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Old 02-24-2016, 10:18 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by magodamilion View Post
Wow I see people have revived this post.

Just an update on me from two years after I started this thread. I took everyone's advice and started asking out BHM's on my own. I've gotten loads of rejections or guys who will talk to me for a couple weeks before spontaneously ignoring all my messages.

It's been very opposite of everything the general culture says about fat guys. In my experience they're incredibly picking and impossible to get. I think at least thirty of them have turned me down at this point.

I recently decided to go back to dating thin guys since there are so many of them and they're so much easier. I'm never really physically attracted to them, but I'm hoping I'll find one with a personality I get along with enough to find some degree of attraction. It's worked for other people before right?

Anyways, I think it must at least be a sheer numbers issue, there are a lot less fat guys around than there are thin guys. Though I also think it must be more then that. The rate at which fat guys say no to me is so absurdly high there must be something else to it. I must be doing something wrong but I'm not sure what. I approach them the exact same way as I approach thin guys but the thin guys pretty much always say yes.
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Old 02-25-2016, 02:48 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by magodamilion View Post
Wow I see people have revived this post.

Just an update on me from two years after I started this thread. I took everyone's advice and started asking out BHM's on my own. I've gotten loads of rejections or guys who will talk to me for a couple weeks before spontaneously ignoring all my messages.

It's been very opposite of everything the general culture says about fat guys. In my experience they're incredibly picking and impossible to get. I think at least thirty of them have turned me down at this point.

I recently decided to go back to dating thin guys since there are so many of them and they're so much easier. I'm never really physically attracted to them, but I'm hoping I'll find one with a personality I get along with enough to find some degree of attraction. It's worked for other people before right?

Anyways, I think it must at least be a sheer numbers issue, there are a lot less fat guys around than there are thin guys. Though I also think it must be more then that. The rate at which fat guys say no to me is so absurdly high there must be something else to it. I must be doing something wrong but I'm not sure what. I approach them the exact same way as I approach thin guys but the thin guys pretty much always say yes.

Do a lot of thin guys blow you off the way the fat guys did?

This is one of those times when it would be nice to be a 'fly on the wall', to watch and hear what you and he say and do, so as to be able to help you figure out what's going on when you meet/try to pick up a fat guy.
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Old 02-26-2016, 11:39 AM   #53
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Do a lot of thin guys blow you off the way the fat guys did?

This is one of those times when it would be nice to be a 'fly on the wall', to watch and hear what you and he say and do, so as to be able to help you figure out what's going on when you meet/try to pick up a fat guy.
Honestly I feel the same way. I've never had any issues with dating/meeting fat guys.
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Old 02-26-2016, 12:02 PM   #54
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Honestly I feel the same way. I've never had any issues with dating/meeting fat guys.
Yeah, yeah we fatties are a dime a dozen. I see how it is. Just be glad we don't sell by the pound.
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Old 02-26-2016, 01:06 PM   #55
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Originally Posted by magodamilion View Post

... I must be doing something wrong but I'm not sure what. I approach them the exact same way as I approach thin guys but the thin guys pretty much always say yes.

Therein lies the problem. Fat guys (and fat women too) develop protection mechanisms to limit the chances of being hurt yet again. Personally, if a pretty thin woman approached me my first instinct would be to assume that she had some ulterior motive.

Getting approached by a pretty thin woman is something that just doesn't happen to fat guys. Its never happened to me. I've had fat women approach me but the only time I ever had a pretty thin woman approach me was during a period when I wasn't fat
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Old 02-26-2016, 01:37 PM   #56
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Hey Magodamilion, on the one hand presumably you care about more than the guy exceeding some minimum amount of adipose tissue, and on the other on these boards you have a pretty good resource in terms of both other FFA and a variety of fat guys (not to mention a few people who just hang out here 'cause their cool like that). So I'm thinking maybe you could get some more useful advice and support if you gave a little more information?

For sure there may be personal details that are not wise to share, but this is a place where you can actually be fairly open about what you are looking for in a guy and know that you will be safe in saying it. You like tall, strong, burly types? Fat frat boys? Guys who are really, really, fat? We've heard it all, and and think it is all good. Likewise types of relationship, guy's personality, the more you explain what you want (or you think you want, or that maybe you want but there could be more you aren't sure of but definitely not this other thing), the more we might understand.

And likewise about yourself. There are skinny FFA here who struggle to resist eating disorders, there are BBW-FFA here, there are FFA of more average size. There are students, there are women whose kids have finished their student years. There are guys who have been long married, and ones who have been actively dating recently. There are guys who are chubby and guys who are pretty darn big. There are people of from different countries, parts of the US, ethnic backgrounds, religious and cultural denominations, etc.

It is totally up to you, but the more that you are willing to share about your situation, the more useful the feedback is apt to be -- and the more chances you get of having that lovely feeling of 'hey, she is like me!'
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Old 02-27-2016, 08:15 AM   #57
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Yeah, yeah we fatties are a dime a dozen. I see how it is. Just be glad we don't sell by the pound.
Haha fatties may be a dime a dozen, but its still hard to find a good person who's compatible.

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Originally Posted by bigmac View Post
Therein lies the problem. Fat guys (and fat women too) develop protection mechanisms to limit the chances of being hurt yet again. Personally, if a pretty thin woman approached me my first instinct would be to assume that she had some ulterior motive.

Getting approached by a pretty thin woman is something that just doesn't happen to fat guys. Its never happened to me. I've had fat women approach me but the only time I ever had a pretty thin woman approach me was during a period when I wasn't fat
Actually how didn't I pick up on this as well? Like I've noticed if a fat guy catches me checking him out, they often get uncomfortable. I guess I'm pretty, but I am thin. Normally when I approach them I make sure I come across as genuine as possible, you'd be surprised how much genuinely smiling and laughing can help.
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Old 04-16-2016, 06:13 AM   #58
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It's easier for a FFA to identify and pick a BHM out from a crowd than the other way around.
Really? I find them so shy! If they would take my flirty looks seriously and come on over they would see that it's worth it! What's the most comfortable way for a slim woman to get a BHMs attention and amorous looks?
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Old 04-16-2016, 06:50 AM   #59
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Really? I find them so shy! If they would take my flirty looks seriously and come on over they would see that it's worth it! What's the most comfortable way for a slim woman to get a BHMs attention and amorous looks?
Approach said BHM and introduce yourself. Unless you have landing strips and runway lights pointing right at you and a ground crew waving me in, I probably won't take your flirty looks seriously or even more likely, notice them at all.
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Old 04-16-2016, 07:33 AM   #60
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Approach said BHM and introduce yourself. Unless you have landing strips and runway lights pointing right at you and a ground crew waving me in, I probably won't take your flirty looks seriously or even more likely, notice them at all.
It's not just you, Chaz: these are words of wisdom. Women seem to be much more aware of body language and subtexts in conversation than men are. The Great Male Dream is a gorgeous woman who approaches you and says, "Wanna fuck?" thereby relieving you of the frustration of trying to figure out what she herself wants (with the possibility of relieving you of additional frustrations later on ).
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Old 04-16-2016, 10:14 AM   #61
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Approach said BHM and introduce yourself. Unless you have landing strips and runway lights pointing right at you and a ground crew waving me in, I probably won't take your flirty looks seriously or even more likely, notice them at all.
American men.....honey, the landing strips are out and waiting!
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Old 04-16-2016, 10:15 AM   #62
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It's not just you, Chaz: these are words of wisdom. Women seem to be much more aware of body language and subtexts in conversation than men are. The Great Male Dream is a gorgeous woman who approaches you and says, "Wanna fuck?" thereby relieving you of the frustration of trying to figure out what she herself wants (with the possibility of relieving you of additional frustrations later on ).
Wanna fuck?
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Old 04-16-2016, 10:18 AM   #63
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Don't give up!

It is my experience that the ones we want the most come when we're least expecting it.
I am almost on the verge of going back to thin guys too. I get a lot of attention and approaches but when I lock onto a BHM its like no one else is in the room but they still either abruptly break off contact or ignore me totally. Come on guys, sexy women like us mean business! What are you afraid of?
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Old 04-16-2016, 10:21 AM   #64
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Originally Posted by magodamilion View Post
Wow I see people have revived this post.

Just an update on me from two years after I started this thread. I took everyone's advice and started asking out BHM's on my own. I've gotten loads of rejections or guys who will talk to me for a couple weeks before spontaneously ignoring all my messages.

It's been very opposite of everything the general culture says about fat guys. In my experience they're incredibly picking and impossible to get. I think at least thirty of them have turned me down at this point.

I recently decided to go back to dating thin guys since there are so many of them and they're so much easier. I'm never really physically attracted to them, but I'm hoping I'll find one with a personality I get along with enough to find some degree of attraction. It's worked for other people before right?

Anyways, I think it must at least be a sheer numbers issue, there are a lot less fat guys around than there are thin guys. Though I also think it must be more then that. The rate at which fat guys say no to me is so absurdly high there must be something else to it. I must be doing something wrong but I'm not sure what. I approach them the exact same way as I approach thin guys but the thin guys pretty much always say yes.
I dealt with this a lot in my 20s. People think if you're a tiny yoga esque girl who likes fat guys (and can quote Simpsons and Big Lebowski pretty well, you're in like Flynn. They couldnt be more wrong. I had my share of rejection, break-ups, and general relationship unpleasantness which I had to work through. I wouldnt internalize it. Their reaction to you doesnt define you. Its how they perceive the word, their hangups, preferences ect.

And big ups to you for putting yourself out there. It isnt easy but life's too short not to put yourself out there.

Relationships and finding love are tough for all of us. Keep on hanging in.
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Old 04-16-2016, 11:22 AM   #65
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I've said it before, I'll say it again; most fat guys are damaged goods in the self esteem zone. Most of them wouldn't believe their luck if a beautiful woman came up to them and started flirting and like the dog with a car bumper in his mouth they wouldn't know what to do with one once they had it. If you have self esteem issues around being overweight in a society that says 'beautiful people should be together' then you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for her to 'come to her senses' and drop you at the side of the road like a box of old clothes. It something that a guy has to come to terms with and grow out of through time and experience.

Be forthcoming but don't go balls-out, come on too strong and although the guy might love it at first since he knows for sure you like him it's likely that eventually he will start to see himself as the non-dominant personality in the scenario and most guys don't want that and that's when they turn all surly and five year old kid. I know, acting like a spurned child doesn't make sense when you are silently protesting being treated like the non-dominant in a relationship, remember the damaged goods thing? Yeah.

Add in the fact that guys in their 20's are generally idiots in the first place and fat guys have less social conditioning than most and you ladies have an uphill battle to fight after being lucky enough to find a fattie who isn't completely oblivious to the fact you like him. You all have a struggle I don't envy.

That being said it's pretty much like any other person dating; put yourself out there and get rejected time and again until the time you don't get rejected. Ostensibly the same rules apply, you just have a smaller (so to speak) pool of adequate candidates to work with.
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Old 04-16-2016, 08:48 PM   #66
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Wanna fuck?
Never had a girl actually say that -- but my cluelessness has precipitated the following:

-- At a night club in Queens a chubby girl comes up to me and says -- "I've been smiling at you all night when are you going to come over and talk to me"

-- At a bar near San Francisco a thin girl comes up to me and says "My (very fat) sister has been trying to get your attention for hours go buy her a drink."

-- At a McDonald's in my home town of Edmonton the skinny little girl behind the counter started yelling at me -- "why didn't you ask my sister out, she really liked you." Took me a moment to figure out who her sister was. Meanwhile the rest of the guys on my water main repair crew were laughing themselves silly. Then they wanted to know if the sister was as pretty as the girl behind the counter -- I said yes (but didn't disclose that she was about 280 pounds).

Bottom line -- some of us guys are totally oblivious to subtle signals and have to be hit over the head to get our attention.

Its also interesting to note that all the girls who were interested in me were fat. As a fat guy I've never had a thin girl express any romantic interest. If it weren't for fat women I'd probably still be a virgin.
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