he would be around for me, but he's not the first person Im gonna go to for help. We have a lot of mutual friends, but he's not super-friendly with anyone. He's the Town Grump. I wouldn't be surprised if the kiddies pass by his house every Halloween.

But he's good-looking, treats me well when we're having a sleep-over and I dont have to explain anything to him. Its actually pretty awesome.
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Old 10-13-2014, 09:31 PM   #49
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good on you to clarify what you mean instead of giving inexperienced people the wrong impression.
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Old 10-13-2014, 09:51 PM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetie View Post
Again, I (SUSHI) wasn't asking for health tips, moral insight, relationship advice, or anything of that nature. This was a question relating to getting what I (SUSHI) want sexually. I used that false name because of a lifetime spent worrying about what other people thought. I don't anymore. I'm a 51 year old woman and I will decide what I do. If I decide to have a fuck buddy, I will. I don't need your permission. I wasn't asking for it. Your advice is suited to a totally different thread. I'm sure you mean well, however, I wasn't asking your thoughts about any of the things you brought up. Again, I was asking for tips on how to ask to be taken care of SEXUALLY. THAT IS ALL. If you have anything to offer, I'd be greatly interested and fully appreciative. THANK YOU.
i'm not giving permission. it's not mine to give. you should well know that. i never mentioned permission once. i'm 51 too BTW. but not everyone here is a 51 year old woman. even if you post about you, you aren't the only person affected. it's not all about you even if you believe it is.

also there are a lot of contradictions in what you have said here:

if you want to be taken care of sexually at 51 you should already know by now that you tell your partner what you want. it's odd that you even need to come here and ask people that at 51. to me it all seems like an underhanded attempt at self validation. and you have already said you were so afraid of other people's opinions that you changed your nick just to ask it. maybe you should either finally grow a thicker skin or keep it out of the forums.

at some point in your life people need to stop needing other people's opinions so much that they bring them into their private relationships --especially when they already say they know what they want. at some point we grown women need to stop pretending we are the ingenue in the room . at a certain age we are well past that crap. you know what you need to do for yourself so do it and stop trying to get people to tell you it's okay in some underhanded way. if you do need the moral support at least be honest enough to ask for it straight up. then just maybe you would have gotten it even from me. stop playing childish little games. that would probably help you out a lot with your fuck buddy relationship too.

i think people IRL have already told you what they think but you just don't like it. instead of going to strangers maybe you should pay more attention to people who actually know you and care about you for real. it's a whole lot easier to just go along with anything anyone says if you don't really give a damn about them one way or another. if you think most strangers online do that's on you.

you might not like what i have to say but at least i'm being straight with you and you can't say nobody ever tried to tell you.
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