Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > BBW Forum



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-15-2014, 11:40 PM   #1
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default Fat Girls And Older men

i was reading an article about how men past 39 are feeling invisible these days. i remember when i first found the community, there were a lot of older guys around who could attract very young women in their twenties. but that doesn't happen as much anymore or does it? i have felt for a long time fat folk are just mirroring the rest of society. you just don't see as many young women with men who are 15 or 25 yrs their senior as used to be common. or am i imagining things? how do you feel about the older man thing? what did you see in the past? what do you see now? what do you think is going to happen in the future?

here is the article that got me started thinking. it's a great convo starter re: the aging of men compared to what has been happening with women and whether things are the same or changing:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relat...omen-feel.html

Men become invisible at 39 - now they know how women feel

By Bibi Lynch12:37PM BST 09 Jul 2014Comments218 Comments
Now I hate other people’s bad news (that’s not wholly true — but I like to appear kind in print) — but this new DEVASTATING research did make me laugh. Quite hard, in fact.

A just-out survey - conducted by Crown Clinic Manchester — a hair transplant place, so I think we know where we’re going here — declares that men become sexually "invisible" to young women when they hit 39 years old.
That’s right, 39. The same age as David Beckham, Russell Brand, Leonardo DiCaprio and many men I’ve got off buses to follow, such has been their appeal. (I’ve never actually got off a bus* to follow a man. I’m making a fanciful point. *Always cabs)
The study says 52% of respondents believe that men lose their allure as they reach 40 — and 39+ men are viewed as father figures rather than sex symbols (because no-one has ever wanted to f--- a father, right…? Go away, Hugh Jackman. You and your active sperm) and the most obvious sign of this change (manopause?) is that women no longer eye-up these sad old gits in bars.

Of those surveyed, 54% said men not being chatted up on nights out was the clearest sign they no longer existed, sexually. The other "signs" are greying hair, double chins, thinning hair and having bad teeth. So far so utterly predictable.

In fact, I’ve never heard such nonsense. Sexual attractiveness has never just been about looks — and looks do not go to poop at 39! It’s about attitude and confidence and intelligence and wit and charm and, subconsciously, fertility. And you don't have to be married to a Dimbleby to know that men can still father kids well into their seventh decade — so this study doesn't stand up to rigorous scrutiny.

Me and the photo of Bradley Cooper I’m stroking as I type insist you 39-year-old men know what rubbish this report is. But if it has pained you, may I proffer a tiny HAHAHAHAHA? I’m no Miss Andry, but, boy, women suffer much more than men from such looks-ist attitudes. (Women’s perception of what’s attractive in the opposite sex is way broader and more forgiving. We will factor in personality etc; many men don’t.)
A 41-year-old male friend of mine recently told me he doesn’t go out with women over 23 because of how good 23-year-olds look. I’m 48. Imagine what my freckly face did when I heard those bon mots.

Still not convinced, though? Still worried you’re now invisible to the (sometimes) fairer sex? Then let me help you. Let me tell you how to make yourself not just visible but irresistible!

1. Grow a beard. I hate to be that person, but… They. Are. Just. So. Sexy. Truly. They’re masculine and rough and ooh! It’s only men who think they’re trendy-twatty. Women blooming well adore them. Hirsutes you, Sir! (Sorry.)

2. Step out of ‘broadcast’ mode. Listen, too. Nothing is as flattering as being really heard. (That’s why sweet intimate conversations melt hearts.) And nothing is as flattening as being talked over. I had a boyfriend once who would repeat what I’d just said - only loudly - and get the laugh. Megaphone-voiced git.

3) Get a job at an Apple Store. I can’t quite put my finger on it (for fear of breaking it) but there is something so delicious and enticing about men who work at Apple. Is it their passion? Their in-depth knowledge? Or the "You saved all my photos and therefore my life!" gratitude they stir in you? I don’t know. But I know women (and men) love them. A friend of mine works in an Apple Store in the States and said half his staff are "helping" customers out of hours. If you know what I mean. I certainly fixated on "Tom" at the Regent Street store. To the extent that when my friend Baylen came to meet me and my poorly Mac there - to go on to lunch - "Tom" was simply repeating "I have to go now, Bibi. I have to go."
Please don’t worry about this survey (or any survey for that matter). You are not invisible post-39. But to be on the safe side I suggest you stop shaving, quit talking and get yourself a bright blue T-shirt. Just in case.
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."

Last edited by superodalisque; 07-15-2014 at 11:49 PM.
superodalisque is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2014, 01:10 AM   #2
loopytheone
Administrator
 
loopytheone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Robinhoodland
Posts: 3,460
loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.loopytheone has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Wow, first thing that strikes me is those last couple of paragraphs. No, not all women find beards sexy. And working at the apple store is just the same as working anywhere else to plenty of us. That isn't advice of how to seem attractive; that is advice on how to seem attractive to her.

Other than that, amusing and interesting article. I agree that it is totally laughable to think there is some cut off point at which men/women become unattractive. Everybody is different.

Would I want to be with a guy 25 years older than me though? No. To be honest I have always found being hit on by men old enough to be my father to be extremely creepy. Ten years older than me? Sure. But then again, like I said, it depends a lot on the person. I don't doubt that somewhere out there there is an older man that I will find attractive.
loopytheone is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2014, 03:27 AM   #3
Jah
Veggie girl
 
Jah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 830
Jah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging in
Default

Not liking women over 23 is not the norm for men. Most of the men I know do like young women but also like plenty of older women too and porn reflects this considering there are women of all ages in it.
Also, there seems to be some sort of new fashion trend for women to like younger men. It isn't something I understand at all. I'd quite happily have a sexual relationship with a man in their senior years. And no I'm not old myself. I don't think sexiness is an age related thing, adults of all ages have the possibility of being attractive.
__________________
Violet Dolphin Art
Damian's Writings
:)
Jah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2014, 09:16 AM   #4
Surlysomething
2017
 
Surlysomething's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Langley, BC
Posts: 11,728
Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

You read it right.


When I was younger I was attracted to older men. They were experienced and took charge etc. Now that i'm older i'm attracted to younger men most of the time. The younger men seem to have a confidence in themselves that's very different from the confidence older men have. I base who i'm attracted to mainly on WHO they are instead of WHAT THEY HAVE. I have what I need so i'm not looking for a person to build a life with, y'know? I want fun and current and vital and relevant. I don't want to talk about RRSP's or renewing your mortgage. And sexually (at least for me) I enjoy their stamina and willingness to try new things. Most of the women I know come into their own sexually a bit later in life. We know what works for us and aren't afraid to ask for it or seek it out in general.

IMO of course.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Jah View Post
I thought the article meant that men at 39+ attracted less women in general, not just young women. Or didn't I read it right?
Surlysomething is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2014, 06:04 AM   #5
LillyBBBW
Wig Snatcher
 
LillyBBBW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,794
LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

These old geezers. Man, this article makes me so angry. If you were a 49 year old women crying about not being able to bang all the 23 year old coeds anymore you couldn't still live in the same town afterwards. I'm sick of these dudes.


ETA: It just so happens that I recently put out an add on Craigslist over a week or so ago. Most of the responses are coming from randy 20 year olds wondering if I think they're too young to f*ck. What the hell to do I have in common with a 22 year old? These men should just put an ad on Craigslist.
__________________
Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

@~;~~

Last edited by LillyBBBW; 07-17-2014 at 06:08 AM.
LillyBBBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2014, 09:48 PM   #6
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

i watch male friends my own age (50) and they do seem to be suffering ageism now. they really seemed to have thought they had forever. they really thought they would be able to pick up a 23 yr old whenever they were ready. they were brain washed back in the 80s with the same media blitz that portrayed men as scarce and made marriageable aged women so desperate. i think they didn't understand that it wasn't real, just a fake construct to make women run to the store to buy cosmetics etc... some of my single middle age male friends are wealthy, some middle class, but they are all facing the same reality. maybe there was a time when it would have been easier to attract a younger woman but it's not that way anymore and hasn't been for some time.

it's easy to fantasize about an older celebrity like the author of the article does but the truth is that the reality of being with an older man is definitely not as attractive to young women as it once as. twenty something young girls are not looking for safety and security. they are looking for love, passion shared experiences. they aren't looking for someone who has to plan his sexual experiences around a lil bue pill. they don't want somebody who is afraid he will be too old to be a father to a young child. they don't want a surrogate daddy telling them how to behave and what to do.

and the ability to appear all knowing and tell young women what to do was a great part of the appeal to older men. but younger women now are more savvy and know when a guy is full of it. once older guys could lay down the law with inexperienced women without being questioned but not anymore. that was the big appeal of youthful women--the control their inexperience once gave older men over them.

it's interesting now to see all of the lost middle aged guys wondering what happened. they watched their fathers and uncles start over with a younger version and thought they would also get their turn but times have changed. the dependency isn't there. there used to be a time when women couldn't even have a credit card in their name-- not so long ago in the seventies. and even more interesting is seeing the same guys watch women they once turned down as too old dating younger men. i know as a fifty year old it's very common to be approached by a men at least 15 yrs younger than you. i don't ever see that happening to men anymore.
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."
superodalisque is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-17-2014, 09:59 PM   #7
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Surlysomething View Post
You read it right.


When I was younger I was attracted to older men. They were experienced and took charge etc. Now that i'm older i'm attracted to younger men most of the time. The younger men seem to have a confidence in themselves that's very different from the confidence older men have. I base who i'm attracted to mainly on WHO they are instead of WHAT THEY HAVE. I have what I need so i'm not looking for a person to build a life with, y'know? I want fun and current and vital and relevant. I don't want to talk about RRSP's or renewing your mortgage. And sexually (at least for me) I enjoy their stamina and willingness to try new things. Most of the women I know come into their own sexually a bit later in life. We know what works for us and aren't afraid to ask for it or seek it out in general.

IMO of course.
exactly. it's almost impossible to catch a decent woman anymore with stuff. she has her own stuff. she wants something deeper and more passionate. a lot of older men are stuck in that old paradigm and they are lost. so all they attract is stuff they really don't want. and definitely not people who are going to stick with them if the going gets tough.

even though i am totally not attracted to men in their twenties and i prefer men who are my own age i don't mind men who are a little younger than i am. we do seem to have a lot in common, pretty much like what you said. we like to try new things. then there are the emotional things too. i could care less about marriage. i dont want a baby. i don't care about what i'm doing compared to my gfs. i don't look for a magazine to say i look good naked. the externals are out of the picture. we can just concentrate on enjoying each other and liking each other.
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."

Last edited by superodalisque; 07-17-2014 at 10:02 PM.
superodalisque is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2014, 07:48 AM   #8
Surlysomething
2017
 
Surlysomething's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Langley, BC
Posts: 11,728
Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.Surlysomething has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

But was it intentional?

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigmac View Post
What's wrong with wanting to trade up. I did it and I'm not the least bit ashamed.
Surlysomething is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2014, 11:03 AM   #9
CarlaSixx
Just Another Weirdo
 
CarlaSixx's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cornwall, ON, Canada
Posts: 3,983
CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!CarlaSixx keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

I don't like hearing that men over 39 find themselves unattractive. Because I like men over 39.
When I go to bars, if a man doesn't look at least 35, my eyes scan right past them.

True, older men may not have a tonne in common with someone as young as me, but I am interested in a lot more things that older men can discuss rather than anyone my age.
__________________
Curvy Canadian ;)
Twitter
My Wish List
CarlaSixx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-18-2014, 04:49 PM   #10
Saisha
Delphinum natare doces
 
Saisha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: PNW
Posts: 1,129
Saisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

This might be a matter of semantics - couldn't it be said that most people who get out of a bad or unhappy relationship and get involved in a LTR with someone else has traded up so to speak? Not knowing the specifics of the prior relationship, I don't know how each felt towards the other - maybe both feel they have traded up. Just a thought....
__________________
"Never for me the lowered banner, never the last endeavour" - Shackleton

Child of the ocean.
Saisha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-19-2014, 09:36 AM   #11
fat9276
 
fat9276's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,917
fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

My partner is a bit over 10 years younger than I am (I am almost 38 by the way). It works perfectly for us. I never thought I would be with someone so much younger either.


bigmac, based on your posts, it seems you are talking about "trading up" based on the physical only. People (read women) aren't show dogs
. I mean, really?!? If that is indeed what you are saying, then I feel you are demeaning your ex and pretty much all women older than your current partner.

Are you just looking to cause controversy here (like you usually do)?
fat9276 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-19-2014, 04:23 PM   #12
fat9276
 
fat9276's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 3,917
fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.fat9276 has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. It's Debate Club 101 once again. This is not Hyde Park. I mean, seriously.
fat9276 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2014, 02:12 AM   #13
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

i don't think older men should really worry about their looks so much. people can be gorgeous at any age. mainly he just needs to make sure he keeps his mind fresh or at least kind even if old fashioned. he can always get a haircut neaten up a bit etc... that is no biggie.
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."
superodalisque is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2014, 02:27 AM   #14
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CarlaSixx View Post
I don't like hearing that men over 39 find themselves unattractive. Because I like men over 39.
When I go to bars, if a man doesn't look at least 35, my eyes scan right past them.

True, older men may not have a tonne in common with someone as young as me, but I am interested in a lot more things that older men can discuss rather than anyone my age.
exactly. guys are going to have to start being careful not to put themselves in a box women have been in for a long time. heck, we're trying to get out of it!

another thing your post makes me think :

doesn't this give a great perspective on how guys probably really think about us? while we are obsessing over what magazines have to say. what we really think about older men has absolutely nothing to do with the media image out there. most of the women here have said they aren't really that interested in money etc... i haven't seen much mention of looks. i don't know if that was being polite or if that really isn't our first concern. all i know is that as a middle aged woman kindness and intelligence carries a huge amount of weight for me. insipid insensitive and mean not so much. i'm not going to pretend that i know what a lot of women younger than me feel about looks though. i only have a problem with looks if he doesn't look like he cares at all. i would feel the same about a young guy though. but, even as a young girl i liked that craggy faced heavy limbed look older guys had. i think i watched Clark Gable and Cary Grant too much. George Clooney has some good old boy looks too.
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."

Last edited by superodalisque; 07-20-2014 at 02:42 AM.
superodalisque is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2014, 05:48 AM   #15
Jah
Veggie girl
 
Jah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 830
Jah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging inJah makes people happy simply by logging in
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by superodalisque View Post
exactly. guys are going to have to start being careful not to put themselves in a box women have been in for a long time. heck, we're trying to get out of it!

another thing your post makes me think :

doesn't this give a great perspective on how guys probably really think about us? while we are obsessing over what magazines have to say. what we really think about older men has absolutely nothing to do with the media image out there. most of the women here have said they aren't really that interested in money etc... i haven't seen much mention of looks. i don't know if that was being polite or if that really isn't our first concern. all i know is that as a middle aged woman kindness and intelligence carries a huge amount of weight for me. insipid insensitive and mean not so much. i'm not going to pretend that i know what a lot of women younger than me feel about looks though. i only have a problem with looks if he doesn't look like he cares at all. i would feel the same about a young guy though. but, even as a young girl i liked that craggy faced heavy limbed look older guys had. i think i watched Clark Gable and Cary Grant too much. George Clooney has some good old boy looks too.
Personality plays the most important part in sexual attraction. But when it comes to looks I've always had thing for balding BHMs. That can be a BHM of nearly any adult age. As for personality, I've always wanted someone that is a good friend and companion and who has a few interests in common with me. These are more traits that can be from a man of any age. As for money, I've never cared about that, I've usually been the one with more money than the guys I've been with.
The older I get, the more I put personality first. Not all older men are the same and not all younger men are the same. I've been with my husband since we were 19 and got married at 20. We were both interested in settling down and being married at an early age, which I suppose is rare for people that young.
__________________
Violet Dolphin Art
Damian's Writings
:)
Jah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2014, 08:03 AM   #16
LillyBBBW
Wig Snatcher
 
LillyBBBW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,794
LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

People really aren't things to 'get' or upgrade. This reminds me of the whole friendzone movement and other slow retorts that come from people who can't have whatever/whoever they want. Sometimes there are people who are not going to be attracted to you and sometimes there will be people attracted to you that you don't want. When you tell that person, "No," be assured of your right to do so but don't come out of the other side of your mouth with catchy slogans to marginalize those who say no to you. Life is funny like that.
__________________
Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

@~;~~
LillyBBBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2014, 10:17 AM   #17
Saisha
Delphinum natare doces
 
Saisha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: PNW
Posts: 1,129
Saisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions communitySaisha is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
People really aren't things to 'get'....
Excellent post

Tried to rep you but I'm out -
__________________
"Never for me the lowered banner, never the last endeavour" - Shackleton

Child of the ocean.
Saisha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2014, 01:10 PM   #18
FatAndProud
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,890
FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.FatAndProud has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

I've dabbled in older men since I can remember. I sexually prefer them, but I'm not so sure emotionally and mentally. The men I've dated were obsessed with "ensuring their legacy" via babies, their receding hairlines, and their cars/mortgages/insurance/etc....they don't seem to care about love. It's competing with other men is what concerns them.
FatAndProud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2014, 02:30 PM   #19
superodalisque
 
superodalisque's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: atlanta
Posts: 7,580
superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by FatAndProud View Post
I've dabbled in older men since I can remember. I sexually prefer them, but I'm not so sure emotionally and mentally. The men I've dated were obsessed with "ensuring their legacy" via babies, their receding hairlines, and their cars/mortgages/insurance/etc....they don't seem to care about love. It's competing with other men is what concerns them.

it's only that ugly old monster insecurity that is unattractive
__________________
Ayn Rand: "An emotion that clashes with your reason, an emotion that you cannot explain or control, is only the carcass of that stale thinking which you forbade your mind to revise."
superodalisque is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-27-2014, 06:57 PM   #20
EvilPrincess
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 3,083
EvilPrincess has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!EvilPrincess has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!EvilPrincess has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!EvilPrincess has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!EvilPrincess has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!EvilPrincess has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!EvilPrincess has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!EvilPrincess has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!EvilPrincess has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!EvilPrincess has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!EvilPrincess has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default Thread has been cleaned up

Sorry for the chop job on the thread. This is the BBW forum and unless specified to the guys and gals it is for the BBW population here at dimensions. If you feel the topic needs to be discussed in a more general population please take it to the main board.

My apologies for this taking so long to address. Chaos intervened with my intentions to clean this up quickly.

EP Mod (late to the party )
EvilPrincess is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2015, 06:35 PM   #21
seaturtle71
 
seaturtle71's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Galveston, Texas
Posts: 26
seaturtle71 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokesseaturtle71 can now be the recipient of "two cans" jokes
Default

interesting.
seaturtle71 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2017, 07:01 PM   #22
Wayne_Zitkus
Proud FA Since 1962
 
Wayne_Zitkus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Deepindahearta, Texas
Posts: 3,196
Wayne_Zitkus has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Wayne_Zitkus has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Wayne_Zitkus has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Wayne_Zitkus has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Wayne_Zitkus has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Wayne_Zitkus has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Wayne_Zitkus has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Wayne_Zitkus has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Wayne_Zitkus has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Wayne_Zitkus has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Wayne_Zitkus has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

I'm 64 and the dating sites I belong to keep trying to pair me up with women in their 30s. Don't get me wrong - they're very attractive. But my kids are 41 and 40 and I would feel uncomfortable dating someone younger than them.
__________________
Widower who started over last year at age 63...
Wayne_Zitkus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-31-2017, 09:03 PM   #23
Leem
Leem
 
Leem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 424
Leem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions communityLeem is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

This was an interesting read. The article itself was a bit off the cuff and self reflective with a little shadenfraude tossed in. I think that part of the reason men have begun to feel this way is advertising, television and the media in general. I also suspect the fact that women have begun to "take care of themselves" and are not looking to become dependent on anyone is also reflected in these attitudes. Women's independence has changed attitudes towards marriage and dating irrevocably.
Leem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2017, 07:07 PM   #24
Dr. Feelgood
intellectual nerd
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: the Twilight Zone
Posts: 4,575
Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.Dr. Feelgood has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leem View Post
Women's independence has changed attitudes towards marriage and dating irrevocably.
Not before time, IMO.
__________________
Now all you women,
Don't you come around
Unless you weigh
'Bout fo' hundred pound...
-- Dr. Feelgood & the Interns
Dr. Feelgood is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-01-2017, 09:20 PM   #25
Tracii
 
Tracii's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Commonwealth of Ky
Posts: 3,313
Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Tracii has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

I dated a guy 20 years older than me for 10 years or so and he was wonderful.
Very caring and no drama at all.
Sex life was great too.
I could date a guy older or younger just depends on the guy.
Tracii is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:38 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.