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Old 03-27-2015, 02:09 PM   #26
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My wife sometimes enjoys a little dirty talk and at times can be far more vulgar than I am. But basically any use of words like "fat" are out of the question. She doesn't want me to call her names or anything like that. However, general references to her size, if delivered appropriately, are okay. Even she will tell me to [do stuff] to her "big, soft ass." She's even referred to it as her "giant" ass and I am free to use word like big, soft, even giant or massive. She knows her posterior drives me crazy and is very open to some feisty talk and behavior, but the second I use the "f" word I am a goner!
I would post, but your post says it perfectly for my wife and I. My wife would NOT appreciate the word "fat" or like to be called anything like that, nor would I EVER, I mean ever think about calling her something like that. That would hurt her feelings, and take us out of the moment. What I will say, and do say is something like "back that sexy big ass up to me". That is acceptable, and she says similar things about her ass. She knows I love her big ass, and women with big asses, its not a secret. She often kids that I married her big ass, not her. Again a joke. Its not a secret, and we roll with it most of the time. I can spend an hour just kissing her big ass, it happens sometimes. We go with it, we go with the flow, she knows I love it.
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Old 03-27-2015, 02:39 PM   #27
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I would post, but your post says it perfectly for my wife and I. My wife would NOT appreciate the word "fat" or like to be called anything like that, nor would I EVER, I mean ever think about calling her something like that. That would hurt her feelings, and take us out of the moment. What I will say, and do say is something like "back that sexy big ass up to me". That is acceptable, and she says similar things about her ass. She knows I love her big ass, and women with big asses, its not a secret. She often kids that I married her big ass, not her. Again a joke. Its not a secret, and we roll with it most of the time. I can spend an hour just kissing her big ass, it happens sometimes. We go with it, we go with the flow, she knows I love it.
I think we may be the same person! And our wives the same woman! My wife teases me about marrying her ass, and like you, I can spend hours kissing and worshiping my wife's ass. Sometimes she even tells me to do it! Haha, there was once a time when someone saying "kiss my ass" to me would be provocative. Now my wife says it and I drop to my knees and obey her!
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Old 03-27-2015, 04:28 PM   #28
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I think we may be the same person! And our wives the same woman! My wife teases me about marrying her ass, and like you, I can spend hours kissing and worshiping my wife's ass. Sometimes she even tells me to do it! Haha, there was once a time when someone saying "kiss my ass" to me would be provocative. Now my wife says it and I drop to my knees and obey her!
Yeah we sound very similar, good to know I'm not alone. That is a good word you used "worship". I would say that is exactly what I do. When I say I could just kiss and worship her ass for an hour or more, I mean it. And yes just like you we joke that how many woman, or wives have a man that not only kisses their wife's ass but loves to do it. So funny huh.
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Old 03-27-2015, 06:31 PM   #29
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Yeah we sound very similar, good to know I'm not alone. That is a good word you used "worship". I would say that is exactly what I do. When I say I could just kiss and worship her ass for an hour or more, I mean it. And yes just like you we joke that how many woman, or wives have a man that not only kisses their wife's ass but loves to do it. So funny huh.
And that worship can lead to good things, too. Recently I was foam rolling on our living room floor and she walked by in her workout pants. I happened to sit up right as she walked by and on a whim wrapped my arms around her, buried my face in her ass and commenced to worshiping. She usually laughs me off in moments like this (which are actually pretty common, if you saw my wife's ass you'd understand) but this time she paused, and then I felt her hand on the back of my head, and then with her free hand and one of mine her pants slid down...

Good things come to those of us who worship our wives!
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Old 03-28-2015, 04:29 PM   #30
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To: happily_married; johnny99; Marlayna; Kawaii Pudding; superodalisque;


Instead of complaining about what you or your partner do not like to be called. Instead, could you please list the things you or your partner DO like?
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Old 03-28-2015, 06:04 PM   #31
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To: happily_married; johnny99; Marlayna; Kawaii Pudding; superodalisque;


Instead of complaining about what you or your partner do not like to be called. Instead, could you please list the things you or your partner DO like?
Um...I thought I did? But okay then.
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Old 03-28-2015, 08:04 PM   #32
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I get that in an FA aspect, they may like saying and hearing the "fat phrases" but being a BBW in bed, I personally am NO different to any other woman. I would feel awful if some guy was calling me a gigantic cow or something in bed.
There's a huge variation in preferences. Some fat girls would enjoy being called a gigantic cow -- others don't want to hear anything relating to their size.
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Old 03-28-2015, 10:14 PM   #33
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There's a huge variation in preferences. Some fat girls would enjoy being called a gigantic cow -- others don't want to hear anything relating to their size.
Yah I do understand this. As the guys posted above, if said to me in a loving way, like backing up a big ass or whatever, that is perfectly cool. There's a difference between words said in a way that are endearing and the words/shit we were teased mercilessly for as a kid. I don't really want to relive a bad childhood while having sex with my man. Then again, he knows the right things/words to say. Some people are great with this.
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Old 03-29-2015, 02:55 AM   #34
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To: happily_married; johnny99; Marlayna; Kawaii Pudding; superodalisque;


Instead of complaining about what you or your partner do not like to be called. Instead, could you please list the things you or your partner DO like?
Number 1 who was complaining? Did you even read our posts? No one was complaining, and I thought we answered what we do call them, or use as sexy talk.
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Old 03-29-2015, 04:14 AM   #35
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To: happily_married; johnny99; Marlayna; Kawaii Pudding; superodalisque;


Instead of complaining about what you or your partner do not like to be called. Instead, could you please list the things you or your partner DO like?
Like Johnny, I'm compelled to ask: Who's complaining? Certainly not me. Furthermore, I think I've already alluded (generally) to what she does like. But I think ecogeek said it best right here:

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I get that in an FA aspect, they may like saying and hearing the "fat phrases" but being a BBW in bed, I personally am NO different to any other woman. I would feel awful if some guy was calling me a gigantic cow or something in bed.
One of the problems I think FA's may run into is they think their attraction to bigger girls will be endearing enough in and of itself that they will be given carte blanche license to say anything they want. I agree with ecogeek that for some of them there is a desire to outwardly and verbally express it in what some may consider a hurtful way.

I know as I started dating overweight women there was a major learning curve for me that often involved some lessons learned the hard way. For example one woman once asked me why I was attracted to her and I blurted out, "I like fat girls." Raise your hand if you think I got a second date. (HINT: I didn't.) Finding a way to express my preference for a physical type became very important. Doing so in a way that made a woman feel like I had picked HER out of the crowd was an additional challenge. Carrying that into the bedroom and calling her fat...bad news.

My wife wants to hear me say things that make her feel beautiful. I mentioned she likes a little dirty talk, but she doesn't want to hear me telling her how fat she is (even though she knows TO ME that's a good thing), she doesn't want to hear me call her anything shaming like, "slut" or use of the word "dirty" as in "dirty girl, cunt, etc..." We have a lot of room for risque talk and behavior together, but there are limits and it is vital to stay within those limits.
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Old 03-29-2015, 05:10 AM   #36
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I kind of feel like you guys have done a good job to keep it positive to be honest. I mean, the original question of the thread was asking what women liked to be called in bed, in relation to being fat. There is going to be some negativity that follows that. Sorry.
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Old 03-29-2015, 10:09 AM   #37
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Yah I do understand this. As the guys posted above, if said to me in a loving way, like backing up a big ass or whatever, that is perfectly cool. There's a difference between words said in a way that are endearing and the words/shit we were teased mercilessly for as a kid. I don't really want to relive a bad childhood while having sex with my man. Then again, he knows the right things/words to say. Some people are great with this.
I believe yours is the majority position. Most fat women don't want to be reminded of their fatness in the middle of making out. However, a small but not insignificant, minority of fat women have woven their fatness into their sexuality in such a way that they do indeed respond sexually to words others would find objectionable. By my non-scientific calculations about 12% of fat women fall into the later category.
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Old 03-29-2015, 12:34 PM   #38
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I believe yours is the majority position. Most fat women don't want to be reminded of their fatness in the middle of making out. However, a small but not insignificant, minority of fat women have woven their fatness into their sexuality in such a way that they do indeed respond sexually to words others would find objectionable. By my non-scientific calculations about 12% of fat women fall into the later category.
Not only that, but there are a lot of them that, while sensitive to what others say about their weight are actually very open to playing it up themselves. Case in point: I've told stories about a girlfriend I had who was 5'3" and about 350 pounds. We split up when I learned she was still married and going through a divorce, but had told me she was already divorced. (Same girl I mentioned in this post: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...1&postcount=15)

For the sake of this post, I'll call her "J." Some background on her: Like I already said, she was 5'3" and 350, so that was a lot of weight on a short frame. Her husband left her for the woman next door (literally right next door). This woman was closer to what society deems universally attractive. She was everything my (at the time) J: tall, athletic, flashy, career oriented, made a lot of money, drove a Corvette. J was short, fat, plain, SAHM, had no income of her own, drove a 4 door sedan.

J's husband began pushing her around, verbally and when he left for the hottie next door made it clear why: J was plain and boring fatass. This had a profound effect on her. When I stumbled into the picture, J found it an immense boost of confidence and channeled a lot of her uncertainty into becoming the dominant partner in our relationship. Here's why:

By the time I met her, I was becoming more and more open to dating overweight women. But this was an evolution for me. I was learning about my own preferences and in many ways still wanted to date women more like J's next door neighbor. And in fact, I was dating one when I met J. When I met J I was honest about it, and the first time we met even showed her some pics. J told me flat out: I'd like you to let her know you're seeing me now and won't be with her anymore. Her assertiveness impressed me and I willingly complied.

From there she became more and more assertive. She would tell me on a Friday that I wasn't going out with my buddies that night, that I would be coming to her place as soon as I was free and that I would be doing her laundry, cleaning, making her dinner, etc. And guess what: she was right. I found myself more and more yielding to her. She more or less domesticated me and coaxed me into a submissive role in the relationship.

I think her self image improved a lot during our time together. That I split up with a "hot" girl for her made her feel somewhat validated after what happened to her with her husband. Often during sex, and in the heat of the moment, she would brag about "taking me out of play" so to speak. She'd remind me I dumped a hot girl for a fat one. (I didn't dare call her a fat girl, even though she called herself that.) She'd say stuff like, "You knew I was fat but you dumped her for me anyway." or "I'm a fatass and you're [copulating with] me anyway." I guess there was something about her talking this way really did something for her. She was very open to calling herself fat. She was very demanding in bed (I strained my back letting her ride me and the next night she told me to go back to my skinny girlfriend if I couldn't do it again) and not shy at all about telling me if I had disappointed her. She was quick to tell me having a fat partner came with challenges and I had better be up for it or look for another girlfriend. But if I alluded to having a fat girlfriend...I'd better look out!

She sounds like a task master, but I LOVED it. Breaking up with her was a very difficult decision and I almost stayed, despite us starting out under false pretenses. I even think I may be married to her today had I stayed. But everything happens for a reason and I'm not going to second guess myself. I am glad I have the wife I have, and wouldn't trade her for anything.
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Old 03-29-2015, 05:55 PM   #39
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^ Good story. I guess certain situations can breed different types of people. Thank you for sharing.
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Old 03-29-2015, 06:05 PM   #40
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^ Good story. I guess certain situations can breed different types of people. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you. I think J needed the empowerment and found it in our relationship. It just goes to show that you can't put people in a box, too. A while back I once started a discussion on the main discussion page about tactful ways to describe "fat." Some people saw the value in my question, others were very blunt and saw no value in "coddling." (I called it tact, but whatever...) We're not all going to agree, which is part of makes these discussions fun to have. Generally I favor a "follow her lead" approach. I don't talk dirty to my wife until I hear her talking dirty. With J I didn't use words she sometimes used to describe herself. I think learning your partner and what she likes is of utmost importance. If you have one that is open to being called a fatass in bed, more power to you. That would get me killed if I said it to my wife!
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Old 03-29-2015, 08:16 PM   #41
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To: happily_married; johnny99; Marlayna; Kawaii Pudding; superodalisque;


Instead of complaining about what you or your partner do not like to be called. Instead, could you please list the things you or your partner DO like?

lol I don't think i complained. I already said I like being called by my name. and I said that when things are really good no one CAN say anything.

i'm pretty visual and tactile. i'm more about doing things and feeling than talking about it.
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Old 04-03-2015, 08:33 PM   #42
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Old 04-06-2015, 10:35 AM   #43
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Do they like being called..."ohhhhhh I'm gonna cum!!!!"...Because I end up saying that a lot. And I say a lot of "Mmmffmmff," because it can be so difficult to talk with your mouth full...
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Old 04-06-2015, 10:26 PM   #44
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Do they like being called..."ohhhhhh I'm gonna cum!!!!"...Because I end up saying that a lot. And I say a lot of "Mmmffmmff," because it can be so difficult to talk with your mouth full...

another great reason nothing might be said-- mouth full lol
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Old 04-07-2015, 03:52 AM   #45
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another great reason nothing might be said-- mouth full lol
Yes, ma'am! I swear sometimes she's trying to suffocate me down there, pushing on the back of my head to hold me in place as if I'd actually leave that wonderful spot on my own!
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Old 04-07-2015, 05:24 AM   #46
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Old 04-07-2015, 05:37 AM   #47
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Every time I scroll past this I read it as 'the beast' and can't help giggling at the thought of being called that!
Yeah I did the same thing! I promise you if I called my wife "the beast" in the middle of it, it may just bring out the beast in her. I probably wouldn't survive such an encounter.
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Old 04-08-2015, 06:35 PM   #48
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men are weird. why postulate on what fat women think. just let them respond to the question, listen to the responses and take note.
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Old 04-08-2015, 07:00 PM   #49
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men are weird. why postulate on what fat women think. just let them respond to the question, listen to the responses and take note.
But some of us are experienced enough to be able to weigh in as well. Not postulating on what women think, but relaying to the class what we've experience as successful (or not) is legitimate contribution to the discussion.
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Old 04-08-2015, 07:01 PM   #50
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men are weird. why postulate on what fat women think. just let them respond to the question, listen to the responses and take note.
Kind of reminds me of when I worked in a garage for six years. A lady mechanic started working there.
The most delightful thing about her? The one day I went out and asked her a simple yes or no question....and she gave me the simple answer of yes.
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