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Old 10-13-2014, 10:02 PM   #51
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Unbelievable. Throwing the community under the bus based solely on your opinion on sex without love.

I think people need to stay away from your kind (the know it all) more than people who share their real life experiences and opinions. You're sick of people telling you how to feel but you have no problem telling people how they should feel. Pretty gross.


"newbie fat folk really have to watch out on these forums. there are a lot of people who haven't had much more sex than you --and usually less, have very low self esteem and take what they can get no matter how bad. it doesn't have to be that way even if you aren't looking for commitment right now. actually don't ask for sexual advice from strangers anyway because you have no way of knowing what they are really doing and there is a LOT of lying going on especially online."
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Old 10-13-2014, 10:11 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by Surlysomething View Post
Unbelievable. Throwing the community under the bus based solely on your opinion on sex without love.

I think people need to stay away from your kind (the know it all) than people who share their real life experiences and opinions. You're sick of people telling you how to feel but you have no problem telling people how they should feel. Pretty gross.


"newbie fat folk really have to watch out on these forums. there are a lot of people who haven't had much more sex than you --and usually less, have very low self esteem and take what they can get no matter how bad. it doesn't have to be that way even if you aren't looking for commitment right now. actually don't ask for sexual advice from strangers anyway because you have no way of knowing what they are really doing and there is a LOT of lying going on especially online."
i wasn't talking about sex without love i was talking about sex with people who don't like you.

i'm not telling people how they should feel about sex without love. but i was pointing out common sense that people who actually like you will actually look out for your interests and heaven forbid be kind and caring even when they don't love you.

goodness help all of the locally taughted pretense and fake indignation about somebody throwing the community under the bus after all of the things seen and noted both good and bad that have come out of it. it's not beatified. there is no holy water in the fat community. it's no different from the rest of the world.
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Old 10-13-2014, 10:30 PM   #53
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I was talking about the exact thing you bolded on your post and I quoted for reference.

And I stand by what I said. Your constant drama and know it all attitude is old. You're not the end all be all here and warning "newbies" is just another way of saying that most of the people here aren't to be trusted and that's based on...your personal opinion or did you poll the rest of the members here? If so, I missed that study.

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Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
i wasn't talking about sex without love i was talking about sex with people who don't like you.

i'm not telling people how they should feel about sex without love. but i was pointing out common sense that people who actually like you will actually look out for your interests and heaven forbid be kind and caring even when they don't love you.

goodness help all of the locally taughted pretense and fake indignation about somebody throwing the community under the bus after all of the things seen and noted both good and bad that have come out of it. it's not beatified. there is no holy water in the fat community. it's no different from the rest of the world.
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Old 10-13-2014, 11:37 PM   #54
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Originally Posted by Surlysomething View Post
I was talking about the exact thing you bolded on your post and I quoted for reference.

And I stand by what I said. Your constant drama and know it all attitude is old. You're not the end all be all here and warning "newbies" is just another way of saying that most of the people here aren't to be trusted and that's based on...your personal opinion or did you poll the rest of the members here? If so, I missed that study.
sorry i'm not sitting down for BS. time always tells.
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Old 10-14-2014, 08:23 AM   #55
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I wasn't asking for moral support or opinions. Perhaps YOU were looking to give them, but I wasn't asking. I was asking for PRACTICAL help. I was very clear about what I was looking for. YOU read your own thoughts and feelings into it. I believe your intentions are good (because I will give YOU the benefit of the doubt, unlike YOU, who have accused me of being odd, underhanded, thin-skinned and having other negative behaviors), however, in this instance you read way more into my request than was there. And you can continue to read more into it, but at this point it isn't about me, or anyone else. Its about YOU making sure that your opinions are put out and that's fine, but don't try to pretend this is about anyone else but YOU at this point. I liked the PRACTICAL suggestions. I thanked the people who gave them.

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i'm not giving permission. it's not mine to give. you should well know that. i never mentioned permission once. i'm 51 too BTW. but not everyone here is a 51 year old woman. even if you post about you, you aren't the only person affected. it's not all about you even if you believe it is.

also there are a lot of contradictions in what you have said here:

if you want to be taken care of sexually at 51 you should already know by now that you tell your partner what you want. it's odd that you even need to come here and ask people that at 51. to me it all seems like an underhanded attempt at self validation. and you have already said you were so afraid of other people's opinions that you changed your nick just to ask it. maybe you should either finally grow a thicker skin or keep it out of the forums.

at some point in your life people need to stop needing other people's opinions so much that they bring them into their private relationships --especially when they already say they know what they want. at some point we grown women need to stop pretending we are the ingenue in the room . at a certain age we are well past that crap. you know what you need to do for yourself so do it and stop trying to get people to tell you it's okay in some underhanded way. if you do need the moral support at least be honest enough to ask for it straight up. then just maybe you would have gotten it even from me. stop playing childish little games. that would probably help you out a lot with your fuck buddy relationship too.

i think people IRL have already told you what they think but you just don't like it. instead of going to strangers maybe you should pay more attention to people who actually know you and care about you for real. it's a whole lot easier to just go along with anything anyone says if you don't really give a damn about them one way or another. if you think most strangers online do that's on you.

you might not like what i have to say but at least i'm being straight with you and you can't say nobody ever tried to tell you.
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Old 10-14-2014, 12:18 PM   #56
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You don't even make sense. Haha


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sorry i'm not sitting down for BS. time always tells.
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Old 10-14-2014, 10:43 PM   #57
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Dearest friends,

I come in peace and kindness. I am NOT here to shame or judge people on their personal views on sexuality. We can't go wrong even if you tell me that you are a virgin, had many lovers or somewhere in-between. We all have choices to make. As long as it is between consenting adults and it's safe sex, I see no reason why we can't have a beautiful sexy time. But if you are seeking a more meaningful and emotional satisfying relationship, a fuck buddy is not the way to go. I highly recommend waiting for the right person. If not, party on dudes! LOL. But in ALL cases, please wear a condom and protect yourselves, my sweet ones. If you are too shy to buy condoms at the store, order them online from Walmart, Walgreens or other online stores. Just please stay safe and healthy. I leave some love here for each of you.


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Old 10-15-2014, 12:51 PM   #58
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Dearest friends,

I come in peace and kindness. I am NOT here to shame or judge people on their personal views on sexuality. We can't go wrong even if you tell me that you are a virgin, had many lovers or somewhere in-between. We all have choices to make. As long as it is between consenting adults and it's safe sex, I see no reason why we can't have a beautiful sexy time. But if you are seeking a more meaningful and emotional satisfying relationship, a fuck buddy is not the way to go. I highly recommend waiting for the right person. If not, party on dudes! LOL. But in ALL cases, please wear a condom and protect yourselves, my sweet ones. If you are too shy to buy condoms at the store, order them online from Walmart, Walgreens or other online stores. Just please stay safe and healthy. I leave some love here for each of you.


This message is being brought to you by kindness.
And what a beautiful messenger!
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Old 10-15-2014, 09:15 PM   #59
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And what a beautiful messenger!
Thanks, bbwbud. Blessings.
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Old 10-15-2014, 09:57 PM   #60
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it wouldn't let me rep you Mimosa !
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Old 10-16-2014, 11:03 AM   #61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mimosa View Post
Dearest friends,

I come in peace and kindness. I am NOT here to shame or judge people on their personal views on sexuality. We can't go wrong even if you tell me that you are a virgin, had many lovers or somewhere in-between. We all have choices to make. As long as it is between consenting adults and it's safe sex, I see no reason why we can't have a beautiful sexy time. But if you are seeking a more meaningful and emotional satisfying relationship, a fuck buddy is not the way to go. I highly recommend waiting for the right person. If not, party on dudes! LOL. But in ALL cases, please wear a condom and protect yourselves, my sweet ones. If you are too shy to buy condoms at the store, order them online from Walmart, Walgreens or other online stores. Just please stay safe and healthy. I leave some love here for each of you.


This message is being brought to you by kindness.
If you're too shy to buy condoms at a store, you're not mature enough for sex.
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Old 10-16-2014, 11:13 AM   #62
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it wouldn't let me rep you Mimosa !
Thanks! It's the thought that counts. :-)
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Old 10-16-2014, 11:16 AM   #63
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Originally Posted by Saoirse View Post
If you're too shy to buy condoms at a store, you're not mature enough for sex.
In some cases, this is true. But my point is, wear a condom! Make it easier for yourself to use protection no matter what!
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Old 10-16-2014, 01:53 PM   #64
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Amen, sistah!



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Old 10-16-2014, 03:11 PM   #65
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I never imagined that such a simple question would blow up into a debate. I have had a week that has shown me that its best to just sit back and keep my mouth shut. I won't be asking for any advice from anyone again in any public forum, and probably not in person either. I'll just figure things out on my own. It's not worth the stress. I'm sorry for the people that got attacked because I even brought the subject up. This is me walking away and keeping my mouth shut from now on. Good luck to all of you.
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Old 10-16-2014, 03:35 PM   #66
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I never imagined that such a simple question would blow up into a debate. I have had a week that has shown me that its best to just sit back and keep my mouth shut. I won't be asking for any advice from anyone again in any public forum, and probably not in person either. I'll just figure things out on my own. It's not worth the stress. I'm sorry for the people that got attacked because I even brought the subject up. This is me walking away and keeping my mouth shut from now on. Good luck to all of you.
Dont let this get to you! Some people feel the need to shit everywhere, but you eventually you learn how to step around it.
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Old 10-16-2014, 05:27 PM   #67
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It's a forum, this is how it works. You get the good with the bad and it probably never change. Taking it personally won't get you anywhere.

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I never imagined that such a simple question would blow up into a debate. I have had a week that has shown me that its best to just sit back and keep my mouth shut. I won't be asking for any advice from anyone again in any public forum, and probably not in person either. I'll just figure things out on my own. It's not worth the stress. I'm sorry for the people that got attacked because I even brought the subject up. This is me walking away and keeping my mouth shut from now on. Good luck to all of you.
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Old 10-18-2014, 11:02 AM   #68
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This thread is bugging me. I feel no closure.
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Old 10-18-2014, 07:09 PM   #69
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I'm a very inexperienced woman in my 50s who has just managed to establish my first fuck buddy relationship. For many reasons, this is the perfect thing for me right now. What I need is any suggestions on how to ask for more foreplay without offending him. Truth is he doesn't do any foreplay. He's very well-endowed and I think it has given him the attitude that all he has to do is bring his sword to the fight. Please keep in mind that he considers himself to be a "dom", used to describe a dominant partner in BDSM for anyone who isn't familiar with the term. I just want to get what I need, hopefully in a way that won't put him off. Any suggestions really appreciated. Thanks.
Fuck buddies need to be sexually compatible. I've been sexually active for over 30 years with multiple partners. Some of the ladies who've been kind enough to share their beds (or living-room floor) with me would love this guy. Others wouldn't put up with a guy who didn't spend at least an hour warming them up. Its also been my experience (both personal and second-hand) that guys are resistant to requests to change their sexual repertoire. Bottom line its easier to find a new more compatible fuck buddy (always lots of willing guys out there) than it is to change the sexual behavior of a guy who's not doing it for you.
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Old 10-18-2014, 09:06 PM   #70
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This thread is bugging me. I feel no closure.
One night's stand is another morning's shave and shower. It never ends.
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Old 10-31-2014, 06:01 PM   #71
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I figured I'd give an update. First, I want to thank those who gave helpful advice. I really appreciated it. Second, this foray into casual sex wasn't a choice that turned out to be good for me. I realize now I was trying to deal with a very painful breakup in a way that didn't help me at all. I don't want anyone to think that I'm saying that there's anything wrong with anyone having that kind of thing. Maybe someday I might try again. But for me, I realize that I'm just too heartbroken and this wasn't what I really needed. It was distracting me from dealing with my hurt, and I realize that I need to feel those feelings and get through them before I have ANY kind of relationship with anyone. AGAIN, I'm NOT saying that I think a friends with benefit, fuck buddy or casual sex thing is wrong, its just wrong for me NOW.
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Old 10-31-2014, 11:52 PM   #72
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Originally Posted by Sushi View Post
I figured I'd give an update. First, I want to thank those who gave helpful advice. I really appreciated it. Second, this foray into casual sex wasn't a choice that turned out to be good for me. I realize now I was trying to deal with a very painful breakup in a way that didn't help me at all. I don't want anyone to think that I'm saying that there's anything wrong with anyone having that kind of thing. Maybe someday I might try again. But for me, I realize that I'm just too heartbroken and this wasn't what I really needed. It was distracting me from dealing with my hurt, and I realize that I need to feel those feelings and get through them before I have ANY kind of relationship with anyone. AGAIN, I'm NOT saying that I think a friends with benefit, fuck buddy or casual sex thing is wrong, its just wrong for me NOW.
You sound very grounded now, and that's great. Give it time and value yourself, there are nice guys out there, and I hope you find one.
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Old 11-02-2014, 08:57 PM   #73
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Originally Posted by Sushi View Post
I figured I'd give an update. First, I want to thank those who gave helpful advice. I really appreciated it. Second, this foray into casual sex wasn't a choice that turned out to be good for me. I realize now I was trying to deal with a very painful breakup in a way that didn't help me at all. I don't want anyone to think that I'm saying that there's anything wrong with anyone having that kind of thing. Maybe someday I might try again. But for me, I realize that I'm just too heartbroken and this wasn't what I really needed. It was distracting me from dealing with my hurt, and I realize that I need to feel those feelings and get through them before I have ANY kind of relationship with anyone. AGAIN, I'm NOT saying that I think a friends with benefit, fuck buddy or casual sex thing is wrong, its just wrong for me NOW.
you were right before and you are right now. you're just like the rest of us. you do what you need at the time. you are the only one who knows what that is.
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Old 11-03-2014, 02:53 PM   #74
HeatherBBW
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HeatherBBW has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!HeatherBBW has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!HeatherBBW has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!HeatherBBW has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!HeatherBBW has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!HeatherBBW has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!HeatherBBW has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!HeatherBBW has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!HeatherBBW has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!HeatherBBW has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!HeatherBBW has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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I never imagined that such a simple question would blow up into a debate. I have had a week that has shown me that its best to just sit back and keep my mouth shut. I won't be asking for any advice from anyone again in any public forum, and probably not in person either. I'll just figure things out on my own. It's not worth the stress. I'm sorry for the people that got attacked because I even brought the subject up. This is me walking away and keeping my mouth shut from now on. Good luck to all of you.
Please don't allow the rudeness and misplaced judgment of others push you away from a community you reached out to. Sometimes a rotten apple threatens to ruin the bunch. Don't let that happen or that apple wins. It looks like you've been an active participant here, don't be pushed out from somewhere you seemingly enjoy being a part of.

And in an effort to get back on track to your original question, I think others that said to try to communicate your partner that you might want to try some new things or maybe try to encourage them before you get to the "main act" that you'd like a few openers. You can either have a serious discussion or maybe a playful one.

Most importantly, my advice to you is that if he is open to it, go for it. If he isn't and tells you he's not into that and has no plans on accommodating you in that way and you aren't getting what you want out of it as a whole, then consider a new partner that brings you full circle. Because we all know that's much more fun!
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Old 05-05-2015, 12:55 AM   #75
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You must have to won the trust of him and then you can say polietely what aspections you have?
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