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Old 04-03-2015, 08:14 PM   #51
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I have to agree. "Fat" may be a good thing to some here on Dims. But that may not be the case to a "fat" girl. Few women I've ever met have cared to be defined by any given physical feature, especially a weight related one. I think sometimes FAs assume that their attraction to overweight women will be endearing enough to overcome otherwise obvious faux pas, and that it is okay to call a girl "fat" because to them (the FA) it is a good thing. When I was first blossoming into being an FA I made some mistakes. I once had a girl ask me what I found attractive about her and without really thinking of my answer I led with "I like fat girls." You can imagine how smooth the rest of that date went.

You see, a lot of fat girls don't want to be "fat girls." That is, they don't want to be described/defined by it. They just want to be "girls." Girls who want the same things other girls want: guys who are attracted to them and value them. That doesn't mean a guy can't be attracted to a girl because she's fat. But he's really hurting his chances if he leads with that, like I did. Thankfully I learned how to communicate my answers to similar questions asked by other girls in a manner that conveyed that I had a "type" (overweight girls) but still sought something unique in every person I dated.

A lot of overweight women get enough reminders and negative messages from society every day. They don't need that from the men who are supposed to love them, too.
What bothered me most about this whole "convo" with Frank and others is the "Fat Enthusiasts" viewing a woman that small as.....fat. WTF?

We're in Fat World.....and she's not it. IMO.

And someone calling a woman with an inch to pinch "fat" or "big" or what the fuck eva whether it gets their willie moving or not....is a downer to me.....too many mixed messages. I remember spending so much time wishing I could be as "small' as this one or that one and then seeing THAT person being called fat. It's a big catch 22 or just a no win situation.
Makes me think it's just best not to give a damn or even bother to listen because it always made it hard on me to like myself no matter what size I yo yo'd myself into

Can't please all the people all of the time.

BTW, thanks for your nice input Happily
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Old 04-04-2015, 04:57 AM   #52
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What bothered me most about this whole "convo" with Frank and others is the "Fat Enthusiasts" viewing a woman that small as.....fat. WTF?

We're in Fat World.....and she's not it. IMO.

And someone calling a woman with an inch to pinch "fat" or "big" or what the fuck eva whether it gets their willie moving or not....is a downer to me.....too many mixed messages. I remember spending so much time wishing I could be as "small' as this one or that one and then seeing THAT person being called fat. It's a big catch 22 or just a no win situation.
Makes me think it's just best not to give a damn or even bother to listen because it always made it hard on me to like myself no matter what size I yo yo'd myself into

Can't please all the people all of the time.

BTW, thanks for your nice input Happily
I just read that Kelly Clarkson gets this a lot when she meets fans of hers who are overweight. Clarkson was deemed "big" back when she was on American Idol (a ludicrous notion) and now post baby is a bit on the chubby side, especially for a celebrity. (Personally I think she's gorgeous, though I dislike most of her songs.) At any rate she will often have fans meet her, fans who are themselves overweight, and they'll think, "Wow if K.C. is 'fat' then I must be super fat!" or words to that effect.

It really is a shame, because there are some beautiful people out there who become the object of public scorn due to weight. And while I am always very careful about use of the word "fat" (very negative image) I wonder why an otherwise benign descriptor has to be used only in a negative context. Fat and beautiful are certainly not mutually exclusive.

Finally, you can't please everyone all the time. That's why I keep going back to people looking to do what's right for themselves. That's not a selfish mentality, either. For example, I'm married and have kids. The right thing for me to do is pursue their well being and it makes me happy to do so. I think it is so liberating when you realize someone else's opinion of you is totally irrelevant. I'm glad I reached that stage. Doing so is what allowed me to step out as an FA.
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Old 04-04-2015, 05:36 AM   #53
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I think it's pretty easy to join the BBW club. Go to those health charts, see what you're "supposed" to weigh, tack on a hundred pounds, and voila... you're an official BBW.
lol official :-) xxx
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Old 04-04-2015, 10:14 AM   #54
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There really is no perfect answer as every body and circumstance is different. It's kinda like asking how old is old ? To a teenager ,40 ( say parents' age ) could be unthinkably old but to someone 55 forty would seem young and an eighty year old might have kids that are 55+.

Weight is a bit easier to define than age, IMO. A not so tall girl of about 64" height has to be considered medically overweight at a certain number of say 150 or so lbs, so at 200 there is no doubt about it even factoring in muscle mass and other factors.

Here's a woman with an interesting body. She once weighed 400 lbs and is 287 in the video and trying to lose. Her weight is in her thighs and rear and her belly looks pretty tight. She weighs the same as me and her waist is way firmer than mine. She has gigantic bosoms as well. She seems to be tall ? I don't think she really can lose much more weight with her pear shape. I think her body looks fantastic but she hates it.

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Old 04-06-2015, 01:51 AM   #55
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I think she probaly looked better before losing weight IMO xxx
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Old 04-11-2015, 09:01 AM   #56
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lots of women look better before they lose weight, at least to me. I almost always prefer the before picture to the after picture when a girl that wasn't really very fat to begin with loses weight
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Old 04-18-2015, 07:28 AM   #57
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lots of women look better before they lose weight, at least to me. I almost always prefer the before picture to the after picture when a girl that wasn't really very fat to begin with loses weight
il hold u to dat in a few years lol
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Old 04-18-2015, 09:37 AM   #58
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il hold u to dat in a few years lol
I'm good on my word, Kitty ! If you got as big as big as this girl is, I don't think you would look better if you lost 50 lbs. She has an attractive body ( IMO) and I'd like her to maintain this weight ( if she were my GF/ wife). Girl has a nice soft tummy and she wears her weight well.

She is a bit fatter than me, but not a lot. If she had to either lose or gain 50 lbs and it was my option to choose, it would be a tough choice.... but I'd probably have her gain the 50, unless she wanted to lose it instead. She has a body that would look good either way.


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Old 05-05-2015, 01:58 PM   #59
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I'm good on my word, Kitty ! If you got as big as big as this girl is, I don't think you would look better if you lost 50 lbs. She has an attractive body ( IMO) and I'd like her to maintain this weight ( if she were my GF/ wife). Girl has a nice soft tummy and she wears her weight well.

She is a bit fatter than me, but not a lot. If she had to either lose or gain 50 lbs and it was my option to choose, it would be a tough choice.... but I'd probably have her gain the 50, unless she wanted to lose it instead. She has a body that would look good either way.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OKDZ-LmdPk
I wonder if she weighs more dan me
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Old 05-07-2015, 10:56 AM   #60
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Definitions of BBW differ a lot, but fwiw I'd say that if you're clinically overweight, i.e. BMI of 25-29.9, then you're "chubby". If you're clinically obese, i.e. BMI of 30 and over, then you're a BBW. An SSBBW would be someone who is morbidly obese, which is usually defined as BMI of 40 and above, though there are other definitions.

So if you're really 5'4'', then to be a BBW you'd need to weigh at least 175.

I saw above that you are over 150, so that makes you chubby, but you don't look heavy enough to be a BBW.
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Old 05-08-2015, 03:18 AM   #61
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Definitions of BBW differ a lot, but fwiw I'd say that if you're clinically overweight, i.e. BMI of 25-29.9, then you're "chubby". If you're clinically obese, i.e. BMI of 30 and over, then you're a BBW. An SSBBW would be someone who is morbidly obese, which is usually defined as BMI of 40 and above, though there are other definitions.

So if you're really 5'4'', then to be a BBW you'd need to weigh at least 175.

I saw above that you are over 150, so that makes you chubby, but you don't look heavy enough to be a BBW.
im not sure the numbers are helpin here tbh
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Old 05-08-2015, 07:09 AM   #62
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im not sure the numbers are helpin here tbh
What do you mean? Are you saying that you don't weigh enough to be a BBW, or that you have trouble with the math?
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Old 05-08-2015, 09:18 PM   #63
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Actually I think I might have changed my mind: my cut-off for SSBBWs as having a BMI of 40 or above seems too low. Here is my new schema:

25-29.9: Curvy
30-39.9: Chubby or Plus-sized
40-54.9: BBW
55 and above: SSBBW

The cut-offs up to BBW correspond to the clinical categories of overweight, obese and morbidly obese. There is a clinical category of "super-obese" that starts at 45, but honestly to me 45 is not visually much different from 40. I picked 55 since it's literally off the charts on this BMI chart I found on a health site, which is kind of cool.

Anyway, OP, if you're 5'4", and somewhere just north of 150, then you're curvy but nowhere near BBW status, sorry. You need to be 174 just to get to plus-sized status, and 232 if you want to be a true BBW.
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Old 05-12-2015, 11:27 AM   #64
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Actually I think I might have changed my mind: my cut-off for SSBBWs as having a BMI of 40 or above seems too low. Here is my new schema:

25-29.9: Curvy
30-39.9: Chubby or Plus-sized
40-54.9: BBW
55 and above: SSBBW

The cut-offs up to BBW correspond to the clinical categories of overweight, obese and morbidly obese. There is a clinical category of "super-obese" that starts at 45, but honestly to me 45 is not visually much different from 40. I picked 55 since it's literally off the charts on this BMI chart I found on a health site, which is kind of cool.

Anyway, OP, if you're 5'4", and somewhere just north of 150, then you're curvy but nowhere near BBW status, sorry. You need to be 174 just to get to plus-sized status, and 232 if you want to be a true BBW.
is dat your view or official lol?
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Old 05-12-2015, 02:45 PM   #65
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is dat your view or official lol?
Just my view lol. Everyone has their own opinion. I like to think mine is more "scientific", and I just like numbers and quantifying things.
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Old 05-12-2015, 07:17 PM   #66
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Just my view lol. Everyone has their own opinion. I like to think mine is more "scientific", and I just like numbers and quantifying things.
There is nothing "scientific" about BMI. Height/weight. That's it. BMI is extremely limited because it does not account for bone density, muscle mass, etc. I'm "overweight" by BMI (5'7" and 170 pounds, so BMI of 26.6). But I'm definitely not overweight by any intelligent metric, and if you're using BMI as your metric you are greatly overstating numbers of overweight and obese people.

If you want scientific, abandon BMI and go with BFP. It's a much better metric of how overweight (or not) a person is.
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Old 05-13-2015, 05:39 AM   #67
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There is nothing "scientific" about BMI. Height/weight. That's it. BMI is extremely limited because it does not account for bone density, muscle mass, etc. I'm "overweight" by BMI (5'7" and 170 pounds, so BMI of 26.6). But I'm definitely not overweight by any intelligent metric, and if you're using BMI as your metric you are greatly overstating numbers of overweight and obese people.

If you want scientific, abandon BMI and go with BFP. It's a much better metric of how overweight (or not) a person is.
What is your BFP? BFP would be a more accurate measurement, but you need special tests to estimate it. Most BBWs I'm sure don't know their BFP, but they can give their height and weight. But you have to admit BMI is way better than raw weight, which is what a lot of people here like to use. 300 pounds on a six foot woman is different from 300 pounds on a five foot woman, regardless of bone density or muscle mass.
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Old 05-13-2015, 08:50 AM   #68
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I definitely agree on the difference in height changing how a 300 pound person appears, but I'm still not sold on BMI being a valid metric for anything beyond telling you your BMI. It's a self licking ice cream cone based on arbitrary ranges and descriptions. And it even when controlling for height and weight it isn't always an exact science. I know a guy who is the exact same height and weight as I am but we wouldn't be able to wear each other's clothes. So body type accounts for a lot of deviation as well. The beauty of BMI is that you can pull up a calculator online and in a matter of seconds find yours. But you get what you pay for. The caliper test for BFP is reasonably accurate and one can get one done at low or no cost at just about any fitness facility or health clinic.
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Old 05-13-2015, 12:03 PM   #69
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Well, since my lower cutoff for BBW status is BMI 40, the objections to BMI are somewhat moot. You can have trained athletes with body fat in the normal, "fitness" or even "athlete" range, who nevertheless measure as overweight by BMI (over 25) or even obese (30), based on high muscle mass, but I don't think this would go for people with BMI over 40 (unless maybe they're on steroids or are extreme statistical outliers for body type). And it's true also that bone density can affect BMI significantly: I've seen arguments that blacks in particular need a different calibration of BMI since on average they have significantly denser bones than other races. But again, not sure these concerns really extend as far as those with BMI of 40 and above.

But aside from all that, I agree that, in principle, BFP is a much better metric than BMI. The drawback is that, as you say, at the minimum it requires a visit to a clinic or fitness center, while for BMI you just need a scale (that goes high enough, lol) and some measuring tape.
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Old 05-13-2015, 01:30 PM   #70
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how do i get my bfp? xxx
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Old 05-13-2015, 01:37 PM   #71
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I definitely agree on the difference in height changing how a 300 pound person appears, but I'm still not sold on BMI being a valid metric for anything beyond telling you your BMI. It's a self licking ice cream cone based on arbitrary ranges and descriptions. And it even when controlling for height and weight it isn't always an exact science. I know a guy who is the exact same height and weight as I am but we wouldn't be able to wear each other's clothes. So body type accounts for a lot of deviation as well. The beauty of BMI is that you can pull up a calculator online and in a matter of seconds find yours. But you get what you pay for. The caliper test for BFP is reasonably accurate and one can get one done at low or no cost at just about any fitness facility or health clinic.
Of course, there are issues with caliper based tests. Mainly that a person with a huge amount of visceral fat and barely any subcutaneous fat will get a lower reading from that method than somebody with a small amount of visceral fat and a moderate amount of subcutaneous fat. Really, the only scientifically valid way of measuring body fat is to perform total immersion weighing, as in, to weigh a person on land and then in the water. Hooray for density differences, I guess.

Though I think all this proves is that there is no practical way to quantify 'fatness' as we are all so unique.
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Old 05-13-2015, 02:31 PM   #72
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Yes, immersion is definitely the gold standard for the bfp. Another issue with the caliper test is you need to be pretty consistent with where precisely you are measured, time of day, etc. It's still a decent test if you are not worried about precision and usually it's people trying to cut who care about that.

OP you can get you bfp estimated at your doctor's office or any fitness center where they employ personal trainers. The caliper test is decent but has its problems. You'll have to get it done a couple times over a few weeks to really get an idea of your bfp. The water immersion test is usually something you can do at a university but it won't be free.
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Old 05-22-2015, 09:16 AM   #73
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Of course, there are issues with caliper based tests. Mainly that a person with a huge amount of visceral fat and barely any subcutaneous fat will get a lower reading from that method than somebody with a small amount of visceral fat and a moderate amount of subcutaneous fat. Really, the only scientifically valid way of measuring body fat is to perform total immersion weighing, as in, to weigh a person on land and then in the water. Hooray for density differences, I guess.

Though I think all this proves is that there is no practical way to quantify 'fatness' as we are all so unique.
DEXA scans are also highly accurate and you get a cool visual. It'll even tell you how much fat is visceral and how much is subcutaneous.
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Old 05-23-2015, 11:32 AM   #74
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DEXA scans are also highly accurate and you get a cool visual. It'll even tell you how much fat is visceral and how much is subcutaneous.
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Old 05-24-2015, 04:30 PM   #75
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The clothing industry considers size 14 and above to be a BBW.
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